How important is it for you to date a virgin?

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missy2shoes

Guest
#21
#21
chelsers said:
You're right without a doubt, but I just want to add this to the whole discussion. People seem to say that it's okay to have "preferences." People usually are okay with someone having to have "chemistry" or wanting someone taller or shorter as well as various other external features that have no bearing on one's soul or character.

We don't scoff when someone wants a partner who has a similar personality, or someone who wants kids, etc. etc. I understand this is a touchy subject for many, but I don't think it's at all unreasonable then to prefer someone who has saved themselves for marriage. That's not saying that those who are virgins are "better" that's not saying that those who are not virgins are condemned, that's a preference and a preference based on more than frivolity.

For example, I don't want to marry a man who already has kids. Is that unreasonable? I don't think so. I also want to be someone's first and only wife. I don't think that's unreasonable. I'm not condemning, I'm not judging, I'm choosing someone to spend the rest of my life with.
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Thanx for clarifying that Chel....and I agree it is a touchy subject.....I've only been a Christian for approx 5 years.....and I'm not a virgin......if that bothers some guys then they obviously aren't compatible with me lol.....and hey I want a guy who can look beyond my past.....that's me having a preference too.....so yea.....it ain't wrong to have preferences, but flexibility is a great thing too ;)
 
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SamIam

Guest
#22
#22
My prefrence is to find someone that wants to imitate christ and be like him. That means Looking beyond what you once were or what you once did, and seeing who you are in christ now. Thats my prefrence
 
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missy2shoes

Guest
#23
#23
Amen to that Sam :)
 
C

chelsers

Guest
#24
#24
SamIam said:
My prefrence is to find someone that wants to imitate christ and be like him. That means Looking beyond what you once were or what you once did, and seeing who you are in christ now. Thats my prefrence
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I understand that, but that doesnt' make someone wrong or "not Christlike" to be looking for someone who has lived their lives in a similar manner. That's not wrong. I forgive people, but I'm not marrying everyone, I'm marrying one person.
 
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SamIam

Guest
#25
#25
chelsers said:
I understand that, but that doesnt' make someone wrong or "not Christlike" to be looking for someone who has lived their lives in a similar manner. That's not wrong. I forgive people, but I'm not marrying everyone, I'm marrying one person.
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you misunderstood me. As you have your prefrence i have mine. And this is mine and this is what i think.
 
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chelsers

Guest
#26
#26
missy2shoes said:
Thanx for clarifying that Chel....and I agree it is a touchy subject.....I've only been a Christian for approx 5 years.....and I'm not a virgin......if that bothers some guys then they obviously aren't compatible with me lol.....and hey I want a guy who can look beyond my past.....that's me having a preference too.....so yea.....it ain't wrong to have preferences, but flexibility is a great thing too ;)
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I agree and not everyone is meant for everyone. Flexibility is important, but there are people who have saved themselves (not to say that if you haven't that makes you a bad person) and they're not "unflexible" or wrong to look for someone who has also done the same. I feel like that's what people are saying in here and that in itself is unfair. Not saying that's what you're saying I mean in the forum so far lol.
 
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chelsers

Guest
#27
#27
SamIam said:
you misunderstood me. As you have your prefrence i have mine. And this is mine and this is what i think.
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I gotcha I just wanted to make sure you weren't saying that someone isn't trying to be Christlike because of their preference.
 
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missy2shoes

Guest
#28
#28
hahaha I understand ya Chel :)
 
M

missy2shoes

Guest
#30
#30
LOL.....mine does too....but because I ate too much choccy yesterday and now I'm having withdrawals haha
 
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SamIam

Guest
#31
#31
chelsers said:
I gotcha I just wanted to make sure you weren't saying that someone isn't trying to be Christlike because of their preference.
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nope, that wasnt what i was saying. I was just simply stating that i want someone to be christ minded as in they wont look down on me for things i have done in the past.. I want to be accepted as is
 
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chelsers

Guest
#32
#32
SamIam said:
nope, that wasnt what i was saying. I was just simply stating that i want someone to be christ minded as in they wont look down on me for things i have done in the past.. I want to be accepted as is
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Right, I don't think anyone's looking down on anyone here.
 
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chelsers

Guest
#35
#35
SamIam said:
i dont think anyone is. Im talking about future people that i could date...
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I hear ya home slice :) Do people still say home slice? Oh well I do.
 
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Jordan9

Guest
#36
#36
Chels,

I'm saying it's unfair because it is. Consider it this way.

God is Holy, I am far from it. God still wants to be with me forever.

You and I are not holy. Marriage, while an important and holy part of life, is not as important as being with God forever. If God can forgive enough to let us live with and bond with Him forever, who are we to refuse to bond with someone for about 60-80 years?

It's incompatible logic in my view. I don't see it any different than saying, "I want a blonde wife," or "I want a rich husband."

I'm not saying I'm right, I'm just saying I don't understand how you can differentiate between virgin men and non-virgin men, when God does not.
 
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SamIam

Guest
#37
#37
Jordan9 said:
Chels,

I'm saying it's unfair because it is. Consider it this way.

God is Holy, I am far from it. God still wants to be with me forever.

You and I are not holy. Marriage, while an important and holy part of life, is not as important as being with God forever. If God can forgive enough to let us live with and bond with Him forever, who are we to refuse to bond with someone for about 60-80 years?

It's incompatible logic in my view. I don't see it any different than saying, "I want a blonde wife," or "I want a rich husband."

I'm not saying I'm right, I'm just saying I don't understand how you can differentiate between virgin men and non-virgin men, when God does not.
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AMEN to that!! and im curious also....... What do you do.. just walk up to someone you think you might like and ask....... HEY .... YOU ........... are you a virgin????
 
C

chelsers

Guest
#38
#38
Jordan9 said:
Chels,

I'm saying it's unfair because it is. Consider it this way.

God is Holy, I am far from it. God still wants to be with me forever.

You and I are not holy. Marriage, while an important and holy part of life, is not as important as being with God forever. If God can forgive enough to let us live with and bond with Him forever, who are we to refuse to bond with someone for about 60-80 years?

It's incompatible logic in my view. I don't see it any different than saying, "I want a blonde wife," or "I want a rich husband."

I'm not saying I'm right, I'm just saying I don't understand how you can differentiate between virgin men and non-virgin men, when God does not.
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I said what I said and I mean what I mean. Do you discriminate based on anything? Would you marry anyone? Of course you wouldn't.

I differentiate because I would like someone with whom I will be their first and they will be mine.

"It's incompatible logic in my view. I don't see it any different than saying, "I want a blonde wife," or "I want a rich husband."

So you're equating a physical attribute given by God to what is, whether people like to hear it or not, a sin. Pre-marital sex is a sin.

God forgives, I forgive, but I choose to be with someone who is a virgin unless God leads me otherwise. So far he has not.
 
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chelsers

Guest
#39
#39
SamIam said:
AMEN to that!! and im curious also....... What do you do.. just walk up to someone you think you might like and ask....... HEY .... YOU ........... are you a virgin????
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See, you say you allow for other preferences but then you mock others preferences. That's not Christlike at all.
 
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SamIam

Guest
#40
#40
i am curious........ what would happen if god had prefrences... Kind of off the topic... I'm so glad he doesnt! Im so thankful he forgives me and takes me as just me.
 
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