Going through a seperation
- Thread starter DeanoAlberta
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Glad I could help!
What exactly would encourage you?
You wanted to know if anyone has gone through separation. I have, and my best advice is for you to get a lawyer.
Women absolutely leave.... when they have somewhere to go.
Women will manipulate you. If you want the marriage back, they will hold that out as a carrot..... get you to agree to give up the farm.
What exactly would encourage you?
You wanted to know if anyone has gone through separation. I have, and my best advice is for you to get a lawyer.
Women absolutely leave.... when they have somewhere to go.
Women will manipulate you. If you want the marriage back, they will hold that out as a carrot..... get you to agree to give up the farm.
You asked if anyone has gone through separation. I have, and that's my experience.
I could have just replied "I have" and never posted another word. What would be the point?
Nearly two years ago, I came on this thread, posting about my wife leaving me. Some people blew sunshine up my butt, some said they would pray, a couple told the truth. I thought the ones telling the truth were complete jerks. Now I wonder what the ones who prayed, were praying for. I know now, God doesn't change anyone's mind.... he refuses to.
My experience with separation is mine, and true. The only people I have ever seen reconcile a broken marriage, is in movies. My experience has left me not trusting a word that comes out a woman's mouth. Maybe one will change my mind one day, I doubt it.
Everyday, someone starts a thread on their broken marriage. I have yet to read anyone get their wife back after she leaves.
I thought I could do the love dare, read a dozen Christian books, see a marriage counselor alone, cause she refused to go, and pray my marriage back together. I begged, pleaded, bought flowers and presents.... nothing. She used all that to her advantage, to get me to agree to her terms. Now I have to pay her a portion of my salary and my future retirement, until the day I die. All this while another man lays with her each night.
Mental illness, yeah, mine had that too. And it won't make a difference to the court that divides up your money.
You don't have to stop loving her, but you have to let go. My best advice.... get a lawyer.
I could have just replied "I have" and never posted another word. What would be the point?
Nearly two years ago, I came on this thread, posting about my wife leaving me. Some people blew sunshine up my butt, some said they would pray, a couple told the truth. I thought the ones telling the truth were complete jerks. Now I wonder what the ones who prayed, were praying for. I know now, God doesn't change anyone's mind.... he refuses to.
My experience with separation is mine, and true. The only people I have ever seen reconcile a broken marriage, is in movies. My experience has left me not trusting a word that comes out a woman's mouth. Maybe one will change my mind one day, I doubt it.
Everyday, someone starts a thread on their broken marriage. I have yet to read anyone get their wife back after she leaves.
I thought I could do the love dare, read a dozen Christian books, see a marriage counselor alone, cause she refused to go, and pray my marriage back together. I begged, pleaded, bought flowers and presents.... nothing. She used all that to her advantage, to get me to agree to her terms. Now I have to pay her a portion of my salary and my future retirement, until the day I die. All this while another man lays with her each night.
Mental illness, yeah, mine had that too. And it won't make a difference to the court that divides up your money.
You don't have to stop loving her, but you have to let go. My best advice.... get a lawyer.
Going through a separation and possibly divorce is a pretty tough thing, DeanoAlberta. I'm sorry you're being subjected to this. Perhaps your wife will get out on her own for a while, and then realize that's not what she actually wanted. I've never been though that experience, so take my advice with a grain of salt: But I'd encourage you to keep in contact with her, be supportive when you speak with her, and let her know that'd you would welcome her back (if that's what you want, that is).
Thoughts and prayers sent your way
Thoughts and prayers sent your way
you situation is very sad indeed - do you have an idea of how much you love her or if
she loves you anymore? it really should be obvious after being together for so long...
I would remember that a separation is not a 'license' to hook-up with another,
although many do this for many reasons...
the only thing that can help you at this time, is to seek The Lord's Word on this matter,
and you will find solace in His Love for you and for your wife...
GBY both...
she loves you anymore? it really should be obvious after being together for so long...
I would remember that a separation is not a 'license' to hook-up with another,
although many do this for many reasons...
the only thing that can help you at this time, is to seek The Lord's Word on this matter,
and you will find solace in His Love for you and for your wife...
GBY both...
T
I guess I am one with mental issues. Thanks for letting me know, Tommy!
Separation is hard. And divorce is even harder. I guess you have sought the Lord in this, you have cried your heart out, you have tried to figure out why..... and often it just doesn't make sense.
I can't say much to encourage you, but there will be better days and worse days. In time the better days will outnumber the bad ones. Just know God is close to the broken hearted and you are not alone.
I will pray for you.
Separation is hard. And divorce is even harder. I guess you have sought the Lord in this, you have cried your heart out, you have tried to figure out why..... and often it just doesn't make sense.
I can't say much to encourage you, but there will be better days and worse days. In time the better days will outnumber the bad ones. Just know God is close to the broken hearted and you are not alone.
I will pray for you.
It happens. There has to be a reason for her doing this. What led up to it? This may require a lot of self-reflection on your part to see what, if anything you can change about yourself, with the grace of God and determination on your part. Then again, maybe its all her fault. In this case it will require forgiveness on your part. Your wife walked out for a reason, either she has issues, you have issues, or you both have issues. For starters, I recommend a lot of prayer.
Welcome, DeanoAlberta,
I've been through this. My ex had mental health issues, and trauma. There wasn't another man until after the separation, as far as I know.
I would encourage you to sign up for the daily devotional from DivorceCare.org. I would also encourage you to contact a lawyer, especially if you have children. Don't make the mistake I did, and find out too late what rights and responsibilities you have.
Neither means that a divorce will happen, but good information is always valuable. I would also encourage you to contact a professional Christian counselor; most pastors don't have the training to deal with these issues.
Above all, lean on Jesus. Ask Him for healing, input, and correction (none of us is innocent!).
I've been through this. My ex had mental health issues, and trauma. There wasn't another man until after the separation, as far as I know.
I would encourage you to sign up for the daily devotional from DivorceCare.org. I would also encourage you to contact a lawyer, especially if you have children. Don't make the mistake I did, and find out too late what rights and responsibilities you have.
Neither means that a divorce will happen, but good information is always valuable. I would also encourage you to contact a professional Christian counselor; most pastors don't have the training to deal with these issues.
Above all, lean on Jesus. Ask Him for healing, input, and correction (none of us is innocent!).
I have seen reconciliation and it happens. Many hope for healing and do not get it. Then, do we stop praying when we go to a doctor? Likewise, do not give up on seeking God. We don't seek God to get our way; rather, we are honest with him about our desires. However, no matter our interests, we are to submit our will to God's.
Christ is the example here. He literally died before seeing his prayer for the disciples' unity to be answered. But we have a Hope that does not bend to the will of man. And yet Christ became the sacrifice for our relationship with God to be restored-- even possible.
So..
I hope the Lord reaches your wife in His time, but I also pray that it will be sooner than later.
In the meantime, grow in God, forgive and prepare to forgive. Just like when she was with you, trust Him to work on each of your hearts.
Christ is the example here. He literally died before seeing his prayer for the disciples' unity to be answered. But we have a Hope that does not bend to the will of man. And yet Christ became the sacrifice for our relationship with God to be restored-- even possible.
So..
I hope the Lord reaches your wife in His time, but I also pray that it will be sooner than later.
In the meantime, grow in God, forgive and prepare to forgive. Just like when she was with you, trust Him to work on each of your hearts.