Striving perfectionist evangelical, grace struggling and offline

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May 12, 2019
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#1
Was wanting a general forum but can't really find one suitable...

Anyway basically, potted history, I've been a Christian 30 years, from being a teen was in evangelical church where 'doing enough for God/witnessing enough' etc etc was the culture. Grace was mentioned but not really shown or felt. This culture pushed all my perfectionist buttons. Fast forward on a few years, after poor mental health due to circumstances and big work life balance changes, moving out of that church culture into one where the pressure feels off and grace is more present, I do the Freedom in Christ course and it blows my idea of my faith out of the water. I realise my flawed relationship with my real dad, mixed with previous culture and personality type massively means my relationship with God is tinted by a false view of God as one who is disappointed in me.

Fast forward again, my faith/relationship with God has failed to kick start now for several months as I don't know where to start in rebuilding my faulty faith.

I'm in Christian counseling but would really like some advice on how to start rebuilding. Recommendation of book? Needs to be grace based. Would reading the alpha course help or does that lean to the striving/do more style of Christianity?
Sorry long post. Thanks for genuine advice. Trolls will be ignored. X
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
67,160
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#2
Welcome to CC. :)

The best forum to get answers to your questions here, would probably be the Family or Bible forum. :)
 
Oct 12, 2012
1,405
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#3
Was wanting a general forum but can't really find one suitable...

Anyway basically, potted history, I've been a Christian 30 years, from being a teen was in evangelical church where 'doing enough for God/witnessing enough' etc etc was the culture. Grace was mentioned but not really shown or felt. This culture pushed all my perfectionist buttons. Fast forward on a few years, after poor mental health due to circumstances and big work life balance changes, moving out of that church culture into one where the pressure feels off and grace is more present, I do the Freedom in Christ course and it blows my idea of my faith out of the water. I realise my flawed relationship with my real dad, mixed with previous culture and personality type massively means my relationship with God is tinted by a false view of God as one who is disappointed in me.

Fast forward again, my faith/relationship with God has failed to kick start now for several months as I don't know where to start in rebuilding my faulty faith.

I'm in Christian counseling but would really like some advice on how to start rebuilding. Recommendation of book? Needs to be grace based. Would reading the alpha course help or does that lean to the striving/do more style of Christianity?
Sorry long post. Thanks for genuine advice. Trolls will be ignored. X
Hey Random, stick around God will meet you right where you're at, don't worry He knows right where you're at! Welcome to the CC! 🔥🙏🤪
 

TabinRivCA

Well-known member
Oct 23, 2018
1,650
1,433
113
#4
Was wanting a general forum but can't really find one suitable...

Anyway basically, potted history, I've been a Christian 30 years, from being a teen was in evangelical church where 'doing enough for God/witnessing enough' etc etc was the culture. Grace was mentioned but not really shown or felt. This culture pushed all my perfectionist buttons. Fast forward on a few years, after poor mental health due to circumstances and big work life balance changes, moving out of that church culture into one where the pressure feels off and grace is more present, I do the Freedom in Christ course and it blows my idea of my faith out of the water. I realise my flawed relationship with my real dad, mixed with previous culture and personality type massively means my relationship with God is tinted by a false view of God as one who is disappointed in me.

Fast forward again, my faith/relationship with God has failed to kick start now for several months as I don't know where to start in rebuilding my faulty faith.

I'm in Christian counseling but would really like some advice on how to start rebuilding. Recommendation of book? Needs to be grace based. Would reading the alpha course help or does that lean to the striving/do more style of Christianity?
Sorry long post. Thanks for genuine advice. Trolls will be ignored. X
Welcome to CC and nice to meet you. Re your view of God, He is our Heavenly Father, who says how much better is He being perfect and full of love, than our earthly fathers who love us.
The real perspective of God is how much He loves us, to the point where whenever we goof, if we repent, He says He will forget our sin.
Sometimes I look up 'topics in the Bible and you might put in 'how do I know God loves me?'. I can think of so many verses, that you would find.
I certainly hope to hear from you in the other forums and God bless you!
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
25,609
4,037
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#5


The Alpha course is great for anyone (including believers), though
it is geared more to informing people of Who Jesus Christ is,
and convincing non-believers of the Truth of God's Word :)
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
27,047
5,407
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#6
Not too many trolls read the introductory posts. I would follow Lady Blue's advice. Glad to have you join us. Welcome to CC.
 

Deade

Called of God
Dec 17, 2017
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#7
Hello Random, welcome to Christian Chat. I hope you'll enjoy your stay here.

glitter-hello-text-smiley-emoticon.gif

 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
8,988
3,772
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#8
Welcome to CC, Random! I hope you find what you are seeking. :)
 
Mar 1, 2019
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#10
Hi Random, if you can get onto you tube and listen to Joseph Prince, he may help. He has helped me. He takes the pressure off. Some people don't like him but as I said, he has helped me.
 

Adstar

Senior Member
Jul 24, 2016
4,557
1,447
113
#11
Was wanting a general forum but can't really find one suitable...

Anyway basically, potted history, I've been a Christian 30 years, from being a teen was in evangelical church where 'doing enough for God/witnessing enough' etc etc was the culture. Grace was mentioned but not really shown or felt. This culture pushed all my perfectionist buttons. Fast forward on a few years, after poor mental health due to circumstances and big work life balance changes, moving out of that church culture into one where the pressure feels off and grace is more present, I do the Freedom in Christ course and it blows my idea of my faith out of the water. I realise my flawed relationship with my real dad, mixed with previous culture and personality type massively means my relationship with God is tinted by a false view of God as one who is disappointed in me.

Fast forward again, my faith/relationship with God has failed to kick start now for several months as I don't know where to start in rebuilding my faulty faith.

I'm in Christian counseling but would really like some advice on how to start rebuilding. Recommendation of book? Needs to be grace based. Would reading the alpha course help or does that lean to the striving/do more style of Christianity?
Sorry long post. Thanks for genuine advice. Trolls will be ignored. X
The Book i would recommend is the Bible.. Yeah might sound obvious but you will be surprised how many Christians put it last on their list of things to do..

I would read the New Testament again while praying for wisdom..
 

oyster67

Senior Member
May 24, 2014
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#12
I think God has led you to the right place, sister! I think you will get along just fine in the BDF (Bible Discussion Forum).

Godspeed.
 
Dec 9, 2018
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#14
would really like some advice on how to start rebuilding
Hello Random, welcome to CChat! (thought I'd start at the beginning since it's our first time to meet). For all of the ups and downs of your journey, it sounds like you are right where you need to be now, at a place where you're open and seeking a strong and rebuilt relationship with your heavenly Father.

It seems like God often has to take everything that we've been taught and "built" into being (that's been named to be "Christian")------ razes it to the ground, sometimes through a crisis of faith where we may question or doubt.. or maybe even through circumstances of life that sort of blow our lives as we know them to be apart... or... nothing... ---- but then He draws us back to Him... and will rebuild us in a more solid faith and relationship with Him. Just don't give up-- and it sounds like you haven't, and aren't! :giggle:

Now as others have said before me, the most important thing that you can do is to read your Bible and talk to your heavenly Father. There are forums here for specific questions or discussions that might arise, but your very best way of building is to go to the "source" and then go from there.

As far as recommending a particular place to you for where to start in the Bible, I don't know that. If there is a particular question that you have or topic that you'd like to know about... or a particular need that you have... maybe doing searches for Bible passages about those things might be a good place to start. The most important thing is just that you do it. And that you talk openly with God along the way. And spend time thinking about what you've read where it becomes a part of you and the way that you think. I've been in a similar place to where you are and it seemed so daunting. But I think the first steps are the hardest.. then the momentum builds and it gets easier.

I hope that you'll find much encouragement and wisdom from being a part of the CChat community. Welcome