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A
THANK U. Where do i start! okay.... here's my reason ... (though there r many other things troubling me, leading me to depression but this one is taking control of me). I'm engaged(betrothed) to a believer. I was happy because i always wanted to marry someone who put JESUS first. I dreamt of leading a Godly life with my hubby, To raise children in Christ. He is one such person. But.... i feel he doesn't love me (he is cordial) and so i feel if we get married we may end up arguing, fighting and hurting each other. At the same time I also feel may be he doesn't know how to express. The bible says Love is patient, enduring, etc, etc and that being betrothed means its a covenant made and to break it, it has to go through a process - a divorce is required. I Don't know how all this works in today's world. I don't want to break this engagement but he doesn't love me and i dont want to marry someone who doesn't love me... and the bible says love is to not expect anything in return. But it hurts when he doesn't call or reply my msgs. I'm sooo confused. I donno wat to do. I have thoughts like we will not be happy when married. Divorce is not an option for me if our marriage won't work, at the same time I don't want to be hurt for years and years. I just want to get over this. Both of us prayed if it is God's will for us to become one, but God is not answering us. To be patient is extremely difficult for me now. All I think is our marriage will hurt our parents and us. Please pray for us to take the right decision and most importantly obey God.
The fact that you deliberately sought out 'Depression chat sites" tells us that you will remain in that mode as long as you seek it. DID you ever think that perhaps seeking out something NOT DEPRESSIVE just might be the ticket to crawl out of your rut? Wonder what would have happenif you sought out "Volunteering in your community" or "USING MUSIC to reach others" or "Sharing CHRIST to a lost world" or "Getting over stagefright" or "How to influence and win friends" etc.? You've got to think outside of your box in order to get out of the box.
B
Just remember you are married to Christ or god. That marriage begins in your heart and soul( soul or heart). Just trust your inner you. If that's telling you not to go on with the marriage thing don't. To not be depressed will help everyone and not just you. I wish you the best amyy. Sometimes people will say don't be afraid to ask questions or seek something out and the person told that will say yeah and knod their head but they really don't. I say really do!! That's what god would want.