Wives submit to your husbands
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Couples should have mutual respect for each another in order to have a healthy relationship. They should have each other’s best interest at heart which will foster harmony in the home. A husband should not treat his wife in a way that he wouldn't like to be treated and vice versa just as the golden rule says 'do to others as you would have them do to you'. To me, Proverbs 31 woman is the epitome of a submissive wife. She basically takes on her role as a woman ensuring the upkeep of her home that her husband and children praise her. That is definitely what every godly woman should emulate (a humble and modest disposition).
Possessiveness can be in form of suspicion, insecurity, jealously, manipulative and stalking behaviour, isolating the wife from friends, etc. Such relationship is dangerous and it's very unfortunate when children are involved. I have heard of people who grew up witnessing their father abuse their mother that they too disrespect her, their wives and women in general. So this is something a God-fearing husband should keep in mind; he is to be a positive role model for his sons. Submission is different from oppression in that it is not forced but giving out of love. On the other hand, a protecting and loving husband is the reliable anchor of the family thus his wife and children depend on him and trust him. The ultimate anchor of every Christian home is Jesus Christ so one should endeavour to make Him the center of their family. Certainly, there is no perfect marriage, problems will arise nonetheless love should be paramount - they should love each other even as Christ loves us in every circumstances.
Possessiveness can be in form of suspicion, insecurity, jealously, manipulative and stalking behaviour, isolating the wife from friends, etc. Such relationship is dangerous and it's very unfortunate when children are involved. I have heard of people who grew up witnessing their father abuse their mother that they too disrespect her, their wives and women in general. So this is something a God-fearing husband should keep in mind; he is to be a positive role model for his sons. Submission is different from oppression in that it is not forced but giving out of love. On the other hand, a protecting and loving husband is the reliable anchor of the family thus his wife and children depend on him and trust him. The ultimate anchor of every Christian home is Jesus Christ so one should endeavour to make Him the center of their family. Certainly, there is no perfect marriage, problems will arise nonetheless love should be paramount - they should love each other even as Christ loves us in every circumstances.
Yes I agree with you, but how do you distinguish between protective and possessive? If I were a husband there would be things that I wouldn't want my wife to do, not because I was possessive but rather protective. However, my wife might perceive it as possessive. I had this problem with my ex girlfriend (before I was a Christian). There were certain things I didn't want her doing because I wanted to protect her, but she twisted it and accused me of being possessive.
So, how do you distinguish between being protective and being possessive?
So, how do you distinguish between being protective and being possessive?
I think the difference is in the explanation and in your ability to listen. Your ex girlfriend is an adult, you are not an authority over her and she is capable of making her own decisions. If you feel she shouldn't do something you need to explain the reason you feel that way and listen to her reply. Being possessive is forbidding her to do something, being protective is caring that she is safe and expressing your concern.
You are dead wrong and I'm very close to completely ignoring your comments. If a woman wanted to do something that her husband believed to be putting her at risk, he has a God given right to tell her not to do it. That's why God, through Paul, said, "Wives, submit to your husbands." If Adam had had the courage to tell Eve not to eat the forbidden fruit, I guess you would have accused him of being possessive.
M
So, just so we can understand your idea of "protect" better, do you have certain things in mind that you don't want your future wife to do, for her own safety?
You're coming across as very possessive towards a woman who isn't even 'yours' yet, and it tends to raise peoples' hackles. So what are some things you would protect your wife from?
You're coming across as very possessive towards a woman who isn't even 'yours' yet, and it tends to raise peoples' hackles. So what are some things you would protect your wife from?
So, you are choosing not to listen? I have twisted nothing. You asked the difference between being possessive and protective and I told you, you argued that you had the "God given right" to tell a wife she is not to do something and I pointed out that a wife is an adult and that you cannot forbid an adult. Where is the twisting?
You appear to have no respect for women.
You appear to have no respect for women.
An interesting read on the topic, What does it mean for wives to submit to their husbands?
Okay. First, I have no issue with being submissive to a man who is following after God. None. And I like the idea of my future husband taking care of me and wanting me to be safe. Ya know like, "Hey honey, please don't go grocery shopping without me at 3am". Okay, that makes sense. No problem. But if he's like, "I'm driving you everywhere you go" or "No, you can't work in the ER because crazy people are there" or nonsense like that... yeah, that's a problem. Protective is one thing, fearful is something completely different.
Well for example, if the wife wanted to watch a TV program that was ungodly, i.e one of those stupid TV shows where feminists make fun of marriage and men, and the husband didn't want his wife watching it because he believed it would be a bad influence, but the wife didn't see any harm in watching it.
Or if the wife wanted to go to a quiet bar with her friends in a short skirt, and the husband was unhappy about it.
This is where things can get difficult. The husband thinks he is being protective, but the wife might see him as being possessive. As a man, I don't think any man or woman who professes the name of Christ should do anything that God would not agree with. So, how does God feel about people who watch sinful TV shows? How does God feel about women who go to clubs in short skirts? Women might think they're doing no harm, but how does God see it?
Or if the wife wanted to go to a quiet bar with her friends in a short skirt, and the husband was unhappy about it.
This is where things can get difficult. The husband thinks he is being protective, but the wife might see him as being possessive. As a man, I don't think any man or woman who professes the name of Christ should do anything that God would not agree with. So, how does God feel about people who watch sinful TV shows? How does God feel about women who go to clubs in short skirts? Women might think they're doing no harm, but how does God see it?
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