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BarlyGurl
Guest
there is an answer in the bible for the cause of singleness depression... "hope deferred makes the heart sick"... of course that includes any "hope" not just the desire for a mate.
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It's so interesting that this post was all over my ''wall'' today, due to friends on cc responding to it. It's just what I needed to read tonight. I have been kinda down the last few days, and I tend to go in cycles/waves like some other posters wrote. I have never really pinpointed when in the past I moved past the depressive feelings, but some of your posts have given me new insight. 
Thanks!
Thanks!
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AmmiAmmiel
Guest
Indeed, suicide is something that is not to be concerned with. I too have succumb to thoughts of it in the past myself, experimented a lot but never really attempted to do it. The worst thought of it came when I was addicted to exstacy and using other drugs as well,.. It got to the point where I was using exstacy 5 times a month, and they say never to so it more than twice a month. But nevertheless, the thought came that I didn't think I could live happily without this drug, because whenever I came off it, life seemed so empty,.. So I just thought I'd use more drugs to help me be happy and enjoy life. That's when God made me think otherwise. He said "No my son, you can and will live happily without these drugs, I will show you", and all within a split second, my life was saved from the forces of evil through those drugs.
Bottom like is that I ventured into sex and drugs as a matter of will I ever be happy enough anymore? (Ever since my first love at the age of 16 cheated on me), I couldn't be happy without a sense of the world. I wanted to know what would make a person do something like that and think it's ok? As naive as I was at such a young age, I got into a lot of bad things way too fast. All because of my selfishness and fear of depression,. So never let your mind stray from The Lord your God, who has taught you and brought you into existence for His good pleasure. Be happy for He is happy with you. The reason God created you was for His good pleasure. Any other reason is for Him alone to know. "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28 NKJV). His purpose is His good pleasure, to which we are called. We are to live to serve and please Him in all that we do. So be not depressed not concerned with the things if this world (which is perishing), but live in the Truth and concern yourself with the Kingdom of God (which will never perish).
Bottom like is that I ventured into sex and drugs as a matter of will I ever be happy enough anymore? (Ever since my first love at the age of 16 cheated on me), I couldn't be happy without a sense of the world. I wanted to know what would make a person do something like that and think it's ok? As naive as I was at such a young age, I got into a lot of bad things way too fast. All because of my selfishness and fear of depression,. So never let your mind stray from The Lord your God, who has taught you and brought you into existence for His good pleasure. Be happy for He is happy with you. The reason God created you was for His good pleasure. Any other reason is for Him alone to know. "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28 NKJV). His purpose is His good pleasure, to which we are called. We are to live to serve and please Him in all that we do. So be not depressed not concerned with the things if this world (which is perishing), but live in the Truth and concern yourself with the Kingdom of God (which will never perish).
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Jullianna
Guest
Thank you all for sharing your lives here. I hope it is helpful to be able to dump some of the pain. Letting go of things...emptying them out...is a fantastic step to take toward allowing God to heal whatever it is that is broken in us.
This is a huge thing to me, especially when the topic of suicide is introduced. I've seen it take away too many people when it didn't have to. Please don't be one of them. I almost was in my teens, but God intervened. He can do the same for everyone here.
This is a huge thing to me, especially when the topic of suicide is introduced. I've seen it take away too many people when it didn't have to. Please don't be one of them. I almost was in my teens, but God intervened. He can do the same for everyone here.
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Duckies
Guest
Hello you beautiful souls, you are never alone and know that if i could i would go and give a hug to each one of you so that you know that you are loved and are always special to all of your brothers and sisters in Christ.
While i dont suffer from depression, i feel your pain and i can somewhat understand what you all are talking about because Jamie who i love with all my heart suffers from chronic depression, it destroyed me to see her like that... Very very much
Her depression caused her to step out of our marriage and then shortly after she ended our marriage while deep in her depression. She seems to out the blue have forgotten about God being there to help her, having me there to try and help her, and has decided to be by her self. This has ripped my soul apart, i feel so hopeless...she wont let me do anything else to help her and has forgotten that God can help her depression and our marriage ... I really wish she'd be able to see that the enemy of our Lord is also playing a part in this
Sorry if i went all out, i dont mean to make this sad, its been hard and depression is a horrible thing. Just know that our Lord Always!! Has a plan for you and believes in you! ...I! Believe in you, Never give up and stay strong with the Lord as you have, stay away from sin and the bad things so that you are not cheated by the enemy.
I trully pray for all of you and that you all remain strong in Christ. My tears of pain cannot describe how terrible this sickness affects people.
I Love You all and God Bless Your Souls! Amen.
While i dont suffer from depression, i feel your pain and i can somewhat understand what you all are talking about because Jamie who i love with all my heart suffers from chronic depression, it destroyed me to see her like that... Very very much
Her depression caused her to step out of our marriage and then shortly after she ended our marriage while deep in her depression. She seems to out the blue have forgotten about God being there to help her, having me there to try and help her, and has decided to be by her self. This has ripped my soul apart, i feel so hopeless...she wont let me do anything else to help her and has forgotten that God can help her depression and our marriage
... I really wish she'd be able to see that the enemy of our Lord is also playing a part in this Sorry if i went all out, i dont mean to make this sad, its been hard and depression is a horrible thing. Just know that our Lord Always!! Has a plan for you and believes in you! ...I! Believe in you, Never give up and stay strong with the Lord as you have, stay away from sin and the bad things so that you are not cheated by the enemy.
I trully pray for all of you and that you all remain strong in Christ. My tears of pain cannot describe how terrible this sickness affects people.
I Love You all and God Bless Your Souls!
Amen.
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Jullianna
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Jullianna
Guest
Yes, depression can be quite a horrible thing. I have met it face and face, as you conjectured, and singleness really can add to the problem (though I imagine marriage don't make it any less difficult)...
When it comes to me, yes, I have dealt and continue to deal with this state of being. Unfortunately for people like you and I Jules, it literally comes with our personality types (this is per certified psychologists/psychiatric that I've seen)...it's not a clinical or chemical imbalance for us, but just an adverse affect of who and how we are in life...
They way I've dealt with it can be doing something you love (which is music or nature for me, having fun, getting it out...), or it can be talking something (whether with professionals or just friends and family), of course...prayer is always good, and if we connect with God closely at some of those points, He helps subdue that sometimes...but mostly, I've just learned to live with it, really...to an extent, there's nothing else you can do in cases like mine... ^^0
Obviously that answers the are you fighting it now, and how do you handle it questions...lol...
Honestly, I've tried many things, but like I've done, so I'd advise anyone here struggling with this...don't bear it alone. Many hands make light work applies to our burdens and struggles in life as well, and especially 'slipping into the yoke' with God, allowing Him to share it with you...instead of trying to shoulder everything completely by yourself...
I'm both happy and sorry to tell you, we can't do it on our own. Believe me...I've tried... ^^0 I hope this helps at least a little, and anyone who wants to talk...check out my sig/profile so you can hit me up!
When it comes to me, yes, I have dealt and continue to deal with this state of being. Unfortunately for people like you and I Jules, it literally comes with our personality types (this is per certified psychologists/psychiatric that I've seen)...it's not a clinical or chemical imbalance for us, but just an adverse affect of who and how we are in life...
They way I've dealt with it can be doing something you love (which is music or nature for me, having fun, getting it out...), or it can be talking something (whether with professionals or just friends and family), of course...prayer is always good, and if we connect with God closely at some of those points, He helps subdue that sometimes...but mostly, I've just learned to live with it, really...to an extent, there's nothing else you can do in cases like mine... ^^0
Obviously that answers the are you fighting it now, and how do you handle it questions...lol...
Honestly, I've tried many things, but like I've done, so I'd advise anyone here struggling with this...don't bear it alone. Many hands make light work applies to our burdens and struggles in life as well, and especially 'slipping into the yoke' with God, allowing Him to share it with you...instead of trying to shoulder everything completely by yourself...
I'm both happy and sorry to tell you, we can't do it on our own. Believe me...I've tried... ^^0 I hope this helps at least a little, and anyone who wants to talk...check out my sig/profile so you can hit me up!
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blooms
Guest
Depression is demonic. I have been through it before to the point that I started masturbating just to help suppress my depression(so I thought) the more I masturbated, the more I got more depressed till I cried out to God. The Holyspirit filled my heart with His presence and now am better. I have mastered depression and when I feel it coming, I speak aloud to myself and get into God's word declaring his plans 4 my life. Total surrender to God is the only cure to depression. When we surrender our all to God,He becomes our everything and we think more about him than things that make us depressed. God bless us all.
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Ugly
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Ugly
Guest
Umm.... i.... think i won't respond to this. Not going to debate. Nope. Nuh uh. Keep my mouth shut. Yep. Keep it to myself. Hold it in! You can do it! Quick press quick reply before you say more... HURRY!..........
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DrivenByGod
Guest
Hi Jullianna, I'm new here. You bring up a very good topic. Thank you, some people forget their past as they live happily in the now! Then try to put others down, well not me! I previously dealt with depression. I hated being alone, I let my happiness depend on another being. After a cycle of being disappointed by everyone I depended on I thought long and hard about what I could do. Depression is no easy thing to deal with. Luckily I had someone to call for advice. Do you? Well, basically what I'm trying to get at...I turned my life over to God. I told him to have his way. Easier said than done...however, that's what I did. Over time of letting people go, letting go of the things that brought me down the most (miscarriage, being hurt, being alone, struggling) I released it to him. Now my focus is on God and living by his word. In order to have peace you have to free yourself of what's hurting you. I'm sorry if I'm preaching, just sharing my experience. When your focus is on God and living by his word, you don't think of pain, you just think how good God is. And what he has waiting on you is precious. But in order to get it, you have to let go. Don't get me wrong you'll still have a few days when you want to give up...I do! But when you look @ how far you've come and all the things you have to be grateful for...it won't be so easy to give in. Again I apologize if that isn't what you wanted to hear, but I'm Driven By God...I only do what is asked of me.
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Jullianna
Guest
I want to take only a moment to say that while, as Christians, we understand that depression is a result of the fall of mankind and recognize that it makes satan very happy to see us suffer, it seems that we need to be very careful about throwing around the word “demonic”, as it can leave people with the impression that brothers and sisters in Christ are demon possessed or something if they struggle with it. (wow…talk about a run on sentence 
) We also know that:
1. We ALL struggle with SOMETHING to one degree or another; and
2. Mighty people of God in scripture struggled with depression. The Psalms are full of David’s heartache. Jeremiah also comes to mind,as does Elijah. John the Baptist struggled in prison and needed encouragement from Jesus. Jesus wept over Jerusalem…and they were not tears of joy. Jesus dripped with sweat/blood as He struggled with what He was about to face. Peter was devastated over his denial of Christ. Pain/hurt/depression happensto godly people.
The Christian walk is TOUGH. We struggle. We have good times. We have bad times. We go through trials that kick the snot out of us at times. Some of them last for a very long time. We DO understand that He is the answer, that He is with us through it all (even though we can’t always see His hand) and that in the end we will be victorious in Him. Even so, some are still in the midst of the battle. This thread is for them. WE are here for them as the body of Christ. Please understand.
Please also understand that this thread is not for me. It is for those who are hurting, so don’t worry about whether you are posting what I need to hear or not. Post what is prayerfully on your heart. God bless you for it! <3
P.S. - Welcome to CC all you new folks! It's great to see new people sharing here! Pull up a chair and get comfy!
) We also know that: 1. We ALL struggle with SOMETHING to one degree or another; and
2. Mighty people of God in scripture struggled with depression. The Psalms are full of David’s heartache. Jeremiah also comes to mind,as does Elijah. John the Baptist struggled in prison and needed encouragement from Jesus. Jesus wept over Jerusalem…and they were not tears of joy. Jesus dripped with sweat/blood as He struggled with what He was about to face. Peter was devastated over his denial of Christ. Pain/hurt/depression happensto godly people.
The Christian walk is TOUGH. We struggle. We have good times. We have bad times. We go through trials that kick the snot out of us at times. Some of them last for a very long time. We DO understand that He is the answer, that He is with us through it all (even though we can’t always see His hand) and that in the end we will be victorious in Him. Even so, some are still in the midst of the battle. This thread is for them. WE are here for them as the body of Christ. Please understand.
Please also understand that this thread is not for me. It is for those who are hurting, so don’t worry about whether you are posting what I need to hear or not. Post what is prayerfully on your heart. God bless you for it! <3
P.S. - Welcome to CC all you new folks! It's great to see new people sharing here!
Pull up a chair and get comfy!
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dashadow
Guest
People are often hesitant to express the challenges they face because of fear of being judged. If we admit our struggles, we feel or others make us feel we are somehow unworthy. Obviously, having a strong relationship with God is vitally important. But it's also very important to have people who know and love us to lean on in times of struggle.
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Jullianna
Guest
Exactly, dashadow. AMEN! That is exactly what we want to guard against in this thread. It is my prayer that any and all high horse riders who want the rest of us to believe that the Christian life is a bed of roses will just ride on by.
Jesus never promised us this. In fact, He said in John 16:33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
We may be down for a season, but if we stop to nurse the hurting...pray for and encourage the wounded...we will be overcomers.
[video=youtube;6J-yd2aYMz8]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6J-yd2aYMz8[/video]
Never been "depressed" dont believe in it. and ive always been single.
I just don't let things I can't change bother me.
I just don't let things I can't change bother me.
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Robbinette
Guest
Yes I get depressed sometimes but I think its more of a female thing because it's usually worse around certain times of the month. Like I was watching The Notebook last night and I was weepy through the whole thing because I knew how it was going to end and it tears me up each time. So my Mom knocked on my door and she was like what is going on are you okay? I was like its The Notebook and they are about to die together Mom (sob sob weep weep) and its a sobfest in here and its about to get rough. She was like okay I'll come back later. And of course even afterwards I was still weepy cause I was like what if I don't find somebody to love me like Noah loves Allie even in their old age? What if we don't die together? (which of course we probably wont) So after I cried last night and gave myself a pity party I'm good today I just needed to get it out of my system. Maybe it's just a girl thing but I am not ashamed that I cry like a 2 year old every time I see The Notebook and as a single person also I am usually 2x depressed afterwards, but its so sweet I can't help it...
Jullianna,
Thank you so much for showing so much compassion and caring over a very sensitive subject.
I've struggled with depression since childhood and have done all the rounds with counselors and medications, etc.
And have received all the good Christian criticism because of it. ("If you had enough faith, you wouldn't need doctors or medication!")
After my suicide attempt, a "Christian" lady told me, "If you're trying to kill yourself, you're not a Christian."
I think of Matthew Warren (Rick Warren's son) and often wonder if he felt he had to hide his condition because of his father's enormous ministry (which, ironically, specialized in finding one's purpose for life and living it out.) I read a statement from the family saying that he had been to the best doctors, pastors, and specialists and had received the best care available.
My heart really breaks for this young man who was surrounded by God and Godly people but still saw nothing but darkness.
I can all too well relate. Paul wrote that it was better to be with the Lord than to remain here--and I very much agree. I just often wish that God gave us a choice as to when we could go.
Thank you so much for showing so much compassion and caring over a very sensitive subject.
I've struggled with depression since childhood and have done all the rounds with counselors and medications, etc.
And have received all the good Christian criticism because of it. ("If you had enough faith, you wouldn't need doctors or medication!")
After my suicide attempt, a "Christian" lady told me, "If you're trying to kill yourself, you're not a Christian."
I think of Matthew Warren (Rick Warren's son) and often wonder if he felt he had to hide his condition because of his father's enormous ministry (which, ironically, specialized in finding one's purpose for life and living it out.) I read a statement from the family saying that he had been to the best doctors, pastors, and specialists and had received the best care available.
My heart really breaks for this young man who was surrounded by God and Godly people but still saw nothing but darkness.
I can all too well relate. Paul wrote that it was better to be with the Lord than to remain here--and I very much agree. I just often wish that God gave us a choice as to when we could go.
Wow...to you, Seoul, and several others...I not only hear you, but relate. ^^ Seriously...it's strange to say, but just the knowledge that you're not alone (I know we're never alone, because the Holy Spirit is with us, but I'm talking about people right now...) in such struggles is comforting, ya know?
I always found it tragic/ironically humorous that some of the 'the world' (ungodly people) had so much acceptance, forgiveness, and community to offer...yet we, as the church, (not specifically to anyone, but buy & large) seem to furthering people sufferings...
In fact, I've dealt a lot with suicide in other lives and even once before in my own. Christ's message of love, hope, acceptance, and forgiveness is exactly what everyone needs! (especially in those cases)...so then why do some of us preach damnation? Lol...I'm pretty sure everyone's been thoroughly schooled in that... ^^0
In fact, on the topic of suicide, I think of a song (a secular song) that I can identify/relate to:
The Spill Canvas - Self Conclusion (Lyrics) - YouTube
This person actually convinces her to live, rather than condemning her for wanting to die...
In any case, know that God loves you (everyone), and not like the world loves you, but in ways that other people might judge you for. He'll never turn you away. We're all messed up, but God loves and wants us anyway, so don't run from Him! ^^ Seriously...if you gain anything from knowing me at all...gain that God is real, and you need Him...more than anything else...
...yet, when you are in God, you'll soon learn that He's ALL ABOUT others...so don't shut people out either. We all need each other. We all need God. He wants us to be so.
I always found it tragic/ironically humorous that some of the 'the world' (ungodly people) had so much acceptance, forgiveness, and community to offer...yet we, as the church, (not specifically to anyone, but buy & large) seem to furthering people sufferings...
In fact, I've dealt a lot with suicide in other lives and even once before in my own. Christ's message of love, hope, acceptance, and forgiveness is exactly what everyone needs! (especially in those cases)...so then why do some of us preach damnation? Lol...I'm pretty sure everyone's been thoroughly schooled in that... ^^0
In fact, on the topic of suicide, I think of a song (a secular song) that I can identify/relate to:
The Spill Canvas - Self Conclusion (Lyrics) - YouTube
This person actually convinces her to live, rather than condemning her for wanting to die...
In any case, know that God loves you (everyone), and not like the world loves you, but in ways that other people might judge you for. He'll never turn you away. We're all messed up, but God loves and wants us anyway, so don't run from Him! ^^ Seriously...if you gain anything from knowing me at all...gain that God is real, and you need Him...more than anything else...
...yet, when you are in God, you'll soon learn that He's ALL ABOUT others...so don't shut people out either. We all need each other. We all need God. He wants us to be so.
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Dawter
Guest
I don't think the Dark Night of the Soul has anything to do with being single but it's what I went through.
"The Dark Night of the Soul is so named because when it hits you, all the light in your life is extinguished. The progress you were making stops. The connection you felt to God is severed. There is nothing you can do to regain it, and you can't go back and start over. Everywhere you turn, there's a wall. You're in a bubble of misery, unable to articulate what's wrong, and feeling isolated, abandoned, and dead inside. Nothing inspires. Everything hurts. Depression hits, and at a level you may have never experienced before. Efforts to change things, to progress with anything at all, fail. Relationships suffer. Work suffers. Life is reduced to a routine, colorless existence." Exactly.
"The Dark Night of the Soul is so named because when it hits you, all the light in your life is extinguished. The progress you were making stops. The connection you felt to God is severed. There is nothing you can do to regain it, and you can't go back and start over. Everywhere you turn, there's a wall. You're in a bubble of misery, unable to articulate what's wrong, and feeling isolated, abandoned, and dead inside. Nothing inspires. Everything hurts. Depression hits, and at a level you may have never experienced before. Efforts to change things, to progress with anything at all, fail. Relationships suffer. Work suffers. Life is reduced to a routine, colorless existence." Exactly.