RAPE: Info, Statistics, and What To Do

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
65,892
3,683
113
#1
* Disclaimer: Long post alert, but rape is a serious subject that needs to be talked about and have awareness given to it! Please read it in it's entirety! Thanks!
Hello everyone,

I have been encouraged to write about rape to raise awareness about it and to tell victims of rape that it is not their fault!! It is never the victim's fault! NO MEANS NO!! It does'nt matter what the person might be wearing, or whether they are drunk or stoned or whatever. Women (and men) NEVER "ask" to get raped. The following article is from KidsHealth.org - Search Results.

Rape, sometimes called sexual assualt, can happen to both men and women of any age. The U.S. Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) defines rape as: "The penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim." Rape is forced and unwanted. It's about power, not sex. A rapist uses actual force or violence — or the threat of it — to take control over another human being. Some rapists use drugs to take away a person's ability to fight back. Rape is a crime, whether the person committing it is a stranger, a date, an acquaintance, or a family member.No matter how it happened, rape is frightening and traumatizing. People who have been raped need care, comfort, and a way to heal.
[h=3]What Should I Do?[/h]What's the right thing to do if you've been raped? Take care of yourself in the best way for you. For some people, that means reporting the crime immediately and fighting to see the rapist brought to justice. For others it means seeking medical or emotional care without reporting the rape as a crime. Every person is different.
There are three things that everyone who has been raped should do, though:


  1. [*=left]Know that the rape was'nt your fault.
    [*=left]Seek medical care.
    [*=left]Deal with your feelings.





Whatever happened, it wasn't your fault. No one has the right to have sex with you against your will. The blame for a rape lies solely with the rapist.

Sometimes a rapist will try to exert even more power by making the person who's been raped feel like it was actually his or her fault. A rapist may say stuff like, "You asked for it" or "You wanted it." This is just another way for the rapist to take control. The truth is that what a person wears, what a person says, or how a person acts is never a justification for rape.
Most people who are raped know their rapists. That can sometimes lead the person who's been raped to try to protect the perpetrator. Make protecting yourself your priority. Don't worry about protecting the person who raped you.
If you want to report the crime to the police, do so. Reporting a rape may help protect others from that person — and may help you feel a little less like you were a victim.
But making a report to the police may be difficult for some people. If you don't feel comfortable reporting it, you don't have to. You may prefer to get advice about what to do from an experienced adult who can be sympathetic to you. Do whatever helps you to feel safe and heal without blaming yourself.



The first thing someone who has been raped needs to do is see a medical doctor. Most medical centers and hospital emergency departments have doctors and counselors who have been trained to take care of someone who has been raped. It's important to get medical care because a doctor will need to check you forsexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and internal injuries.
Most areas have local rape hotlines that can give you advice about where to go for medical help. You may want to have a friend or family member go along for support, especially if you're feeling upset and unsafe. Some rape crisis centers also provide advocates who can go along with you. You can also call the national sexual assault hotline at (800) 656-HOPE.
If you are under 18 and don't want your parents to know about the rape, ask the rape crisis center about the laws in your area. Many jurisdictions treat rape exams confidentially, but some will require that a parent or guardian be notified.
You should get medical attention right away without changing your clothes, showering, douching, or washing. It can be hard not to clean up, of course — it's a natural human instinct to wash away all traces of a sexual assault. But being examined right away is the best way to ensure you get proper medical treatment.
Immediate medical attention also helps when people decide to report the crime, providing evidence needed to prosecute the rapist if a criminal case is pursued. If you've been raped and think you don't want to report it, you could change your mind later — this often happens — and having the results of a medical exam can help you do this. (There are laws, known as statutes of limitations, that give a person only a certain amount of time to pursue legal action for a crime, though, so be sure you know how long you have to report the rape. A local rape crisis center can advise you of the laws in your area.) Even if you dont get examined right away, it does'nt mean you cant get a checkup later. It's always best to see a doctor IMMEDIATELY after a rape, of course. But a person can still go to a doctor or local clinic to get checked out for STD's, pregnancy, or injuries any time after being raped. In some cases, doctors can even gather evidence several days AFTER a rape has occurred.

What happens during the medical exam?



When you go to the hospital after a rape, a trained counselor or social worker will listen while you talk about what happened. Talking to a trained listener can help you begin to release some of the emotions you are probably feeling so that you can start to feel calm and safe again.
The counselor may also talk with you about the medical exam and what it involves. Each state or jurisdiction has different requirements, of course, but here are some of the things that may happen during the medical exam:


  • [*=left]A medical professional will test you for STDs, including HIV/AIDS. These tests may involve taking blood or saliva samples. Although the thought of getting an STD after a rape
    [*=left]is extremely scary, the quicker a person finds out about any infection, the more effectively he or she can be treated. Doctors can start you on immediate treatment courses for STDs, including HIV/AIDS, that will greatly increase your protection against developing these diseases.
    [*=left]
    If you're female, a medical professional may treat you to prevent an unwanted pregnancy, if you wish.
    [*=left]A medical professional will examine you internally to check for any injury that might have been caused by the rape.
    [*=left]A medical professional or trained technician may look for and take samples of the rapist's hair, skin, nails, or bodily fluids from your clothes or body.
    [*=left]If you think you've been given a rape drug, a doctor or technician can test for this, too. Be aware that this toxicology test covers any and all illegal drugs.At any time during the medical exam, you can say if you don't want a certain test performed or evidence collected. All procedures are being done to help you, so you have control over which procedures you'd like done, as well as a say in any you don't want.


    Dealing with feelings: Rape is'nt just physically damaging, it can be emotionally
    traumatic as well. The right emotional attention, care, and support can help a person begin the healing process and prevent lingering problems later on.
    Someone who has been raped might feel a lot of things: angry, degraded, frightened, numb, or confused. It's also normal for someone who has been raped to feel ashamed or embarrassed. Some people withdraw from friends and family. Others don't want to be alone. Some feel depressed, anxious, or nervous.
    Sometimes the feelings surrounding rape may show up in physical ways, such as trouble sleeping or eating. It may be hard to concentrate in school or to participate in everyday activities. Sometimes it may feel like you'll never get over the trauma of the rape. Experts often refer to these emotions — and their physical side effects — as rape trauma syndrome. The best way to work through them is with professional help.
    It can be hard to think or talk about a frightening experience, especially something as personal as rape. People who have been raped sometimes avoid seeking help because they're afraid that talking about it will bring back memories or feelings that are too painful. But this can actually do more harm than good.
    Talking about rape in a safe environment with the help and support of a trained professional is the best way to ensure long-term healing. Working through the pain sooner rather than later can help reduce symptoms like nightmares and flashbacks. It can also help people avoid potentially harmful behaviors and emotions, like major depression or self-injury.
    Every rape survivor works through his or her feelings differently.

    When I was raped, I did'nt work through my feelings. I felt as if somehow everyone could just look at me and tell I had been raped, even though that idea is ridiculous. I did'nt tell anyone, not even the police, but looking back now, I wish I had, because the scumbag who raped me went on to rape other women as well. So ladies (and men!), if you have been raped, SPEAK UP!! Tell someone!! Go to the police and have the perpetrator caught. Rapists deserve to rot in prison for what they have inflicted upon you. Keeping silent is giving THEM the power!! Take that power away from them.

    My rape happened in 1993, and even to this very day in 2014, it still haunts me. I live with it every day, as do many others in the world. I can only say this one thing to you: We are NOT victims, we are SURVIVORS!!



 

Attachments

Dec 11, 2012
2
0
0
#2
all too often if not allmost EVERY occasion a young girl gets raped, she blames herself or, has some sort of misplaced shame over herself, and bcuz of this, the rape never gets reported.. its SO important that it does get reported, if only to make sure no other females are possible victims for the same guy.

Bout time this place adressed the REAL issues. thumbs up
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
65,892
3,683
113
#3
all too often if not allmost EVERY occasion a young girl gets raped, she blames herself or, has some sort of misplaced shame over herself, and bcuz of this, the rape never gets reported.. its SO important that it does get reported, if only to make sure no other females are possible victims for the same guy.

Bout time this place adressed the REAL issues. thumbs up
Thank you, LivingCanvasGirl! I totally agree, EVERY rape needs to be reported. I intend to bring other important issues to light and increase people's awareness of them in future threads. :) It's time to stop sweeping these subjects under the rug simply because they may be embarassing or uncomfortable to talk about!!
 
Jun 18, 2014
755
3
0
#4
all too often if not allmost EVERY occasion a young girl gets raped, she blames herself or, has some sort of misplaced shame over herself, and bcuz of this, the rape never gets reported.. its SO important that it does get reported, if only to make sure no other females are possible victims for the same guy.

Bout time this place adressed the REAL issues. thumbs up
This self-blame is the same thing seen in abused children, or children of divorce, or anyone who goes through trauma inflicted by an outside source that's out of their control. They bear responsibility because they believe that their personalities or looks or their aura or behaviour somehow caused their abuse or led to their negative experiences, or that people felt like picking on them, bullying them, abusing them or targeting them because of their own actions. ''I must be weak if I got targeted'', ''I must be a cause of argument if my parents are breaking up'', ''I must be not worth respect if someone abused me like that''.

These feeling are actually, if we think about it deeply, a representation of the victim's high moral standards and their humanity. If a person wonders ''How could anyone abuse another human being like that?? It must have happened to me because I'm not considered worthy of good treatment'', then that shows the victim believes such abuse to be beneath them; something they could not willingly inflict on another human being, but they also take the responsibility from the abuser and rationalize ''I must have deserved it'' because they, in some way, do not want to judge or blame others.

While having an innate sense of decency and humanity like this is admirable, misunderstanding it and misplacing it is a recipe for depression, anxiety and low self esteem. What these people would be better to realize is, ''I am a loving, worthy, compassionate human being, for I take on the burdens that nobody has asked me to, and I would wonder if my own actions are at fault before I would even condemn another human being, even if that human being is a rapist''.

By realizing this deep, profound sense of humanity, people who are 'victims' can begin to understand just how valuable they really are. They no longer need to feel like victims, but can begin to see that they are strong, moral, beautiful people who would bear the mistakes and atrocities of weaker people who do not share the same humanity; the abusers, the rapists. These are the real weak people.

It helps to realize that the rape is not a product of the actions or behaviours of the person who is raped, they are a product of the intents and actions and thoughts of the rapist himself. They are his thoughts, separate from everyone else's, and they come from his mind, his experiences, his conditionings, his past, his outlook and his life; the raped person is not in any way responsible for those. But, in realizing these, not only can the raped person recognize their own humanity and their own strength, they can actually pity the rapists, which not only empowers the raped person, but also tends to grand a certain peace of mind, in knowing that the rapist's weakness was the true weakness in all this, and that the raped person is not responsible for that.
 
Apr 15, 2014
1,480
76
0
#5
There is truth that the person blames themselves because they are convinced that it is their fault. But I don't think that means it shows any humility on their part, as if they are trying to give good to the person who is in fact abusing them. If anything, they also hold resentment from what was done while blaming themselves. Just because they think they are at fault doesn't mean that they are excusing what the person has done to them, but rather, they fear them. They don't want any consequences that would either tear the family apart (if it is a family member that abused them) as the result because it would put more trauma on them and again, it would be their fault according to them. Plus the abuser may impose threats on the victim, which may draw them to not say anything at all because they don't know what the abuser would be capable of doing once their actions have been exposed. It all roots to fear, not humility. Humility shouldn't be used on something tragic, no matter how much the person wants to blame themselves because the self shame wasn't their fault either.

That being said, I think the topic should expand to what a person should do if they know someone who is in fact a rape victim. What could the person who associates with the rape victim do to help the raped victim without going out of line on their behalf and at the same time help the burden from the said raped victim so they know that they can speak up.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
65,892
3,683
113
#6
There is truth that the person blames themselves because they are convinced that it is their fault. But I don't think that means it shows any humility on their part, as if they are trying to give good to the person who is in fact abusing them. If anything, they also hold resentment from what was done while blaming themselves. Just because they think they are at fault doesn't mean that they are excusing what the person has done to them, but rather, they fear them. They don't want any consequences that would either tear the family apart (if it is a family member that abused them) as the result because it would put more trauma on them and again, it would be their fault according to them. Plus the abuser may impose threats on the victim, which may draw them to not say anything at all because they don't know what the abuser would be capable of doing once their actions have been exposed. It all roots to fear, not humility. Humility shouldn't be used on something tragic, no matter how much the person wants to blame themselves because the self shame wasn't their fault either.

That being said, I think the topic should expand to what a person should do if they know someone who is in fact a rape victim. What could the person who associates with the rape victim do to help the raped victim without going out of line on their behalf and at the same time help the burden from the said raped victim so they know that they can speak up.


JAU, I intend to expand on that in this reply. I wish someone had helped me when it happened to me. This article is taken from http://member.www.tripod.com/rape_pathfinder_help-ivil/rapecrisispathfinderonlineresources/id24.html.


[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]How to help a friend
[/FONT]​
[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]
Most rape victims are suffering from PTSD which makes them extremely dissoriented. At this stage they may do or say things which don't seem to make sense. They are often unable to function on a level at which they can help themselves.
It is crucial that those around them educate themselves to recognize the symptoms and help them get treatment. The links below will help you begin to understand and help your loved ones.

http://wc.studentaffairs.duke.edu/sasshthaf.html
How to help a friend- basic information


http://www.gmu.edu/facstaff/sexual/effects_of_assault.html#common
What can you expect after a person has been raped?
In most cases these symptoms prevent rape victims from functioning at full capacity and helping themselves. It’s important at this time for others to give their support and help protect them.

[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]Coping and Reactions - [/FONT][FONT=Arial,Arial][FONT=Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]Rape Trauma Syndrome. What to expect from an assault survivor.[/FONT] [/FONT]

http://www.hopeforhealing.org/friend.html
How to help rape victims and the stages of trauma.
This site was recommended by the founder of hope for healing (on a message board) with the advice that you can also order a paper copy.

http://www.rainn.org/whatshould.html
RAINN how to help rape victims. How can I help a friend who has been sexually assaulted?

http://members.tripod.com/lmsurratt/
Understanding Rape
This site is an excellent source of objective information on rape. It has a focus on date rape but gives a good over view. The format is that of a pathfinder.
"Rape is a complex experience. The therapist, of a survivor of rape, should be aware of different factors that shape the survivor’s experience. However, the therapist must not only view the survivor in the context of the individual, but
[TABLE]
[TR]
[TD="colspan: 2"][TABLE]
[TR]
[TD][FONT=Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif] but also in the context of community. It is an injustice to survivors, to not become aware of the societal and experiential determinants that shape the reactions of a survivor."

http://www.hopeforhealing.org/not.html
What not to say to a rape victim.

http://www.hopeforhealing.org/prevention
Rape prevention- contains links to several sites with suggestions and information.

The following sites were researched after I came to the conclusion that no one is going to listen if we say "stop raping" to a bunch of grown adults. The change needs to occur in childhood. Kids need to learn that over powering people smaller than you isn't cool it's pathetic. These sites help parents teach children respect for women (the opposite of what they are currently learning). The audio samples are particularly interesting. They are public service announcements you can download and play for your kids.

http://endabuse.org/programs/display.php3?DocID=9916
End Abuse Campaigns: Reaching Men
Coaching Boys into Men
Boys are swamped with influences outside of the home – from friends, the neighborhood, television, the internet, music, the movies… everything they see around them. They hear all kinds of messages about what it means to “be a man” – that they have to be tough and in control. There are numerous conflicting and some harmful messages being given to boys about what constitutes “being a man” in a relationship. So teach boys early, and teach them often, that there is no place for violence in a relationship.
http://endabuse.org/programs/printable/display.php3?DocID=9902
audio for endabuse adds to train boys not to abuse women.

http://www.healthy-dating.com/
program on rape education on middle and high schools



[/FONT][FONT=Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]
[/FONT]
[/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]
[/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]

[/FONT]
​If you know someone who has recently been raped, be there for them!! They need your support more than ever before now! Go with them to the doctor, to the police, listen to them if they want to talk. Let them know it's okay to speak up and speak out against this heinous crime!!
 
Jun 18, 2014
755
3
0
#7
There is truth that the person blames themselves because they are convinced that it is their fault. But I don't think that means it shows any humility on their part, as if they are trying to give good to the person who is in fact abusing them. If anything, they also hold resentment from what was done while blaming themselves. Just because they think they are at fault doesn't mean that they are excusing what the person has done to them, but rather, they fear them. They don't want any consequences that would either tear the family apart (if it is a family member that abused them) as the result because it would put more trauma on them and again, it would be their fault according to them. Plus the abuser may impose threats on the victim, which may draw them to not say anything at all because they don't know what the abuser would be capable of doing once their actions have been exposed. It all roots to fear, not humility. Humility shouldn't be used on something tragic, no matter how much the person wants to blame themselves because the self shame wasn't their fault either.

That being said, I think the topic should expand to what a person should do if they know someone who is in fact a rape victim. What could the person who associates with the rape victim do to help the raped victim without going out of line on their behalf and at the same time help the burden from the said raped victim so they know that they can speak up.
You're misunderstanding what I'm saying. The rapist should be brought to justice, of course they should, but after that, the psychological trauma still continues. There are ways to look at it that might alleviate that trauma, self doubt and blame. What I'm saying is something to be applied to help the raped person feel better about themselves, not to suggest the rapist shouldn't be brought to justice.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
65,892
3,683
113
#8
You're misunderstanding what I'm saying. The rapist should be brought to justice, of course they should, but after that, the psychological trauma still continues. There are ways to look at it that might alleviate that trauma, self doubt and blame. What I'm saying is something to be applied to help the raped person feel better about themselves, not to suggest the rapist shouldn't be brought to justice.
Esanta, as a rape victim myself, nothing "alleviates" the trauma, self-doubt and blame that a victim feels after being violated. There is therapy and counseling, of course, but for the most part, rape victims dont want to have to talk about it or relive the awful experience, and they just want to TRY to forget that it ever happened. Thank you for your input on this subject. I appreciate it. By the way, very few, if any at all, rape victims pity their attackers. Rapists will be judged not only in a court of law (if caught), but they will also be judged by God himself for their actions against their victims.
 

biscuit

Senior Member
Jan 14, 2014
2,051
15
0
#9
We all know rape is a 'horrific crime' initiating mainly against women and we, as a society, demand the rapist be brought to trial. However, rape is as old as mankind and so is the factor of using rape as a weapon or leverage against men. The abuse is so overwhelming that many courts are lessening the sentence or finding them not guilty. The same can be said of DV.

There have been cases where the men have actually taken women to civil court and sued them with success for libel & slander for false rape reporting.

There is the bible story of Joseph whose brothers allowed him to be sold into slavery and later became the servant of the Egyptian pharaoh. The pharaoh's wife wanted to seduce Joseph but he rejected her advances and she became furious. She went to her husband and assertive that Joseph raped her and demanded he be put to death immediately. The pharaoh spoke to Joseph and he denied it. The pharaoh decided to spare Joseph' life and he eventually saved Egypt from a severe famine.
 
Last edited:

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
65,892
3,683
113
#10
We all know rape is a 'horrific crime' initiating mainly against women and we, as a society, demand the rapist be brought to trial. However, rape is as old as mankind and so is the factor of using rape as a weapon or leverage against men. The abuse is so overwhelming that many courts are lessening the sentence or finding them not guilty. The same can be said of DV.

There have been cases where the men have actually taken women to civil court and sued them with success for libel & slander for false rape reporting.

There is the bible story of Joseph whose brothers allowed him to be sold into slavery and later became the servant of the Egyptian pharaoh. The pharaoh's wife wanted to seduce Joseph but he rejected her advances and she became furious. She went to her husband and assertive that Joseph raped her and demanded he be put to death immediately. The pharaoh spoke to Joseph and he denied it. The pharaoh decided to spare Joseph' life and he eventually saved Egypt from a severe famine.
biscuit, I agree, I have heard cases where a woman or girl made up a rape charge just to get revenge or whatever. However, I would tend to think the ratio of those who accuse FALSELY as opposed to those who truly ARE raped, would be alot lower. Rape is as old as time itself, as you said, and the pharoah's wife is a good example of a woman who "cried wolf" because Joseph (or any guy) did'nt want her. Hell has no fury like a woman scorned!! That saying is most definitely true. Pharoah's wife did'nt like being rejected by a handsome man, therefore she made up such a heinous charge against Joseph. It just goes to show you that things that happened in bible times, such as rape, slander, adultery, etc, still happens today too!
 

biscuit

Senior Member
Jan 14, 2014
2,051
15
0
#11
biscuit, I agree, I have heard cases where a woman or girl made up a rape charge just to get revenge or whatever. However, I would tend to think the ratio of those who accuse FALSELY as opposed to those who truly ARE raped, would be alot lower. Rape is as old as time itself, as you said, and the pharoah's wife is a good example of a woman who "cried wolf" because Joseph (or any guy) did'nt want her. Hell has no fury like a woman scorned!! That saying is most definitely true. Pharoah's wife did'nt like being rejected by a handsome man, therefore she made up such a heinous charge against Joseph. It just goes to show you that things that happened in bible times, such as rape, slander, adultery, etc, still happens today too!
It is just not fair for those women who are truly raped to get ignored or their incident get 'downplayed' because of the abuse by insensitive women. I remember when I was 16 walking down the street with my girlfriend when for no reason at all she decided to scream 'rape.' It got the attention of firemen at a firehouse nearby. I had to explain to them that she was pulling a joke. For some obvious reason she thought it was funny seeing me freeze???

You are a remarkable & beautiful Christian woman that I hope made a good recovery such a tragic event. I truly enjoy your presence on CC.

 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
65,892
3,683
113
#12
It is just not fair for those women who are truly raped to get ignored or their incident get 'downplayed' because of the abuse by insensitive women. I remember when I was 16 walking down the street with my girlfriend when for no reason at all she decided to scream 'rape.' It got the attention of firemen at a firehouse nearby. I had to explain to them that she was pulling a joke. For some obvious reason she thought it was funny seeing me freeze???

You are a remarkable & beautiful Christian woman that I hope made a good recovery such a tragic event. I truly enjoy your presence on CC.

biscuit, thank you! That means alot to me and I enjoy your presence here also. :) It's taken several years, but yes I've made a recovery. I've finally realized that it was'nt my fault, and that men like that will get what they deserve come judgment day. I wonder what excuse these rapists will try to give God.
 
H

Ho11y

Guest
#15
I really appreciate when people bring up subjects that aren't really talked about a lot. I do think though you (not just you personally) have to be careful not to become consumed or fanatical about it. It's easy when something bad happens to us to then start identifying ourselves as that.

Esanta, as a rape victim myself, nothing "alleviates" the trauma, self-doubt and blame that a victim feels after being violated.
Medication can help.

Thank you for your input on this subject. I appreciate it. By the way, very few, if any at all, rape victims pity their attackers.
Not true. Stockholm syndrome. It happens more than you'd think.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
65,892
3,683
113
#16
Ho11y, medication may help gloss over the trauma, but it does NOT erase it from the victim's mind or memory. I dont think about my rape anymore, even though it still feels like it happened just yesterday. I'm neither consumed nor fanatical about this subject; I am simply trying to bring more attention to a topic that rather often gets swept under the rug like a dirty little secret.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
24,795
3,215
113
63
Florida
#17
I admire your courage blue lady bug in speaking up about this delicate subject detailing the brutality and degradation that is perpetrated against others, and women in particular.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
65,892
3,683
113
#18
I admire your courage blue lady bug in speaking up about this delicate subject detailing the brutality and degradation that is perpetrated against others, and women in particular.
tourist, thank you!! Rape happens to men also, but you rarely ever hear about a man getting raped, or coming forward to report it. I am more than glad to bring awareness and information to others on these types of subjects. :)
 
M

Mooky

Guest
#19
My heart goes out to anyone who has suffered this terrible injustice and my prayer is for healing and restoration for the victim and that justice will be done regarding this crime.As I have a friend who has been assaulted in this way - it is a matter which is close to my heart.

I have a few thoughts on the matter ...1) even if the crime does not recieve it's punishment in this life - the perpetrator will certainly suffer in the life to come if they do not repent.This seems obvious at first - but it is a matter of faith and trust in Gods promise to avenge wrongs done to people who bear His image.
2)It is a terrible thing to mess with anyone but especially with Gods children ...the bible says that it would be better if a millstone were tied around their neck and they were to be drowned in the depths of the ocean than to offend one of Gods little ones (not meaning only children but believers also.)
3) Although people may be calllous and not give the empathy or help required - God knows all and was present when it happened - but for His own reasons allowed it though it grieved Him terribly.That still does not mean that the perpetrator was not fully responsible for their actions but that the victim does not have to feel alone in it - nothing escapes Gods sight. (And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account.
Hebrews 4:13)

4)From what I understand , healing is possible - as with any abuse and forgiveness is part of letting go - which is a process.( A godly christian counsellor of the same gender can aid this process.)
5) The event does not define who you are if you are a child of God...through Christ we are ALWAYS no matter what - more than conquerors - which means that through Christ we are super , abundantly victorious!(Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?
As it is written: "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered."
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.Romans 8:35 -37)

The important thing to remember is that God loves us and is especially close to the broken hearted (the anguish this causes is a form of grief) - but God is there to bind up your wounds and restore your hope.(He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
Psalm 147 :3)

tumblr_m9inacMftf1qid52zo1_500_large.jpg
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
65,892
3,683
113
#20
Thank you, Mooky! I agree completely with your reply. I forgave my rapist (who was also my bf at the time), because I knew his background. He and his brothers were beaten and molested by their parents growing up. Rather often, that behavior repeats itself with the next generation, so I know that he was not, and is not, all there in the head.