got a question for the men - modesty

I have two questions in particular.

Girls and sleeveless shirts - for or against? I'm not talking spaghetti strap, just sleeveless.

Girls and mid-thigh shorts - for or against? I'm not talking short shorts, or burmuda. But right in the middle with at least a 5 inch inseam.

Are these pushing the modesty limits or are they okay?

Sorry for posting on here (since I'm a girl), but this could actually be very helpful....to see what would help you guys out. With...you know...the whole visual thing. So thanks for this thread.

The issue is not the sleeves or the length of the shorts, but how tight and revealing the cloths are. It is when (to put it bluntly) the cloths are so tight that a guys doesn't need to use his imagination that is the real problem.

Thanks guys!

I just completed two years of Master's Commission. At my school, we can't wear sleeveless and shorts have to come close to the knee. The reason for it was my pastor surveyed the guys and found out they were distracted by shoulders and shorter shorts. But you're right. Tightness plays a big factor. That could have been the issue. But I would like to hear from more guys so I get a larger percentage of pros/cons.

Yes, men have to learn to control themselves but I am more than willing to help out. I do not want to be a stumbling block to my brothers.

I don't mind covering shoulders when I'm outside. I burn too easily. ^_^
And if the shorts are baggy, it doesn't make a difference to me how long they are. They're still cooler.

But I do have shorter shorts. So my questions are in respect to my brothers, not in seeing how much I can get away with.

I think you should not project (judge) your idea of modesty on the modesty of others

if they get distracted by shoulders they need a though course in self discipline! How on earth can they get distracted bu that? *sighs* some guys can be so strange!

haha...YES! At my high school, we weren't allowed to show shoulders at all, so my friends and I used to joke about our sexy shoulders. My goodness. I think if shoulders can do it, anything can.

Actually, when women was forbidden from showing her arms, seeing a women arm was highly sexual...
And this pattern repeats, what makes men desire women, is what they usually CANNOT see.

I for example, find more "attention disruption" some tight sexy clothes, than a actually naked women. I saw some naked people, to me, naked people is that: naked people. So, if I see a naked woman, I usually don't get excited.

But, in my college for example, I saw a girl using absurdly high-heel boots, a really tiny skirt, and no panties. This one attract my attention a lot, not because she was more gorgeous than average (in fact, she was really gorgeous), but because the way that she clothed, actually was meant to attract attention, and it worked.

So I think that it depends on context, culture, and other things.

But one thing that DO bother me, is girls below 13, wearing sexy clothing, it is even disturbing... (it is like: why a 8 years old girl, is wearing thongs, mini-skirt, top and high-heels? ?!?!?)

i feel very strongly about men telling women how to dress

I think drawing arbitrary lines is not the way to approach this

if a girl stands in front of a mirror and says to herself -"THIS will stop them in their tracks - then she will just have to cope with unwanted attention"

A girls is entitled to dress in a way that feels comfortable and it is the guys who will have to deal with it


there are extremes of this all over the world where women variously have to wear burkas, of have their heads shaved, or wear uniforms or wear shallots all because some guy has a problem

it is his problem - let him deal with it

wow... ya'll don't have any slack for the guys, huh?

your comments are no help to me or them.

we're human. we sin. i wouldn't mind some help in that area and i bet there's some guys out there that wouldn't mind either.
simple comments like "no, i'm not attracted to shoulders." are what i'm looking for, not men-bashing ones.

I think modesty has to do with not getting as close to the line as possible, but staying as far from the line as possible.

Men do need to control their thoughts and themselves, but women also need to respect their own bodies and honor God with them.

Paul said this in 1 Corinthians 8:9, Be careful, however, that the exercise of your freedom does not become a stumbling block to the weak.

Something can be viewed as no big deal, or not sinful to one person, but if it causes another person to stumble for whatever reason, and we know this, then we are sinning if we cause that person to stumble in their faith.

ok I will join the dots for you....


different men have trouble with the following

a girl with her natural hair

wearing slacks

wearing shorts

showing her face

showing her ankles

showing her hands

showing her arms

showing her shoulders

being in public on her own

speaking to men they are not related to

wearing any colour but black white and grey


i suggest you keep those things in mind so that you do not cause any man to stumble

sarcasm not helpful either.

Just giving a scriptural example. You're taking my point out of context. You are clearly referring to middle eastern men, things are different over there. I never said men should dictate what we should wear. Just that we should honor God in our dress, as well as our *attitude* (especially toward fellow believers).