Hello Everyone,
I am torn between two lines of thought and would like to know everyone's opinions and experiences.
Which is best?
1. To date several people and/or have several relationships before marrying to see what you like or don't like, or
2. To just wait on "the one God has for you" without much dating at all?
I suppose the third answer would be that different things work for different people. For myself, I haven't dated much but did have very long-term relationships. However, I always envied my friends who dated several people--I figured they knew a lot more than I did and were having a lot more fun.
But some of my friends (both guys and girls) who've dated a lot seem to have also developed an unforeseen "side effect"--they've become so bitter (sometimes without knowing it) and and suspicious that they cannot trust anyone. They're so used to falling for someone (or having someone fall for them), being lied to, cheated on, etc., that when anyone else comes along, they think, "Oh, who cares if you say you love me, it'll only be a matter of time before I catch you doing the same things," and the cycle repeats itself over and over, causing more and more damage each time.
One thing I don't like about myself is that for some reason, no matter how much I may hurt, I always give the next person the benefit of the doubt. I suppose it's a God-given trait but I feel like it also acts as a huge target on my forehead: "NAIVE AND GULLIBLE."
One of my best friends once told me she wished she could be more like that, because she says she "can't trust anyone now," even when she wishes she could. She is terrified of even trying to form friendships because of how many times people have lied to her.
I have heard that if you put up a wall around your heart, you will be successful in keeping others out. But the problem is, you also imprison yourself on the inside, leaving yourself no way out.
How about all of you? Has dating made you a better person... or has it made you bitter and suspicious? If not, how have you managed to keep a positive attitude? And if it has left you with negative feelings, how are you coping/working to change that?
As usual, the poll is anonymous and multiple-choice. God bless!
I am torn between two lines of thought and would like to know everyone's opinions and experiences.
Which is best?
1. To date several people and/or have several relationships before marrying to see what you like or don't like, or
2. To just wait on "the one God has for you" without much dating at all?
I suppose the third answer would be that different things work for different people. For myself, I haven't dated much but did have very long-term relationships. However, I always envied my friends who dated several people--I figured they knew a lot more than I did and were having a lot more fun.
But some of my friends (both guys and girls) who've dated a lot seem to have also developed an unforeseen "side effect"--they've become so bitter (sometimes without knowing it) and and suspicious that they cannot trust anyone. They're so used to falling for someone (or having someone fall for them), being lied to, cheated on, etc., that when anyone else comes along, they think, "Oh, who cares if you say you love me, it'll only be a matter of time before I catch you doing the same things," and the cycle repeats itself over and over, causing more and more damage each time.
One thing I don't like about myself is that for some reason, no matter how much I may hurt, I always give the next person the benefit of the doubt. I suppose it's a God-given trait but I feel like it also acts as a huge target on my forehead: "NAIVE AND GULLIBLE."
One of my best friends once told me she wished she could be more like that, because she says she "can't trust anyone now," even when she wishes she could. She is terrified of even trying to form friendships because of how many times people have lied to her.
I have heard that if you put up a wall around your heart, you will be successful in keeping others out. But the problem is, you also imprison yourself on the inside, leaving yourself no way out.
How about all of you? Has dating made you a better person... or has it made you bitter and suspicious? If not, how have you managed to keep a positive attitude? And if it has left you with negative feelings, how are you coping/working to change that?
As usual, the poll is anonymous and multiple-choice. God bless!
