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C
Ummmmm ... I know I'm a really random person, and sometimes I love to do 'drive bys' and drop random silly comments ... but in all seriousness, peeps, am I the only one here thinking that this is the most ridiculous topic and title ever, and that our time would be much better spent playing 'ping pong' in our heads?
Utter bibble bobble ... Ok Blessings everyone ... moving on ...
Utter bibble bobble ... Ok Blessings everyone ... moving on ...
Hi goddslife,
I was thinking about this thread today at work. I hope I'm not just rehashing something others have said--I've tried to keep up but may have missed a few posts.
I was thinking of some of the times when a person's looks (or the results that came with it) are mentioned in the Bible.
I truly believe beauty is a gift from God. For reasons unknown to us, God gives different gifts in different amounts to different people (just like money and intelligence), but of course, all gifts from God are good and can be used for His glory.
Here are some examples I was thinking of:
* Sarah, the wife of Abraham, and Rebekah, the wife of his son Isaac, were beautiful. However, this caused them much grief because other men noticed them, too, and you know what their husbands did? They each said, "Here, you can have her--she's not my wife, she's my sister. Just don't kill me and you can take her."
But God remembered these women and saved them. They must have been VERY beautiful, because they were catching the eyes of men of power, prestige, and wealth, and these were the kinds of men who wanted the best and most beautiful of everything.
* Joseph was noticed by Potipher's wife because the Bible says he was "well-built, and handsome"--and then spent 2 years in prison because he refused her and she falsely accused him.
I have often wondered if these well-known Biblical figures had days when they wished they were "plain" enough to not be noticed in this way.
Your post also reminded me of 2 people I used to know:
* One was extremely good-looking, but had gone through much abuse from a young age because of it, then got into drug abuse in order to cope, and eventually learned to use their looks to manipulate others for drugs. This person enjoyed the advantages they received from their looks, but felt as if no one ever saw them as more than a hollow shell.
* The second person I'm thinking of was formerly very good-looking, and did not start out as a Christian. In their younger days, this person spent all their time and energy attracting the opposite sex--it was common for them to go to a party with one person and then leave with someone else.
By the time this person became a Christian and got married, they had put on about 60 pounds and the signs of aging, such as gray hair, wrinkles, and aging (partially due to the party lifestyle, heavy smoking, etc.) had set in. But this person said that although they missed the attention from their former years, it was also a blessing because the lack of attention helped keep this person faithful to their spouse.
Now, I am not in any way saying trying to say that any of this applies to your own life!! But what I'm trying to say is, there are definitely others who feel the way you do, have the same questions, and are struggling with the same things as you. Do you have a home church where you might be able to talk to someone about these feelings? I know that finding someone who can relate is always helpful.
If nothing else, know that even people in the Bible may have struggled with what you're dealing with right now, and God Himself surely understands as well. I hope you find peace in telling Him all your pains, worries, and struggles, and I will be praying for you as well.
Thank you for sharing with us, and God bless.
I was thinking about this thread today at work. I hope I'm not just rehashing something others have said--I've tried to keep up but may have missed a few posts.
I was thinking of some of the times when a person's looks (or the results that came with it) are mentioned in the Bible.
I truly believe beauty is a gift from God. For reasons unknown to us, God gives different gifts in different amounts to different people (just like money and intelligence), but of course, all gifts from God are good and can be used for His glory.
Here are some examples I was thinking of:
* Sarah, the wife of Abraham, and Rebekah, the wife of his son Isaac, were beautiful. However, this caused them much grief because other men noticed them, too, and you know what their husbands did? They each said, "Here, you can have her--she's not my wife, she's my sister. Just don't kill me and you can take her."
But God remembered these women and saved them. They must have been VERY beautiful, because they were catching the eyes of men of power, prestige, and wealth, and these were the kinds of men who wanted the best and most beautiful of everything.
* Joseph was noticed by Potipher's wife because the Bible says he was "well-built, and handsome"--and then spent 2 years in prison because he refused her and she falsely accused him.
I have often wondered if these well-known Biblical figures had days when they wished they were "plain" enough to not be noticed in this way.
Your post also reminded me of 2 people I used to know:
* One was extremely good-looking, but had gone through much abuse from a young age because of it, then got into drug abuse in order to cope, and eventually learned to use their looks to manipulate others for drugs. This person enjoyed the advantages they received from their looks, but felt as if no one ever saw them as more than a hollow shell.
* The second person I'm thinking of was formerly very good-looking, and did not start out as a Christian. In their younger days, this person spent all their time and energy attracting the opposite sex--it was common for them to go to a party with one person and then leave with someone else.
By the time this person became a Christian and got married, they had put on about 60 pounds and the signs of aging, such as gray hair, wrinkles, and aging (partially due to the party lifestyle, heavy smoking, etc.) had set in. But this person said that although they missed the attention from their former years, it was also a blessing because the lack of attention helped keep this person faithful to their spouse.
Now, I am not in any way saying trying to say that any of this applies to your own life!! But what I'm trying to say is, there are definitely others who feel the way you do, have the same questions, and are struggling with the same things as you. Do you have a home church where you might be able to talk to someone about these feelings? I know that finding someone who can relate is always helpful.
If nothing else, know that even people in the Bible may have struggled with what you're dealing with right now, and God Himself surely understands as well. I hope you find peace in telling Him all your pains, worries, and struggles, and I will be praying for you as well.
Thank you for sharing with us, and God bless.
D
Well, yesterday, someone presented the case that Lazerus not only was risen from the dead, but he floated out of his tomb. And then got upset that someone disagreed.
Oh! Ohoh! And then there was that silly woman who posted about herding pigeons.
Whoops! Wait. That was me.
Oh, and then there was that really weird one where some lady wanted to know what the judgement was from God for the redeemed. That was an odd turkey.
Whoops. Sorry. That was me too.
Maybe you need to stop in a while and chat. There are some seriously looney people on here. Oh wait! Thats me too.
G
Seeking 'assurance' can be a good thing. It can help to build 'confidence' and 'stability'.
Seeking 'compliments' is never a good thing:
~ It is vain. It builds neither 'confidence' nor 'stability'; rather, it builds 'ego'.
~ It feeds the frenzy of what will ultimately seduce her into bad decisions.
You 'ask' for assurance. You 'fish' for compliments.
Asking for assurance is honest and straight-forward; fishing for compliments is two-faced and conniving.
You can ask God for 'assurance'. Does anyone ever 'fish' for 'compliments' from God?
See the pattern...?
Fishing for compliments is worldly.
Which is why "fishing compliments" is considered to be harmless "at that age"...
Think about it...
Seeking 'compliments' is never a good thing:
~ It is vain. It builds neither 'confidence' nor 'stability'; rather, it builds 'ego'.
~ It feeds the frenzy of what will ultimately seduce her into bad decisions.
You 'ask' for assurance. You 'fish' for compliments.
Asking for assurance is honest and straight-forward; fishing for compliments is two-faced and conniving.
You can ask God for 'assurance'. Does anyone ever 'fish' for 'compliments' from God?
See the pattern...?
Fishing for compliments is worldly.
Which is why "fishing compliments" is considered to be harmless "at that age"...
Think about it...
G
Btw everyone can look plain if you want to.
"No doubt about it..."
P.S. - Are we sure that this is truly "before and after"...?
She looks older in the 'Before' picture. HAHA. See what "makeup" can do for you?
( I know -- at a young age, they want to look older. However, that changes in time... )
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Hey Godsslife. I know I'm a little late to the thread but I wanted to say a couple of things anyway.
There are a lot of things in life that will be easier to deal with if you don't fight them. Your looks are one of those things. Just try to find ways to make peace with it and handle it in the best way that you can. It's not always going to be easy, but give it your best shot and it will get easier. Accept the way things are and let the world work the way it was designed to work.
It probably seems like a lot of negative things come about from your appearance, and it's easy to start fighting that or blaming your looks for things that happen. But if something bad does happen, understand the real cause behind it so that you don't blame something innocent. If someone is disrespectful to you, it's not because you're pretty, it is because they are disrespectful. And along a similar vein, don't use your looks to excuse sins that you might commit. If you or I or anyone else sins, it's not because they are pretty, but because they were being selfish/prideful/lustful/etc. But simply being pretty is not a crime, and it doesn't HAVE to affect you in any negative way.
The last thing I wanted to say, as an unbiased observer and a sister in Christ, is that you do come across as a little bit combative in your posts. I do understand, I was 17 once and mad about a lot of things. I had about a dozen chips on my own shoulder. So I get it. I'm just letting you know why people might be responding to you in the forums the way that they are.
I know I'm a little late to the thread but I wanted to say a couple of things anyway. There are a lot of things in life that will be easier to deal with if you don't fight them. Your looks are one of those things. Just try to find ways to make peace with it and handle it in the best way that you can. It's not always going to be easy, but give it your best shot and it will get easier. Accept the way things are and let the world work the way it was designed to work.
It probably seems like a lot of negative things come about from your appearance, and it's easy to start fighting that or blaming your looks for things that happen. But if something bad does happen, understand the real cause behind it so that you don't blame something innocent. If someone is disrespectful to you, it's not because you're pretty, it is because they are disrespectful. And along a similar vein, don't use your looks to excuse sins that you might commit. If you or I or anyone else sins, it's not because they are pretty, but because they were being selfish/prideful/lustful/etc. But simply being pretty is not a crime, and it doesn't HAVE to affect you in any negative way.
The last thing I wanted to say, as an unbiased observer and a sister in Christ, is that you do come across as a little bit combative in your posts. I do understand, I was 17 once and mad about a lot of things. I had about a dozen chips on my own shoulder. So I get it. I'm just letting you know why people might be responding to you in the forums the way that they are.
S
I think that is why I don't care that I put my weight back on that I had lost several years ago. I was so flattered by the attention I got from the wrong men, even men from church. I loved the looks and compliments, but I also gravitated toward the wrong men just because of that.
I knew a girl from church many years ago that was absolutely stunning, every single thing on her was perfect and she never wore one bit of makeup either. At a women's meeting the speaker had a word for her. She told the girl not to be ashamed of her looks or try to hide it, God had blessed her and she needed to enjoy the gift but of course without flaunting it. Which she didn't, she was married and very quiet and lady like. But a lot of other women hated her just because she was so gorgeous and it was a burden to her.
I knew a girl from church many years ago that was absolutely stunning, every single thing on her was perfect and she never wore one bit of makeup either. At a women's meeting the speaker had a word for her. She told the girl not to be ashamed of her looks or try to hide it, God had blessed her and she needed to enjoy the gift but of course without flaunting it. Which she didn't, she was married and very quiet and lady like. But a lot of other women hated her just because she was so gorgeous and it was a burden to her.
This is such a great post, Sassy, thank you!!!
We humans often can't relate to someone who has a problem we "wish" we had. Looks are a lot like money--most people scoff and say, "Oh yeah? Get a REAL problem!!" But just because their problem is DIFFERENT doesn't mean it's not REAL.
I used to be part of a church in which the pastor's wife was absolutely stunning, even as she got older--tall, perfect body, blonde, green eyes. In her adult life, she felt God was leading her to compete in a local beauty pageant (Mrs. Southwest) and she was having anxiety attacks because she did NOT want to do it at all. She hated anything that had to do with those types of competitions, and she had no idea how she was going to raise the money for the dresses and entry fees that were required.
But there were a few members of the church who believed in her calling and she wound up sweeping the competition, winning in every single category, which is something no one else had done in the history of the pageant.
Once she won that title, she understood why God had called her to go for it. Her social platform was childhood sexual abuse, and she used her new connections to raise awareness and connect people to healing resources in ways she could have never done as as a pastor's wife.
While it can happen to anyone, extreme beauty had caused men to notice her in all the wrong ways, starting from early childhood, and it was important to her to prevent that from happening to other children. She was using her beauty to prevent others from going through what she went through.
It's very sad though that we humans are bitterly jealous creatures (I've been there myself.) Many of the women in the church would refuse to go to counseling with this woman because of how beautiful she was ("I'm not talking to HER! She looks like a Barbie doll! She would NEVER understand what I'm going through!") and when her husband (our pastor), passed away of cancer, pretty much all the women shunned her because they were afraid of her supposedly stealing their husbands. (She's not like that at all.)
Sigh. And we call ourselves the Body of Christ... but it's ok to hate someone because she's beautiful...
We humans often can't relate to someone who has a problem we "wish" we had. Looks are a lot like money--most people scoff and say, "Oh yeah? Get a REAL problem!!" But just because their problem is DIFFERENT doesn't mean it's not REAL.
I used to be part of a church in which the pastor's wife was absolutely stunning, even as she got older--tall, perfect body, blonde, green eyes. In her adult life, she felt God was leading her to compete in a local beauty pageant (Mrs. Southwest) and she was having anxiety attacks because she did NOT want to do it at all. She hated anything that had to do with those types of competitions, and she had no idea how she was going to raise the money for the dresses and entry fees that were required.
But there were a few members of the church who believed in her calling and she wound up sweeping the competition, winning in every single category, which is something no one else had done in the history of the pageant.
Once she won that title, she understood why God had called her to go for it. Her social platform was childhood sexual abuse, and she used her new connections to raise awareness and connect people to healing resources in ways she could have never done as as a pastor's wife.
While it can happen to anyone, extreme beauty had caused men to notice her in all the wrong ways, starting from early childhood, and it was important to her to prevent that from happening to other children. She was using her beauty to prevent others from going through what she went through.
It's very sad though that we humans are bitterly jealous creatures (I've been there myself.) Many of the women in the church would refuse to go to counseling with this woman because of how beautiful she was ("I'm not talking to HER! She looks like a Barbie doll! She would NEVER understand what I'm going through!") and when her husband (our pastor), passed away of cancer, pretty much all the women shunned her because they were afraid of her supposedly stealing their husbands. (She's not like that at all.)
Sigh. And we call ourselves the Body of Christ... but it's ok to hate someone because she's beautiful...
G
And my old self would curse you off for thinking something so stupid...it really hurts my heart that there are people who are cold in the heart speically when they believe theyre gods children ... I will pray for the two of you... Think what you want of me but youre no one to judge someone else and you don't even know me which is sad
G
Hey Godsslife. I know I'm a little late to the thread but I wanted to say a couple of things anyway.
There are a lot of things in life that will be easier to deal with if you don't fight them. Your looks are one of those things. Just try to find ways to make peace with it and handle it in the best way that you can. It's not always going to be easy, but give it your best shot and it will get easier. Accept the way things are and let the world work the way it was designed to work.
It probably seems like a lot of negative things come about from your appearance, and it's easy to start fighting that or blaming your looks for things that happen. But if something bad does happen, understand the real cause behind it so that you don't blame something innocent. If someone is disrespectful to you, it's not because you're pretty, it is because they are disrespectful. And along a similar vein, don't use your looks to excuse sins that you might commit. If you or I or anyone else sins, it's not because they are pretty, but because they were being selfish/prideful/lustful/etc. But simply being pretty is not a crime, and it doesn't HAVE to affect you in any negative way.
The last thing I wanted to say, as an unbiased observer and a sister in Christ, is that you do come across as a little bit combative in your posts. I do understand, I was 17 once and mad about a lot of things. I had about a dozen chips on my own shoulder. So I get it. I'm just letting you know why people might be responding to you in the forums the way that they are.
I know I'm a little late to the thread but I wanted to say a couple of things anyway. There are a lot of things in life that will be easier to deal with if you don't fight them. Your looks are one of those things. Just try to find ways to make peace with it and handle it in the best way that you can. It's not always going to be easy, but give it your best shot and it will get easier. Accept the way things are and let the world work the way it was designed to work.
It probably seems like a lot of negative things come about from your appearance, and it's easy to start fighting that or blaming your looks for things that happen. But if something bad does happen, understand the real cause behind it so that you don't blame something innocent. If someone is disrespectful to you, it's not because you're pretty, it is because they are disrespectful. And along a similar vein, don't use your looks to excuse sins that you might commit. If you or I or anyone else sins, it's not because they are pretty, but because they were being selfish/prideful/lustful/etc. But simply being pretty is not a crime, and it doesn't HAVE to affect you in any negative way.
The last thing I wanted to say, as an unbiased observer and a sister in Christ, is that you do come across as a little bit combative in your posts. I do understand, I was 17 once and mad about a lot of things. I had about a dozen chips on my own shoulder. So I get it. I'm just letting you know why people might be responding to you in the forums the way that they are.
Thank you sister for a great advice and taking the time to read this.. Yes i come off a bit dry to some that get me on my nerves because they call themselves christians and judge me already with their hurtful words just because a post i did .. Its very sad.. No one on this earth should judge other before judging themselves ... Anyways i try my best to understand them and be compassionate but when your eyes open with god anger fills you up when hypocrites call themselves christians or jehovahs witness ..
C
That's just horrible. Really. One collegue has a really beautiful wife and my female collegue, when we visited them when they got a kid, immediately assumed she was arrogant and unfriendly, just because she was beautiful. Lol she said totally surprised afterwards: She's really friendly! Unbelievable.
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