What qualities make for a perfect MATCH!

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GreenNnice

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The poll lists some choices. Maybe you have s'more of your own that sweeten the mix (of two) so to speak, from The One for finding your one. :D

I am pretty open myself but, the Lord leads, I just think their are going to be, in the knowing stages of the relationship more and more things that happen that affect your staying with that person.

Some of my factors:

Lifestyle likes

Income levels

Education

Church choice (denomination)

Religion choice (Islam marrying Christian, or, even Catholic marrying Christian, or, conservative marrying liberal worshipper).

Age

Goals

--What I would like you to do is comment on any/all of the factors, and, please, by all means, do add your OWN FACTORS, too, as what is important to you for, ultimately, seeing some one God has for you. :)

Yes, God is in control but He allows us to make our own choices and really thinking of right ways is important.

Julieannie quote I think explains the reasons why from The Right One thread:

Serving God as a team is far easier if we wait for the person who possesses the personality and gifts that God joins together with our own to do an awesome work in our lives. If we are bogged down by poor communication abilities, conflicting expectations of one another, unmatched skill sets, extreme differences of opinion regarding matters of faith, raising children, etc., it can be VERY distracting, time consuming and frustrating.

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Drat bisquits, I did this as a poll and no poll :( Oh well, green brains got the best of me again. Not a good thing I might add :D
 
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LOL @ drat bisquits


Some of my factors:

Lifestyle likes - I'm a very active person, but I do appreciate quiet time as well. The couch potato thing doesn't work for me though. I like learning/trying new things.

Income levels - Not a big issue for me because I really like working, but I know that some guys are not comfortable with a woman earning more than they do, so it would probably be better if it was around the same.

Education: I know a lot of people with expensive degrees who are educated beyond their capacity for understanding and some brilliant people who never went to college, so for me it's about intelligence and wisdom, not education.

Christian, or, even Catholic marrying Christian, or, conservative marrying liberal worshipper). - MUST be a follower of the Lord, and it must be evident in the way he lives his life, not just talk. No compromise. And since he is going to be the spiritual leader of the home, he will need to be spiritually mature. I love to talk about scripture, study, etc., so it would be important to be able to discuss these things at the same level.

Age - I don't think I would be comfortable with anyone more than 5 years younger (would have to be extremely mature) or more than 10 years older. I prefer older men historically.

Goals - I have some things that I think about that I have listed in another thread, but to be honest, I try not to set my own goals most of the time. God has all sorts of twists and turns planned for us, and some kewl surprises. Living life to the fullest and taking it as it comes would be my goal I suppose. :)
Church choice (denomination)
 
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grrr @ the edit thingie

Church choice: I don't do denominations, but I have nothing against those who do, as long as their beliefs are solid and scriptural. God has people in a lot of denominations. I was raised in AofG and Baptist churches, but I don't completely agree with either.

I hope this is what you meant for us to do :)
 
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They would absolutely HAVE to be female.
Other than that, I'm really curious to know what other people might suggest are qualities I need in a perfect match. I'll keep my own thoughts a secret for the moment.
 
Jullianna said:
grrr @ the edit thingie

Church choice: I don't do denominations, but I have nothing against those who do, as long as their beliefs are solid and scriptural. God has people in a lot of denominations. I was raised in AofG and Baptist churches, but I don't completely agree with either.

I hope this is what you meant for us to do :)
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Yep, that's it, julieannie, you read directions well :D
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Yeah, bisquits, I meant to have a poll .
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I did this thread so I should have qualities that I see important, but I am though older I am younger when it comes to dating and just not ever had a girl that I could go out with that I was in love with. Nope.
So, that said, I will just say I made the thread but none of the qualities mentioned are dealbreakers unless God breaks the deal :)
 
Lifestyle likes- He can't be lazy. Needs to be willing to to go shopping with me on a regular basis! :D
Also like the outdoors and stuff like that

Income levels-- Doesn't matter as long as he can manage money

Education-- Eventhough I am a college drop out I do like a guy that is well educated and common sense is AWESOME!

Church choice (denomination)-- I am not going to refuse to date someone just because they worship differently than I, but I think we can all agree if their views or congregation is the same it is easier. (I am Church of Christ, and very strong in my faith)Um

Religion choice (Islam marrying Christian, or, even Catholic marrying Christian, or, conservative marrying liberal worshipper).
Ummmmm look up ^^^^

Age I am 30 so as long as they are in their late 20s and not yet drawing social security I am cool.

Goals I dontcare what the goals are as long as they are positive, and doesnt give up on trying to achieve them. also my main goal is to finish my degree.
 
GreenNnice said:
Some of my factors:

Lifestyle likes

Income levels

Education

Church choice (denomination)

Religion choice (Islam marrying Christian, or, even Catholic marrying Christian, or, conservative marrying liberal worshipper).

Age

Goals

--What I would like you to do is comment on any/all of the factors, and, please, by all means, do add your OWN FACTORS, too, as what is important to you for, ultimately, seeing some one God has for you. :)

Yes, God is in control but He allows us to make our own choices and really thinking of right ways is important.
Click to expand...

This just reminds me of the never ending conversation of compatibility v. chemistry. As we look at compatibility, the age old cry of "opposites attract" resounds in my mind. After a really in depth analysis I kinda figured out where it's good to be different and where it's good to be similar... that said...

Lifestyle likes -- I'm like Jullianna, pretty active... and I think being with someone who really didn't like being active would be extremely difficult. On the flip side, I'm a musician - I am generally (but not always) repelled by other musicians because it would be a sensory overload in my life to have that existing everywhere. I also enjoy laughing - and if does not like laughing nor making other people laugh then I think there might be some serious issues.

Income levels -- Opposites attract, right? Any moneybags around?.....okay... but really, I would like to have a family someday and be a wife and a mother to the best of my ability so the ability to provide for that would be a huge blessing. However, after working in missions the last couple of years, I know God provides for what we need wherever we are in life :-)

Education -- Ummm... I see no reason why this would matter to me. I just don't want him to be intimidated by my education.

Church choice (denomination) --I could see this making a difference, but I'm not sure how. God works in some interesting ways and I'm sure there is more to learn in regards to denominations. I just hope for a Godly man who is committed and involved with serving in the church. I'm non-denom so... yeah, I dunno.

Religion choice (Islam marrying Christian, or, even Catholic marrying Christian, or, conservative marrying liberal worshipper). -- I think this is a place to be similar. I could not marry someone who shared my faith.

Age -- I often tell people I'm ageblind. I feel like I get along with people or I don't get along with people...

Goals -- After seeing my 10-year-plan being demolished and swept up by God (who proceeded to show me a better way to live), I see goals changing. I strive to follow God with whatever I'm doing - and I might have an ambition to accomplish one thing or another, and it'd be great to be with someone who shared that ambition...but God reveals new things all of the time and I cannot be one to say that something would be revealed to make my ambition change to match someone else's. However, if we both felt called in 2 different directions like... he feels called to Nigeria and I feel called to my backyard and neither of us see God working through both of those simultaneously with us as a team then... well, then that'd be something to reconsider.
 
Elizabeth619 said:
Lifestyle likes- He can't be lazy. Needs to be willing to to go shopping with me on a regular basis! :D

Also like the outdoors and stuff like that

Income levels-- Doesn't matter as long as he can manage money

Education-- Eventhough I am a college drop out I do like a guy that is well educated and common sense is AWESOME!

Church choice (denomination)-- I am not going to refuse to date someone just because they worship differently than I, but I think we can all agree if their views or congregation is the same it is easier. (I am Church of Christ, and very strong in my faith)Um

Religion choice (Islam marrying Christian, or, even Catholic marrying Christian, or, conservative marrying liberal worshipper).
Ummmmm look up ^^^^

Age I am 30 so as long as they are in their late 20s and not yet drawing social security I am cool.

Goals I dontcare what the goals are as long as they are positive, and doesnt give up on trying to achieve them. also my main goal is to finish my degree.
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Now THERE is a dealbreaker. :D
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Seriously, I buy and sell things for a living so I pretty much am weird in that way, I look for good deals and buy them, and, that, in a sense, could be called 'shopping,'
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So, Yeah, good stuff, elizzy, and, julieannie.

Qualities that guys fan certainly aspire for :)
Certainly, if the guy really likes you He will become those qualities too :)
The Lord leads.
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CheeksA-grinnin', I will let the ladies handle that one.
 
perdonato said:
This just reminds me of the never ending conversation of compatibility v. chemistry. As we look at compatibility, the age old cry of "opposites attract" resounds in my mind. After a really in depth analysis I kinda figured out where it's good to be different and where it's good to be similar... that said...

Lifestyle likes -- I'm like Jullianna, pretty active... and I think being with someone who really didn't like being active would be extremely difficult. On the flip side, I'm a musician - I am generally (but not always) repelled by other musicians because it would be a sensory overload in my life to have that existing everywhere. I also enjoy laughing - and if does not like laughing nor making other people laugh then I think there might be some serious issues.

Income levels -- Opposites attract, right? Any moneybags around?.....okay... but really, I would like to have a family someday and be a wife and a mother to the best of my ability so the ability to provide for that would be a huge blessing. However, after working in missions the last couple of years, I know God provides for what we need wherever we are in life :-)

Education -- Ummm... I see no reason why this would matter to me. I just don't want him to be intimidated by my education.

Church choice (denomination) --I could see this making a difference, but I'm not sure how. God works in some interesting ways and I'm sure there is more to learn in regards to denominations. I just hope for a Godly man who is committed and involved with serving in the church. I'm non-denom so... yeah, I dunno.

Religion choice (Islam marrying Christian, or, even Catholic marrying Christian, or, conservative marrying liberal worshipper). -- I think this is a place to be similar. I could not marry someone who shared my faith.

Age -- I often tell people I'm ageblind. I feel like I get along with people or I don't get along with people...

Goals -- After seeing my 10-year-plan being demolished and swept up by God (who proceeded to show me a better way to live), I see goals changing. I strive to follow God with whatever I'm doing - and I might have an ambition to accomplish one thing or another, and it'd be great to be with someone who shared that ambition...but God reveals new things all of the time and I cannot be one to say that something would be revealed to make my ambition change to match someone else's. However, if we both felt called in 2 different directions like... he feels called to Nigeria and I feel called to my backyard and neither of us see God working through both of those simultaneously with us as a team then... well, then that'd be something to reconsider.
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Perdyeeeeee! Hey, hey, HI :D :)

Age-blind, LOL , but you can see a cane ? Or a beanie cap with a helicopter blade spinning on top :D

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Yeah, perdy, interesting qualities list. The 'lifestyle likes,' graph most interesting, your thinking since you are a musician that a guy who is similar in musical talent (ambition?) would be 'sensory overload' for you and, therefore, not a good match.

There can be a lot of parallels/viewpoints drawn from that insight ^ , perdy. Definitely, an opposites attract view .

Interesting.
 
Must be lazy... No one really likes a go getter.

Animated. I like facial movements.

Quiet

Emotionally closed up. Theres nothing worse than a go getter who wants to talk about his feelings.

Loves to eat pizza, hotdogs, chips, cookies, ice cream, and twizzlers.

Likes to give money away.....mainly to me.
 
She would live a Christian lifestyle as I do and be as passionate about serving God as I am.

She would have strength's were I have weakness's and vise versa.

That's pretty much the whole shootin match right there.
 
Lifestyle: She has to try to keep God first, period. I'm probably boring by the standards of a lot of people lol. I am fairly easily amused and occupied. I don't need to travel the world, sky dive, etc. to be happy. So I'd probably do better with someone who isn't an adrenaline junky and doesn't have to be on the go constantly. I am more of a homebody usually. Yup. I'm not lazy though. I try to stay in pretty good shape, etc. so it would be nice if she did too. I could be pretty content just kicking back and watching TV, movie, etc. with her...just spending time together talking, laughing..whatever. I'm pretty simple for the most part there.
I'm usually drawn to musicians (rather than repelled, like Kim heh). Now I think it might be hard for me to be with someone who isn't a musician of some sort. It's such a huge deal for me, that I'd want that person to be able to understand that and get it too. Plus, we could hopefully make beautiful music together in more ways than one. :D If we have God and music in common, that's A LOT for me already. Really, that's true for friends often too...but it isn't as big a deal to me when it's just friends.

Income levels: I'm not rich right now. I'm far from it. In the future? Only God knows. I just have right now though for sure. I don't care about her income level. I'm definitely not the ideal guy right now though for any woman who wants the stay at home Mom, etc. thing. Chances are she's going to need to work and pull some weight too if we're going to pay the bills.
Once again though, it doesn't take a whole lot to make me content..and real love would be way more valuable than a big house, fancy car, and whatever else. If she's poor...well great. I don't care about that. Jullianna mentioned some guys being intimidated by women who make more than them. That is definitely true for a lot of guys. It's a pride thing. As for me, I don't care. Money has zero to do with anything. It's fleeting. Even if you're a millionaire today, you could have nothing tomorrow. There are no guarantees there.

Education: I could care less about how much formal schooling she has. I just want us to be on a similar level so we can discuss things and get along well in that respect. If she has gone to the school of life, that's good enough. :) The knowledge of the world doesn't mount to much in the long run. So whether she has a third grade education or a doctorate doesn't matter to me. We just need to connect. I'd rather have a woman who has common sense than someone with book smarts and no practical knowledge whatsoever.

Church choice: We need to have the same core beliefs, and hopefully very similar on others. I don't care about what label the church we go to has so long as that is in place. I would never even consider anyone who I don't have that in common with.

Age: This one is hard for me to answer. I really don't know. What is too young? What is too old? I think I just have to make it about the person. Sometimes age really is just a number. I just want someone who is on a similar level as me, so to speak..regardless of what their number is. ha.

Goals: I want her goal to be to try her best to keep God first in her life. That's my goal. I'm not perfect, and I feel like I fail miserably at it sometimes...but I try. I'd say it is important that we're going in the same direction and don't want different things in life. Once again, right now I really don't see myself as being that guy to give a woman the whole stay at home mom, white picket fence, etc. etc. kind of lifestyle that sooo many want. Could that change? Hmm. possibly, but it's not something to count on. I love kids, but at the same time don't know if I would want to have any...so that has to be considered. I'd love to make a living somehow with music. That would be great. So once again, if she shared in that passion then good.

All that said....someone mentioned their 10 year plan being demolished by God for His way..I think that was Kim again? .. Anyways, I can definitely relate to that. My life right now is different than I thought it would be at this point. So really I don't know what God has in store. He could change a lot of things. Maybe 10 years from now, things will once again look totally different than I thought they might. I try to stay open to that possibility and know that God knows best. My wants are not always what is best for me. He knows what is best though.
 
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Lifestyle likes: I always want a dog in the home :). Grew up with animals in the home, and rescuing them. I'm also fairly clean, so someone who isn't a complete slob- but I'm no neat freak. Moderate messes :P. Also, someone who cares enough for their body enough not to smoke and drink, and to eat a balanced diet.

Income levels: Doesn't matter to me. I'm going for a pretty high-paying career, and am kind of worrying about people getting the wrong impression about it, or taking advantage of me through it- but I don't care about their income, as long as they've a kind heart: rich in love!

Education: Intelligent in what they say and how they believe, and I'd like to be able to talk to them about semi-complicated or "deep" issues. So college degree is not required- I know it's not for everyone, and doesn't necessarily make you brighter than anyone else.

Church choice (denomination): I could probably adjust to and respect a lot of different denominational choices. I like going to church, so I'd attend with them if they wanted me to, and as long as I didn't feel from God that the church wasn't right for me.

Religion choice (Islam marrying Christian, or, even Catholic marrying Christian, or, conservative marrying liberal worshipper): If they're Christian and live for Jesus, I'm happy- but it's more complicated than that. I want someone who is not afraid to talk about faith in and outside of the home, but who respects others not of the same mindset.

Age: I'm 20, so no one under 18, and no one above... oh, 22. Need someone in the same place in life as I am, or the same general world. Problem is I look young for my age...

Goals: Not for riches. This I have observed through a previous relationship. To be stable, yes, that is desirable. But to want more and more is not in me, and I don't think I could live with someone who did so- heck, I know I can't, from living with my mother. Very frustrating.
Their intentions: why are they after what they are?

Music: After dating someone who Hated most of what I was into, I find that I need to find someone who at least can tolerate alternative and rock music. I listen to mostly Christian bands, or bands who are not strictly Christian but spread a Christian message. No swears or disrespect in the songs. Guess I need someone with similar musical tastes to my own.

I have more little things... I am very picky, but hope that God can be my matchmaker or lead me in the right direction :P.
 
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perdonato said:
Religion choice (Islam marrying Christian, or, even Catholic marrying Christian, or, conservative marrying liberal worshipper). -- I think this is a place to be similar. I could not marry someone who shared my faith.
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Maybe I'm the only person that caught this typo. I think I know Kim well enough to know she meant to say, I could not marry someone who didn't share my faith. :)
 
Lifestyle likes I enjoy the outdoors (camping, hiking, etc.) although I don't indulge often enough, probably because of the lack of someone to share it with. Although it doesn't fall into my list of musts, I definitely prefer a woman who can share these activities with me. I've said before that I'm looking for a woman that isn't so prissy that she can't enjoy the outdoors, but isn't such a tomboy that she can't get dressed up to go to a nice restaurant.

Income levels I value a person far more than just what they can earn. I'm not exactly in a high paying occupation myself so how could I place the demand of a high paying occupation on a prospective spouse? I would hope that whatever they did, they enjoyed their career, and had a strong work ethic.

Education Although I do not expect a woman to be "educated" as in a college graduate, I do expect that she will be capable of carrying an intelligent conversation on a broad spectrum of topics.

Church choice (denomination) I grew up in the American Baptist Church and have attended Assemblies of God, Calvary Chapel, and currently attend a Christian and Missionary Alliance church. Denomination is not important to me as long as they are doctrinally sound.

Religion choice (Islam marrying Christian, or, even Catholic marrying Christian, or, conservative marrying liberal worshipper). Absolutely must be a strong, growing Christian woman who loves the Lord more than she loves me.

Age I typically have dated women a few years younger than myself, but am not particular as long as she is mature. I do tend to draw the line at 30 though.

Goals Like many others have posted, God does tend to throw a monkey wrench in our goals and plans if we don't first.
 
I'm going to have to stand with Be Evergreen on the neat freak thing. I'm not OCD or anything, but came pretty close in younger days. :D I should probably have a warning label.

And it would be cool to be with someone who was a musician or at least someone with a passion for music, even if they didn't play an instrument, as it is a huge part of my life.
 
Oncefallen said:
Maybe I'm the only person that caught this typo. I think I know Kim well enough to know she meant to say, I could not marry someone who didn't share my faith. :)
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Thanks Jullianna, I actually saw it today but thought perhaps people are smart enough to see my error and read it as intended. :-) So thanks for pointing that out. :-)
 
perdonato said:
...me too... me too. I chuckled for a while.
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Me three, Nods makes me chortle too, even makes me give off a little yodel sometimes

sometimes

sometimes , sometimes.


Hey, does anybody hear an echo in here ? :D
 
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