Lovesong Poetry

I knew you would hurt me
I knew you would deny me,
but I chose this path anyway
because I fell in love with you
I still believe in my dream.

I love you, my love

I want you to be with me..

​

One Day I'll Be Brave Enough - (She's An Anomaly)
by: lowanla (me)

I'm only in the way
Anomaly
do you think they'll sing my songs one day?
The world is filled with its manipulations
Its like swallowing candy filled with nails
who to believe? When it hurts
the love feels beautiful and I become happy
the rumors and the lies kill me they burn

Whats the bravest thing I can do
So afraid of nothing
the guilt chains me
rumors drag me to the guillotine
existing for dreams
for the sake of art I bleed

One day I'll be brave enough - make ya proud
Anomaly - screams but makes no sound
just a destructive anomaly
hurting and destroying everybody with my words
a monster like jean, lucy's eileen, and carrie.
stay away from me I am not your love nor friend.

In order to deviate from my tormenting dreams,
brave enough to make you proud of me,
I wish someone cared enough to believe me,
let the angels loosen their protective grip on me,
the sharp and heavy things will fall on me,
crushed breathless between here and nothing
don't belong here, stay away from me

things will be as they should be..
perfect
with no anomalies.
​

my guy:

I got a little depressed earlier (well...a lot actually) about something I heard,
Honestly its not my business what you do with your life, its your life. You can do what you want.
What makes this hard is because of the distance and the fact that I get no dignity out of this.
I have an extremely low self esteem if you haven't noticed, and thoughts that are amplified,
so I lose focus. Which I think could possibly be ADHD who knows.. It turns into this torment, and I react.

The thing about love is I know when you have this guilt or sadness, It hurts me, like I have the double amount of a heartbreak.. I'm sorry for making you feel bad...I feel bad for making you feel bad.

I don't hate you, I don't think I could ever hate you, no matter what I hear, its depressing...
cause I'm so confused. I just hope you can promise me if you do find someone else, please hold onto them
entirely, and let go of me. Don't drag me along cause you are trying to protect my feelings. Just do the right thing...if you really love me, I'm a mature adult.

the only reason I got that clinically depressed, is because I don't want to be be someones used doormat.
It would just be nice to be looked at like I am worth something, especially if its coming from somebody who loves me...like you. I know you love me.

The thing about love is, you lose most of your working brain cells, and you love that person so much, anger doesn't last too long, depending on how much brain cells have been lost while being in love...

I'll always love you no matter what...

​

Make up your mind
by: Lowanla (me)

From your truthful tears of Heavens rain
to our clash in the great coliseum games
they clamor for more blood what a show
have all the love in the world
yet one love is what you are holding onto

It looks like the plans taking a turn
should I keep believing you
or have you changed your mind
like I knew you would

The flame tells tales of passion
where I feel like I become happy
the actions tell tales of hells repentance
where a pretty face is more beautiful than the heart
where the love of all is better than one

I don't want to get in the way
but the pain of abandonment hurts
more than the agony of flame

what should I believe, you?
tell me should I believe you?
or should I move on
lets clear the fog to walk down the road

cause I don't like this
I'm just in the way
why can't you let me go
so we can just move on
I don't want to get in the way
make up your mind

Tell me should I wait or let go
of what you promised to love and
be true
just make up your mind
waiting is worse than your agony
and flame

it hurts so much waiting for you
​

Ruptured Heart
by: Lowanla (me)

Soothe a ruptured heart
with words of comfort
how I burn for this truth
I want to believe you
cause I am your willing fool
and what I would give up for you,
I would give up anything darling
I know my anger hurts you
and I'm dying in your sadness
I want to be with you
just so confused
just a word of I love you
clear the fog away
so lost agonizing
O give me strength
to wait for you
I feel you, need you,
love you,
dying for your pain
so I can feel again
with you

​

My Wierdo Thoughts and quotes
by: Lowanla (me)

There is no greater bloodier,
savage, violent war
than that of the war that is
fought in the mind..

The trick is to see you the way
you and everyone else refuses to see
you...human.

regardless of any thing else,
I still see you as...important to me.

I'll lose my mind when I'm ready to
lose my mind, I think I'm doing pretty
well, so far.

All learned morals, values, codes, laws,
rules, orders, fail,
when it's somebody
you just can't live without

..I've made up my mind,
you are somebody I just can't
live without.

All I think about is you,
I wasn't lost because of you,
I was lost because I was without you.
Do you really believe I could live
without you if you weren't in the world?

​

Yeah...I'm embarrassing I know hehe
If it makes you smile either way
It was worth it

​

Not Perfect
by: Lowanla (me)

love works..
when you can accept these things, that we face everyday without fail..

I will never be perfect - you will never be perfect
I will never be right all the time - You will never be right all the time
I will be right sometimes - You will be right sometimes
I will not always acknowledge your existance - you will not always acknowledge my existance
I will never say the right things all the time - you will never say the right things all the time
I will make mistakes - you will make mistakes
I will lie - you will lie
I will be suspicious and jealous - you will be suspicious and jealous

You are not Perfection...

no matter what anyone says...

but I don't want a perfect person...
I want somebody as messed up as I am, who comes to me
for love and comfort so that I can feel like I'm needed...

You make me feel like I'm needed,
you make me feel like I'm loved and important.

another one of the thousands of reasons I love you.

I forgive because I'd rather choose to be happy over being miserable with you,
its not an easy path but its not an impossible one.

​

My guy,

I think I want to take a break from chasing after you, its getting to be too much,
I love you and I won't with-hold love from you
when you need me, I want to be with you...but

You have to admit things are kind of shaky when you have manipulators
trying to control the situation. Its too much pressure right now..

I just don't think you should expect me to come see you, even though I really want to...
Honestly I can't afford it.

I don't want to scrape and save everything just so that I find you will just ignore me like you never knew me.

I think we are okay the way we are now, you seem comfortable and okay with it.
So getting back to normal sounds okay to me.

I don't want you to feel bad, its just I think when you are ready to be with me you will
tell me yourself. I think I'll wait for that, but for now, I'll let you live your life, so you don't have
some obsessed wierdo putting relationship pressures on you.

...I still mean everything I said, I can't live without you, I'd rather you be happy, doing what you love,

We'll just call this putting whatever we have on hold..

I'll wait for your kiss, if you still love me.

I love you
​