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missyhen

New member
Apr 21, 2019
1
1
3
#1
I’m not exactly certain as to how many people will read my introduction thread, but my goal to be here, in all honesty, is definitely for support. Secondly, is there anyone out there going through a similar situation that I’m about to share? Happily married for 18 years, as of 10 months ago my husband in sharing his heart said he no longer loved me, that his feelings were numb for me. The 10 month journey has shattered my heart beyond anything I ever could’ve imagined in my 54 years of life. My story is lengthy but I will try to keep it to the shorter version, I truly believe that my husband is riding on a roller coaster filled with depression related to midlife crisis. He has been teacher for 30+ years & has recently announced his retirement less than 13 months away. He has shared his heart and his thoughts regarding the retirement that scares him because this is all he knows. His workplace has definitely become his identity over the last 30 years. The changes I see in him in the last 10 months frighten me. He is a completely different person! On a positive note, we are both seeing counselors.. I chose a Christian counselor, he did not (not that that’s a bad thing). I certainly have an awareness of a coworker that has become a friend and yes, turned into an emotional affair. When I attempt to speak truth to him I certainly see he’s blinded and feels that this relationship is OK. He in No way feels that what he’s doing could truly lead to the death of “us”. Unfortunately this coworker is who he is training to take his place once he leaves. Such a complex situation but I did not see this coming this was almost like a light switch.. very quick! As I said before, my heart has been shattered beyond measure. He did end up leaving last summer for three months. We are currently back living in the same house until he can gain insight/answers with counseling. Although divorce was discussed, no hasty decisions are being made. God is good I know he has great plans for me and for my husband and for our marriage. I know God loves marriage! I guess my ultimate goal here is to have prayer warriors to hold us up, as I see so many of these situations with not very positive outcomes . I see such a spiritual warfare going on within my husband. He is such a good man.
Please help.
 
Oct 12, 2012
1,563
928
113
65
#2
I’m not exactly certain as to how many people will read my introduction thread, but my goal to be here, in all honesty, is definitely for support. Secondly, is there anyone out there going through a similar situation that I’m about to share? Happily married for 18 years, as of 10 months ago my husband in sharing his heart said he no longer loved me, that his feelings were numb for me. The 10 month journey has shattered my heart beyond anything I ever could’ve imagined in my 54 years of life. My story is lengthy but I will try to keep it to the shorter version, I truly believe that my husband is riding on a roller coaster filled with depression related to midlife crisis. He has been teacher for 30+ years & has recently announced his retirement less than 13 months away. He has shared his heart and his thoughts regarding the retirement that scares him because this is all he knows. His workplace has definitely become his identity over the last 30 years. The changes I see in him in the last 10 months frighten me. He is a completely different person! On a positive note, we are both seeing counselors.. I chose a Christian counselor, he did not (not that that’s a bad thing). I certainly have an awareness of a coworker that has become a friend and yes, turned into an emotional affair. When I attempt to speak truth to him I certainly see he’s blinded and feels that this relationship is OK. He in No way feels that what he’s doing could truly lead to the death of “us”. Unfortunately this coworker is who he is training to take his place once he leaves. Such a complex situation but I did not see this coming this was almost like a light switch.. very quick! As I said before, my heart has been shattered beyond measure. He did end up leaving last summer for three months. We are currently back living in the same house until he can gain insight/answers with counseling. Although divorce was discussed, no hasty decisions are being made. God is good I know he has great plans for me and for my husband and for our marriage. I know God loves marriage! I guess my ultimate goal here is to have prayer warriors to hold us up, as I see so many of these situations with not very positive outcomes . I see such a spiritual warfare going on within my husband. He is such a good man.
Please help.
Well MissyHen, welcome to the CC! Come hang out in the family forums and meet some folks!! 🔥🙏😇
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,630
9,294
113
#3
Welcome to CC. The Ladies forum is the best place to tell us about your marital problems.. :)
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
16,514
9,025
113
#4
Welcome to CC, Missyhen, and sorry to hear of your marital challenges. They certainly aren't rare, sadly.
 

Godsgirl83

Well-known member
Apr 1, 2019
6,125
4,195
113
#5
Hello Missyhen. Welcome to the CC. Spend some time clucking around :oops:I mean clicking around the forums. I have no doubt you'll some inspiration and meet a few new friends and support along the way. In the mean time, you're in my prayers.
 

TabinRivCA

Well-known member
Oct 23, 2018
6,552
6,280
113
#6
Welcome to CC and glad to meet you. There is a prayer request forum as well as the others. You will find many that will pray for you both and I am one of them. God bless!
 

Bingo

Well-known member
Feb 9, 2019
3,691
2,754
113
#7
I’m not exactly certain as to how many people will read my introduction thread, but my goal to be here, in all honesty, is definitely for support. Secondly, is there anyone out there going through a similar situation that I’m about to share? Happily married for 18 years, as of 10 months ago my husband in sharing his heart said he no longer loved me, that his feelings were numb for me. The 10 month journey has shattered my heart beyond anything I ever could’ve imagined in my 54 years of life. My story is lengthy but I will try to keep it to the shorter version, I truly believe that my husband is riding on a roller coaster filled with depression related to midlife crisis. He has been teacher for 30+ years & has recently announced his retirement less than 13 months away. He has shared his heart and his thoughts regarding the retirement that scares him because this is all he knows. His workplace has definitely become his identity over the last 30 years. The changes I see in him in the last 10 months frighten me. He is a completely different person! On a positive note, we are both seeing counselors.. I chose a Christian counselor, he did not (not that that’s a bad thing). I certainly have an awareness of a coworker that has become a friend and yes, turned into an emotional affair. When I attempt to speak truth to him I certainly see he’s blinded and feels that this relationship is OK. He in No way feels that what he’s doing could truly lead to the death of “us”. Unfortunately this coworker is who he is training to take his place once he leaves. Such a complex situation but I did not see this coming this was almost like a light switch.. very quick! As I said before, my heart has been shattered beyond measure. He did end up leaving last summer for three months. We are currently back living in the same house until he can gain insight/answers with counseling. Although divorce was discussed, no hasty decisions are being made. God is good I know he has great plans for me and for my husband and for our marriage. I know God loves marriage! I guess my ultimate goal here is to have prayer warriors to hold us up, as I see so many of these situations with not very positive outcomes . I see such a spiritual warfare going on within my husband. He is such a good man.
Please help.
"Hello.....Welcome to CC.........:)
"Sharing our experiences...hopes, interests, faith...life happening in general.
For we are here to learn, share, love, appreciate and to give of ourselves."
'Praise God'
 

Attachments

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
33,730
11,460
113
66
Tennessee
#8
There are many here that are in the midst or have suffered traumatic marital stress and anxiety. Your husband is acting inappropriately and should cease and desist immediately but, of course, he will do want he wants to do. He is grossly insensitive to you regarding the situation at his work. Possibly, it would be best for him to simply resign and allow someone else to train this person. Hopefully, you will find comfort, support and understanding from the members of this site. Glad to have you as part of our family. Welcome to CC.
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
34,981
12,539
113
#9


I am so sorry to hear of your distress :(




 

oyster67

Senior Member
May 24, 2014
4,644
3,894
113
#11
I am so sorry. That must hurt so much. I am glad that you believe in the power of God and the power of prayer. You are very wise. It is such a shame that there are not more like you in this cold and lonely world.

You are so precious in the sight of the Lord. I and many of the others here love you very much. We want to stand near to you, pray for you, and pray with you at this time.

"I do not know what the future holds, but I know who holds our hands."

Feel free to talk to me any time. I will be praying for you, Missyhen.
 

Didymous

Senior Member
Feb 22, 2018
5,047
2,085
113
#12
Hello, Missyhen, and welcome! I have prayed, and will continue to do so.