Phishing For Love -- Why Do So Many People Still Take the Bait?

Hey Everyone,

A friend recently shared some screenshots of an extraordinarily beautiful "woman" who was trying to to contact him under the premise of supposedly being interested in him. It didn't take long before "she" was asking him to send her money (specifically, US dollars) so that she could "take care of a few things."

Fortunately, this guys has seen all the lines and knows not to fall for them.

With internet pickups/dating apps now being an everyday thing, it seems most everyone would also know about their common pitfalls, such as the myriad of scammers who are phishing for money.

I would have to guess that pretty much everyone who participates in such sites on the internet knows all about these scams and how they're carried out.

But yet... People still seem to fall for them all the time. I wrote a post a while back about working in a store with money transfers, and how we saw several elderly people who were literally sending thousands of dollars every week to their "friends" and "significant others." These "people" were always in other countries, had never met the senders, but were always "in trouble" and "needed money." We even asked the police to speak to one particularly sweet elderly woman, but she refused to accept that anything "phishy" might be going on--until she was taken for about $5000--and then she wanted the police to do something about it.

* Why is is that people are so willing to believe something right in front of them that is obviously a lie?

* Do they somehow think that they are going to be the exception, and yes, that gorgeous 25-year-old model REALLY DOES want to marry them, if only they send them $500 after the first conversation?

* Have you ever had a situation (it can be anything, not just a dating situation) in which you could see all the red flags, but went ahead and took the bait anyway?

Why, despite all the warnings, are we often so quick to throw ourselves into the trap?

Good question, Kim. I think we all just want to believe that we are the exception to the rule. Most people will know the statistics...but they don't seem to care. They think that those stats don't apply to them. For example, my friend from high school was pregnant senior year. She knew the stats...that teen mothers usually don't graduate from college. She didn't care. She kept telling us all that she would go to college and finish. She went and dropped out the first semester.

I think people should pay more attention to statistics. I mean don't let them rule your life...but definitely read up on them.
I hate to say this...but people who do online dating do it because they can't find anyone in real life. So if you try online dating...you're already getting the bottom of the barrel if you will... I don't mean to offend anyone out there. I'm sorry, but if you look at online profiles...you'll soon realize that most of the people there have very little to offer as far as relationships go. There are exceptions though...like us as Christians. Our pool is small so sometimes we may feel we need to go online. But even then...online relationships are tricky.

We have been sold a lie that a relationship is how the story ends. Once you find your life partner...you will live happily ever after. So when we find ourselves single and older each year...we get desperate so we go online. If we see an attractive man/woman who gives us the attention we so desperately desire...we easily fall!
Check out the show 90 Day Finance...

Fiance not Finance...

The Answer is simple:: Some people want to believe the lie is true so much that they are incapable of seeing the truth for a long time..

My first response is an old quote: "There's a sucker born every minute." No matter how many people know about phishing, somewhere there is somebody who has never heard of it and is looking at the bait dangling in front of him.

My second response is to remember a study about people who make these phishing scams. They really study human nature, these phishers, and they target these phishing scams more than you would believe.

For example, have you ever read a phishing email and thought, "Man, what atrocious spelling! Nobody would ever fall for that one." The atrocious spelling is actually deliberate, as a reply filter. They know most people will disregard the phishing letter because of the spelling... so the phishers are saving time by not having to sort through a lot of replies just to get the suckers, because the people who actually reply are probably going to be gullible enough to send them money.

Well in the case of the elderly, they just tend to be vulnerable and easily manipulated, and a lot of times these scams are meant to induce a panic in them that makes them makes the amount of money requested or demanded worth putting an end to the stress. My grandmother was contacted one day a few years ago by someone telling her that her grandson had been drinking and was in jail. She called my parents' house and then talked to me directly and asked me if I had been drinking and told me what happened. It didn't take long to put her at ease about the situation, and it really ticked me off that someone would do that to her. I have heard similar stories like this as well. The elderly person is called and told that one of their close relatives is going to prison unless they send a certain sum of money.
As far as catfishing and phishing for money goes, I think you just have to realize that there are people who make a living out of this type of thing. They make an art out of emotionally manipulating people to the point where they can start getting money out of them. Some people have such a strong desire for love that they will go to great lengths to keep it.
Then there are other scenarios where you have a person who is lonely and hurting who just wants attention and affection, so they will flirt and say really nice things that they don't mean and establish emotional connection just to escape the loneliness and hurt. This happens often right here on this site among Singles folks. This is the hardest type of trap to avoid because you are talking to someone whose intention isn't really to scam you, they just want to use you. And sometimes the people who are using others this way don't fully realize that they are doing it. It's just an example of how hurt people hurt people.

My tolerance for emotional manipulation has always been incredibly low, but I have had a couple instances where I was flat-out lied to for an extended period of time, but there was never any money asked for or given in that situation. It was more a case of a hurt person looking for emotional connection. I'm not the type who is quick to offer up money anyway when asked even by someone online even who I think legitimately needs it because I think it's just not a good look for the person asking, nor is it a good idea for the person giving to get into that habit even if they do mean well. I am someone, though, who is very good at being emotionally available and has often played counselor to hurting people. What I didn't realize at the time was that hurting people tend to use and hurt other people, so I wasn't ready to look out for that at the time. But you live and you learn as they say.

It's easy for someone who is lonely to feel hopeful, and for that hope to give way to compassion, which in turn fuels the hope that the person will respond positively and something more will come of it.

The safest thing to do is, if someone you've never met in person asks for money, block the connection without responding further. Unless you happen to be James Veitch.

When they ask for $500, I always require a $1000 deposit from them in advance.

This reminds me of a song ("Strong Enough") by Sheryl Crow, in which she sings, "Lie to me... I promise, I'll believe. Lie to me... But please, don't leave."

And now this has me thinking of all the other times that people will choose to believe a lie out of desperation.

I didn't find out about my then-husband's girlfriend until after he divorced me, but I remember thinking in the aftermath that even if I had known at the time, I probably would have told him the same thing as what Sheryl is singing in this song, "Lie to me and tell me that you're not going to see her again. I'll turn my head, I'll make excuses for you, I'll do whatever it takes... I promise, I'll believe... Just please, please, please... Don't leave."

Isn't it terrible, the things we want to believe...

People often see only what they want to see and scammers..like satan..are VERY sly..say and do all the right things etc...older people were RAISED to be trusting of each other..not like todays society that no one trusts another...plus..add lonliness on top of that..spells disaster

Yeah....I was a victim...not only once but 3 times ( not dating scam)yeah I know...I am quite you know...but I learned my lessons and tried not to act based on my emotions when I heard about sad stories from the person... Because most of the time my emotions can easily cloud and influence my decisions...


Victims of scams are more trusting and kind people...that's my observations...

Right now, on this site, I'm receiving PMs from someone who is a scammer.

Helpful tip: if they ask to communicate right away off site, it's because they want to maintain the scam with you, if they get banned from the site.

Scott from texas?

No, Angelina from Texas.... but probably same person. They are using the handle Angel12

They asked to chat on Hangouts, so I gave them my hangouts address I use for scambaiting

This guy scott..contacted me today..i told that last timr he contacted me it didnt go well .knew he contacted other woman and was VERY persistant bout getting personal infl...IGNORE

I'm sure it's the same Nigerian scammer.

SCAMMER..SCOTT FROM TEXAS

See below..

That seems like a red flag