How to enjoy your singleness

ArtsieSteph · Nov 30, 2019

So I made a thread earlier called “do you enjoy your singleness” and it seemed to turn a bit divisive! So let’s turn it to something more positive.

How can we enjoy our singleness? Or rather more realistically, how can we grow and take advantage of the place we’re in right now?

God has us in our single state at the moment for a reason, so how do we make the most of it?

Suggestions, personal stories, musings and whatnot welcome. Me it’s gonna be musings cuz I still have no idea fully 🤣

Tinkerbell725 · Nov 30, 2019

Do what makes you happy. If you enjoy meeting and dating people then just do that. For me I just enjoy work and some hobbies. I don't date anymore because I don't have the energy to get to know someone. And besides it is not easy to attract someone suitable for an independent woman of my age here in my country.

Lanolin · Nov 30, 2019

I dont like being crowded to be with someone else ALL the time is suffocating for me so I appreciate my own space and freedom to do things which comes with being single.

I think its like plants many dont enjoy being too crowded. Got to give them room to grow. If you are one of those rarer ones and not common as all the other plants I dont think its a bad thing its just means you are more prized.

CatleesiGamerMom · Nov 30, 2019

I find that self-care is very important both when you're single and when you're involved in a relationship. We all experience things throughout the day that try our patience and add to the pile of stress, so if we neglect to take care of ourselves, then we end up opening ourselves up for sin to take over. As a single parent, I find it more challenging to take time to focus on myself (away from my son), but I know what it looks like if I don't take that time to recharge.

laughingheart · Nov 30, 2019

I insist on my life being a win/win situation. Whatever state I find myself in, I look for the benefits. On a shallow level, I have the bedroom closet all to myself. I can either go to bed early or late but either way I do not worry about disturbing anyone. I choose what I make for dinner, how I make it, and when we eat. I can spend the evening writing or reading or meeting a friend for a spontaneous coffee date. I can spend Christmas with my family each year, and go explore the beaches looking for sea glass, when I have a free few hours. I don't have to justify why I do it or explain what I'll do with it when I find it. I can do something for the pleasure it brings.
In other words, I get to choose how I spend my time. I am free to be good to myself and rest if I need, be silly when I want and give my full attention to my son, homestay students, friends and dog.
I also like what I don't have to do. I don't have to watch politics, golf or violent movies. I don't have to have music blaring if I want peace. I don't have to move away from friends and family if I don't want. I don't have to leave my church. I do not have the live with someone's anger issues or irritability. I can choose a life of peace and humour.
Being single allows me to look in the mirror and decide if I am at peace with who I see as opposed to looking for someone else to tell me that I am enough for them (Please know that I know being at peace with myself has never been anyone's responsibility but my own). I just don't feel the need to justify my life to anyone but God.
I am not opposed to meeting someone, and if I do I will celebrate that, but for now i will enjoy pancakes for dinner or sculpting with wires, driftwood, sea glass and woven pine needles. I will travel (when I collect enough airmiles lol) and read comics. Hooray for unlimited possibilities.

IFOLLOWHIM · Nov 30, 2019

I have found loads of time to study,pray and open myself up to the Holy Spirit!

tourist · Nov 30, 2019

CatleesiGamerMom said:

There are many single parents on this site so please know that you're not alone in this. I agree with your post and look forward to others that you may write. Glad to have you as part of our family. Welcome to CC.

CatleesiGamerMom · Nov 30, 2019

tourist said:

Thank you for the warm welcome and nice words. That's exactly what I came here for. We're pretty isolated where we currently live and it's safe to say that my beliefs aren't fully supported nor embraced here. Social media as an outlet is a wash, and even though I'm able to connect with family and the few friends I have, it's so bloated with political garbage and other un-Godly things that the only posts I enjoy seeing are from the animal rescues I follow.

17Bees · Nov 30, 2019

CatleesiGamerMom said:

Thank you for the warm welcome and nice words. That's exactly what I came here for. We're pretty isolated where we currently live and it's safe to say that my beliefs aren't fully supported nor embraced here. Social media as an outlet is a wash, and even though I'm able to connect with family and the few friends I have, it's so bloated with political garbage and other un-Godly things that the only posts I enjoy seeing are from the animal rescues I follow.

Well I'm glad you're here! There's a number of us animals that need rescuing.

Butterflyyy · Nov 30, 2019

I have a tiny puppy who is only 2 weeks old...and I keep kissing her and she loves it lol🤗😍🙏🏻❤️Thank you Lord for my puppy😊

Going_Nowhere · Nov 30, 2019

Look at it like this:

When you're single, you can do whatever you want, whenever you want.

And there you go.

Lynx · Nov 30, 2019

Hmmm... how to enjoy being single...

Don't stop doing life just because you're single. If you like to cook, learn to use a freezer to freeze what you cooked. Don't stop cooking just because you only have yourself to cook for. Sing because you like to sing. Don't stop because there's nobody else to hear you. Go out to a movie by yourself if you like watching movies.

Short version: The best way to enjoy being single is to do stuff. Too many people I know put off too much stuff because "it would be more fun if I had somebody to go with." It's no fun at all if you don't go.

tourist · Nov 30, 2019

Going_Nowhere said:

Is that a good thing or a bad thing.

Going_Nowhere · Nov 30, 2019

tourist said:

Why would it be a bad thing?

tourist · Nov 30, 2019

Going_Nowhere said:

I was divorced for over 18 years, doing whatever I wanted whenever I wanted but it got old after a few years because at the end of the day there was no one to appreciate the person that I was.

Lanolin · Nov 30, 2019

I think many people appreciate the single person rather than relying on just ONE person to appreciate you.
Jesus had twelve disciples not just one.

another thing I learned was our personal validation comes from God. Not anyone else. of course others can be messengers of that validation but cultivating that relationship with God comes first. Thats heavenward and can never be taken from you. People may die, move or leave but God has said I will never leave you nor forsake you.

selfdissolving · Nov 30, 2019

laughingheart said:

I insist on my life being a win/win situation. Whatever state I find myself in, I look for the benefits. On a shallow level, I have the bedroom closet all to myself. I can either go to bed early or late but either way I do not worry about disturbing anyone. I choose what I make for dinner, how I make it, and when we eat. I can spend the evening writing or reading or meeting a friend for a spontaneous coffee date. I can spend Christmas with my family each year, and go explore the beaches looking for sea glass, when I have a free few hours. I don't have to justify why I do it or explain what I'll do with it when I find it. I can do something for the pleasure it brings.
In other words, I get to choose how I spend my time. I am free to be good to myself and rest if I need, be silly when I want and give my full attention to my son, homestay students, friends and dog.
I also like what I don't have to do. I don't have to watch politics, golf or violent movies. I don't have to have music blaring if I want peace. I don't have to move away from friends and family if I don't want. I don't have to leave my church. I do not have the live with someone's anger issues or irritability. I can choose a life of peace and humour.
Being single allows me to look in the mirror and decide if I am at peace with who I see as opposed to looking for someone else to tell me that I am enough for them (Please know that I know being at peace with myself has never been anyone's responsibility but my own). I just don't feel the need to justify my life to anyone but God.
I am not opposed to meeting someone, and if I do I will celebrate that, but for now i will enjoy pancakes for dinner or sculpting with wires, driftwood, sea glass and woven pine needles. I will travel (when I collect enough airmiles lol) and read comics. Hooray for unlimited possibilities.

well said!
that post was inspiring!

selfdissolving · Nov 30, 2019

I've been single for most of the past 5 years.
One thing i noticed about being in a relationship, is that I had lots of questions to answer all the time. Questions like where I was, who was I with, what was I doing, etc.
I'm much more the type of person who will go for a walk in the park at 3 am to lay in the field and look at the stars. I don't really like having to present my case as to why I'm doing that either.

I've been in relationships where I would have to explain what I was doing, present my case as to why I like doing it and why I want to do it right now, fight for my right to be able to do it, then after I do it stroke her ego for awhile so she's not mad anymore.

Not anymore! I've learned to be comfortable with being myself. If other people are uncomfortable with who I am, that is something they must face themselves.

Dino246 · Nov 30, 2019

Butterflyyy said:

New puppy... no pictures... hmmm...

Alby · Nov 30, 2019

How to enjoy your singleness

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IFOLLOWHIM

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Folksy yet erudite

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selfdissolving

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