Divorce?

Not hardly...thanks for the laugh

MissingLove, I see that you are new here. How about spending more time with us here and making new friends? Maybe we can help you out by praying for you and other married people can give you insights. Welcome to CC and we are happy to have you here. I promise, not everyone is disrespectful like some of the people you have already encountered. God bless you, sis!

Thank you I appreciate that. Prayers are always appreciated and needed! I’d love to get to know some people here you can always use more Christian friends. 😊

Don't be afraid of getting married based on what you have seen and experienced.

My mum was married 4 times and had numerous lovers in-between.

My 2 brothers have been married and divorced, left wife a kids.
Divorce and adultery had has been rife in the wider family.

I was engaged to a Christian girl.
Shocking as it is, I knew it wasn't right and had settled on divorce at some point in the future.

I eventually broke it off.

I fell in love with a Christian lady, after doing a prodical on and came back to church. Felt it was so right, really felt God say to me this is your wife, but I broke that off because of fear of divorce and my severe anxiety of emotional attachment.

We are soon to celebrate 25 years of marriage.
I let my past experiences and hurts and confusion to define my future.
This we should never do.
God defines our future and uses our past to define our future, through healing and replacing lies with truth.

My beautiful wife whom I love much more than I could ever have imagined and loves me more than I can ever have imagined have always tried to walk with each other as follows.

God you change me and I will let you to change Bill (that's me)
Keep short accounts.
Be willing to discuss and be honest.
Do not go to bed angry.

We endeavour to make God the center of our lives and as a result him the center of our marriage.

A God centered marriage that focuses on loving each other as he loves us will bear fruit.

So don't be afraid.

From what I have read and watched on the subject, divorce is acceptable under cases of abandonment and abuse. Whether your situation constitutes abandonment, that's more up to your interpretation than mine. If the guy wasn't being honest and forthcoming with his intentions prior to marriage, the fault falls more with him I would think.

I believe it is very important to spend a lot of time getting to know someone before marriage. At least a year or so, so you can get some idea of their cycles of behavior and character. If you can't spend a year getting to know someone, how can you expect a lifetime to make up for it?

We dated 2 years before we got married. He wasn’t like this while we were dating. If I knew this is how it was going to be I wouldn’t have married him. I’m a very emotional person and I need emotion in return. If he won’t go to counseling with me or see a Dr I don’t know what other recourse I have. I even went to counseling alone for 6 months...counselor finally told me there was nothing left she could do for me unless my husband comes...which he refuses like all other times.

hi missing love,sorry to read about your situation,its really hard when your spo use refuses help or counselling,would you consider separating or not?

Well, maybe just bite the bullet and go through with the divorce. It seems like you've already convinced yourself that is what you want to do.

The recourse that you have is to focus more on his needs and less on your own.

I thought about leaving for a few days see if that would shake him up a little but idk.

I’ve run out of options it seems. I can’t make him do anything.

Nope. The only person you can control is yourself.

i just wondered if it would show that your serious

I've been told to get to know someone for two years before dating them.

We did date 2 years...2 years and 6 months actually

That’s my thoughts.... i’ve said too many times that things need to get better and I’ve never put any action behind it .

Greetings sister. My name is Timothy and If I may suggest. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLfrVAhBCOWAniDGUshBg34_oOtT3PcI_n
I love this Ministry for marriage advice. They helped me. Its good to here from people who have overcome. Even if just to know your on the right track with the right heart. Following Messiahs Example.
Blessings

He said get to know someone for 2 years BEFORE dating them...

I assume he was being funny, but you paid less attention to what he was saying and more attention to what you wanted to say.

I would consider that a symptom of the problems you are currently experiencing.

Look, I get it. Nobody likes to hear that they are selfish. But we all are; it's the human condition. Overcoming that human nature and really learning to love, selflessly, is our greatest mission in life.

I'd recommend watching the YouTube videos with Patrick Boyle. He's a Christian counselor in Oregon. His material is available through the channel TheDoveTV on YT. If nothing else, his material will give you some pointers for your own path.