Can a man love ONLY ONE woman?

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HeraldtheNews

Well-known member
Apr 26, 2012
1,550
437
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Is it possible that a man can ONLY LOVE ONE woman?

God created ONE WOMAN for Adam, yet the kings of Israel had so many wives.

Probably need some kind of a definition of "love" so, I'm asking about a man loving a woman with all his body, soul and spirit.

Feel free to define love in the way you understand it.

I look forward to reading your posts!
I could do with a few wives...
But,
1). Not someone else's wives.
2) And, one would be the best way to go.
It's not always easy to understand what was happening back in the Bible days, but the Bible does tell how it always caused distress when more than one wife was involved.

Im not trying to promote Hollywood versions of marriage, but, I remember a movie quote from the movie "Pushing Tin" that had some good moments, one serious Christian moment where Billy Bob Thornton's character tells his stressed out air traffic control co-worker whose life was crashing, something like, "you have to jump into the river and be cleansed from your sins."

And a moment of losing control to a power greater than themselves, in that case a 747 aircraft.

I'm very sorry Lafftur, if you have been hurt by a relationship without mutual love. It's not easy to find in this world. But always worth trying to seek God's will and believing in the power of love.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,392
9,394
113
Modern churches teach monogamy as the standard that God has set. But are they correct in their teaching? Does the Bible really teach monogamy? Or does it teach polygyny? (po·lyg·y·ny noun 1. ANTHROPOLOGY having multiple wives: the custom of being married to more than one wife at the same time. ) Or does it teach polygamy? (po·lyg·a·my noun 1. ANTHROPOLOGY having multiple spouses: the custom of having more than one spouse at the same time.)

I can say, without hesitation, that there is not even one instance of a woman having more than one husband at a time in the Bible, and can say with confidence that if a woman tried too, she would have been considered an adulteress. So we can rule out polygamy. But Polygyny is a different matter.

The first polygynist in the Bible is found in the book of Gen the fourth chapter. Gen 4:19-20 19 Then Lamech took for himself two wives: the name of one was Adah, and the name of the second was Zillah. (NKJV) Now Lamech was the seventh generation from Adam. So we see that polygyny was practiced as early in history as the seventh son of Adam. (Note Adam and Eve were still alive when Lamech did this. And they obviously new about it. If it were wrong for Lamech to have 2 wives at one time, would their not have been a rebuke of this action recorded in scripture? The fact that there is not, could indicate that this was considered ok.)

Abraham had 2 wives at one time. (Gen 16:1-4, 25:5-6)
Jacob had 4 wives from which the 12 tribes of Israel came from. (Gen 29:ff)
King David had 20+ wives. (2 Sam 3:2-5, 12-16, 5:13, 15:17-18)
King Solomon had 1000 wives.(1 Kings 11:3)
Elkanah had 2 wives (1 Sam 1:1-2)

Now the next Question we have to ask ourselves is did God approve of polygyny? To answer this question let’s go to 2 Sam 3:2-5 “2 Sons were born to David in Hebron: His firstborn was Amnon by (1.) Ahinoam the Jezreelitess; 3 his second, Chileab, by (2.) Abigail the widow of Nabal the Carmelite; the third, Absalom the son of (3.) Maacah, the daughter of Talmai, king of Geshur; 4 the fourth, Adonijah the son of (4.) Haggith; the fifth, Shephatiah the son of (5) Abital; 5 and the sixth, Ithream, by David's wife (6.) Eglah. These were born to David in Hebron. (NKJV)

2 Sam 3:12-16
13 And David said, "Good, I will make a covenant with you. But one thing I require of you: you shall not see my face unless you first bring Michal, Saul's daughter, when you come to see my face." 14 So David sent messengers to Ishbosheth, Saul's son, saying, "Give me my wife (7.)Michal, whom I betrothed to myself for a hundred foreskins of the Philistines." 15 And Ishbosheth sent and took her from her husband, from Paltiel the son of Laish. 16 Then her husband went along with her to Bahurim, weeping behind her. So Abner said to him, "Go, return!" And he returned. (NKJV)

2 Sam 5:13
13 And David took more concubines and wives from Jerusalem, after he had come from Hebron. Also more sons and daughters were born to David. (NKJV)

2 Sam 15:16-17
16 Then the king went out with all his household after him. But the king left ten women, concubines, to keep the house. (NKJV)

In these passages we see that David had 7 wives before he became the King of Israel. Then he took several more wives and concubines. Then when he fled from his son Absolon, he left ten of his concubines behind. So far we can count 17 wives for king David. Bethsheba made 18. And some of the wives that David married after Saul’s death makes at least 20 wives. (This is a very conservative number. David had a lot more than that!)

But it is interesting to note that even though David had so many wives; God did not say that he was committing adultery. God did not convict David of adultery until he slept with another mans wife. Then God judged him severely for it! (Its also interesting to note that God does not tell David that he is breaking His law that prohibits a king from ‘multiplying wives to himself’ (Deut 17:17) Evidently a king having 20+ wives is not considered ‘multiplying wives’. I suppose that God’s intent of this law was to keep kings from ‘harvesting’ all of the beautiful girls of the kingdom for himself and leaving only the ugly ones for the other men in his kingdom. Another way to look at it is how do we define ‘multiplying wives’? It all depends on the size of the kingdom. If you have 1000 subjects in your kingdom; than 10 wives might be considered ‘many wives’. But if you have 10 million subjects; than 1000 wives would not be considered to be ‘many wives’. Its all a matter of perspective.)

Let us examine David’s adultery.

(I have had to shorten this as this site will not let me post more than 10,000 characters. so you will have to look up the scripture references that i am giving. ) 2 Sam 11:2-12:23, 2 Samuel 12:1-23.

Notice how severely God punished King David when he committed sexual immorality! The fact that He did not punish David for his 20+ wives; but rather is the one who gave him those wives for his sexual pleasure; shows that God does not consider polygyny a sin! Verse 8 above CLEARLY shows God condoning polygyny.

Also consider that God gave a law in Deut. that governs polygyny. In Deut 21:15-17 it states:
15 If a man have two wives, one beloved, and another hated, and they have born him children, both the beloved and the hated; and if the firstborn son be hers that was hated: 16 Then it shall be, when he maketh his sons to inherit that which he hath, that he may not make the son of the beloved firstborn before the son of the hated, which is indeed the firstborn: 17 But he shall acknowledge the son of the hated for the firstborn, by giving him a double portion of all that he hath: for he is the beginning of his strength; the right of the firstborn is his. KJV

Now if God’s will was for a man to have only one wife; why doe’s God give a law that governs a polygynous marriage? If God wanted monogamy to be the norm; why did he not give Moses laws that would prohibit men from marrying more than one woman? The fact that he did not; and the fact that there are many examples of godly men in the old test that had more than one wife. (although there are no examples of women having more than one husband.) And the fact that God condoned polygyny in 2 Sam 12:8; shows us that God’s will for marriage is one man for every woman; and as many woman as a man can support for every man.

Polygyny was a sign of wealth. Just as a car is a sign of wealth. (e.g. if a man owns a rolls Royce or two, it is a sign of great wealth. If a man owns a VW it is a sing of poverty, or the very least, middle class. The type and number of vehicles that a person has is a statement of there social standing. So also, the amount of wives that a man had was a sign of his social standing. That’s why Solomon had 1000 wives; it was a statement of his great wealth! And if a man had only one wife; it was a statement of his poverty. And poor men had developed a habit of divorcing there wife for the sake of marrying another. Rather than just adding the other woman to his harem. (he could not afford too.) This is why Jesus said that if a man divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality, he was committing adultery. Because he was divorcing his wife for the purpose of being able to marry another one. And this was, and is, sin. (Mark 10:11)

There is a good reason why we need to embrace this doctrine; namely that in Eph 5: 22-33 the Holy Spirit uses marriage as a symbol of the churches union with Christ. Now it is evident that Christ has many wives; for He is married to each one of us individually. But we can only have one husband! We can have no other gods but Him! Otherwise we commit spiritual adultery! Thus the monogamous image of marriage dose not give us a representation of the churches relationship with Christ here on earth; it is only the polygynist marriage that adequately demonstrates the churches relationship to Christ to the world! Hence the commonly accepted doctrine of ‘one man one woman’ as being Gods ideal for marriage is completely wrong!
By your logic, homosexuality is also biblical, because Christ will be "married" to men as well as women.

By your logic slavery is also biblically justified. Lots of good people in the Bible had slaves.

By your logic wholesale slaughter and genocide is also justified and even commanded. In fact, king Saul got in big trouble because he didn't totally wipe those people out.

If you take everything in the Bible out of context, it can justify a lot.
 

UnoiAmarah

Junior Member
Jul 28, 2017
907
141
43
Does the Bible really teach monogamy?
Not to go off topic but the Torah initially used to teach man how to read and write the spoken word, you can give a child a crayon and they can draw you a picture and tell you what it says but the drawing of pictures doesn't evolve into the written spoken word nor does that child learn to read unless they are taught. (Ps 34:11) In such, the point being that it is the LORD that actually does the teaching. (John 14:26)
So we see that polygyny was practiced as early in history as the seventh son of Adam.
I hear that polygamy was practiced initially when the males and females he had formed in the beginning began to multiply upon the face of the earth and daughters were born unto them, that those males saw the daughters of men were fair and began taking unto as wives all that they chose.

It was from thence that the LORD stated that his spirit would not always strive with man, for that he was flesh also, but the LORD numbered the days of man in the flesh upon the earth were numbered at 120 years.
 

1ofthem

Senior Member
Mar 30, 2016
3,729
1,921
113
Modern churches teach monogamy as the standard that God has set. But are they correct in their teaching? Does the Bible really teach monogamy? Or does it teach polygyny? (po·lyg·y·ny noun 1. ANTHROPOLOGY having multiple wives: the custom of being married to more than one wife at the same time. ) Or does it teach polygamy? (po·lyg·a·my noun 1. ANTHROPOLOGY having multiple spouses: the custom of having more than one spouse at the same time.)

I can say, without hesitation, that there is not even one instance of a woman having more than one husband at a time in the Bible, and can say with confidence that if a woman tried too, she would have been considered an adulteress. So we can rule out polygamy. But Polygyny is a different matter.

The first polygynist in the Bible is found in the book of Gen the fourth chapter. Gen 4:19-20 19 Then Lamech took for himself two wives: the name of one was Adah, and the name of the second was Zillah. (NKJV) Now Lamech was the seventh generation from Adam. So we see that polygyny was practiced as early in history as the seventh son of Adam. (Note Adam and Eve were still alive when Lamech did this. And they obviously new about it. If it were wrong for Lamech to have 2 wives at one time, would their not have been a rebuke of this action recorded in scripture? The fact that there is not, could indicate that this was considered ok.)

Abraham had 2 wives at one time. (Gen 16:1-4, 25:5-6)
Jacob had 4 wives from which the 12 tribes of Israel came from. (Gen 29:ff)
King David had 20+ wives. (2 Sam 3:2-5, 12-16, 5:13, 15:17-18)
King Solomon had 1000 wives.(1 Kings 11:3)
Elkanah had 2 wives (1 Sam 1:1-2)

Now the next Question we have to ask ourselves is did God approve of polygyny? To answer this question let’s go to 2 Sam 3:2-5 “2 Sons were born to David in Hebron: His firstborn was Amnon by (1.) Ahinoam the Jezreelitess; 3 his second, Chileab, by (2.) Abigail the widow of Nabal the Carmelite; the third, Absalom the son of (3.) Maacah, the daughter of Talmai, king of Geshur; 4 the fourth, Adonijah the son of (4.) Haggith; the fifth, Shephatiah the son of (5) Abital; 5 and the sixth, Ithream, by David's wife (6.) Eglah. These were born to David in Hebron. (NKJV)

2 Sam 3:12-16
13 And David said, "Good, I will make a covenant with you. But one thing I require of you: you shall not see my face unless you first bring Michal, Saul's daughter, when you come to see my face." 14 So David sent messengers to Ishbosheth, Saul's son, saying, "Give me my wife (7.)Michal, whom I betrothed to myself for a hundred foreskins of the Philistines." 15 And Ishbosheth sent and took her from her husband, from Paltiel the son of Laish. 16 Then her husband went along with her to Bahurim, weeping behind her. So Abner said to him, "Go, return!" And he returned. (NKJV)

2 Sam 5:13
13 And David took more concubines and wives from Jerusalem, after he had come from Hebron. Also more sons and daughters were born to David. (NKJV)

2 Sam 15:16-17
16 Then the king went out with all his household after him. But the king left ten women, concubines, to keep the house. (NKJV)

In these passages we see that David had 7 wives before he became the King of Israel. Then he took several more wives and concubines. Then when he fled from his son Absolon, he left ten of his concubines behind. So far we can count 17 wives for king David. Bethsheba made 18. And some of the wives that David married after Saul’s death makes at least 20 wives. (This is a very conservative number. David had a lot more than that!)

But it is interesting to note that even though David had so many wives; God did not say that he was committing adultery. God did not convict David of adultery until he slept with another mans wife. Then God judged him severely for it! (Its also interesting to note that God does not tell David that he is breaking His law that prohibits a king from ‘multiplying wives to himself’ (Deut 17:17) Evidently a king having 20+ wives is not considered ‘multiplying wives’. I suppose that God’s intent of this law was to keep kings from ‘harvesting’ all of the beautiful girls of the kingdom for himself and leaving only the ugly ones for the other men in his kingdom. Another way to look at it is how do we define ‘multiplying wives’? It all depends on the size of the kingdom. If you have 1000 subjects in your kingdom; than 10 wives might be considered ‘many wives’. But if you have 10 million subjects; than 1000 wives would not be considered to be ‘many wives’. Its all a matter of perspective.)

Let us examine David’s adultery.

(I have had to shorten this as this site will not let me post more than 10,000 characters. so you will have to look up the scripture references that i am giving. ) 2 Sam 11:2-12:23, 2 Samuel 12:1-23.

Notice how severely God punished King David when he committed sexual immorality! The fact that He did not punish David for his 20+ wives; but rather is the one who gave him those wives for his sexual pleasure; shows that God does not consider polygyny a sin! Verse 8 above CLEARLY shows God condoning polygyny.

Also consider that God gave a law in Deut. that governs polygyny. In Deut 21:15-17 it states:
15 If a man have two wives, one beloved, and another hated, and they have born him children, both the beloved and the hated; and if the firstborn son be hers that was hated: 16 Then it shall be, when he maketh his sons to inherit that which he hath, that he may not make the son of the beloved firstborn before the son of the hated, which is indeed the firstborn: 17 But he shall acknowledge the son of the hated for the firstborn, by giving him a double portion of all that he hath: for he is the beginning of his strength; the right of the firstborn is his. KJV

Now if God’s will was for a man to have only one wife; why doe’s God give a law that governs a polygynous marriage? If God wanted monogamy to be the norm; why did he not give Moses laws that would prohibit men from marrying more than one woman? The fact that he did not; and the fact that there are many examples of godly men in the old test that had more than one wife. (although there are no examples of women having more than one husband.) And the fact that God condoned polygyny in 2 Sam 12:8; shows us that God’s will for marriage is one man for every woman; and as many woman as a man can support for every man.

Polygyny was a sign of wealth. Just as a car is a sign of wealth. (e.g. if a man owns a rolls Royce or two, it is a sign of great wealth. If a man owns a VW it is a sing of poverty, or the very least, middle class. The type and number of vehicles that a person has is a statement of there social standing. So also, the amount of wives that a man had was a sign of his social standing. That’s why Solomon had 1000 wives; it was a statement of his great wealth! And if a man had only one wife; it was a statement of his poverty. And poor men had developed a habit of divorcing there wife for the sake of marrying another. Rather than just adding the other woman to his harem. (he could not afford too.) This is why Jesus said that if a man divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality, he was committing adultery. Because he was divorcing his wife for the purpose of being able to marry another one. And this was, and is, sin. (Mark 10:11)

There is a good reason why we need to embrace this doctrine; namely that in Eph 5: 22-33 the Holy Spirit uses marriage as a symbol of the churches union with Christ. Now it is evident that Christ has many wives; for He is married to each one of us individually. But we can only have one husband! We can have no other gods but Him! Otherwise we commit spiritual adultery! Thus the monogamous image of marriage dose not give us a representation of the churches relationship with Christ here on earth; it is only the polygynist marriage that adequately demonstrates the churches relationship to Christ to the world! Hence the commonly accepted doctrine of ‘one man one woman’ as being Gods ideal for marriage is completely wrong!
That sounds perverted. Especially the part that was comparing marrying more than one woman to owning more than one Rolls Royce.
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
25,487
13,793
113
Modern churches teach monogamy as the standard that God has set. But are they correct in their teaching? Does the Bible really teach monogamy? Or does it teach polygyny? (po·lyg·y·ny noun 1. ANTHROPOLOGY having multiple wives: the custom of being married to more than one wife at the same time. ) Or does it teach polygamy? (po·lyg·a·my noun 1. ANTHROPOLOGY having multiple spouses: the custom of having more than one spouse at the same time.)

I can say, without hesitation, that there is not even one instance of a woman having more than one husband at a time in the Bible, and can say with confidence that if a woman tried too, she would have been considered an adulteress. So we can rule out polygamy. But Polygyny is a different matter.

The first polygynist in the Bible is found in the book of Gen the fourth chapter. Gen 4:19-20 19 Then Lamech took for himself two wives: the name of one was Adah, and the name of the second was Zillah. (NKJV) Now Lamech was the seventh generation from Adam. So we see that polygyny was practiced as early in history as the seventh son of Adam. (Note Adam and Eve were still alive when Lamech did this. And they obviously new about it. If it were wrong for Lamech to have 2 wives at one time, would their not have been a rebuke of this action recorded in scripture? The fact that there is not, could indicate that this was considered ok.)

Abraham had 2 wives at one time. (Gen 16:1-4, 25:5-6)
Jacob had 4 wives from which the 12 tribes of Israel came from. (Gen 29:ff)
King David had 20+ wives. (2 Sam 3:2-5, 12-16, 5:13, 15:17-18)
King Solomon had 1000 wives.(1 Kings 11:3)
Elkanah had 2 wives (1 Sam 1:1-2)

Now the next Question we have to ask ourselves is did God approve of polygyny? To answer this question let’s go to 2 Sam 3:2-5 “2 Sons were born to David in Hebron: His firstborn was Amnon by (1.) Ahinoam the Jezreelitess; 3 his second, Chileab, by (2.) Abigail the widow of Nabal the Carmelite; the third, Absalom the son of (3.) Maacah, the daughter of Talmai, king of Geshur; 4 the fourth, Adonijah the son of (4.) Haggith; the fifth, Shephatiah the son of (5) Abital; 5 and the sixth, Ithream, by David's wife (6.) Eglah. These were born to David in Hebron. (NKJV)

2 Sam 3:12-16
13 And David said, "Good, I will make a covenant with you. But one thing I require of you: you shall not see my face unless you first bring Michal, Saul's daughter, when you come to see my face." 14 So David sent messengers to Ishbosheth, Saul's son, saying, "Give me my wife (7.)Michal, whom I betrothed to myself for a hundred foreskins of the Philistines." 15 And Ishbosheth sent and took her from her husband, from Paltiel the son of Laish. 16 Then her husband went along with her to Bahurim, weeping behind her. So Abner said to him, "Go, return!" And he returned. (NKJV)

2 Sam 5:13
13 And David took more concubines and wives from Jerusalem, after he had come from Hebron. Also more sons and daughters were born to David. (NKJV)

2 Sam 15:16-17
16 Then the king went out with all his household after him. But the king left ten women, concubines, to keep the house. (NKJV)

In these passages we see that David had 7 wives before he became the King of Israel. Then he took several more wives and concubines. Then when he fled from his son Absolon, he left ten of his concubines behind. So far we can count 17 wives for king David. Bethsheba made 18. And some of the wives that David married after Saul’s death makes at least 20 wives. (This is a very conservative number. David had a lot more than that!)

But it is interesting to note that even though David had so many wives; God did not say that he was committing adultery. God did not convict David of adultery until he slept with another mans wife. Then God judged him severely for it! (Its also interesting to note that God does not tell David that he is breaking His law that prohibits a king from ‘multiplying wives to himself’ (Deut 17:17) Evidently a king having 20+ wives is not considered ‘multiplying wives’. I suppose that God’s intent of this law was to keep kings from ‘harvesting’ all of the beautiful girls of the kingdom for himself and leaving only the ugly ones for the other men in his kingdom. Another way to look at it is how do we define ‘multiplying wives’? It all depends on the size of the kingdom. If you have 1000 subjects in your kingdom; than 10 wives might be considered ‘many wives’. But if you have 10 million subjects; than 1000 wives would not be considered to be ‘many wives’. Its all a matter of perspective.)

Let us examine David’s adultery.

(I have had to shorten this as this site will not let me post more than 10,000 characters. so you will have to look up the scripture references that i am giving. ) 2 Sam 11:2-12:23, 2 Samuel 12:1-23.

Notice how severely God punished King David when he committed sexual immorality! The fact that He did not punish David for his 20+ wives; but rather is the one who gave him those wives for his sexual pleasure; shows that God does not consider polygyny a sin! Verse 8 above CLEARLY shows God condoning polygyny.

Also consider that God gave a law in Deut. that governs polygyny. In Deut 21:15-17 it states:
15 If a man have two wives, one beloved, and another hated, and they have born him children, both the beloved and the hated; and if the firstborn son be hers that was hated: 16 Then it shall be, when he maketh his sons to inherit that which he hath, that he may not make the son of the beloved firstborn before the son of the hated, which is indeed the firstborn: 17 But he shall acknowledge the son of the hated for the firstborn, by giving him a double portion of all that he hath: for he is the beginning of his strength; the right of the firstborn is his. KJV

Now if God’s will was for a man to have only one wife; why doe’s God give a law that governs a polygynous marriage? If God wanted monogamy to be the norm; why did he not give Moses laws that would prohibit men from marrying more than one woman? The fact that he did not; and the fact that there are many examples of godly men in the old test that had more than one wife. (although there are no examples of women having more than one husband.) And the fact that God condoned polygyny in 2 Sam 12:8; shows us that God’s will for marriage is one man for every woman; and as many woman as a man can support for every man.

Polygyny was a sign of wealth. Just as a car is a sign of wealth. (e.g. if a man owns a rolls Royce or two, it is a sign of great wealth. If a man owns a VW it is a sing of poverty, or the very least, middle class. The type and number of vehicles that a person has is a statement of there social standing. So also, the amount of wives that a man had was a sign of his social standing. That’s why Solomon had 1000 wives; it was a statement of his great wealth! And if a man had only one wife; it was a statement of his poverty. And poor men had developed a habit of divorcing there wife for the sake of marrying another. Rather than just adding the other woman to his harem. (he could not afford too.) This is why Jesus said that if a man divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality, he was committing adultery. Because he was divorcing his wife for the purpose of being able to marry another one. And this was, and is, sin. (Mark 10:11)

There is a good reason why we need to embrace this doctrine; namely that in Eph 5: 22-33 the Holy Spirit uses marriage as a symbol of the churches union with Christ. Now it is evident that Christ has many wives; for He is married to each one of us individually. But we can only have one husband! We can have no other gods but Him! Otherwise we commit spiritual adultery! Thus the monogamous image of marriage dose not give us a representation of the churches relationship with Christ here on earth; it is only the polygynist marriage that adequately demonstrates the churches relationship to Christ to the world! Hence the commonly accepted doctrine of ‘one man one woman’ as being Gods ideal for marriage is completely wrong!
Are you a Mormon?
 

Butterflyyy

Well-known member
Oct 31, 2019
1,615
1,318
113
Modern churches teach monogamy as the standard that God has set. But are they correct in their teaching? Does the Bible really teach monogamy? Or does it teach polygyny? (po·lyg·y·ny noun 1. ANTHROPOLOGY having multiple wives: the custom of being married to more than one wife at the same time. ) Or does it teach polygamy? (po·lyg·a·my noun 1. ANTHROPOLOGY having multiple spouses: the custom of having more than one spouse at the same time.)

I can say, without hesitation, that there is not even one instance of a woman having more than one husband at a time in the Bible, and can say with confidence that if a woman tried too, she would have been considered an adulteress. So we can rule out polygamy. But Polygyny is a different matter.

The first polygynist in the Bible is found in the book of Gen the fourth chapter. Gen 4:19-20 19 Then Lamech took for himself two wives: the name of one was Adah, and the name of the second was Zillah. (NKJV) Now Lamech was the seventh generation from Adam. So we see that polygyny was practiced as early in history as the seventh son of Adam. (Note Adam and Eve were still alive when Lamech did this. And they obviously new about it. If it were wrong for Lamech to have 2 wives at one time, would their not have been a rebuke of this action recorded in scripture? The fact that there is not, could indicate that this was considered ok.)

Abraham had 2 wives at one time. (Gen 16:1-4, 25:5-6)
Jacob had 4 wives from which the 12 tribes of Israel came from. (Gen 29:ff)
King David had 20+ wives. (2 Sam 3:2-5, 12-16, 5:13, 15:17-18)
King Solomon had 1000 wives.(1 Kings 11:3)
Elkanah had 2 wives (1 Sam 1:1-2)

Now the next Question we have to ask ourselves is did God approve of polygyny? To answer this question let’s go to 2 Sam 3:2-5 “2 Sons were born to David in Hebron: His firstborn was Amnon by (1.) Ahinoam the Jezreelitess; 3 his second, Chileab, by (2.) Abigail the widow of Nabal the Carmelite; the third, Absalom the son of (3.) Maacah, the daughter of Talmai, king of Geshur; 4 the fourth, Adonijah the son of (4.) Haggith; the fifth, Shephatiah the son of (5) Abital; 5 and the sixth, Ithream, by David's wife (6.) Eglah. These were born to David in Hebron. (NKJV)

2 Sam 3:12-16
13 And David said, "Good, I will make a covenant with you. But one thing I require of you: you shall not see my face unless you first bring Michal, Saul's daughter, when you come to see my face." 14 So David sent messengers to Ishbosheth, Saul's son, saying, "Give me my wife (7.)Michal, whom I betrothed to myself for a hundred foreskins of the Philistines." 15 And Ishbosheth sent and took her from her husband, from Paltiel the son of Laish. 16 Then her husband went along with her to Bahurim, weeping behind her. So Abner said to him, "Go, return!" And he returned. (NKJV)

2 Sam 5:13
13 And David took more concubines and wives from Jerusalem, after he had come from Hebron. Also more sons and daughters were born to David. (NKJV)

2 Sam 15:16-17
16 Then the king went out with all his household after him. But the king left ten women, concubines, to keep the house. (NKJV)

In these passages we see that David had 7 wives before he became the King of Israel. Then he took several more wives and concubines. Then when he fled from his son Absolon, he left ten of his concubines behind. So far we can count 17 wives for king David. Bethsheba made 18. And some of the wives that David married after Saul’s death makes at least 20 wives. (This is a very conservative number. David had a lot more than that!)

But it is interesting to note that even though David had so many wives; God did not say that he was committing adultery. God did not convict David of adultery until he slept with another mans wife. Then God judged him severely for it! (Its also interesting to note that God does not tell David that he is breaking His law that prohibits a king from ‘multiplying wives to himself’ (Deut 17:17) Evidently a king having 20+ wives is not considered ‘multiplying wives’. I suppose that God’s intent of this law was to keep kings from ‘harvesting’ all of the beautiful girls of the kingdom for himself and leaving only the ugly ones for the other men in his kingdom. Another way to look at it is how do we define ‘multiplying wives’? It all depends on the size of the kingdom. If you have 1000 subjects in your kingdom; than 10 wives might be considered ‘many wives’. But if you have 10 million subjects; than 1000 wives would not be considered to be ‘many wives’. Its all a matter of perspective.)

Let us examine David’s adultery.

(I have had to shorten this as this site will not let me post more than 10,000 characters. so you will have to look up the scripture references that i am giving. ) 2 Sam 11:2-12:23, 2 Samuel 12:1-23.

Notice how severely God punished King David when he committed sexual immorality! The fact that He did not punish David for his 20+ wives; but rather is the one who gave him those wives for his sexual pleasure; shows that God does not consider polygyny a sin! Verse 8 above CLEARLY shows God condoning polygyny.

Also consider that God gave a law in Deut. that governs polygyny. In Deut 21:15-17 it states:
15 If a man have two wives, one beloved, and another hated, and they have born him children, both the beloved and the hated; and if the firstborn son be hers that was hated: 16 Then it shall be, when he maketh his sons to inherit that which he hath, that he may not make the son of the beloved firstborn before the son of the hated, which is indeed the firstborn: 17 But he shall acknowledge the son of the hated for the firstborn, by giving him a double portion of all that he hath: for he is the beginning of his strength; the right of the firstborn is his. KJV

Now if God’s will was for a man to have only one wife; why doe’s God give a law that governs a polygynous marriage? If God wanted monogamy to be the norm; why did he not give Moses laws that would prohibit men from marrying more than one woman? The fact that he did not; and the fact that there are many examples of godly men in the old test that had more than one wife. (although there are no examples of women having more than one husband.) And the fact that God condoned polygyny in 2 Sam 12:8; shows us that God’s will for marriage is one man for every woman; and as many woman as a man can support for every man.

Polygyny was a sign of wealth. Just as a car is a sign of wealth. (e.g. if a man owns a rolls Royce or two, it is a sign of great wealth. If a man owns a VW it is a sing of poverty, or the very least, middle class. The type and number of vehicles that a person has is a statement of there social standing. So also, the amount of wives that a man had was a sign of his social standing. That’s why Solomon had 1000 wives; it was a statement of his great wealth! And if a man had only one wife; it was a statement of his poverty. And poor men had developed a habit of divorcing there wife for the sake of marrying another. Rather than just adding the other woman to his harem. (he could not afford too.) This is why Jesus said that if a man divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality, he was committing adultery. Because he was divorcing his wife for the purpose of being able to marry another one. And this was, and is, sin. (Mark 10:11)

There is a good reason why we need to embrace this doctrine; namely that in Eph 5: 22-33 the Holy Spirit uses marriage as a symbol of the churches union with Christ. Now it is evident that Christ has many wives; for He is married to each one of us individually. But we can only have one husband! We can have no other gods but Him! Otherwise we commit spiritual adultery! Thus the monogamous image of marriage dose not give us a representation of the churches relationship with Christ here on earth; it is only the polygynist marriage that adequately demonstrates the churches relationship to Christ to the world! Hence the commonly accepted doctrine of ‘one man one woman’ as being Gods ideal for marriage is completely wrong!
When God made Adam He only formed 1 woman for him. As I recall, Noach had only 1 wife; and it makes me wonder whether God, in His mercy, eventually allowed men to have more than 1 wife as a means of provision for women. War would have undoubtedly taken its toll on the number of males, and in Bible times, women depended on males to provide for them and also for protection.
There is no need for this in the days we are in, and I'm sure God is looking at the motive of the heart. Why would a man desire to have more than 1 wife? I can think of lots of reasons why more than 1 husband would benefit me- all selfish reasons. If my culture ended up in such a state that women had all the wealth and were fewer in number and also had the means to protect men, maybe I would mercifully take on the responsibility of more than 1 husband.
It's about doing unto others as you would have done unto you.
I know that my God values faithfulness, for He is faithful.
I would rather be single than be in a marriage where the husband's heart was divided and not wholly mine.

God did not design mankind to be polygamous or polygynous.
As always, because of the impact of sin in this world, we see God making the best out of the bad job humans have made. Thankfully He is able to work all for the good of those who love Him.

We cannot ignore the fact that God did not create a man in the beginning to have more than 1 wife.

Thankfully😊
 

melita916

Senior Member
Aug 12, 2011
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Alright. Let me get my rocks together since the Bible also mentions stoning people.
 
Nov 26, 2012
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When God made Adam He only formed 1 woman for him. As I recall, Noach had only 1 wife; and it makes me wonder whether God, in His mercy, eventually allowed men to have more than 1 wife as a means of provision for women. War would have undoubtedly taken its toll on the number of males, and in Bible times, women depended on males to provide for them and also for protection.
There is no need for this in the days we are in, and I'm sure God is looking at the motive of the heart. Why would a man desire to have more than 1 wife? I can think of lots of reasons why more than 1 husband would benefit me- all selfish reasons. If my culture ended up in such a state that women had all the wealth and were fewer in number and also had the means to protect men, maybe I would mercifully take on the responsibility of more than 1 husband.
It's about doing unto others as you would have done unto you.
I know that my God values faithfulness, for He is faithful.
I would rather be single than be in a marriage where the husband's heart was divided and not wholly mine.

God did not design mankind to be polygamous or polygynous.
As always, because of the impact of sin in this world, we see God making the best out of the bad job humans have made. Thankfully He is able to work all for the good of those who love Him.

We cannot ignore the fact that God did not create a man in the beginning to have more than 1 wife.

Thankfully😊
God left Adam in the Garden with one woman and look at the trouble she got him in. Imagine the mess if there was more. 😀
 

Butterflyyy

Well-known member
Oct 31, 2019
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No where in the Bible does it tell anyone to marry more than one person.
There is no example of it in the New Testament, rather, there is instruction for those who have an exemplary role, to have only one wife.

When Y'shua returns, His Bride will be one. There will be one marriage supper.

God did not seem to condemn Samson and Judah when they went with prostitutes, Rahab was a prostitute.
The Bible makes it clear that this is wrong. So, we cannot assume that, because God does not openly condemn something, that it is His will.
He told Hosea to marry a harlot. So we cannot assume that, because God does something in a specific situation, that this is His standard and instruction for the rest of humanity and time.

Blessed are the pure in heart for they will see God.
 

melita916

Senior Member
Aug 12, 2011
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Hi how are you doing today

today
I’m doing well. Welcome to CC. I saw that you posted you’re looking for a spouse. CC isn’t considered a dating site although a few individuals have found their spouse here.

P.S. I don’t qualify for your search.
 
Jan 1, 2020
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No where in the Bible does it tell anyone to marry more than one person.
There is no example of it in the New Testament, rather, there is instruction for those who have an exemplary role, to have only one wife.

When Y'shua returns, His Bride will be one. There will be one marriage supper.

God did not seem to condemn Samson and Judah when they went with prostitutes, Rahab was a prostitute.
The Bible makes it clear that this is wrong. So, we cannot assume that, because God does not openly condemn something, that it is His will.
He told Hosea to marry a harlot. So we cannot assume that, because God does something in a specific situation, that this is His standard and instruction for the rest of humanity and time.

Blessed are the pure in heart for they will see God.
actually it does. the law says that if your brother dies without having a son: the brother is to take his brothers widow as his wife and raise up a son for his brother so that his brothers name will not be wiped off the earth. He is to do this regardless if he has a wife of his own or not! and if he is already married to a woamn: he is to take her as her second wife!
the parable of the ten virgins in the new testament is a blatant approval of polygyny! for in this parable there are ten virgins that are waiting to marry the same bridegroom! 5 go in are are married. 5 are rejected! thus we see Jesus condoning polygyny.
 

laughingheart

Senior Member
Sep 21, 2016
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The kings of Israel didn't have multiple wives out of our romantic ideas of love. Marriages could be business contracts to deal with treaties or land, to prevent wars and keep the peace. In some old testament marriages the parents would be the ones making the arrangements and the couples would meet at the wedding. Love was something that was expected to grow after the marriage, not a condition beforehand. I have spoken to friends who have had arranged marriages and they say it is easier to love in their situation because they know that their parents have worked hard to find the right person for them. They have saved themselves for that one person and so all their commitment and hope of love go into that relationship. They do not look around trying to choose someone or question if they are the right one. The chosen person is their best hope at happiness (This is a summary of things that have been told to me).
Can a man love only one woman? I would say it depends on the commitment of the man, and the marriage on the commitment of both people.
 
Nov 26, 2012
3,095
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No where in the Bible does it tell anyone to marry more than one person.
There is no example of it in the New Testament, rather, there is instruction for those who have an exemplary role, to have only one wife.

When Y'shua returns, His Bride will be one. There will be one marriage supper.

God did not seem to condemn Samson and Judah when they went with prostitutes, Rahab was a prostitute.
The Bible makes it clear that this is wrong. So, we cannot assume that, because God does not openly condemn something, that it is His will.
He told Hosea to marry a harlot. So we cannot assume that, because God does something in a specific situation, that this is His standard and instruction for the rest of humanity and time.

Blessed are the pure in heart for they will see God.
Because we are raised with people telling us what we should think, and we have an endless list of rules and guidelines, we think we need a concrete yes or no for everything. The problem with that is we lose the ability to make an intelligent decision.

God didn’t forbid polygamy and prostitution. It might not be his design but sometimes, although it’s not preferred, it’s practical. If there’s a war or sickness and many men have died, it might be favourable. We can’t wrap our heads around it because media has caused us to have this fairy tail concept of marriage. Maybe one man would be a better husband to three wives than another could be to one. The truth of the matter is that marriage is a big commitment, physically and mentally. As Christians, our calling to love, makes marriage an even greater challenge. Our commitment is to be for Christ. Marriage even to one woman divides this. Paul didn’t recommend monogamy because polygamy wasn’t permitted or problematic, it’s simply impractical.
 

HeraldtheNews

Well-known member
Apr 26, 2012
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The kings of Israel didn't have multiple wives out of our romantic ideas of love. Marriages could be business contracts to deal with treaties or land, to prevent wars and keep the peace. In some old testament marriages the parents would be the ones making the arrangements and the couples would meet at the wedding. Love was something that was expected to grow after the marriage, not a condition beforehand. I have spoken to friends who have had arranged marriages and they say it is easier to love in their situation because they know that their parents have worked hard to find the right person for them. They have saved themselves for that one person and so all their commitment and hope of love go into that relationship. They do not look around trying to choose someone or question if they are the right one. The chosen person is their best hope at happiness (This is a summary of things that have been told to me).
Can a man love only one woman? I would say it depends on the commitment of the man, and the marriage on the commitment of both people.
I agree with you on what you are saying. And I still love my mom. But, me and my ex, we just arranged our own marriage and hoped for the best and a church confirmation. But then, I got excommunicated, and moved back to my own apartment to hide from her because she would chase me up there and start yelling at me, and my next door neighbor, a dear kind lady, who cared about me protected me from her. But, when I went to get my things, police came and there was a lot of shouting, and she insulted me on texts and said how happy she was that I wasn't at Thanksgiving dinner and what a good time they had without me.
But we had a peaceful goodbye dinner at McDonald's, and the court said we qualified for a free divorce over the phone, and we hugged each other a year later at a store after I recovered from the PTSD with lots of therapy, which was a happy healing moment.

So, I think you're right that as long as someone else arranges the marriage, things might go better. But, I forgive her and we helped each other out and had some worthwhile times and enjoyed watching cable TV and listening to music in our underwear. But people should try and plan ahead, and pray for God's help to arrange the perfect matches.