DISABILITIES: HOW DO YOU COPE WITH YOURS??

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Apr 28, 2010
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atlantic Canada
I was born premature 4 months early. My mom was attacked walking home from the library a guy came up and attacked her and she went into labour. She lived in Mississaga, Ontario and the hospital there didn't have equipment for babies born early so she took a bus and 2 subways to go to hospital in Toronto where they had the equipment. The doctors tried to stop the labour and a week later I was born. I was supposed to be born April 3rd 1985 I was born Dec 3 1984 and I weighed 1 pound and 6 ounces at birth. The man that attacked my mom was never caught which is scary to think about. I was in a incubator for 6 months. I grew up with a learning disability don't know the name and was in different school programs to help me to learn how to read and write better. I love to read now but the classes I had in high school the work was made so I could understand it better. I didn't do the same work as everybody else because I couldn't understand it. I would love to go to college but I'm afraid I wouldn't know how to understand the work. My reading level is grade 7. I'm very bad at math and science those are my worst subjects. My learning disability now I don't understand things right away and you don't know I have one unless I tell you. I would love to get married one day but guys just don't want to get to know me once I tell them and they seem to want a more "normal" girl.

I cope with my disability the best I can. I have a low soft voice and sometimes the customers at my work make fun of my voice and make fun of my height and call me a midget even though I'm 4'10''
 
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blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
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Becky, thanks for sharing. :) You don't need to tell people of your disability, especially prospective boyfriends. If they can't accept you as you are, then they don't deserve you. Just hold your head high and ignore those who make fun of you.
 

peacenik

Senior Member
May 11, 2016
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I am partly learning disabled, dyslexic, and have a poor memory - this due to repeated head injuries suffered as an abused child. In the old days teachers did not know what learning disability was so that when I repeated certain mistakes, they would routinely call me "stupid" in front of the class and cause me much embarrassment. I'm sure that if any lived long enough to become aware of what learning disability is most of them would regret that they ever said or did anything like that to me.

I coped the best possible by working twice or thrice as hard as anyone else. I graduated from high school and college with high honors, and was in the honor role in law school. Alas, I never found any use for my two worthless degrees so that all that effort was in vain.
 

Marcelo

Senior Member
Feb 4, 2016
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My 27-year-old son was born with spina bifida and was able to walk (with some difficulty) until age 24. Then, gradually he lost the capacity to walk and today he is in a wheelchair. I can say he is the happiest wheelchair user I've ever seen! He does Tai Chi Chuan (adapted for his disability), plays the guitar, plays wheelchair basketball, drives our adapted car, works at IBM, and goes out on weekends with his friends. The source of most of our problems are in our minds. I thank God for his sound mind!
 

Marcelo

Senior Member
Feb 4, 2016
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Now I'm gonna talk about my daughter: She was born a perfectly healthy baby. Until age 12 she was OK, but slowly depression took over her life. Life doesn't appeal to her, but thank God death doesn't either.

My wife and I have two big problems to cope with, but thank God that doesn't prevent us from being happy. All my brothers have very successful married children, while we have two kids who still depend on us in many ways. Thank God we are Christians and are not competing with the world. Our home is not here on Earth.
 
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jb1616

Guest
osteogenesis imperfecta here, with two side dishes of scoliosis and arthritis. i'm just keeping on keeping on the best i can. thanking Jesus every day i wake up.
 
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verysadgirl

Guest
I admire all disabled people and I have to say to all of them - never give up !!!!! God bless you all.
 
Jun 24, 2012
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Hi i haven't got a disability but you never know what's going to happen i could get one in future so i always appreciate what i have. But if i did have one i would use my faith and knowing you can have friends and family to help. I have been though bad times and struggled just like anybody else but you always pull though with determination and of course your faith. So i would still appreciate what i would have.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
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Hi i haven't got a disability but you never know what's going to happen i could get one in future so i always appreciate what i have. But if i did have one i would use my faith and knowing you can have friends and family to help. I have been though bad times and struggled just like anybody else but you always pull though with determination and of course your faith. So i would still appreciate what i would have.

Amen, Cassie.. amen.. :)
 
Mar 1, 2016
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I had expected a number of posts replying to me that would have tried to explain to me that suffering that is endured by non-Christians is nothing compared to the suffering suffered by Christians.

It is to everybody's credit that these expected posts did not materialise. The fact that there are no replies to my post has surprised me. Does Christianity or Christians have nothing to say about disability, suffering or pain. Prosperity gospel TV evangelists have a great deal to say, mostly along the lines of "you are still sick/disabled/suffering or in pain because you still haven't given me all your money yet". In the UK these guys and dolls are not allowed to ask for money on TV, as least not yet, as the general consensus is that they are "Snake Oil Salesmen" or if you fail to understand the reference they are considered charlatans.

To say nothing is probably to your credit as most studies see no difference between people of faith or no faith and any difference being negative for those of faith as they worried that their "time had come".

I like many people do not fear death, though I do not seek it as I still have a few things to do. I do fear the pain that I might suffer before I die though even that is receding with the rather extended length of time I have spent taking painkillers and as I have learned a great deal about chronic pain both by living through it and by having contact with the Pain Management Program of https://www.thewaltoncentre.nhs.uk/112/pain-management-programme-PMP.html The Walton Centre.

I know people that, like me, suffer from chronic pain. Some of these people are Christians and some not. It seems to me, on a limited poll, that the Christians seem very disappointed that their prayers have not be answered whereas the non-Christians just get on with it.

While I acknowledge that if there was a God he would be irresponsible if he suspended the natural laws of the uni(multi)verse in order to answer the billions upon billions of prayers that he/she/it receives. To answer these prayers with anything but a firm "NO" would create absolute chaos. Now here is my question. Why do Christians fail to understand why their prayers are not answered whereas non-Christians understand only too readily.

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I am not being flippant. I am trying very hard not to be disrespectful as while I have no respect for the beliefs of people here I do respect the fact people here value them greatly. When I argue I will argue against the content of the debate and though I may have occasional lapses my disrespect will be against what people argue rather than the people themselves.
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Regards

Heretic
 
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jb1616

Guest
Let me just say that its proly because of my from birth disease that i wasn't beaten to a pulp or worse on several occasions. So with that in mind i actually thank God for my disability now. Hasn't always been that way though.
 
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EOLS

Guest
I have two disabilities:

High-Functioning Autism: Once formerly known as 'Asperger's Syndrome Disorder', its name has been abolished and it is now simply called 'autism' along with the other types of autism spectrum disorders. It's a bit too long to try to explain here, and since it is a spectrum disorder it affects everyone who has it differently . . . so what I try to explain might not fully apply to myself, or fully explain how it influences others who have it.

Synesthesia: Synesthesia is very interesting; it is a neurological condition which comes in different types. I would suggest reading about its two most well-known and beautiful types, Grapheme-Color Synesthesia and Chromesthesia. However, the kind that I have is not a well-known or desirable kind of synesthesia; I have Misophonia. Misophonia causes certain sounds (it varies for each individual with Misophonia) to automatically trigger the 'fight or flight' response; for myself, when I hear a trigger sound it is the 'fight' response which is triggered. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am one of the quietest, most laid-back, and gentlest people around . . . but when the Misophonia is provoked by a trigger sound, irrational rage immediately flashes into existence and it takes a lot of willpower to force myself not to physically assault whoever or whatever is creating that trigger sound in order to silence it. I know it is irrational and I know what is happening, but I can not make the rage and violent aggression end until the sound itself is gone (I usually remove myself from the area). I know how to avoid encountering the trigger sounds but sometimes they can not be avoided; it is a rather exhausting experience. It is not something I usually discuss, as quite a lot of people do not believe Misophonia or Synesthesia to be real.

How do I cope? I simply live. It is what it is, and I accept that they are a part of my life. I don't flaunt either of them around and I don't identify with most of the people who exclaim "autistic and proud", because I just see my autism as being normal in a different way. With the Misophonia, I just try to avoid scenarios where I will be exposed to the trigger sounds . . . but unfortunately, I can't always. During those times, I just grit my teeth and sit on my hands to prevent myself from saying or doing anything until it is over . . . though it always feels like I am having to pull on a tight leash around my neck to keep myself in place until the trigger sound is gone.

Truthfully, other people have been more concerned about my autism than I am. I have had multiple professors at my college tell me I should "pray to be healed" . . . when I do not see myself as being sick, weak, or hurt in any fashion whatsoever. It's deeply wounding to me when someone seems to think that I am damaged goods, and tells me to tell God to take my brain away and give me a better one by their standards . . . but I try to shrug it off.

What does tickle me a bit, though, is this: I have never asked God to remove my autism or make it 'better'. I've always just figured that I wasn't a mistake, and that He knew what He was doing when He allowed me to be born just a wee bit eccentric compared to 'normal' people. The only thing I asked Him was, "My heart is in Your hands; please mold me into who you want me to be." After that, I started noticing that the effects of the autism were beginning to lessen . . . and then other people, including those who I did not know very well, began telling me that there were changes happening. I started being able to read facial expressions, tones of voice, and body language . . . and pick up on hints and cues I had been unable to before. Plus more. He, without my asking Him to, decided to begin working on my mind to fashion it to where He wants it to be (and He is still in the process of it); I've noticed that He has been letting me keep the strengths of the autism (a different way of thinking and perceiving, the child-like joy and silliness, the sense of wonder, deep empathy [some people say folks with Asperger's have no empathy; that is false], lack of shame in being who I am), and He has been lessening and removing the weaknesses of the autism . . . while also gifting me with cognitive abilities folks without autism have. It is a blessing to me, and I am grateful to Him for it; He always knows best.
 
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DzzRae

Guest
Miss mar09,

Are you Deaf? If so, thank you!! This is something the hearing would needs to understand. While I can not identify with you; I can relate. My daughter {who is not 26} is Deaf. She is very vocal, intelligent, and worked since she was a year old to 'speech/lip read'; though she received hearing aids for her first bday; they did not 'restore' her hearing. For she has a sensory neurological loss in both ears. She is living a very fulling life: going to college, raising two beautiful children of her own.
I was amazed as I started learning years ago that there were just as many different Sing Languages as spoken ones.
If you are Deaf, may I ask how you have coped with it in the world? My daughter still struggles with certain things and I am curious to know if you have any wisdom to pass on to her and her young family, who are all Deaf.
Thank you and respectfully,
Rayleene
 

mar09

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2014
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Hi rayleene,
No, i am not. It is good to hear abt ur daughter. just passed on the link thinking there are so many ppl we need to understand. I am a bit soft spoken however, so i know how it is not to be heard-). When dealing w/ ppl with impaired hearing, i have tried to lip read some times too, instead of repeating a question a third time, when i didnt get the ans. the 2nd time i asked. Or when i see others talk from a distance, i try to figure out what was said, by lookin at the lips.. I cannot give much tips, but in fact when it's others who cannot hear or understand right away, i think, why wont he read my lips?! Oh, i did take a course on special ed, although i do not seem to be utilizing much of what was learned, and being of help to the persons w/ disabilities.

Talking abt spying/eavesdropping tho, idk but cannot always watch what the children are watching. (Someties theres just something to do, the film is too recent and also too rough for me, i am tired and sleepy earlier... but i can hear what they watch even to 11pm, 12 or 1 am esp now its summer break yet. Wish i wasnt so sensitive to sounds-).
 
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Yahweh_is_gracious

Guest
Some people might consider Asperger's Syndrome a disability. I mean, I am on the Autism Spectrum, so I guess it qualifies.

How do I deal with it? One day at a time. One task at a time.

I had a lot of therapists and counselors growing up, but that was before people knew much about Autism other than to toss the large majority of kids with it into the special needs classroom. Thankfully since I have Asperger's, I am high functioning, so school work was never a problem for me, and as long as I kept to myself and didn't try to interact with others much, then my peculiarities wouldn't manifest. I was even able to serve in the military with my Asperger's. As I've aged, it's never gotten any easier to interact with people or to understand the complexities of emotions and how people communicate - especially things like people joking with each other and such. Those things just completely evade me. Much like love. I can give you a dictionary definition of love, but I couldn't explain it in terms of my own "feelings" about it. It's a construct. Another equation to be solved. Nice though being my age and at my education level with Asperger's...I can be that eccentric professor that nobody bothers and I can surround myself with white board after white board of equations and do my research.
 
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red_love

Guest
I have an internal disability, meaning, that it's not able to be seen.
I have Pulmonary Hypertension - and yes, I'd love to be healed from it. It sucks haha.

You could never tell that inside I'm a wounded animal -- when I do hard activities.

I cope by belief in God.
I cope with my family and keeping my mind healthy.
I cope by using Scripture to help me.
I cope by using faith and actions.

I cope because I know I should be in a wheelchair or dead, but I'm well and fighting with God's help.

I ain't perfect, but I serve a Perfect God.
 
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Bugs2

Guest
I was diagnosed with OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) with some other pretty serious anxiety disorders. It's hard for tons of reasons, but one reason is because people can't usually see it, so they think I am fine when I am not:( Family members basically dismiss it, and think I'm lazy or whatever because I still live at home and I don't get out much. It's tough. To say the least. I have 2 people that help me through, day by day. Sometimes minute by minute. And of course, Jesus is ALWAYS there!:)❤️Still tough, but I try to hang in there.