Unhappily Never After.

Hey Everyone,

When I was in my teens, I set a few goals before God that I hoped I would eventually meet someday. It's been a long time, but the past few years, I finally got to a place in life where I realized that God had answered some of my prayers from so long ago.

However, it certainly didn't turn out the way I thought, or in the way I thought it would happen. I had "planned" to be married with 2-4 kids, along with other various scenarios, but that's not how it went. (It reminds me of the saying, "People make plans -- and God laughs.")

While there are times I wish my life would have turned out differently, I also have to be honest in that if life would have gone the way I thought I wanted at the time (for instance, if the person, job, location, etc., had all worked out the way I wanted according to my OWN will and not God's), I would most likely be living an Unhappily Never After. For example, I might have had a family, but it might have been with the wrong person or under very less-than-ideal circumstances that made things a lot tougher than they had to be.

I most definitely believe that God can "work all things to our good" despite what happens, but I also know that if I had followed "my" vision for my life, I would have made (or tried to make) some lousy choices that would have canceled out my original goals.

How about all of you?

* Did you have a "Happily Ever After" that you planned out for your life? How has it gone so far?

* What things have happened in your life that set you on a different path, whether by your own choices, or life circumstances?

* Did not getting what you wanted or not meeting the original vision for your life spare you from an "Unhappily Never After"? In what way?

Like anyone else, I still have a lot of "What If's" in my life, but, I'm starting to learn that for my life at least, God put me on an alternate route to a destination I never would have considered.

But for now, I'm ok with that.

What about you?

So many things I thought
Would bring me happiness
Some dreams that are
Realities today
Such an irony, the things
That mean the most to me
Are the memories that I've made
Along the way

"Life is what happens while you are making other plans. If you don't learn to wing it, you'll never get anything accomplished."

Thanks @seoulsearch for another thought-provoking post. One of the key elements needed to answer your questions is to define happiness. This is no easy task, as the meaning of this word has changed over time and means different things to different people.

For us Christians, we, of course, define happiness based on the Bible. When I hear the words “happily ever after,” I am reminded of fairy tales and Disney. Mixing the world’s “Disney” version of happiness with living a godly life in Christ Jesus is an absolute impossibility.

Check out this insightful article for beginning/continuing the process of biblically defining happiness.

https://bestirrednotshaken.com/christian-living/pursuit-of-happiness-joy-in-the-bible/

When i was in 4th or 5th grade we went on a field trip to an old country fair in this historical colonial village. There was a palm reader there who was giving us all free palm readings. She told me I would be married twice and have 5 children lol. I don't have too many years left so my first wife better show up soon!

Because sometimes other people say things so much better:

oh.man.

my plan was to be married by 25 to either a traveling preacher or the lead singer of a band lololol.

then i was dating a guy back in my college days, and i was fine with being the wife of a youth pastor.

praise the Lord none of it went the way i wanted lolol.

Well now! I had an idea that kinda parallels this thinking that I was going to make (hopefully) a thread from.

But since you beat me to it....

Yes, for sure! I thought I wanted 5 kids till I had 2. Then I was ready to be done. My wife wanted 2 kids till we had 2. Then she wanted 5.

I thought I would grow old with my wife and that she would out live me.

I thought I wanted to marry a girl I went to school with.

I thought I wanted to have a cabin at the mountains.

Welp...things turned out very differently.

I didn't marry the girl from school...thank the Lord! That would have been a world of heartache.

I didn't get that cabin. I wouldn't have had time to enjoy it.

So yeah there are those things that you hoped for that didn't happen. And there were some things that you hoped wouldn't happen and they did. But God is good and works in wonderful and amazing ways.

Thanks for stealing my thread thought, seoulsearch! 😝😁🤣

Great post as it brings into focus the reality of how many of our lives have turned out this far compared to how we expected it to.
I most definitely expected to be married by now with kids and possibly be involved with running a music studio for talented Christian singers
I also expected my Christian path to be smooth without many dark times.
I expected blessings and real breakthroughs for my siblings most definitely.

I have had relationships and God in his mercy got me outta there as they would of ruined me.Trusting God much more now and have learnt to be much more wise and discerning.

Not involved in music..my career had been lead by God for I am a sign language interpreter full time and lead the deaf ministry In my local church.We interpreter the Sunday services for deaf member of the church.

My siblings are of course blessed by God for sure but haven't had certain breakthroughs I expected then to have.
My Christian path has had many dark valleys and dangers that God delived me from over the years..most definitely hasn't been easy but God has been faithful,merciful and much more.
Praise his HOLY NAME

For me, since I am different with how I think thanks to my disability. I was very adamant on not having children nor getting married, cause babies can be gross/annoying and the best way to avoid having children, is to not be married. Plus, in high school they said: “Have a job in something you like”, so I figured I like videogames (I like animals too, but I could never “put down an animal”, it’s too sad) and went to college for videogames.

But with stuff happening in college/this virus pandemic, has made me being more interested in dating and getting new friends (Cause I never wanted new friends, “live alone, die alone”, lol) is something I never thought I would want. I realized how lonely life can be, especially during this pandemic and in college, and now I want friends who are okay and accept me. Cause I feel like a lot of my “generation” wouldn’t accept me, so being on here has given me the interaction I’ve been wanting ^_^

Until we learn to walk in his will...we open ourselves to that 'unhappiness'.
I'm still learning just like everyone else.

We go through the failures and consequences for doing things our own way but, if we seek the Lord and live in His will, we gain wisdom. Only then do we find ourselves in a much better place. Spiritually, financially, mentally, and physically...our blessings increase and we find God answering those needs and hearts desires beyond what we even dreamed for ourselves.
TRUTH!
Seek ye FIRST the kindgdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you.
Matt. 6:33.

I can so relate to this. I grew up feeling pretty isolated, and I consoled myself by creating this elaborate fantasy of how my life would be when I grew up. In some ways, I exceeded my own expectations, but in other ways, I still feel so left behind.

I thought I would be married by now. I thought at my age that I'd "have it all figured out". But there's still so much I don't know, and sometimes I think I'm getting barely getting by (I'm actually doing fine).

I've wondered about a lot of "what-if" situations in life. I wish I had married younger. I feel like I am missing out on so much by sharing my younger years with someone (when I am more impressionable and open).

But, I've learned that no matter what you do in life, you're going to have regrets. You can't take every possible path. I know a lot of people who regret marrying young. Who regret not "knowing better". Who regret missed experiences.

In Ecclesiastes, Solomon talked about his own existential angst. And, he had everything. But even if you have everything, you are still missing out on something. When you get what you want when you want it, it feels far less satisfying than wanting something for a long time and eventually getting it.

At the end of the day, I've learned it's important to accept my current circumstances. Otherwise, I will be miserable all the time. I have been in relationships and wished I was single, and I've been single and wished I was in a relationship. I do have a deep desire to be married, but I have the maturity to understand that it's not the end-all-be-all of life.

Im not really a planner, even though have done a business plan last year and could STILL possibly use it at some stage. (hah. back then they didnt mention anything about covid-19)
Certainly in my teens I didnt plan anything. I was just trying to survive. I thought the world was doomed because of pollution anyway and that I wouldnt live very long.

well the world is still doomed and Im still here so its some kind of miracle! hallulujah!
The good thing though, is I am secretly taking over the land with flowers so every year I just plant more flowers and then the plan is...these flowers will attract more bees and butterflies and joy into peoples lives and thats all you can ask for really.

Every spring, theres more and more flowers because the thing with flowers is they keep multiplying. aside from flowers the leaves are photosyntethising and the soil is getting renewed and enriched by the composting action.

But the thing is and I learned the hard way is that youve got to do your gardening in secret because if you try to PLAN something its never going to go the way YOU plan, because nature has its own rythyms than need to be respected.

oh was this thread about something else? fairy tales? I dont know what you read as your happily ever afters fairy tale but mine was The Secret Garden.

I wasnt really a fan of the disney princess ones as they were quite uneealistic. I dont know about you but here, people dont marry princes and become princesses, because the only royals live in the UK and they dont set up residential palaces in nz. Here, if you have a 2 story house, thats considered a mansion, even if its a weatherboard villa that needs constant maintainence and. huge heating bill in winter. Here, nobody had had heard of insulation until very recent times people even built brand new homes and wondered why they started rotting after a few downpours!
and even some churches were still paying off their mortgages 60 years later while their windowpanes were rotting and badly in need of repair.

so yea the Disney Princess thing. Only in america. You can go to disney land supoosedly the happiest place on earth, but I havent been so, not sure if I will ever get there now. I know people who e been but never been an aspiration of mine. I was more keen on Garfield and checking out where Jim Davis came from (Muncie Indiana) and thought it was kinda cool he grew up on a farm. My thing back then was to become a world famous cat cartoonist but didnt quite get there (yet) but there is still hope. Now Im back with the 5-11 year old age group its so interesting to find out what their hopes and dreams are for the future, I can assure you, the last thing on their minds is to get married. They are more concerned with whether they will get pizza for lunch next week, or if they will see their friends!

not sure how that got derailed but I think its just high school happened and the. the pressure to do well in exams left no time for anything else. I dont know I just never adjusted to high school. If I were to advise youngsters today it would be to go after their passions rather than grades because nothing worse than learning a whole bunch of stuff you are never going to use and getting all stressed out by it.

The thing is a lot of people dont realise that if you are poor its going to be on YOU to be the breadwinner in the family and for some families they need that money NOW not in ten years time so thats why many youngpeople drop out of school as education is expensive and they would rather be earning...even if the job they go to is a dead end one. But a lot of policy makers in govt just assumed everyone is middleclass and everyone has the means to study for years on end. (a bursary only gave you $200. You could buy maybe 3 textbooks with it)

Oh that! 😅 that is my life 😁

I am not a planner I don't plan for myself ...but less than a year ago If i am not mistaken I decided to purchase a home for myself so that when I go back home I will not be living in someone else's home 😅 this is the only plan i do for myself but you know we dontKnow what tomorrow will bring only God knows so i lift this to God 🙏🏼


Many things in my life didn't turn out the way I wanted it... it is hard...but I understand that sometimes some things are not meant to be in your life no matter how hard we'll try to get them...some doors will close no matter how much you wanted them to stay open...some people will give up on you...some people will walk away from you...it hurts but you are going to be fine ...just never forget this...remember what it taught you ☺

I have this "go,grow, glow"motto in my life 😅 Just keep moving keep going...keep growing and keep glowing because you never know what's around the corner 😊


Yeah,funny me how optimistic I become as I get older 😅 not young anymore but I am still hopeful about life and love ❤ My hope is like the percentage of my phone battery sometimes it is 5% sometimes it dies but it charges back...sometimes it is 20% sometimes it is 100% but no matter what happens to me no matter how little hope left in my heart I'll never let go of it .... because that is all i got that is what keeps me going I am still hoping that one day Life and love will turn in favor of me... despite the circumtances right now no matter how long Im gonna wait I hope there is still happilly ever after for me God willing 😊

LOL, this is the story of my life...
Yes, I had a "Happily Ever After" planned out for my life... and I believed that I was living that life for 25+ years...
What set me on a new and different spiritual path/journey was when I learned that wife1.0 had decided and was compelled to leave the marriage... Lots of background and contributing factors that have been shared over the years here...

But at the end of the day and learning more about myself and striving to be the best I can be along my new spiritual journey - my biggest lesson was that it was never about "my plan" - it has always been about HIS WILL and HIS MASTER PLAN...

With my renewed trust and faith in HIM I believe that with HIS blessings - HIS Plan is the Plan that will ultimately bless my life with HIS ultimate "Happily Ever After"... in HIS time and according to HIS will...

Thought I'd check in. I've been pretty busy slipping into psychosis of late. So, I read your quote's first sentence and thought it said "When I was in my teens, I set a few goats before God that I hoped I would meet somebody." And I thought "well ok. she's gone messianic Hebrew on us, but we can talk to her and it's probably salvageable, it'll be ok, then I re-read and saw my mistake. Clearly I've been watching too many homesteading videos.

That brings me to a self reflecting truth. My plans are crap. And short lived. I am so in the moment it's a wonder I just didn't suddenly pop into existence. Looking forward is useless and looking back is painful; oh God sometimes painful. But I've been brave too. I've stood up for someone weak and I was a regular hero once. And I was a coward.

No 'whatif's'. I usually know the answer to what if. No happy ever after if you don't consider the future. And if I'm not sure of God's will in my life I can usually rest assured it would be that of rectification of sin I've long remembered and God's long forgotten.

And I know who you are Kireina. You can't mask what your name means.

Dang 17, you said a whole lot in so little space. Gonna have my gears turnin on this.

Long remembered...................

Well.... He was actually born in Marion Indiana, and lived on a farm in Fairmount Indiana (little south of Marion off State Road 9) also home to the james dean festival in September. and actually lives now in Albany Indiana which is north east of Muncie on State Road 28/67 Not all that far from where I am actually.