I wonder...

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K

kayem77

Guest
#61
#61
This thread got interesting, I was reading it and I seriously didn't know what else to add...

When I think about it I can't think of a situation where a guy would need to say something about a woman's body.:confused: ...where would you he say it? and why? is the girl fishing for a compliment about her body? I can't imagine a guy approaching me and saying ''hey you have a great (insert body part here)'' because I would think ''ok, and why were you looking at my (insert body part here)?'' haha.

There are casual conversations when I don't see any danger on vaguely mentioning something about a body part, but I think the context matters. For instance:

Me: I'm craving pizza! I haven't eaten one since I got started in a diet.
Guy friend: A diet? but you are thing!
Me: yeah I know but I need to eat healthy
Guy friend: oh ok..... (continues with casual conversation).

In that context I think it's ok, however in other situations can be awkward and inappropiate...
 
G

GreenNnice

Guest
#62
#62
Relena7 said:
I made the mistake of looking at this thread before bed last night. Those "jokes" kind of gnawed at me to tell you the truth... I saw it as people making light of an outdated stifling attitude that's still an unfortunate reality for some.
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Sorry, rel, if I said any joke unfunny, I don't know but I would hope and pray my joke was taken funny, I don't want to poke fun at the topic, just like zere , trying to insert a little humor in threads. Sometimes, I know, I fail miserably, Really glad I got mercy then.
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To topic, not much to say but guys lust after a girl who is willing to do moral things that are not godly, like liking to go see a movie like 'american pie,' or, hmm, well, I will stop there, I hope I don't make a million enemies for that one, just trying to contribute. :D The Lord leads.

I agree too with julieannie, guys can keep a girl from thinking bad thoughts by keeping their shirt on, unless swimming at a church retreat or something and wearing tight pants is just plain gross to me but Im a guy. But yeah, more contributions, remember, if ever you szw my lovely face, it would look green and sheepshorn-grin nice :D

Also, guess im not done yet, what lightnin' said about girls speaking their sex life, don't, makes us think you don't care, hope that wasn't too dumb to say and that I remember lightnin's words correctly.

Also, as vkat says, yes, girls can lust over the cutesy thoughts of guys so dont say cutesy thoughts to girls you are really liking. Keep it real and keep God in the focus, that's not to say you can't trase hsr in good godly fun . Just keep the innuendo outta there. Or, God won't like it, might even punish you, say, 'yer OUT.'

Best advice, let the Lord lead your words, your actions, your body language so girl does not have to lust. Show Godly appearance, that will show her/him more than anything else :)
 
G

GreenNnice

Guest
#63
#63
kayem77 said:
This thread got interesting, I was reading it and I seriously didn't know what else to add...

When I think about it I can't think of a situation where a guy would need to say something about a woman's body.:confused: ...where would you he say it? and why? is the girl fishing for a compliment about her body? I can't imagine a guy approaching me and saying ''hey you have a great (insert body part here)'' because I would think ''ok, and why were you looking at my (insert body part here)?'' haha.

There are casual conversations when I don't see any danger on vaguely mentioning something about a body part, but I think the context matters. For instance:

Me: I'm craving pizza! I haven't eaten one since I got started in a diet.
Guy friend: A diet? but you are thing!
Me: yeah I know but I need to eat healthy
Guy friend: oh ok..... (continues with casual conversation).

In that context I think it's ok, however in other situations can be awkward and inappropiate...
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kayM, a guy compliments you inappropriately, give him 5,4,3,2,1 seconds to realize he was nervous and neing stupid and apologizes and, if no realization what was said was wrong, fleeeee .
my thought on that. And, sure, convetsation, by nature, can seem odd, even unappropriate at times. God gives us discernment for undetstanding if situation right for us.

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Nuf dat.

kayM , your avatar is totally powerful. Awesome .

Let Go(d)

He's got 'this' all under control, whatever 'this' is in our life. However tough, have faith, and, trust in Him, 'tnis' will turn out good. :)
 
K

kayem77

Guest
#64
#64
I just realized I had some typos on my last post:eek: I meant ''he'', and ''thin'' not ''thing'' haha
 
K

kayem77

Guest
#65
#65
GreenNnice said:
______()______
kayM, a guy compliments you inappropriately, give him 5,4,3,2,1 seconds to realize he was nervous and neing stupid and apologizes and, if no realization what was said was wrong, fleeeee .
my thought on that. And, sure, convetsation, by nature, can seem odd, even unappropriate at times. God gives us discernment for undetstanding if situation right for us.

====
Nuf dat.

kayM , your avatar is totally powerful. Awesome .

Let Go(d)

He's got 'this' all under control, whatever 'this' is in our life. However tough, have faith, and, trust in Him, 'tnis' will turn out good. :)
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Hahaha I haven't applied the 5 seconds rule , it depends on the ''compliment'', if it gets awkward I usually just go silent and leave, or change the topic.

and thanks! I found it on google and I loved it! I don't even remember what I was looking for when I accidentally found it :)
 
LightningClap0002

LightningClap0002

Senior Member
#66
Feb 10, 2008
3,371
16
38
#66
kayem77 said:
This thread got interesting, I was reading it and I seriously didn't know what else to add...

When I think about it I can't think of a situation where a guy would need to say something about a woman's body.:confused: ...where would you he say it? and why? is the girl fishing for a compliment about her body
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Well... To shed some light on y our fellow women, i have now asked 3 women what they would most wanted to be complimented for. One of them said her body. Not surprisingly, this person also happened to be the person who I was most guilty of complimenting on her body (in the past). So... is it really beneficial to continue complimenting her in this way, or is it detrimental to her even though it's what she wants? Did I subconsciously know all along that she desired these compliments? Really, I wasn't the least bit surprised about her response, but was it actually me who led her to or reinforced this desire for compliments on her body? I sure hope not, but maybe I am at fault.

As for complimenting "random" women on there body, even I am not so bold as to do that. And I certainly don't understand those who do. But the real eye opener for me was not about random people, but about how we compliment our friends. Not out of lust, but out of a desire to encourage and support our friends.

Anyways, I'm going to have to cut this short and run off to work. God Bless.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#67
#67
LightningClap0002 said:
Well... To shed some light on y our fellow women, i have now asked 3 women what they would most wanted to be complimented for. One of them said her body. Not surprisingly, this person also happened to be the person who I was most guilty of complimenting on her body (in the past). So... is it really beneficial to continue complimenting her in this way, or is it detrimental to her even though it's what she wants? Did I subconsciously know all along that she desired these compliments? Really, I wasn't the least bit surprised about her response, but was it actually me who led her to or reinforced this desire for compliments on her body? I sure hope not, but maybe I am at fault.

As for complimenting "random" women on there body, even I am not so bold as to do that. And I certainly don't understand those who do. But the real eye opener for me was not about random people, but about how we compliment our friends. Not out of lust, but out of a desire to encourage and support our friends.

Anyways, I'm going to have to cut this short and run off to work. God Bless.
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There are things our friends ask or want us to do at times that are not appropriate, right? Crossing certain boundaries with the opposite gender puts us at risk. The knowledge gained regarding those risks is hard won and permanent.

I have a feeling that if you truly thought it was appropriate, you wouldn't be asking. :)

Maybe the better question would be why she wants to hear this from YOU :)
 
LightningClap0002

LightningClap0002

Senior Member
#68
Feb 10, 2008
3,371
16
38
#68
Jullianna said:
There are things our friends ask or want us to do at times that are not appropriate, right? Crossing certain boundaries with the opposite gender puts us at risk. The knowledge gained regarding those risks is hard won and permanent.

I have a feeling that if you truly thought it was appropriate, you wouldn't be asking. :)

Maybe the better question would be why she wants to hear this from YOU :)
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We dated for 5 years... So maybe that answers one of your questions at least. :)
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#69
#69
Indeed, it does :)
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#70
Aug 2, 2009
24,601
4,272
113
#70
Jullianna said:
Do men understand that women struggle with issues of lust too?
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Most men do not because women are very good at hiding it. They don't drool or get tunnel vision when they see a cute guy, they don't talk about it or even allude to it in conversation if a man is around, and you usually don't see them with their hands all over their boyfriends/husbands in public.
 
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J

Jullianna

Guest
#71
#71
zeroturbulence said:
Most men do not because women are very good at hiding it. They don't drool or get tunnel vision when they see a cute guy, they don't talk about it or even allude to it in conversation if a man is around, and you usually don't see them with their hands all over their boyfriends/husbands in public.
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Girls do this in jr high...get all giggly/goofy, when they are first learning about such things and have no idea what it's about. :)

But, after they are hurt a time or two, as Relena said, we learn to protect ourselves. And MOST of our mothers teach us how to be ladies and behave accordingly. We learn that there are consequences otherwise. Not that there aren't consequences for guys too...but somehow the "boys will be boys" thing excuses it in our society. *shrugs*
 
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A

Anth07

Guest
#72
#72
Honestly I knew that women did struggle with lust but I guess women are masters of hiding it, as for men if you let it overtake you it can drive you insane. It is best to pray about it, when it becomes to difficult to handle ask the Lord to bless you with a spouse
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#73
Aug 2, 2009
24,601
4,272
113
#73
Jullianna said:
Girls do this in jr high...get all giggly/goofy, when they are first learning about such things and have no idea what it's about. :)

But, after they are hurt a time or two, as Relena said, we learn to protect ourselves. And MOST of our mothers teach us how to be ladies and behave accordingly. We learn that there are consequences otherwise. Not that there aren't consequences for guys too...but somehow the "boys will be boys" thing excuses it in our society. *shrugs*
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Yea, with guys (secular guys anyway) its actually a way to bond with their buddies. When I'd hang out with my friends (long before I accepted Jesus) we'd point out the cute girls to each other and express our appreciation of her looks (if she had nice EYES or nice legs, etc...) and we'd all be agreeing with each other like "oh yeah!" or "mm-hmm". And then afterwards we'd be like "hey remember the girl in the red dress?" and we'd all be like "oh yea she was sooo pretty!!" lol

Ok, I think I just violated an unwritten code of silence between all secular guys to never actually tell women about how they bond over that stuff. :eek:

Oh well, that's just the way it is. :cool:
 
Oncefallen

Oncefallen

Idiot in Chief
Staff member
#74
Jan 15, 2011
6,038
3,304
113
#74
violakat said:
tsk, tsk, boys, now really. You need to stop fighting for Julianna's attention. She will give you each the amount of attention you need in due order.
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Whisks Jullianna away to keep her attention to himself. :D:eek:
 
J

JJAC

Guest
#80
#80
yes as a teenager I know
 
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