My head's so full and my home life so empty

I just feel right now like I've got so much weighing on me and so little time or space to sort it out. My anxiety's really escalated as a result and I so wish my week off work was this one, not mid October.

I've been managing the charity shop I'm officially Assistant Manager at for about ten months now. I interviewed for the shop manager job in April and didn't get it but neither did anybody else so the position was re-advertised. I interviewed for it last week but learnt on Friday I hadn't got it.

I am still going to be kept on as Assistant Manager, which is good news and especially in light of all the Thomas Cook job losses. However, the contract is only 21 hours a week and even with the Universal Credit I'd be entitled to won't give me full time money.

So now I'm having to look at full time alternatives and the only ones I've found involve commuting which will make for days whose length I might struggle with. But then part time won't give me enough financial or professional fulfillment unless I can do freelance translation where the money's good but not guaranteed.

Working from home might also make me feel more isolated than I do already. Working long hours largely alone doesn't put me in contact with many people or opportunities of a relationship.

I joined an online dating site where most of the contact came from guys who creepy, expecting too much too soon or both. However, one I did get talking to seemed absolutely great - very interesting and interested in me as a person with a lot of common ground.

Then when we met up last week he looked scruffy and kept talking non stop at me to the point I needed split seconds to drive words in edgeways. At the end he just said "Have a nice evening" without suggesting another date or chatting online later or taking my phone number.

On one level I was relieved he didn't want things to go further. However, on another I couldn't help feeling rejected, which in a way annoyed me because he really hadn't given me a proper chance to prove myself by monopolising the conversation. Yet in another way it hurt, as did the realisation I would almost certainly have given him a second chance because I'd no other option for a relationship.

He took himself off the site so I couldn't suggest we did meet up again but with rather better social behaviour on his part. Perhaps that would have just descended into an argument and I know if I'd been his only issue with that site he would have just blocked me. Yet now with my financial insecurity I can't pay to join another site for now and I can't see how I won't be alone for yet another birthday in early November.

I just feel right now like I've got so much weighing on me and so little time or space to sort it out. My anxiety's really escalated as a result and I so wish my week off work was this one, not mid October.

I've been managing the charity shop I'm officially Assistant Manager at for about ten months now. I interviewed for the shop manager job in April and didn't get it but neither did anybody else so the position was re-advertised. I interviewed for it last week but learnt on Friday I hadn't got it.

I am still going to be kept on as Assistant Manager, which is good news and especially in light of all the Thomas Cook job losses. However, the contract is only 21 hours a week and even with the Universal Credit I'd be entitled to won't give me full time money.

So now I'm having to look at full time alternatives and the only ones I've found involve commuting which will make for days whose length I might struggle with. But then part time won't give me enough financial or professional fulfillment unless I can do freelance translation where the money's good but not guaranteed.

Working from home might also make me feel more isolated than I do already. Working long hours largely alone doesn't put me in contact with many people or opportunities of a relationship.

I joined an online dating site where most of the contact came from guys who creepy, expecting too much too soon or both. However, one I did get talking to seemed absolutely great - very interesting and interested in me as a person with a lot of common ground.

Then when we met up last week he looked scruffy and kept talking non stop at me to the point I needed split seconds to drive words in edgeways. At the end he just said "Have a nice evening" without suggesting another date or chatting online later or taking my phone number.

On one level I was relieved he didn't want things to go further. However, on another I couldn't help feeling rejected, which in a way annoyed me because he really hadn't given me a proper chance to prove myself by monopolising the conversation. Yet in another way it hurt, as did the realisation I would almost certainly have given him a second chance because I'd no other option for a relationship.

He took himself off the site so I couldn't suggest we did meet up again but with rather better social behaviour on his part. Perhaps that would have just descended into an argument and I know if I'd been his only issue with that site he would have just blocked me. Yet now with my financial insecurity I can't pay to join another site for now and I can't see how I won't be alone for yet another birthday in early November.

I just feel right now like I've got so much weighing on me and so little time or space to sort it out. My anxiety's really escalated as a result and I so wish my week off work was this one, not mid October.

I've been managing the charity shop I'm officially Assistant Manager at for about ten months now. I interviewed for the shop manager job in April and didn't get it but neither did anybody else so the position was re-advertised. I interviewed for it last week but learnt on Friday I hadn't got it.

I am still going to be kept on as Assistant Manager, which is good news and especially in light of all the Thomas Cook job losses. However, the contract is only 21 hours a week and even with the Universal Credit I'd be entitled to won't give me full time money.

So now I'm having to look at full time alternatives and the only ones I've found involve commuting which will make for days whose length I might struggle with. But then part time won't give me enough financial or professional fulfillment unless I can do freelance translation where the money's good but not guaranteed.

Working from home might also make me feel more isolated than I do already. Working long hours largely alone doesn't put me in contact with many people or opportunities of a relationship.

I joined an online dating site where most of the contact came from guys who creepy, expecting too much too soon or both. However, one I did get talking to seemed absolutely great - very interesting and interested in me as a person with a lot of common ground.

Then when we met up last week he looked scruffy and kept talking non stop at me to the point I needed split seconds to drive words in edgeways. At the end he just said "Have a nice evening" without suggesting another date or chatting online later or taking my phone number.

On one level I was relieved he didn't want things to go further. However, on another I couldn't help feeling rejected, which in a way annoyed me because he really hadn't given me a proper chance to prove myself by monopolising the conversation. Yet in another way it hurt, as did the realisation I would almost certainly have given him a second chance because I'd no other option for a relationship.

He took himself off the site so I couldn't suggest we did meet up again but with rather better social behaviour on his part. Perhaps that would have just descended into an argument and I know if I'd been his only issue with that site he would have just blocked me. Yet now with my financial insecurity I can't pay to join another site for now and I can't see how I won't be alone for yet another birthday in early November.

There may be a few single available men on this site that might be worth considering.

Tourist, maybe you should have your own thread match making all the singles.

Tourist, maybe you should have your own thread match making all the singles.

I did exactly that when I first joined but it was not well-received. There were a lot of anal members back then who thought that it was not proper to find a match on this site but rather perhaps in church. Oh, yeah, they were biblically naïve in matters of the heart as well. I almost quit the site because of how I was treated but in the end I found the one of my heart's desire on this very site. At least I got what I wanted. I stayed as a member mainly for the fellowship, encouragement, and prayer, both giving and receiving. I love this site and it has been a tremendous blessing for me.

In theory to meet someone at church is ideal. But what if in your particular church the other members are already teamed up, or are of the same sex as you are, or there is a large age gap. It makes it impossible.
I agree that this should not be a dating site because then the whole focus becomes on finding a partner but I don't think there is any harm in having one thread for people who would like to meet someone.
I think I have seen a couple of threads here and there that have started but they seem to fade out. Perhaps nobody is interested enough.

Well generally very few of us are inclined to respond to "I just need someone to love (me)" threads. We've had a few all in good fun list some good qualities about yourself threads, but serious strenuous attempts to find a date in an online forum usually smell of desperation. We've also had people catfished or stalked by people they met here (that's the exception not the norm). The other thing I would say is that while as a fun joke such threads can occasionally be fun, when it comes to the serious side 1) for various reasons many of us may not want to make our relationships or developing relationships with other forum members public on the forum 2) personally there are few things more annoying than people trying to talk you in to dating someone that you know exists but have already decided for whatever reasons not to pursue. So I'm not at all in favor of a serious matchmaking thread.

The flip side of that is that there are a lot of ideas surrounding Christian dating, or dating for Christians in general, that when taken together end up coming across as this idea of "until God has made you perfect, you shouldn't be looking for a spouse" and I will admit that too often these are trotted out to correct (discourage) people who maybe should be sympathized with a little more and encouraged to pursue relationships and date wisely rather than not date because they're not deemed to be "ready". Though we all know the perfect partner who will make all my problems disappear daydream is just that an unrealistic dream, too often we tend to swing to the other end of the spectrum and imply to people that since they can't solve all your problems they won't help with any and you're on your own (except for God because after all this is a christian site). I can't say that way of thinking is useful or helpful either.

In theory to meet someone at church is ideal. But what if in your particular church the other members are already teamed up, or are of the same sex as you are, or there is a large age gap. It makes it impossible.
I agree that this should not be a dating site because then the whole focus becomes on finding a partner but I don't think there is any harm in having one thread for people who would like to meet someone.
I think I have seen a couple of threads here and there that have started but they seem to fade out. Perhaps nobody is interested enough.

In theory to meet someone at church is ideal. But what if in your particular church the other members are already teamed up, or are of the same sex as you are, or there is a large age gap. It makes it impossible.
I agree that this should not be a dating site because then the whole focus becomes on finding a partner but I don't think there is any harm in having one thread for people who would like to meet someone.
I think I have seen a couple of threads here and there that have started but they seem to fade out. Perhaps nobody is interested enough.

There is probably a lot of interest but there might be those that are afraid to make their feelings known because it might actually result in a relationship being started.

Besides being content with being single, I believe the two main reasons that people remain single is fear of rejection and fear of commitment. Also, there are those who set unrealistic standards for a prospective mate and spend most of their adult years waiting for that perfect someone. Or maybe, they say they are waiting on God's perfect timing whatever that means. In my opinion that means that they are unwilling to at least make an effort in establishing an intimate romantic relationship. God may indeed find you the one of your heart's desire but you must then be ready to take bold decisive action as God is not going to simply drop a prospective spouse in your lap.

As far as being content with being single, I'm sure that in some instances instead of being content they are really resigned to the idea of remaining single the rest of their lives out of fear of the unknown in regards to what may or may not happen in any such relationship leading to marriage.

It's time to pray.

I did exactly that when I first joined but it was not well-received. There were a lot of anal members back then who thought that it was not proper to find a match on this site but rather perhaps in church. Oh, yeah, they were biblically naïve in matters of the heart as well. I almost quit the site because of how I was treated but in the end I found the one of my heart's desire on this very site. At least I got what I wanted. I stayed as a member mainly for the fellowship, encouragement, and prayer, both giving and receiving. I love this site and it has been a tremendous blessing for me.