Hey Everyone,
I've been doing some personal reflection lately and have been thinking about this subject a lot.
Admittedly, when someone says they're struggling, I'll be the first one to suggest going for "help", whether in the form of reading books, taking classes, talking to those in power, seeking medical treatment, support groups -- whatever means are out there (within legal and Christian boundaries) -- I would fully support.
However, as I think about my own life, I think about all the things I've tried... And have to wonder if they really helped much at all.
My last venture was looking up online support groups for disordered eating (which I think most everyone suffers from to an extent these days.) I was working too much to really commit to a regular real-life meeting, and I like that the online world can work around most any schedule one may have.
But what I seemed to find was a lot of people beating themselves up over their daily food choices, such as, "I ate a donut today -- I'm a total loser, and I hate myself."
Now, I'm certainly not trying to criticize, because I've often felt that way myself. But as I spent a little more time around the group, it seemed to be going in a constant circle of self-flagellation rather than moving away from the cycle and in a healthier direction. I realize it might take some time to get to that point, but I knew I couldn't stay there or I would quickly move in that direction, too.
Another time, I went to a doctor with some concerns about both my physical and emotional health -- and walked out of the office with 6 prescriptions. I threw all of them away except one, which was for a temporary physical ailment, and I stopped taking it as soon as the pain was gone. I'd gone the meds route before, and I wasn't interested in being put on another cornucopia of drugs.
I found it ironic that I am always telling people to go for help, and yet, when I really think about, the professional or established help I tried to get over the years generally proved ineffective. In all honesty, I think the things that helped me most were the every day people who took the time to listen to me over the years, bit by bit. But I don't want to be a hypocrite in suggesting to other people to seek out whatever resources they can.
I still believe in seeking out help, because I realize that different things may work differently for different people. And this is where I'd like to turn to all of you.
As singles, we are all told to spend all this glorious single time getting closer (no sarcasm here!) to the Lord and making ourselves better for a future spouse.
But how has that been working out for everyone?
* What kinds of help have you sought over the years, and what did you find to be effective or not?
* If you could change something about "the system", what would it be? (What things do you believe would be more effective in helping people?) Would you make more services anonymous? Would you want to see the stigma/shame around certain issues removed?
* If someone came to you with a problem, would you recommend that they go for help, and what kinds of things would you recommend to them? (Counselor, doctor, group, 12-step program, meds, etc.)
I realize this is a very general way of talking about a subject that can be highly specific -- people with very different problems will also need very different strategies. But this is exactly why I'm hoping this discussion will be interesting -- because everyone will have their own personal experience, which might be completely different from the next person.
I also realize that this topic could be too personal for some. If you'd still like to contribute, maybe you could write a post about something you've observed in someone else's life (or write as if you were talking about a friend), if you don't want to talk about yourself. Please DON'T feel that you have to list what you have struggled with AT ALL -- you can write your entire post around a generic, unnamed "issue" so that no one has to know what it is you've been seeking help for.
I'm also trying to think of an anonymous, multiple-choice poll to add that will hopefully get the conversation started. Unfortunately, the poll limits won't let me put in as many answers as I'd like, but we'll work with what we've got.
I'm really hoping people will want to share, and I'm looking forward to learning from your answers.
Feel free to ask for prayer as well, if you'd like the rest of us to pray with you about anything you need help with.
God bless, and we're all in this together!
I've been doing some personal reflection lately and have been thinking about this subject a lot.
Admittedly, when someone says they're struggling, I'll be the first one to suggest going for "help", whether in the form of reading books, taking classes, talking to those in power, seeking medical treatment, support groups -- whatever means are out there (within legal and Christian boundaries) -- I would fully support.
However, as I think about my own life, I think about all the things I've tried... And have to wonder if they really helped much at all.
My last venture was looking up online support groups for disordered eating (which I think most everyone suffers from to an extent these days.) I was working too much to really commit to a regular real-life meeting, and I like that the online world can work around most any schedule one may have.
But what I seemed to find was a lot of people beating themselves up over their daily food choices, such as, "I ate a donut today -- I'm a total loser, and I hate myself."
Now, I'm certainly not trying to criticize, because I've often felt that way myself. But as I spent a little more time around the group, it seemed to be going in a constant circle of self-flagellation rather than moving away from the cycle and in a healthier direction. I realize it might take some time to get to that point, but I knew I couldn't stay there or I would quickly move in that direction, too.
Another time, I went to a doctor with some concerns about both my physical and emotional health -- and walked out of the office with 6 prescriptions. I threw all of them away except one, which was for a temporary physical ailment, and I stopped taking it as soon as the pain was gone. I'd gone the meds route before, and I wasn't interested in being put on another cornucopia of drugs.
I found it ironic that I am always telling people to go for help, and yet, when I really think about, the professional or established help I tried to get over the years generally proved ineffective. In all honesty, I think the things that helped me most were the every day people who took the time to listen to me over the years, bit by bit. But I don't want to be a hypocrite in suggesting to other people to seek out whatever resources they can.
I still believe in seeking out help, because I realize that different things may work differently for different people. And this is where I'd like to turn to all of you.
As singles, we are all told to spend all this glorious single time getting closer (no sarcasm here!
) to the Lord and making ourselves better for a future spouse.But how has that been working out for everyone?
* What kinds of help have you sought over the years, and what did you find to be effective or not?
* If you could change something about "the system", what would it be? (What things do you believe would be more effective in helping people?) Would you make more services anonymous? Would you want to see the stigma/shame around certain issues removed?
* If someone came to you with a problem, would you recommend that they go for help, and what kinds of things would you recommend to them? (Counselor, doctor, group, 12-step program, meds, etc.)
I realize this is a very general way of talking about a subject that can be highly specific -- people with very different problems will also need very different strategies. But this is exactly why I'm hoping this discussion will be interesting -- because everyone will have their own personal experience, which might be completely different from the next person.
I also realize that this topic could be too personal for some. If you'd still like to contribute, maybe you could write a post about something you've observed in someone else's life (or write as if you were talking about a friend), if you don't want to talk about yourself. Please DON'T feel that you have to list what you have struggled with AT ALL -- you can write your entire post around a generic, unnamed "issue" so that no one has to know what it is you've been seeking help for.
I'm also trying to think of an anonymous, multiple-choice poll to add that will hopefully get the conversation started. Unfortunately, the poll limits won't let me put in as many answers as I'd like, but we'll work with what we've got.
I'm really hoping people will want to share, and I'm looking forward to learning from your answers.
Feel free to ask for prayer as well, if you'd like the rest of us to pray with you about anything you need help with.
God bless, and we're all in this together!
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