I don't want to be a doormat.

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Aug 3, 2019
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#1
I am a widow, living alone, with low income, and disabilities. Lawn care is a major problem for me, too hard to do, and can't afford to pay what people want. Last season we bought a push mower and a small rider. I have a very sandy lot, so walking it is impossible for me, and the rider has small front tires that dig in and get stuck. In early June a young man came to my door, his 2 little girls in the car. He asked about the riding mower sitting beside my shed. I told him about it and that I am hoping to sell it for the $200. I paid for it, to put toward one with larger front tires. He said he lives the next street over, likes to tinker on small engines, and loves to help people out. He asked if I would consider giving him the rider, and he would use his own larger tractor to provide my lawn care, weekly, for the rest of the season. I told him I would think about it and asked him to come back the next day for my answer. I decided it would be worth it to have the yard cared for all season, so I wrote up a contract between us. He arrived promptly the next morning and agreed to the contract. He came back about 2 hours later with a friend in tow, and they were busy blowing the leaves out of the garden area, and weed wacking. I had to leave for an appointment, and when I returned, they were gone, nothing more done, and the rider was gone. It's been 7 weeks, and he has not returned. My lawn is knee high, and mowing season will be done in another month or so. Obviously he only wanted the rider, and did not intend to keep his commitment. I am disappointed, hurt, a little angry, and my trust of others is damaged. I don't want to be a doormat and just let him, or anyone else, walk all over me. I have tried many times to call him, no one answers, and the message service is not set up. I have gone by the house a number of times, usually no one is home, sometimes just the kids are there, and most recently the yard was full of cars and people, and they had a bonfire and cookout going. My rider is not in sight, probably sold. I am seriously considering contacting the police, and/or taking him to small claims court. I am a Christian and I love to help out others when I can. I was hoping this arrangement would become friendly and I could possibly be a witness to him, and a help to his family. I would appreciate any advice from you all. Thank you.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
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#2
Go to the police. Show them your contract, and take them to his house. If he can afford to have parties and cookouts, then he can afford to pay you what he owes you.
 

7seasrekeyed

Senior Member
Aug 27, 2017
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#3
if you have a contract, then what he has done is called fraud

as blue said, go to the police or call them and have them come over

far too many people take advantage of those who seem unable to defend themselves

the police may refer you to small claims court, again, with a contract if he signed it, he broke the law

so sorry you are in this situation

pray first and God will direct you...you probably already have if I understand what you wrote
 

7seasrekeyed

Senior Member
Aug 27, 2017
7,299
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#4
ps....if you can, you might consider the 200.oo you originally wanted for the mower, rather than him saying now he will take care of your yard after all.

past behavior is often a case for future behavior

who knows where the mower is or what shape it is in now
 

Godsgirl83

Well-known member
Apr 1, 2019
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#5
Sound advice has already been given and I agree. What I was going to say has been said...........
I will keep you and this situation in my prayers!!!
 

oldethennew

Senior Member
Feb 28, 2016
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#6
you allowed yourself to be 'duped' - don't know how old you are, but after a few years, we must begin to 'ask' questions',
especially to those who 'just come up onto our door-step'!!

in each and every situation that comes up in our lives, 'we should take it to God FIRST', no matter how simple we think it is'...
 
Aug 3, 2019
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#7
ps....if you can, you might consider the 200.oo you originally wanted for the mower, rather than him saying now he will take care of your yard after all.

past behavior is often a case for future behavior

who knows where the mower is or what shape it is in now

I have been considering that, since I don't think I can trust him any farther than I can throw him. And even if he starts mowing now.....it's sure not worth $200.
 
Aug 3, 2019
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#8
you allowed yourself to be 'duped' - don't know how old you are, but after a few years, we must begin to 'ask' questions',
especially to those who 'just come up onto our door-step'!!

in each and every situation that comes up in our lives, 'we should take it to God FIRST', no matter how simple we think it is'...

Obviously I've been duped before...thus the contract I insisted on. And I didn't accept the deal right away, I waited over night to think and pray about it. Also we had chatted almost an hour.
 
Aug 10, 2019
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#9
Nobody likes to be a doormat....my only advice would be to take your anger or any ill feeling you're having and lay it down at the foot of the cross, a $200 lawn mower (or even one worth $1,000) isn't worth the aggrevation. You behaved in a good and honest manner with someone who is not good and honest, kind of like a certain politician known for not paying his suppliers....if this person approaches you again you'll know how to deal with him.
 

7seasrekeyed

Senior Member
Aug 27, 2017
7,299
2,903
113
#10
you allowed yourself to be 'duped' - don't know how old you are, but after a few years, we must begin to 'ask' questions',
especially to those who 'just come up onto our door-step'!!

in each and every situation that comes up in our lives, 'we should take it to God FIRST', no matter how simple we think it is'...
did you miss this?

from the op

I was hoping this arrangement would become friendly and I could possibly be a witness to him, and a help to his family.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
3,072
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#11
Ok you might have learned your lesson, do not give him the rider until he had completed his job, over several weeks and stay with any tradespeople the first time they come and work for you dont just leave them to it. If he wanted the mower straight away he could have paid you for it.

He was obviously influenced by the devil and thought he could get away with it. Well the Bible says those that steal will be convicted and have to give back sevenfold, so be expecting about $14,000 back from him if the police catch him.

Alternatively Just send him an invoice or reminder and if he doesnt pay or do the work the debt collectors will get on to him. Say my lawn is really high, I now have no mower and you promised to cut it, what are you going to do about it? Or just say you would like your mower back cos you need it to cut your lawn, or just go ask him if you can borrow HIS mower. If you see his girls just say to them to ask when your dad is coming to cut my lawn. He did such a good job. (!) What about his wife? Speak to her.


If it was me though, I would just not have a lawn and mulch it then plant it up and plant flowers or groundcovers. I hate lawnmowing, way too noisy and boring. If you do let your lawn grow, you are doing all the bees and pollinators a favour so personally I wouldnt care about it unless i had to play lawn bowls on it or something. More room for flowers and veges!
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
3,072
1,202
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#12
If its flat and sandy a good groundcover plant is gazanias, they would cover the ground and smother the weeds and then you have pretty flowers too.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
3,072
1,202
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#13
Gazanias, the ultimate doormat plant. Followed closely by snow-in-summer
 

7seasrekeyed

Senior Member
Aug 27, 2017
7,299
2,903
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#14
well Rose, take the good advice that has been given and just forget the rest

I am sure you can tell the difference :)
 

Bingo

Well-known member
Feb 9, 2019
1,506
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#15
"All of the above...sound advise." today.jpg
 

oldethennew

Senior Member
Feb 28, 2016
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#16
the WHOLE POINT IS, -
that we do not want to be manipulated or mocked or taken advantage of in any way,
while we are MINISTRING to others...
we are to be in CONTROL through CHRIST...
if we 'allow' ourselves to be 'defrauded, it has to be according to God's Will,
and NOT according to our being 'fooled'... this is Scripture":...
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
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#17
@Rose1956, you have already received so much sound advice. I just want to add that I see so much value in your desire to witness to him. I am sorry that you were not treated with integrity and dignity. I can imagine you take comfort knowing 2 Cor 9:8 as well as the verse found in Romans 8:28.

Ppl, unbelievers and believers stumble, and that is never easy to encounter, especially on the receiving end of such encounters. You seem to be wise as a serpent and gentle as a dove, but still ugh happens. I pray you are not too badly damaged and that God reveals Himself through all of this. I would be frustrated too. ❤🙏
 

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
Apr 1, 2014
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Arizona
#18
Is it horrible that my stupid literal pun brain thought, “then don’t lie down in front of the doorway.”