Wow...to you, Seoul, and several others...I not only hear you, but relate. ^^ Seriously...it's strange to say, but just the knowledge that you're not alone (I know we're never alone, because the Holy Spirit is with us, but I'm talking about people right now...) in such struggles is comforting, ya know?
I always found it tragic/ironically humorous that some of the 'the world' (ungodly people) had so much acceptance, forgiveness, and community to offer...yet we, as the church, (not specifically to anyone, but buy & large) seem to furthering people sufferings...
In fact, I've dealt a lot with suicide in other lives and even once before in my own. Christ's message of love, hope, acceptance, and forgiveness is exactly what everyone needs! (especially in those cases)...so then why do some of us preach damnation? Lol...I'm pretty sure everyone's been thoroughly schooled in that... ^^0
In fact, on the topic of suicide, I think of a song (a secular song) that I can identify/relate to:
The Spill Canvas - Self Conclusion (Lyrics) - YouTube
This person actually convinces her to live, rather than condemning her for wanting to die...
In any case, know that God loves you (everyone), and not like the world loves you, but in ways that other people might judge you for. He'll never turn you away. We're all messed up, but God loves and wants us anyway, so don't run from Him! ^^ Seriously...if you gain anything from knowing me at all...gain that God is real, and you need Him...more than anything else...
...yet, when you are in God, you'll soon learn that He's ALL ABOUT others...so don't shut people out either. We all need each other. We all need God. He wants us to be so.