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J
Let a widow be enrolled if she is not less than sixty years of age, having been the wife of one husband, and having a reputation for good works: if she has brought up children, has shown hospitality, has washed the feet of the saints, has cared for the afflicted, and has devoted herself to every good work. But refuse to enroll younger widows, for when their passions draw them away from Christ, they desire to marry and so incur condemnation for having abandoned their former faith. Besides that, they learn to be idlers, going about from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not. ~ I Timothy
To the woman he said, "I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you." ~ Genesis
Passion doesn't go away just because the man does, whether it be by death, divorce or whatever... It's tough.
I think it's not only important for men to understand this, but it's important for young women to understand. Once that fire is lit, it's lit. You can't unlight it. That's why the scriptures warn young ladies:
Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.
~ Song of Solomon 2:7
To the woman he said, "I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you." ~ Genesis
Passion doesn't go away just because the man does, whether it be by death, divorce or whatever... It's tough.
I think it's not only important for men to understand this, but it's important for young women to understand. Once that fire is lit, it's lit. You can't unlight it. That's why the scriptures warn young ladies:
Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.
~ Song of Solomon 2:7
J
I'll try 
It's a warning to young women not to expose themselves to lust before marriage. It's an encouragement for young ladies to remain pure and chaste until marriage.
I'm sure there are a lot of women in these threads who could tell you story after story of the heartbreak and hangups that sex of any kind outside of marriage (whether abusive in nature or premarital sex with someone they deeply cared about) can bring about in a woman's life. It can lead to frigidity, promiscuity, sexual addition, shame, low self-worth, etc.
Physical intimacy is awesome. Absolutely awesome. IF you wait until the right time. It's worth waiting for.
Does this help?
It's a warning to young women not to expose themselves to lust before marriage. It's an encouragement for young ladies to remain pure and chaste until marriage.I'm sure there are a lot of women in these threads who could tell you story after story of the heartbreak and hangups that sex of any kind outside of marriage (whether abusive in nature or premarital sex with someone they deeply cared about) can bring about in a woman's life. It can lead to frigidity, promiscuity, sexual addition, shame, low self-worth, etc.
Physical intimacy is awesome. Absolutely awesome. IF you wait until the right time. It's worth waiting for.
Does this help?
Yes... women absolutely do lust. My life would be so much simpler if it weren't true.
I have on several occasions given up hope. Of the 8 girls that were in my youth group, only 2 of them didn't have sex before marriage. At least two of them I know actively sought sex. I'm not one to insist that I will only marry a virgin, or one to claim that I won't marry a single mother, but it weighed heavily on me to think of all those women being lost so young.
Unfortunately, for a very brief period that despair lead to apathy. I embraced the mindset "well she wants it, why does it matter if I do or not." Gentlemen, and ladies, be very wary of this idea. It can creep in so easily, carefully disguised as "helping her" or "supporting her." It's a lie! She can verbally, even physically demonstrate a desire, but at her core she really doesn't.
Hope this rant isn't too off topic.
I have on several occasions given up hope. Of the 8 girls that were in my youth group, only 2 of them didn't have sex before marriage. At least two of them I know actively sought sex. I'm not one to insist that I will only marry a virgin, or one to claim that I won't marry a single mother, but it weighed heavily on me to think of all those women being lost so young.
Unfortunately, for a very brief period that despair lead to apathy. I embraced the mindset "well she wants it, why does it matter if I do or not." Gentlemen, and ladies, be very wary of this idea. It can creep in so easily, carefully disguised as "helping her" or "supporting her." It's a lie! She can verbally, even physically demonstrate a desire, but at her core she really doesn't.
Hope this rant isn't too off topic.
This reminds me of a recent (rather awkward) conversation I had with my folks, I don't think any person regardless of age wants to perceive their parents as sexual beings. Although the issues with men and women tend to be different because men are obviously more visually stimulated and women more emotionally, we all share the same struggle. It seems that in recent years the church is beginning to recognize this fact since some churches are now running sexual addiction support groups for both men and women (some not so wise about it and having them as mixed gender support groups).
J
Women associate sex with love, and we should; but not the promiscuous world's version thereof. It's very tough for them to separate the two. And so many young women don't have the love, affection and support they need at home, so they go looking for it elsewhere, especially women who have been abused in this way. And there are a lot of guys out there who know this and stand ready to feed upon it.
Personally, I think it would be great for guys to speak up in youth groups and make it clear that godly men see it differently.
Personally, I think it would be great for guys to speak up in youth groups and make it clear that godly men see it differently.
My mother once said. "Men play at love to get sex, women play at sex to get love." Obviously she was speaking of the way the world goes about things, but unfortunately this has permeated the church likewise in recent decades.
I couldn't possibly agree more Jullianna. So many young ladies today are growing up either without a father, or with a father that is emotionally unavailable to them so they go out into the world seeking to fill the natural desire that a woman has to be loved by a man (in healthy family she will develop her self esteem and knowledge of what proper male affection is from her father). Unfortunately most of them find not love, but a man seeking to fulfill the desires of his lust. It is a statistical fact that women who grow up with an father that engages with them regularly is by far less likely to: be sexually abused as a child, engage in sex as a teen, end up in abusive relationships as an adult, end up with drug and alcohol addictions, the list goes on.
Kinda kills the whole, "fathers aren't necessary" myth that is pushed by so many in secular society today.
I couldn't possibly agree more Jullianna. So many young ladies today are growing up either without a father, or with a father that is emotionally unavailable to them so they go out into the world seeking to fill the natural desire that a woman has to be loved by a man (in healthy family she will develop her self esteem and knowledge of what proper male affection is from her father). Unfortunately most of them find not love, but a man seeking to fulfill the desires of his lust. It is a statistical fact that women who grow up with an father that engages with them regularly is by far less likely to: be sexually abused as a child, engage in sex as a teen, end up in abusive relationships as an adult, end up with drug and alcohol addictions, the list goes on.
Kinda kills the whole, "fathers aren't necessary" myth that is pushed by so many in secular society today.
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J
If godly men/young brothers in Christ take the time to encourage young women to conduct themselves as godly ladies in edifying ways, it can have a tremendous impact in more ways than they can imagine (shaping their perception of men in general; understanding God's model of things; intimacy). It is very important to choose your words carefully though, as there is a huge difference between doing this and being condemning/critical, which can break a young christian woman's heart and spirit, and has been known to drive them from the church. They have an opportunity to be the godly, loving, protective fathers and brothers than many girls don't have at home.
HOWEVER, having said that, it is very important for certain safeguards to be in place so that no misunderstandings or compromises occur. Make your motives clear up front.
And, ladies, you must be careful too because, unfortunately, we do know there are wolves in sheep's clothing who pray upon the innocents..even in the church.
HOWEVER, having said that, it is very important for certain safeguards to be in place so that no misunderstandings or compromises occur. Make your motives clear up front.
And, ladies, you must be careful too because, unfortunately, we do know there are wolves in sheep's clothing who pray upon the innocents..even in the church.