~Chuckle for the Day~

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Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,739
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I hope that dog bit those humans who were laughing. Poor thing!
 

powderman

Active member
Apr 22, 2020
228
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"Mr. Goldblatt," announced little Joey, "there's something I can't figure out."
"What's that, Joey?" asked Goldblatt.
"Well, according to the Bible, the Children of Israel crossed the Red Sea, right?"
"Right."
"And the Children of Israel beat up the Phillistines, right?"
"Er, right."
"And the Children of Israel built the Temple, right?"
"Again you're right."
"And the Children of Israel fought the Egyptians, and the Children of Israel fought the Romans
and the Children of Israel were always doing something important, right?"
"All that is right, too," agreed Goldblatt. "So what's your question?"
"What were all the grown-ups doing?"
 

powderman

Active member
Apr 22, 2020
228
90
28
A while back I read a story of a visiting pastor who attended a men's breakfast in the middle of a rural farming area of the country.
The group had asked an ol...der farmer, decked out in bib overalls, to say grace for the morning breakfast.
"Lord, I hate buttermilk", the farmer began. The visiting pastor opened one eye to glance at the farmer and wonder where this was going. The farmer loudly proclaimed, "Lord, I hate lard."

Now the pastor was
growing concerned. Without missing a beat, the farmer continued, "And Lord, you know I
don't much care for raw white flour". The pastor once again opened an
eye to glance around the room and saw that he wasn't the only one to
feel uncomfortable.

Then the farmer added, "But Lord, when you mix them all together and
bake them, I do love warm fresh biscuits. So Lord, when things come up that we don't like, when life gets hard, when we don't understand what you're saying to us, help us to just relax and wait until you are done mixing. It will probably be even better than biscuits Amen."

Within that prayer there is great wisdom for all when it comes to
complicated situations like we are experiencing in the world today.
Stay strong, my friends, because our LORD is mixing several things
that we don't really care for, but something even better is going to
come when HE is done with it. AMEN
 

powderman

Active member
Apr 22, 2020
228
90
28
Years ago when my two girls were small, they were taught how to say their blessing before eating their meal.
One night as I was busy scurrying around the kitchen, I told them both to stay their blessings without me.
I took a moment to watch them as they both squeezed their eyes tightly shut over folded hands.
As my 4-year-old finished, her 3-year-old sister kept on praying.
Another minute or two passed before she lifted her head, looked at her plate,
and in an indignant voice said, Hey! My peas are still here
 

powderman

Active member
Apr 22, 2020
228
90
28
TRUE story. When I was a pup many years ago I always went to Bible School. Brother Sparling was the Pastor there and Not really known for joking around, I thought.
WE were outside at recess drinking our kool ade and eating cookies. I was happily eating a windmill cookie, with a hole in the middle and drinking my red kool ade. Bro Sparling came up behind me and whispered in my ear, IF YOU EAT THAT HOLE, YOU WILL SURELY DIE. He then turned and walked away without saying a word. I did NOT eat that hole and don't think I ever ate another windmill cookie that I can remember.