Why do marriages fail?

Some people fall out of love, or fall out of trust.

maybe they didnt tie the knot properly. I think you supposed to do it about three times to make sure its secure.

I do not believe in controlling and bossing a woman, and look at a man and a woman as equal in the marriage.

But it is a different world now.

There is more selfishness, arrogance, and self exaltation now because technology caused money and material things to flow like a raging river, and worldliness abounding, and fleshy pleasures galore, so people are more selfish.

If there is nothing for people to cling unto to be selfish and arrogant, and people basically on the same level people will get along great and think people are decent and good, but technology changed that and many people are pursuing self interests which is why they call it the me generation.

Because of the self interests, and selfishness in today's world people do not like each other as much because they say you do not care about me, I do not care about you, and get all you can get and forget everyone else, and trust is low, so that will creep in to marriages.

And instead of being a team like they are supposed to be they are thinking on the individual level, and some trying to get what they can out of the marriage, and out of the person.

And people do not view people as special anymore, and a dime a dozen, and there are plenty of fish in the sea, so it is easy for them to end the marriage and move on which many do not take too long and they are already dating someone else.

There is also so much sexuality in society that could carry them away, and morality is not as high as it used to be so it can carry them away, and drugs, and alcohol, and people spending too much of the finances on themselves instead of in the marriage for both.

And in America women have liberty that they did not have years ago which made the women more aggressive and bold than years ago so the men do not like it and it causes them to be more aggressive for they are not going to let a woman control them so they might get abusive even if the woman did not get controlling for they view women that way the same as women will view the men as dogs which is not like years ago when they were gentlemen and ladies, but all people even children are more aggressive today and selfish.

The Bible says that the last generation the children will not obey their parents, and those children have to grow up, and the children are the future, so they will be selfish adults who in marriage will fight a lot.

And this attitude started years ago but it got worse as time went on for it is the direction they are going.

It is not like little house on the prairie anymore, and I hate to say it but people get less quality of mates when they marry than years ago, and I almost want to say they get trash compared to years ago but I do not want to be that offensive.

God already told us of the behavior of the people at the last days highly selfish, highly arrogant, money hungry, covetous, without natural affection, heady, high minded exalting themselves thinking they are so special, traitors, disobedient to parents, false accusers, promise breakers, boasters.

And Jesus said since iniquity shall abound the love of many shall wax cold.

So you know how that will affect marriage when their attitude is more me oriented, and they do not love people as much in today's world for they are like that before they get married compared to years ago when they were not like that before they got married for a lot of people.

It is more of a gamble now that the marriage will be good and last, for years ago you basically knew what you were getting and pretty much stayed that way, but now you do not know what you are getting for there is so many personality flaws and they do not come out until after they are married.

For everybody is on their best behavior when they first get together or they would not get together, but after they are married then the flaws come out, and they cannot hold them back for it is part of their personality and then it comes bursting forth like water out of a weakened dam.

And so many people view people as not caring, and men having more of a disappointment of women, and women the men, and people are selfish, and greedy, and basically care about themselves so it will drag in to marriage as they are selfish and not so trusting of each other.

Which years ago they gave each other more slack the men went out with the boys, and the women went out with the girls, and they did things on the separate level more, but now they keep a tighter rein on each other like where are you going, and where have you been even if they been gone for an hour.

I cannot stand when a wife asks a husband if she can go somewhere, for it should be I am going here and I will be back when I get back.

But I am talking marriage that were like 1960's and after, and even 1950's somewhat, and then less and less years ago from there, and mainly the young people will have the most trouble in marriage for they would be the most me oriented.

My first husband and I were equally yoked but we got married at 17 and 18. My parents had both died by the time I was 12 years old and at the time I wanted to get married if my Guardians had set me down and explained that my SS death benefits would stop if I got married so young maybe I would have at least gone to college. Maybe not but I think they were so afraid that I was going to get pregnant that they agreed to the marriage. I might have waited if someone had explained that to me.

We were married for 6 1/2 years and our marriage broke up because we literally grew up and while we were on the same page at 17 and 18 as we grew we grew apart. Our communication broke down and I begged him to go to counselling to try to work on our problems but he refused. I read self help books, I lost weight, I stayed silent until I would explode with anger. I gave up as you can't have a one sided marriage.

I promised myself I would never go through a divorce again because it felt like someone had died and I was afraid of commitment after the first failure and I wasn't sure if I could get remarried since our break wasn't from adultery so I stayed single for 35 years as a result. My first husband remarried 3 months after our divorce not passing judgement on him but that is between him and God. Back in 2010 he passed away.

I met Tourist on this site and we got married in 2014 and I don't plan on ever getting a divorce again. Second time around I am much better suited to be a marriage partner than at 17 and I have a better understanding of life and communication.

Marriages break up because of all kinds of reasons and marriage takes work and the two partners have to agree to work on it and keep it alive. If God is at the head and husband and wife lean on Him the marriage will usually work until the death do you part.

Tourist and I went to pre-marriage counselling and I found it to be very helpful because we found out some things about each other that we didn't know and if we had differences in the way we filled out the questions we could discuss them with the counselor before it became a problem or that we would agree to certain differences between us.

I believe overall that it helped us to adjust to each other in the long run and we have now been married 5 years.

I would say divorce or separation is due to 'self', self deception thinking we are born again christians when we are not.

We are living the days of the 7th church Loadicea, where the church is lukewarm. Neither hot or cold. Hot meaning on fire for the Lord or cold meaning you are in the world.

We are to search our hearts to see where we stand. And many of us are backslidden. Or we haven't truly been converted so you cannot even call it apostacizing.

Once you have experience the conversion and growing in the Lord. It is not easy thing to give up.

The question we ought to ask ourselves, were I truly converted in the first place. Have I taken on the life of Christ?

Lets us earnestly pray for each other in that regard time is running out.

My marriage dissolved because I just didn’t backslide or become luke warm, I fell back into a life of sin. Oh I believed and thought of God, but I would push that into the back of my mind. In God’s mercy, He brought me to my knees and I have given everything over to Him. I do believe time is running and our Fathers spirit is being poured out. I maybe sad in my heart, but I’m joyful that my eyes have turned to Him who redeems. I await for eternity with my Creator. I just pray God uses my life as a testament to others of his unfailing love for those he calls His Children. Praise Him always!

Amen, I am happy hey. God never leaves us or gives up on us. That is why we should be more like Jesus.

I myself, thought I was converted yet you go to church every week and you still have that bitter heart in you. Until one day, I had to draw the line in the sand. Until here and no further.

God wants us also to believe more fully his promises. We should ask and child like believe. My wish is that nobody ought to go through such pain of divorce. But God's use it to teach us and form our character. Beautiful things has come from it too. We come to our senses

Yes, yes, yes! The Lord is making me new. The verse that that I pray most often is Psalm 3:5-7 “ Trust in the Lord with all your heart and not lean on your own understanding. Submit to Him in all your ways and he will make your paths straight” I just don’t read this and believe, I try to walk it which at times can be difficult. For someone who has been impulsive and allowed emotions to dictate his life, I’m asking Jesus to keep me from such things and wait on His timing. Even if takes a long time, I HAVE to do it. As Peter stated “Lord, to who else shall we go? You have the words of eternity life.”

someone mentioned 'Little House on the prairie' I cant say that marriage was entirely happy though because the dad was always moving around and the mum had her hands full with the girls, she had no boys I recall. But those were pioneering days so basically they were on their own, if the marriage did not work there was basically nobody around to help. However the advantage of those days was that land was free for the taking (only for white people though) so it was easy to set up house. Sustaining it was another matter. when they did move to town the mum was a lot happier because she was not so isolated, and the girls could go to school.

I thought I might mention this because I was reading all the Laura Ingalls Wilder books this year. they actually moved several times, and life wasnt always easy for them. They had a lot less temptations to deal with in those days though.

You could probably come up with many different circumstantial answers...but the bottom line is I suspect a selfishness that prevents a man from loving his wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it AND a woman from submitting to her husband as she would to the Lord.

Young couples Buy some hydrogen peroxide , gargle (don't swallow it) with it, it kills even garlic breath odor, keep a bottle in your car too and it's cheap ..
My advice to young folks .. Unless you are rich .. Save, find yourselves a used singlewide mobile home (close to city limits if possible) with a 1/2 acre more or less , work together and pay it off .. Fix it up if needed .. Never sell it but keep it , rent it but never sell it in case your finances ever go kaput .. The extra security of knowing you have something of value and something to fall back on takes a lot of tension/worry out of life .. Husbands, train yourself to work hard and be ethical at home and at work .. It will pay dividends for the rest of your life .. Read the bible to learn how to act ethically and decide in all situations , to know the mind of God .. Your wife will follow if she's convinced you follow what's right for the both of you .. Wifes ask you husbands opinions and council, let him be in charge, question when it's important , otherwise let the little mind game ''who's right who's wrong'' stuff go .. Usually both man/wife need help growing up in areas .. All things are important, not all things are expedient .. And last but not least remember in the end of an uncompromise ''if it's your idea, you do it'' ..

Never hold sex from your spouse especially don't cut the husband off , be ready and willing anytime anywhere and get with the program ''don't need no stinking candles or fancy negligee.. A little wine, some low light, some oldies soft rock music (prepare a sammich, leave in the kitchen beforehand, and get ready to knock the bed and walls down) is enough for a special time .. My wife and I used to keep a blanket in the back seat in case we took a notion to pull over on the interstate and run up in the woods or pull over and get in a country creek, under the house, change it up while you're young, your secrets between you ..

Drive cheap older cars, there's some good ones out there cheap, stay out of debt as much as possible. Don't ever try to keep up with the Jones'es, it's not your business what they have, it's your business to be thankful for what you have .. Be patient and enjoy life ..
Take care of yourself , your body will change , you don't have to look like mr/mrs Olympia .. Remember to be willing to grow up and take pride in your work and all you do .. Each phase of your life is great and some folks want to remain juvenile , your 20's on up to your 60's offer their own life's rewards and many miss out on life trying to hold on what's passed .. Stay in a church and try to help/involve with church groups ministries some, try not to make it work but enjoy Christian fellowship .. Try a mixed winter bowling league or something once and have fun .. Put Jesus first and you both will be better off, never give your whole heart to any one but Jesus, the devil will see it and try to exploit it if you do ..

I can't say much about why marriages fail, but I can tell you why ours has succeeded.

I was 18 and Mama was 17. We met at a community dance. Less than four months later, we were married. We just celebrated my 78th birthday. This May we will celebrate our 60th anniversary.

Our commitment from our wedding day has to become one in our lives, and one in Christ. There have been hills and valleys, but I would not trade one moment of our life together for anything.

Our advice to any couple planning to get married is to remember that when God has joined you together, the husband is the head of the family and the wife is the heart of the family. Without a head the heart cannot function, and without a heart the head is dead. If you are not willing to become one, you are doomed from the start. Love each other as Christ has loved his church. Above all love Christ.

Thank you for supporting this. Because of this reason, some women have trouble getting out of a bad situation. People don't understand why some women stay in marriages like this, where she has to constantly seek permission to live her life.
I understand the vows the couple made with God, but we are also supposed to be fair. Many marriages are not.

Why do marriages fail? People grow apart. I’ve changed dramatically through the years and no doubt would be divorced had I been married.

That can definitely be a part of it. I think also married couples start to become complacent and take each other for granted. Also, if you can’t make your Spouse laugh anymore, you’re in deep trouble.

Our culture is so exceedingly rooted in selfishness and materialism and with no fear of God anymore, such that any marriage that stands the test of time is truly special. We have moved so far away from Christian morality and an awareness of the consequences of sin (especially on our children being raised in single-family homes), that we have become quite confused and tend to complicate what I feel is not a difficult issue. I feel that divorce can be justified only in cases of genuine physical/sexual abuse, betrayal, and sexual promiscuity, for which divorce was historically and scripturally defended.

I have found speaking with some divorcees that, they might say the marriage failed for this and that reason, but they might not want to admit to adultery, if they were actually the one that was unfaithful.

eg 'we grew apart' when actually they dont want to say they met somone else and secretly conducting an affair. After a respectable amount of time they suddenly have this new friend they are now with all the time.

Excellent advice from bojack and Billyd...although I may recommend substituting a bottle of listerine for the hydrogen peroxide

or you could chew parsely.