Lovesong Poetry

For my guy:​

I think you mailed me in my email, but I thought it was spam
and I threw it away accidently. I didn't know if it was you or not.
If it was I'm sorry, send again. If not disregard this message.
Wanted to clear that up.​

I love you, I need you, I want you
by: Lowanla (me)​

days are long the hours eternity
a broken heart without you is agony
you are holding me in your arms
so closely, lovingly
I can't stand it when your mad at me
I'm so torn and broken
I'm sorry, I'm sorry
I messed up and your angry at me
for my own stupidity​

I love you, I need you, I want you,
I am always willing to wait
but o how my heart aches
just to hear you say 'ready'​

your heart is my world
and I am sinking and stuck on you
I want to see you
I want to be with you
I can't be without you
your feelings are important to me
you are important to me​

Sleeping Awaiting
By: Lowanla (me)

Hands perched up over heart
locked in frozen prayer
She went through deep sleep
wasting the hours dreaming
of love, desiring a comatose
state just to be near her love,
its hard to move anymore
waiting for a gentle kiss
from a prince to
wake her from her
heavily felt depression
she sleeps
and dreams of love
each time she closes her eyes
she makes a wish
she opens them
nothing daily
so she sleeps to see love
it gets harder to move
she closes her eyes
says a prayer
and just one more uplifting
scripture of promise
to lift her down cast spirit
and she would rise to fly
to make it through another day
hoping and trusting one day
she'll opens her eyes
to his kiss upon her lips
each and every sunrise.
​

Let you go
by: Lowanla (me)

I love you, I trust God,
so I let you go
I release you into his hands
I will not guilt you anymore, I am fine
my heart is full of joy,
to know you
I am happy
You don't have to make me believe
I love you already and I know you do me
but I know its hard to be with me
because I'm not helping you
If God says we'll be together
he will make a way
to help both of us
that's why its not hard for me
to let you go
I'll let you go
to be with whomever you want
I am okay with it, I have to be
because I do not own you
you are free

The reason I am doing all this
is to give you the word
that hopefully God has planted it in your heart
hopefully I hope so much, that
it comes in handy when you need it

I'd rather you be alive with someone
your own age spiritually with whom you can grow
than me.

I did what I did here for a reason,
so you would live.
You are too important to me to be without me,

do not feel guilt for anything,
I'm glad I could know you for awhile,
goodbye, I bless you
with so much love unending.

Please let this be my last poem/song/love letter...
​

The Goetia is a nice touch but sadly
Ineffective against the indestructible
Power of the Holy Spirit
You can't shut him up
He's like fire shut up in my
Bones and he stirs within me

*sigh* I refuse to marry a closet
Christian with his head in the sand
Yes he is a believer in Christ
I don't want to be with a man
Who can't even stand as a believer
Nor stand for the one he loves

It would be better i died and
Not feel his touch at all
Then hide in cowardice
So hurry and get it over with
I do not fear death
It's the only way to shut me up...




​

anguish, torture, torment, loneliness, emptiness, humiliation, sorrow,
lost, helpless, hungry, pitiful, suffering, longing, crying,
aching, groaning, grief, depression, despairing..

are feelings felt when love is not there.
comfort is something, I love it, yet still torture, without love in its entirety.

don't remind me of what I don't have, of what I want.
sure I can say no more, but I wanted you to know
I did my best for you that I cared. It was never to torture you.

the truth is ..I don't want to say more.

my heart hurts too much.

without you.

​

Judgement comes

Every thing evil rend itself in judgement
Fire in the skies
The earth shakes beneath your feet
Secret places crumbling
The sea red as blood
Gold melting before the black mass
The Earth opens and swallows its evils
Signs and wonders so you will know
So you will believe
Jesus Christ is Lord
He is coming soon

​

Every Time
by: Lowanla (me)

You broke my trust
and you are always finding
new ways to break it

You broke my heart
and you are always finding
new ways to break it

You broke my dreams
and you are always finding
ways to make them lies

You make promises
and you always find ways
of never keeping them

You leave me alone...
and I am broken without you.

and then you come back to me
and suddenly
my trust in you is restored,
my heart beats and is alive,
my dreams and hope continues
and your promises are kept

I take you back every time
because I am in love with you
I take you back every time
because I love you.

​

I Do
by: Lowanla (me)

I cannot be controlled,
I cannot be forced to love you by anyone,
I cannot be ruled by fear by anyone,
I will say what I please,
because of who lives inside of me,
I go by what he tells me,
I do not go by what I think, hear,
see, or by my feelings,
but somehow you are in contact with me,
maybe because we are suppose to be,
maybe it is mercy,
my answer is always the same, I do.
I have new love for you,
every single day,
even if you never wrote me a letter,
even if you never once said sorry,
I go by what he tells me inside,
he tells me you are good for me,
he tells me you really do love me,
so every time you come to me
I see my future holding me
that's why its not hard to love you.
That's why I believe you
when you say you love me,
even if you don't say it.
This is why I am writing to you.
That is why I am waiting for you.

​

For my guy:

come and use me
consume entirely
you will not hurt me
but you will be restored
if I am held entirely with everything
I am already
dead to this world
so I do not fear
for who lives within me
is life himself
what is anguish to me? lies
what is the burning flames felt to me? lies
I do not go by what I see, hear, feel, smell, taste,
I do not go by my physical senses,
I go by every word the Holy Spirit tells me
with the word of God
that's not what he told me, he tells me
a better word for you and I choose to believe him
you are to me
something more
that those things are only
distractions to keep me from
you, my destiny and promise.
so hold on to me with everything
you will not hurt me,
for love gives me strength
it will be okay, I love you

2 Kings 13:21
Once while some Israelite were burying a man, suddenly they saw a band of raiders; so they threw the man's body into Elisha's tomb. When the body touched Elisha's bones, the man came to life and stood up on his feet.
​

It Is Written
by: Lowanla (me)

Now you listen here mr devil cause I may have not made myself clear
I do not go by what I feel, taste, sense, or even what I might hear
I do not even go by what illusion and dreams you throw my way
but I go by every word written in the word of God every day

It Is Written!
Let God Be true and Every man a liar.
It is Written!
For the Lord is Good and his mercies endure forever!
It is Written!
He Shall Live and not die and proclaim the word of the Lord
It Is Written!
Jesus Spoiled Principalities and powers and made
a show of them openly triumphing over them in it.
It Is Written!
being confident of this, that he who began a good work in him
will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
It Is Written!
And since we have been made right in God's sight by the blood of Christ,
he will certainly save us from God's condemnation.

Need I Say More..?

​

I'm a very dramatic person aren't I?
The truth is..
I'm not really a hard person to please,
you could practically destroy me entirely
or make me wait for an eternity
which may destroy me who knows
and it would cause me frozen bitterness
but the hardest stone of my heart
against you crumbles to nothing
when you let me know you love and care for me.
I will say every thing on my heart and it won't end

things gets harder every day
more and more lonely
sometimes it feels like
you are just messing with me to be cruel
but I think I realize your side of the story
so I try to be strong for you
I know none of this is easy at all for you

I write you every day, and I try to keep
myself away from desperation moments
of over writing and that is tough.
Sometimes its cruel, sometimes its encouraging
I hope mostly that its encouraging,
sometimes its frustrating to you I know

I wish I could hold onto you.

​

As You Are
by: Lowanla (me)

I will take you as you are
that is how much I want you.

You love me?
then nothing else matters
I don't see the past or scars
the good or bad I don't care
you are that important to me

I just want you entirely
for a long long time
not just temporary
I want you entirely
I want everything
not just dreams or feelings

I love you, nothing else matters
want to be with you, only
and always.

​

Strength for one more day -
(Barely making it through prayer)
by: Lowanla (me)

Prayers fly like Incense filling the skies
to Heaven into your very hands ...

and you take them and see everyone
and you answer them justly in your
good and perfect time.

Hear my cry O God My Father
I feel so alone
nobody can hear me
but you alone

Nobody see's my tears,
nor my heart groaning in sorrow
how it drains me of life
how it wastes the hours

Give me strength for a new day
for you know everything,
be my shield and cover
put those who are destroying me
for their own amusement and
fun down in shame.
Bring me justice once again.

Give me strength for a new day,
Open doors, give me, motivation,
for whatever you set before me.

Open my heart to others, give me
bravery and courage.

For only you God my father are true love alone.

give me strength for a new day,
I don't need anyone to give me love
but you my God, my father,
You My God alone are all I need.

- In Jesus Name Amen

​