BEWARE OF WOMEN/MEN

[Jullianna]

I have not written her anything. I see her as a friend. I walk and talk to her, but nothing overly romantic whatsoever. I do not have a romnantic interest in her. I was giving the other actions of examples of stuff I do, that I do not see as wrong...not that I have done for her. If sexual anything started coming into play, I would stay away.

God bless
tony

[/quote]

I absolutely believe this. This gentleman has always appeared to be exactly that in every aspect of these forums.

 

[Jullianna]

Woman! Know your place!

*melt* I love it when a guy gets all authoritative and stuff

 

[thefightinglamb]

I thought I should add that I work nights. I am sleeping over her house during the daytime. I am sleeping in a room when she is awake. She was not even home for most of the time.

God bless
tony

 

[GreenNnice]

I have not written her anything. I see her as a friend. I walk and talk to her, but nothing overly romantic whatsoever. I do not have a romnantic interest in her. I was giving the other actions of examples of stuff I do, that I do not see as wrong...not that I have done for her. If sexual anything started coming into play, I would stay away.

God bless
tony




___________________
Now, here is what fighterlamb said, excerpted paraphrased, from his OP:

My memory remembers:

He is sleeping in room of a girl's house fighterlamb LIKES, not just a girl friend, but a girl he LIKES. I am not using 'girlfriend' term because maybe she don't feel same way liking him.

1. Fighterlamb says he takes long walks with this girl
2. It sounds like he writes 'deep love letters' to this girl.

Double red flag NOT to sleep at her house in a guest room. No, no, no, no, no, no.

Did I say 'no' was my final answer ? No !

Scripture says: ”let your 'yes' be 'yes' and your 'no' be 'no,' lest you fall into judgment.”

OK, granted, maybe not a perfect tie-in to saying no to temptation but the thoughts do connect.
__________
Ok, so, you want to know how to lead yourself into a healthy relationship with this girl, fighterlamb, you go on long walks with and write deep love letters too but you still see as a sister?

Stay away from her guest room. Visit? Sure, but leave at night. Simple.

And, shawnteecee, said, you should 'respect girls like your sister,' is good, but all The respect in The world you have for a girl you LIKE , and, do.things with like 'long walks' needs no chance of seed of temptation to root, grow, become. God taught us all the so-sad Truth of temptation in the beginning of man's time and how we can be living in utter paradise and yet The Enemy can STILL swim in tempting, destroying words, to our minds (remember, ADAM was next to Eve when she ate of the forbidden fruit), in a moment's flash. All gone. Blink.

______
Sorry, fighterlamb, I apologize, I said 'deep love letters,' and you say its only 'deep letters,' and, I assumed you wrote letters to this girl you have no romantic interest whatsoever and long walks, or,, just 'walk and talk' as you just said. Ok, that is great to do those things, your original question is what is makings of a healthy relationship. Ok, wakking, talking, writing letters are GOOD . SLEEPING at a girl's house, any girl!, is UNhealthy .

But, that said, I don't think it is wise whatsoever to sleep at her house at night, unless her house is The White House , and , she sleeps in the west wing and you sleep in the far, far away east wing. Actually, even in THAT house, DON't stay The night ! No, no, no, no, no, no, no......

Unless it was some emergency weirder than weird situation, where you are forced into.a situation like.sleeping in car with girl in middle of nowhere cuz it dies in timbukto in nighttime, and, got no choice, don't do it.. Don't, don't....

The Lord leads, but where scripture is clear of temptation being of The Devil then don't do ANYTHING, EVER, that can invite The Devil. . Sure, too, we all fall short, we all err, have erred, will err in future . Err=sin.

So, like pop!click just said, there is a definite RED FLAG that should fly up (for all of us) when we THINK we can be in control of a situation that already is dripping with temptation. By the time you see the sin, it will, maybe, be too late, as you can read my story in earlier post but The Lord helped me overcome that temptation, I had a clear value system for my life, and, I was able to.have a way by Him made for my way out of that night with that girl. But it was not easy, that temptation was rooting quickly that night, I know God allowed me to flee. Thank you, my Lord .

 

[GreenNnice]

I thought I should add that I work nights. I am sleeping over her house during the daytime. I am sleeping in a room when she is awake. She was not even home for most of the time.

God bless
tony

Doesn't matter, fighterlamb, although this sleeping in girl's home SEEMS allowable since daytime, don't sleep at her house. Find another place, find another job (if being so far from work and can't/don't want to drive the distance to and from), it is not only weird , it is sending the wrong message to her.

The Lord leads but He will not lead you into this situation where you 'walk and talk' with a girl.and then sleep at her house. Even IF its platonic, no feelings of attraction to the girl it is not in God''s economy. But, hey, if it''s any consolation , Satan loves tnis kind of thing, 'it''s not bad is it if I flee as soon as the temptation and desire to sin comes? ”

Since God already tells us to flee temptation, then He is with nothing more to say, and, guess who has something to say? Satan!

And in Satan's economy, you will feel like you're getting rich, he will even say, 'Look what I've given you, this OPPORTUNITY with this girl, fighterlamb.'

fighterlamb: 'yeah,, but God says no to this sort of thingy before marriage.'

Satan: ' God? Where is he? He would be here if he cared that you did this, right?'

Fighterlamb:'yeah but--(Satan interrupts)

Satan: no 'yeah but,' about it, it feels good, just do it.'


Notice, in this example, just how quickly Satan moves you , not to mention, how he manipulatedly moves your mind. Satan is Dr. Feel Good . Lol, not really, just making a point. He's the doctor though, of lies, deceit, and, every imaginable thing evil you can think of.

Of course, this is an example conversation, but, go read Adam and Eve story in Genesis and let me know how this is different from how Satan tempted ( and caused infinite sin) them.

God bless you, Christ bro. I pray you choose what He wants for you, for His plans are set apart for us all, individually, and, only He knows what is truly best for you. Jer. 29:11 and psalms 139 are good chalter and verse

Healthy guy-girl relationships begin with God, stay with God, and, end with God. He is with you, always, fighterlamb, your life with Him is one of great relationship.

 

[Canadian36]

interesting post. I think just not over analysing. Just working on developing yourself. Working on being your own best friend. Being comfortable with who you are. Being confident. That way when your around women you're asking the kind of questions you seem to be asking in your post. If you're asking those types of questions, on what's all appropreiate and how to behave etc etc etc. Then you need to just work on yourself more. Like get to know some girls, become friends with them. get comfortable with being around them. And there's nothign wrong with touching, my goodness. Give them a hug whenever you see them for peet sake. Then eventually if you meet the girl who you think is the one you want you won't be so awkward around her that you blow it. YOu'll be a normal decent fun friendly interesting and exciting guy, the kind of guy she might like to spend time with. Don't second guess yourself or over analyse. Just be yourself and give each woman you encounter the friendship, decency, respect and not creep her out. But no touching is fine. If you're not touching somethings wrong. If you're over analysing everything something is wrong too. All they want is a normal guy. Not a creeper.

 

[Lucy68]

*sigh*

Okay, it's become apparent to me, that my posts are being seen as unclear, or my points (at least the ones im TRYING to make) are being misconstrued.

DISCLAIMER: I am in no way encouraging cohabiting, sex before marriage, or any other kind of immoral temptation.

I'm just not wording my posts very well today, and since I can't be bothered editing them .. lets just forget I even spoke (must be time for more coffee).

I thought you had some good points! Yes, definitely males and females can be just friends.

But in this PARTICULAR situation, it may be better for the young man to find different sleeping arrangements. Anything involving a bed in a lone female's apartment is inviting problems.

An hour's drive to work is very long...maybe it's possible for him to move close to his work

 

[violakat]

Since I have actually eaten at the same table with a guy or two alone in the same house, I'm probably evil to the bone. Sat on the same sofa and watched a movie even!!! GASP!!!!

How could you?

But seriously, I would strongly suggest to be very careful with living with someone of the opposite sex (not referring to those who are dating n but just roomates,) as things can still happen. And that would also be the same for those who are staying overnite with just friends. Is it wrong? Probably not. But is it wise? That's a different question.

 

[CC_Bride]

In the extreme, I have a friend that refuses to touch women whatsoever/let them touch him.

Thats so stupid. Jesus had close female friends and I bet he was great at hugging and platonic intimacy where it was due that involved hanging out and touching, not to mention he had a woman touch his feet then dry it with her hair. Who does this guy think he is? Holier than Jesus himself? In order to maintain such a screwed up doctrine he'd have to hold the same standard to his own mother and sisters.

 

[thefightinglamb]

He holds to many Jewish believes and thinks Christian's should delight to follow the Old testament law. In the Old Testament it says women when having periods are unclean, so the Jews came up with a way to make sure they were not defiled by women's uncleanness--not touching women whatsoever. This is why my friend does not touch women, he got it from the Old Testament, kind of, that he still tries to live by...

I do not follow this rule...just telling you his beliefs...It is not because he thinks women are profane in and of themselves, but that the Old Testament says a woman in the mist of her period is unclean and you should not touch them...

God bless
tony

 

[Lucy68]

He holds to many Jewish believes and thinks Christian's should delight to follow the Old testament law. In the Old Testament it says women when having periods are unclean, so the Jews came up with a way to make sure they were not defiled by women's uncleanness--not touching women whatsoever. This is why my friend does not touch women, he got it from the Old Testament, kind of, that he still tries to live by...

I do not follow this rule...just telling you his beliefs...It is not because he thinks women are profane in and of themselves, but that the Old Testament says a woman in the mist of her period is unclean and you should not touch them...

God bless
tony

Wow, this would make me feel like some kind of contaminant.

Reminds me of running around on the playground chasing the boys with them yelling 'ewwww....you've got cuties!'. That just made me chase them harder ..... I usually caught them

(I think they let me catch them )

 

[Jullianna]

Haha Lucy My stepdad always said he chased my mom til she caught him

*takes her cooties with her as she leaves*

 

[Oncefallen]

GAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jullianna cooties!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
















nevermind, they aren't bad afterall

 

[GreenNnice]

He holds to many Jewish believes and thinks Christian's should delight to follow the Old testament law. In the Old Testament it says women when having periods are unclean, so the Jews came up with a way to make sure they were not defiled by women's uncleanness--not touching women whatsoever. This is why my friend does not touch women, he got it from the Old Testament, kind of, that he still tries to live by...

I do not follow this rule...just telling you his beliefs...It is not because he thinks women are profane in and of themselves, but that the Old Testament says a woman in the mist of her period is unclean and you should not touch them...

God bless
tony

Needs to read the 2nd half of the Truth, maybe you should offer to read through the NEW law with Him, one of grade, and, a great place to start would be Galatians, fighterlamb.

Wow, this would make me feel like some kind of contaminant.

Reminds me of running around on the playground chasing the boys with them yelling 'ewwww....you've got cuties!'. That just made me chase them harder ..... I usually caught them

(I think they let me catch them )

Girl germs, girl germs !

Beware, beware, be a very wary bear, boys, cuz....... dem girls are really weird, they uh looky like heffalumps and woozles. (song and characters from 'The Adventures of Winnie The Pooh')

_______
Oh, miladies, I uh just kidding, you got nooooooooooo germs (except my sister ). And you all look.nothing like heffalumps or, wooHMMMMMMmmmmm, well, okay, maybe there is,a little 'woozle' look to.ya

 

[rauleetoe]

With regard to being concerned about what other people think....unbelievers are quick to jump on any situation that even hints of a hypocritical Christian.

Sleeping at a friend-of-the-opposite gender's house can be all innocence but do you really want to become a stumbling block to someone struggling to believe?

As witnesses, we have a tremendous responsibility...Paul talks about this somewhere...about not hindering the weaker brother. I don't really concern myself with judgmental Christians; it's the seekers who are watching us VERY closely. So, yeah...it does matter.

I agree..can you pour hot coals into your lap and not be burned? I for one will not entertain a sleepover with a female..it kills your witness..its temptation..never fool yourself into thinking you are that strobg..even if you were..she may have an idea up her sleeve which is why she let you stay over..and you are a cause gor stumbling to your brother/sister..whom the Lord Jesus also died for? Why give the devil any place in your life? It may seem 'legalistic' i too was waiting to be married before doing things matrued folk do...met a 'cheistian' girl who. ' friend' introduced me to..it only took one time alone with her for it to turn bad..oh and she is not whom she said she was..i do not believe she is a christian..ladies..gents..we are called to be a holy people..lets not fool around and play games with God

 

[Powemm]

David also thought he was strong enough standing on the roof