Seperated or divorced...what is the difference?

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Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,179
113
#1
When people say they are separated does that mean the same thing as divorced?

For a couple thats now single, but USED to be a couple because they had children together or shared a house, is there a diference?
Im a bit confused about this. Would it be they are separated if they never married in the first place. And only divorced if they had been married.

If they are still married and only just separated, does that mean theres a chance they can get back together?
Is it divorce thats final? Also in divorce are they allowed to see each other or does the court decide they have to stay away from each other and live apart. What if they just live next door to each other or have separate bedrooms. i dont quite understand...

I dont want to be rude and ask them to clarify, cos Ive had people tell me they were divorced when actually they were still married. They were just living apart from each other.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,505
16,398
113
69
Tennessee
#2
Separation and divorce are two different things. Yes, in being separated there remains the possibility of reconciling the marriage while being divorced the marriage is over. In the instance that you provided, the couple, for all intents and purposes are in a common-law marriage, and if separated, would still be considered married in accordance with laws that recognize such relationships. The couple, even if separated, may be considered married too in the eyes of God if He joined the two of them together in the first place.
 
Aug 10, 2019
552
437
63
Canada
#3
When people say they are separated does that mean the same thing as divorced?

For a couple thats now single, but USED to be a couple because they had children together or shared a house, is there a diference?
Im a bit confused about this. Would it be they are separated if they never married in the first place. And only divorced if they had been married.

If they are still married and only just separated, does that mean theres a chance they can get back together?
Is it divorce thats final? Also in divorce are they allowed to see each other or does the court decide they have to stay away from each other and live apart. What if they just live next door to each other or have separate bedrooms. i dont quite understand...

I dont want to be rude and ask them to clarify, cos Ive had people tell me they were divorced when actually they were still married. They were just living apart from each other.
There are two ways to view this, one being legalistic and the other being from the Christian perspective, but even within the Christian view there can be variances.

Legally separated means that there has been a determination by the courts that the parties are no longer living as man and wife....the marriage still exists in a fashion and could be repaired, but unless or until it is this couple is not legally married, they are legally separated. If one of the two or both decide to remarry, they will have to proceed to a legal divorce if they want to be legally married.

Even if they divorce however, there is nothing that says they could not get married again at some point in the future...but it would be a new marriage, not a continuation of the marriage that ended.

From a Christian perspective Jesus taught that divorce was given to us by Moses because of our hardness of heart (I'm going off memory here)....and that divorce for reasons other than infidelity is a sin. He goes further of course, saying that if a man looks at a woman with lust, that he is guilty of adultery (thou shall not covet thy neighbour's wife).
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,389
2,390
113
#4
When people say they are separated does that mean the same thing as divorced?

For a couple thats now single, but USED to be a couple because they had children together or shared a house, is there a diference?
Im a bit confused about this. Would it be they are separated if they never married in the first place. And only divorced if they had been married.

If they are still married and only just separated, does that mean theres a chance they can get back together?
Is it divorce thats final? Also in divorce are they allowed to see each other or does the court decide they have to stay away from each other and live apart. What if they just live next door to each other or have separate bedrooms. i dont quite understand...

I dont want to be rude and ask them to clarify, cos Ive had people tell me they were divorced when actually they were still married. They were just living apart from each other.
In the legal system or if you're talking in accordance with the laws of the land, yes there is a difference and I'm not sure of all the nuances of the difference (google could probably tell me, but it's not something I need to know right now) but do agree that you have to be divorced and not just separated to legally remarry. In practical terms, unless the someone you're talking to is someone you're looking to date and possibly marry, I don't think the differences matter much so you don't need to ask for clarification if they're really divorced. Them saying it is enough to tell you how they view what was their marriage.
 
I

IFOLLOWHIM

Guest
#5
Why just do the " seperation" thing? I WILL NEVER date a guy who is only sepetated!
If the marriage is irreparable THEN GET A DIVORCE!
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
24,843
13,450
113
#6
From personal experience...

"Separated" is both a functional and a legal term. In the functional sense, the marriage has broken down and the parties are living separately. In the legal sense, the former is true, but the breakdown is legally recognized, and it is much easier to proceed with separation of assets and other legal issues. There is the possibility of reconciling the marriage in either case, and if the couple starts cohabitating again, the legal separation will be void after a certain period such as 90 days. In a relational sense, "separated" (either version) is "married"; no person who is "separated" has any business getting involved in or even seeking another relationship.

As others have noted, "divorced" means the marriage has been legally dissolved and no longer exists. Aside from any legal encumbrances such as alimony, the parties are financially and relationally free from each other, and are free to remarry. For a Christian, of course, there are other questions that determine whether a person is free to remarry.

If a couple had never legally married, and have decided to go their separate ways, they are free. However, if they shared the same home, they may have entered into a common-law marriage without realizing it, and so may have financial responsibilities to each other. These should be resolved by obtaining a legal divorce.

Living next door to each other while being legally married is odd, but acceptable if the parties agree to it (though why they would choose the extra expense is beyond me). Similarly, if they have separate bedrooms, that's their business and nobody else's. Some people snore.
 

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
Apr 1, 2014
6,194
1,320
113
33
Arizona
#7
Separated usually means not a couple anymore, but still legally considered to be married. Only once someone actually files a petition for divorce and goes through the legal proceedings are they considered not legally together.

To me, a person who is separated should not in any way pursue another relationship. They’re married still!!
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,179
113
#8
Ok still a bit confusing. When people say 'no longer living as man and wife' what does that actually mean.
They no longer talk to each other? They dont live in the same house? They dont share the same bedroom?

Does divorce make much difference..do they throw away their wedding ring or change their name or what. Cos a separation could just mean one is sailing or in another country for work, or in prison or rehab...

Or does it mean im married but not married.
Just becasue you dont talk to each other or see each other even for years does that mean you are no longer married and separated...if its longer than two years does it mean you should consider divorce. Would that be considered abandoning your marriage?

Just wondering. I was talking to two different people last week and one guy from work said he was divorced, he had a child aged 7 and the mum lived in another country. The other was someone from church she said she was separated and she had two grown up sons but she was looking for a place to live on her own. Im not sure where her partner or spouse was. They both offered this information, i didnt bring up the topic.
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
24,843
13,450
113
#9
Ok still a bit confusing. When people say 'no longer living as man and wife' what does that actually mean.
They no longer talk to each other? They dont live in the same house? They dont share the same bedroom?

Does divorce make much difference..do they throw away their wedding ring or change their name or what. Cos a separation could just mean one is sailing or in another country for work, or in prison or rehab...

Or does it mean im married but not married.
Just becasue you dont talk to each other or see each other even for years does that mean you are no longer married and separated...if its longer than two years does it mean you should consider divorce. Would that be considered abandoning your marriage?

Just wondering. I was talking to two different people last week and one guy from work said he was divorced, he had a child aged 7 and the mum lived in another country. The other was someone from church she said she was separated and she had two grown up sons but she was looking for a place to live on her own. Im not sure where her partner or spouse was. They both offered this information, i didnt bring up the topic.
As the situations you describe involve specific people, I would suggest that you ask them what they mean. We can only speculate on their use of terms.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,179
113
#10
Well I know what divorced means but not so sure about separated. Seems like a bit of a grey area. I thought there might be someone on here who could be kind enough to explain it.

Being a christian site and all.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,179
113
#11
Ok well google is proabably a better friend to explain it.

The main diferrence between separation and divorce is property. In a divorce the property is split, and they have no legal access even if that person dies. In a legal spearation the property is still under the married name, and if that person dies the other person still has rights to the property.

Ok so that clears it up.
A little.
So you can tell your separated partner you can have the house over my dead body.
But if you are divorced they cant have it at all. And your children cant either. See ya.