Let the pun wars begin

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Jase

Well-known member
Jun 9, 2021
500
271
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I accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles...

Now I'm experiencing constant vowel movements...

and the next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster! ๐Ÿ˜‚
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
18,097
4,843
113
I've heard it said of someone very upset that he was pooping bricks over the issue that got him upset. I guess you're pooping tiles over it.

Our dog ate a whole bag of foil wrapped milk chocolate easter eggs. Now he poops sparkles. He seems to be perfectly fine otherwise.
 

Jase

Well-known member
Jun 9, 2021
500
271
63
Doctor , my cousin says he feels like a pack of cards...

Tell him I'll deal with him later.
 

Jase

Well-known member
Jun 9, 2021
500
271
63
A guy was leaning over his lawn mower sweating.."like the Dickens"...

He was going through a rough patch!
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
7,253
4,098
113
I tried to come up with a carpentry pun that woodwork. I think I nailed it, but nobody saw it. โ€“
 

Jase

Well-known member
Jun 9, 2021
500
271
63
Did you hear about the guy who's whole left side was cut off?

He's all right now! ๐Ÿค—
 

Jase

Well-known member
Jun 9, 2021
500
271
63
A guy was thrown out of the local park after arranging the squirrels by height..

The park rangers didn like him critter sizing! ๐Ÿ˜‚
 

Jase

Well-known member
Jun 9, 2021
500
271
63
I'm starting to tell everyone the benefits of eating dried grapes...

It's all about raisin awareness. ๐Ÿค—
 

Jase

Well-known member
Jun 9, 2021
500
271
63
Garden gnomes are required by the head gnome to wear little red hats!

It's a little gnome fact! ๐Ÿค—
 

Jase

Well-known member
Jun 9, 2021
500
271
63
Think about it.. ๐Ÿค”

If a bear ๐Ÿป put on ๐Ÿงฆ socks...he'd still have bear feet! ๐Ÿ˜‚
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
18,097
4,843
113
The question is, could he still catch you if he was wearing socks? That is THE single only question worth asking about bears. Can they catch you or not?
 

Jase

Well-known member
Jun 9, 2021
500
271
63
The question is, could he still catch you if he was wearing socks? That is THE single only question worth asking about bears. Can they catch you or not?
Maybe...bear-ly! ๐Ÿคญ
 

Jase

Well-known member
Jun 9, 2021
500
271
63
Why is the person who invests all a person's money called a " Btoker"? ๐Ÿค”
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
18,097
4,843
113
Why is the person who invests all a person's money called a " Btoker"? ๐Ÿค”
A keen observation ruined by a typo. Ah well.

Maybe they call him a broker for the same reason a doctor calls his business a practice.
 

Jase

Well-known member
Jun 9, 2021
500
271
63
A keen observation ruined by a typo. Ah well.

Maybe they call him a broker for the same reason a doctor calls his business a practice.
A keen observation ruined by a typo. Ah well.

Maybe they call him a broker for the same reason a doctor calls his business a practice.
Good one & Keen eye....Thought I checked..whoops! ๐Ÿคญ
 

Jase

Well-known member
Jun 9, 2021
500
271
63
Why is it so difficult for a. Leopard ๐Ÿ† to hide?....because he's always spotted! ๐Ÿ˜Š
 

Jase

Well-known member
Jun 9, 2021
500
271
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Why did the cyclop stop teaching? ๐Ÿค”

Because, he only had one pupil. ๐Ÿค—


O.K...O.k..that was a 5th grade joke. ๐Ÿ˜‚
 

Jase

Well-known member
Jun 9, 2021
500
271
63
Why did the EMTs travel in sets of two?

They wanted to be Pair-a-medics! ๐Ÿ˜Š
 

Jase

Well-known member
Jun 9, 2021
500
271
63
When my spirit feels weak,

I turn to the 4th book of the Bible...

After all, there's strength in Numbers!