AND THE CEO's LAY OUTETH THEIR ARMS AND HANDS AND SAID: "LET THERE BE STEAM!" :
In the beginning Star Bucks created the Stream and the Store. And the Store was without form, and void; and the darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of Star Bucks moved upon the face of the earth.
And Star Bucks (which I now will reference as S.B.) said, "Let there be sales!": and there was sales. And S.B. saw the sales, and found them to be good: and S.B. divided the sales from the darkness. And S.B. called the sales Summer & Winter, and the darkness he called "NotSales." And the sales and the NotSales were the first day.
And S.B. said, Let there be firmament ( or expansion) in the midst of the Steams, and let it divide the Steams from the Steams. And S.B. called the firmament; Store(s). And the evening and the morning were the second day.
And S.B. said, Let the Steams under the Store be gathered together unto one representable icon, and let the purchasing appear: and it was so. And S.B. called the purchasing "The establishment" and the gathering together of the Steams called he; "Caffeine-Times." And S.B saw that it was good. And S.B. said, "Let the earth bring forth establishment #2, and foods of the essence of the earth yielding seed after its kind, and the establishment yielding from its fruit, whose seed was after its kind: and S.B. saw it was good food, thus saw it was good. And the evening and the morning were the third day.
And S.B. said, Let there be sales in firmament of the Store to divide the day from the night; and let them be for signs, and for seasons, and for days, and years: And let them be for sales in the formation of the store to give sales upon the earth: and it was so. And S.B. made two great sales; the greater Summer sale to rule the day, and lesser weekend deals over the night, and to divide the sales from the NotSales: and S.B. saw that it was good. And the evening and the morning were the fourth day.
And S.B. said, Let the sales bring forth abundantly the moving creature (Ordained by S.B. to be) called "Customer" who was earthen-bound, yet above the Steam in the firmament of Stores. And S.B. created great sales, and every living sale that moveth, which it brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and S.B. came into revelation to the notice of what he called: "proactive Bean emitter competition," after his own kind: and S.B. saw that it was, yet, good. And S.B. blessed them saying, "Buy other Beans and give me your wallets, and fill a under-portion of the Steam in the "Caffeine-Times" and let customers multiply in the Steam, all the more!"; and S.B. called this "Thy competitive edge." And the evening and the morning were the fifth day.
And S.B. said, Let us make product in our image, after our likeness; and let them have dominion over the 90% of the Caffeine-times and over the foul of the earth, that being "customers", and over the cattle (this is still being amended thru the courts as to how to implement this successfully), and over all the Steam. And over every creeping sale that has purchased upon the Steam. So S.B. created sales in his own image, in the image of S.B. created he him; CEO and CEO 2 created he them.. And S.B. blessed them, and the Warehouse of S.B. went forth to represent S.B. saying,, "Buy product and give me your wallets, and replenish Steam growth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the sale of the Caffeine-Times and over the foul of the air, that being customers, and over every living sale that moveth upon the Steam," so sayeth I who speaks not on my own behalf but on behalf of my S.B.'s will.Hence forth let all sales have a commission attached and bring to the store house 10% of your sales to S.B.( S.B. will absorb, yet, all the more as he extrudes it out of the profit margins of the products)..
And S.B. said, Behold, I have given you every sale, which is upon the face of all the Steam, and every product in which is the fruit of the earth, which is of that of Steam: to you I shall be for sales. And to every beast and Dove of the Steam, wherein there is sales, I have given every growth for CEO's: and it was so. And S.B. saw everything that he made, and behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day.
This definitely belongs in the "Things that make ya go Hmmmmm!" Groups.
By the way I love star bucks and drink coffee all the time! Just a spoof! F.Y.I.