Let the pun wars begin

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mustaphadrink

Senior Member
Dec 13, 2013
1,499
254
83
This being Easter sunday, we will ask Mrs lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
 

mustaphadrink

Senior Member
Dec 13, 2013
1,499
254
83
At the evening service tonight the topic is "What is hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
 

mustaphadrink

Senior Member
Dec 13, 2013
1,499
254
83
The Assoiciate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I upped my Pledge - Up yours."
 

Jase

Active member
Jun 9, 2021
201
87
28
Evidence has it... William Tell was an avid bowler, oh! yes...

Unfortunately, all the league records were destroyed in a fire...

Thus, we shall never know for whom the Tell bowled! 😄
 

Jase

Active member
Jun 9, 2021
201
87
28
What do you call a line of rabbits hopping backwards?

A receding hare line. 😀
 

Jase

Active member
Jun 9, 2021
201
87
28
A young man was in love with two women and couldn't decide which of them to marry.

So, he went to a marriage counselor.

When asked to describe his two loves...he stated ...one was a lovely poet...and the other a fantastic cook making delicious pancakes.

"Oh", said the counselor, "I see what the problem is....You can't decide whether to marry for batter or verse.". 😉
 

mustaphadrink

Senior Member
Dec 13, 2013
1,499
254
83
As far as I can see, there are a lot of things we need to know that are pundamental.
 

Jase

Active member
Jun 9, 2021
201
87
28
Bread is like the sun...

It raises in he yeast

and sets in the waist! 😄



 

Jase

Active member
Jun 9, 2021
201
87
28
Why did the butterfly not go to the dance? 🤔

Because, it was a moth ball! 😉
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
34,933
12,524
113
66
Tennessee
Evidence has it... William Tell was an avid bowler, oh! yes...

Unfortunately, all the league records were destroyed in a fire...

Thus, we shall never know for whom the Tell bowled! 😄
...it bowled for thee.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
34,933
12,524
113
66
Tennessee
A young man was in love with two women and couldn't decide which of them to marry.

So, he went to a marriage counselor.

When asked to describe his two loves...he stated ...one was a lovely poet...and the other a fantastic cook making delicious pancakes.

"Oh", said the counselor, "I see what the problem is....You can't decide whether to marry for batter or verse.". 😉
That would be a conundrum for sure. :)
 

Jase

Active member
Jun 9, 2021
201
87
28
How do you make a duck a soul singer ? 🤔

Hold it under water till it's bill withers. 😉




 

Jase

Active member
Jun 9, 2021
201
87
28
A student made a model of Mount Everest for his school project.

When asked.."Is it to scale?"

He said, "Don't be absurd..It's just to look at!". 😉
 

Jase

Active member
Jun 9, 2021
201
87
28
Did you hear about the Dutch painter that swapped his Cabrilet Smart car for a GMC Savana 2500..to better haul his supplies.

Everyone in town said, "Look at Vincent's van go!"
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
17,627
4,570
113
I think I drove that van in Gran Turismo 2. It couldn't beat every race, but it was pretty fast for a van. 1,077 horsepower.
 

Jase

Active member
Jun 9, 2021
201
87
28
One day a broccolli🥦 and a carrot🥕, who were best friends, were walking down the country road.

A farm truck🚜 whipped by and struck the carrot.

The broccoli called 911 and tried to help his friend the best he could.

Rushed to the hospital🚑 and into surgery..and after a long wait, the doctor finally appeared.

He told the broccoli, "I have some good news and some bad news".

The good news is your friend is going to pull through.

" The bad news is that he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life" 🤔
 
Mar 13, 2014
34,933
12,524
113
66
Tennessee
One day a broccolli🥦 and a carrot🥕, who were best friends, were walking down the country road.

A farm truck🚜 whipped by and struck the carrot.

The broccoli called 911 and tried to help his friend the best he could.

Rushed to the hospital🚑 and into surgery..and after a long wait, the doctor finally appeared.

He told the broccoli, "I have some good news and some bad news".

The good news is your friend is going to pull through.

" The bad news is that he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life" 🤔
The broccoli was green with envy.