I should have grown up. Now I am 30 years old with no direction in life and no clear decisions.

All my life I was pampered by my mom and because of that, I have not a care in the world with problems. Basically from what I was when I was a teenager, this is the same mindset I have.
Since I was a kid and up until now, My mom does all the work at home. She does all the laundry, she's the one who cooks food, basically she does everything and it makes me feel guilty and useless. Up until now this is the case and I haven’t improved.
By this time I should have been helping with the laundry, the dishes, the cooking, cleaning the house and everything else housekeeping related. I should have learned how to do “manly” stuff like fixing the sink, changing a car tire, going on adventures, learned to overcome my fear of heights, etc. Instead, I stay at home all day doing nothing but playing games, not talking with people, or hiding when people come to our house.
I am a picky eater and eat mostly unhealthy food. I only eat soft or comfort food which in turn didn’t make me any leaner and more muscular. I have a body of that of a frail little boy. I don’t have strong hands, arms or legs, I can’t run that fast and sweat easily. This is because I don’t exercise and don’t have a healthy lifestyle.
I spent my whole life just playing video games, watching too much anime, movies, Netflix, I had no goals in life, no direction, not thinking about the future. Because of that, It took me very long to finish a single course which took me 8 years. Gaming, Anime and Movies became my life instead.
I am not a people person at all. I hide when visitors come to our house. And because I have made this a habit, I am awkward when trying to approach a person and ask questions. I always get bullied and can become the laughing stock of the group.
I was lucky enough to land a job related to my career which was an electrician and but it involved heights and my fear of heights wasn’t helping, it also required some muscle like carrying big things and doing troubleshooting things and like I said, I have a frail body so basically I was useless.
Since I suck at being an electrician, they placed me over to do admin stuff related paperworks at the same company. Again, I had difficulty because all of there are so many variables to work with and I kept doing wrong things. The manager got so mad at me and I had to get tutored so many times by the staff and they started to hate me.
They put up with me until the end of my contract and were relieved that I was finally gone and replaced with someone with actual skill and someone who had the muscle and the brain.
Then I went freelance. I was able to manage it because they are mostly small businesses, not a lot of variables and was thinking this could be a good career. Then COVID happened and the instability of freelance affected me. I lost a client and then I started to panic and worry that we won’t be having any money left.
Now at this point I began to panic, all of this overthinking, my anxiety and depression was triggered and regrets and worries began to flood my mind.
I am experiencing:
-heartbreak
-palpitation of the heart
-cannot sleep due to heartbreak and the palpitation
-loss of appetite
-slight chills
-loss of passion to do the things I want and love
I keep asking myself what if I finished school earlier? What if I just developed my manhood instead of staying what I was when I was just a kid? Maybe I could have earned a lot more money and did not have to worry about our finances, my parents medication because they are now too old,
And then I just told myself: I should have grown up.

All my life I was pampered by my mom and because of that, I have not a care in the world with problems. Basically from what I was when I was a teenager, this is the same mindset I have.
Since I was a kid and up until now, My mom does all the work at home. She does all the laundry, she's the one who cooks food, basically she does everything and it makes me feel guilty and useless. Up until now this is the case and I haven’t improved.
By this time I should have been helping with the laundry, the dishes, the cooking, cleaning the house and everything else housekeeping related. I should have learned how to do “manly” stuff like fixing the sink, changing a car tire, going on adventures, learned to overcome my fear of heights, etc. Instead, I stay at home all day doing nothing but playing games, not talking with people, or hiding when people come to our house.
I am a picky eater and eat mostly unhealthy food. I only eat soft or comfort food which in turn didn’t make me any leaner and more muscular. I have a body of that of a frail little boy. I don’t have strong hands, arms or legs, I can’t run that fast and sweat easily. This is because I don’t exercise and don’t have a healthy lifestyle.
I spent my whole life just playing video games, watching too much anime, movies, Netflix, I had no goals in life, no direction, not thinking about the future. Because of that, It took me very long to finish a single course which took me 8 years. Gaming, Anime and Movies became my life instead.
I am not a people person at all. I hide when visitors come to our house. And because I have made this a habit, I am awkward when trying to approach a person and ask questions. I always get bullied and can become the laughing stock of the group.
I was lucky enough to land a job related to my career which was an electrician and but it involved heights and my fear of heights wasn’t helping, it also required some muscle like carrying big things and doing troubleshooting things and like I said, I have a frail body so basically I was useless.
Since I suck at being an electrician, they placed me over to do admin stuff related paperworks at the same company. Again, I had difficulty because all of there are so many variables to work with and I kept doing wrong things. The manager got so mad at me and I had to get tutored so many times by the staff and they started to hate me.
They put up with me until the end of my contract and were relieved that I was finally gone and replaced with someone with actual skill and someone who had the muscle and the brain.
Then I went freelance. I was able to manage it because they are mostly small businesses, not a lot of variables and was thinking this could be a good career. Then COVID happened and the instability of freelance affected me. I lost a client and then I started to panic and worry that we won’t be having any money left.
Now at this point I began to panic, all of this overthinking, my anxiety and depression was triggered and regrets and worries began to flood my mind.
I am experiencing:
-heartbreak
-palpitation of the heart
-cannot sleep due to heartbreak and the palpitation
-loss of appetite
-slight chills
-loss of passion to do the things I want and love
I keep asking myself what if I finished school earlier? What if I just developed my manhood instead of staying what I was when I was just a kid? Maybe I could have earned a lot more money and did not have to worry about our finances, my parents medication because they are now too old,
And then I just told myself: I should have grown up.

You are having an identity crisis.

All my life I was pampered by my mom and because of that, I have not a care in the world with problems. Basically from what I was when I was a teenager, this is the same mindset I have.
Since I was a kid and up until now, My mom does all the work at home. She does all the laundry, she's the one who cooks food, basically she does everything and it makes me feel guilty and useless. Up until now this is the case and I haven’t improved.
By this time I should have been helping with the laundry, the dishes, the cooking, cleaning the house and everything else housekeeping related. I should have learned how to do “manly” stuff like fixing the sink, changing a car tire, going on adventures, learned to overcome my fear of heights, etc. Instead, I stay at home all day doing nothing but playing games, not talking with people, or hiding when people come to our house.
I am a picky eater and eat mostly unhealthy food. I only eat soft or comfort food which in turn didn’t make me any leaner and more muscular. I have a body of that of a frail little boy. I don’t have strong hands, arms or legs, I can’t run that fast and sweat easily. This is because I don’t exercise and don’t have a healthy lifestyle.
I spent my whole life just playing video games, watching too much anime, movies, Netflix, I had no goals in life, no direction, not thinking about the future. Because of that, It took me very long to finish a single course which took me 8 years. Gaming, Anime and Movies became my life instead.
I am not a people person at all. I hide when visitors come to our house. And because I have made this a habit, I am awkward when trying to approach a person and ask questions. I always get bullied and can become the laughing stock of the group.
I was lucky enough to land a job related to my career which was an electrician and but it involved heights and my fear of heights wasn’t helping, it also required some muscle like carrying big things and doing troubleshooting things and like I said, I have a frail body so basically I was useless.
Since I suck at being an electrician, they placed me over to do admin stuff related paperworks at the same company. Again, I had difficulty because all of there are so many variables to work with and I kept doing wrong things. The manager got so mad at me and I had to get tutored so many times by the staff and they started to hate me.
They put up with me until the end of my contract and were relieved that I was finally gone and replaced with someone with actual skill and someone who had the muscle and the brain.
Then I went freelance. I was able to manage it because they are mostly small businesses, not a lot of variables and was thinking this could be a good career. Then COVID happened and the instability of freelance affected me. I lost a client and then I started to panic and worry that we won’t be having any money left.
Now at this point I began to panic, all of this overthinking, my anxiety and depression was triggered and regrets and worries began to flood my mind.
I am experiencing:
-heartbreak
-palpitation of the heart
-cannot sleep due to heartbreak and the palpitation
-loss of appetite
-slight chills
-loss of passion to do the things I want and love
I keep asking myself what if I finished school earlier? What if I just developed my manhood instead of staying what I was when I was just a kid? Maybe I could have earned a lot more money and did not have to worry about our finances, my parents medication because they are now too old,
And then I just told myself: I should have grown up.

All my life I was pampered by my mom and because of that, I have not a care in the world with problems. Basically from what I was when I was a teenager, this is the same mindset I have.
Since I was a kid and up until now, My mom does all the work at home. She does all the laundry, she's the one who cooks food, basically she does everything and it makes me feel guilty and useless. Up until now this is the case and I haven’t improved.
By this time I should have been helping with the laundry, the dishes, the cooking, cleaning the house and everything else housekeeping related. I should have learned how to do “manly” stuff like fixing the sink, changing a car tire, going on adventures, learned to overcome my fear of heights, etc. Instead, I stay at home all day doing nothing but playing games, not talking with people, or hiding when people come to our house.
I am a picky eater and eat mostly unhealthy food. I only eat soft or comfort food which in turn didn’t make me any leaner and more muscular. I have a body of that of a frail little boy. I don’t have strong hands, arms or legs, I can’t run that fast and sweat easily. This is because I don’t exercise and don’t have a healthy lifestyle.
I spent my whole life just playing video games, watching too much anime, movies, Netflix, I had no goals in life, no direction, not thinking about the future. Because of that, It took me very long to finish a single course which took me 8 years. Gaming, Anime and Movies became my life instead.
I am not a people person at all. I hide when visitors come to our house. And because I have made this a habit, I am awkward when trying to approach a person and ask questions. I always get bullied and can become the laughing stock of the group.
I was lucky enough to land a job related to my career which was an electrician and but it involved heights and my fear of heights wasn’t helping, it also required some muscle like carrying big things and doing troubleshooting things and like I said, I have a frail body so basically I was useless.
Since I suck at being an electrician, they placed me over to do admin stuff related paperworks at the same company. Again, I had difficulty because all of there are so many variables to work with and I kept doing wrong things. The manager got so mad at me and I had to get tutored so many times by the staff and they started to hate me.
They put up with me until the end of my contract and were relieved that I was finally gone and replaced with someone with actual skill and someone who had the muscle and the brain.
Then I went freelance. I was able to manage it because they are mostly small businesses, not a lot of variables and was thinking this could be a good career. Then COVID happened and the instability of freelance affected me. I lost a client and then I started to panic and worry that we won’t be having any money left.
Now at this point I began to panic, all of this overthinking, my anxiety and depression was triggered and regrets and worries began to flood my mind.
I am experiencing:
-heartbreak
-palpitation of the heart
-cannot sleep due to heartbreak and the palpitation
-loss of appetite
-slight chills
-loss of passion to do the things I want and love
I keep asking myself what if I finished school earlier? What if I just developed my manhood instead of staying what I was when I was just a kid? Maybe I could have earned a lot more money and did not have to worry about our finances, my parents medication because they are now too old,
And then I just told myself: I should have grown up.

All my life I was pampered by my mom and because of that, I have not a care in the world with problems. Basically from what I was when I was a teenager, this is the same mindset I have.
Since I was a kid and up until now, My mom does all the work at home. She does all the laundry, she's the one who cooks food, basically she does everything and it makes me feel guilty and useless. Up until now this is the case and I haven’t improved.
By this time I should have been helping with the laundry, the dishes, the cooking, cleaning the house and everything else housekeeping related. I should have learned how to do “manly” stuff like fixing the sink, changing a car tire, going on adventures, learned to overcome my fear of heights, etc. Instead, I stay at home all day doing nothing but playing games, not talking with people, or hiding when people come to our house.
I am a picky eater and eat mostly unhealthy food. I only eat soft or comfort food which in turn didn’t make me any leaner and more muscular. I have a body of that of a frail little boy. I don’t have strong hands, arms or legs, I can’t run that fast and sweat easily. This is because I don’t exercise and don’t have a healthy lifestyle.
I spent my whole life just playing video games, watching too much anime, movies, Netflix, I had no goals in life, no direction, not thinking about the future. Because of that, It took me very long to finish a single course which took me 8 years. Gaming, Anime and Movies became my life instead.
I am not a people person at all. I hide when visitors come to our house. And because I have made this a habit, I am awkward when trying to approach a person and ask questions. I always get bullied and can become the laughing stock of the group.
I was lucky enough to land a job related to my career which was an electrician and but it involved heights and my fear of heights wasn’t helping, it also required some muscle like carrying big things and doing troubleshooting things and like I said, I have a frail body so basically I was useless.
Since I suck at being an electrician, they placed me over to do admin stuff related paperworks at the same company. Again, I had difficulty because all of there are so many variables to work with and I kept doing wrong things. The manager got so mad at me and I had to get tutored so many times by the staff and they started to hate me.
They put up with me until the end of my contract and were relieved that I was finally gone and replaced with someone with actual skill and someone who had the muscle and the brain.
Then I went freelance. I was able to manage it because they are mostly small businesses, not a lot of variables and was thinking this could be a good career. Then COVID happened and the instability of freelance affected me. I lost a client and then I started to panic and worry that we won’t be having any money left.
Now at this point I began to panic, all of this overthinking, my anxiety and depression was triggered and regrets and worries began to flood my mind.
I am experiencing:
-heartbreak
-palpitation of the heart
-cannot sleep due to heartbreak and the palpitation
-loss of appetite
-slight chills
-loss of passion to do the things I want and love
I keep asking myself what if I finished school earlier? What if I just developed my manhood instead of staying what I was when I was just a kid? Maybe I could have earned a lot more money and did not have to worry about our finances, my parents medication because they are now too old,
And then I just told myself: I should have grown up.

You said you were tired of being babied by your mom so I’ll give you some reality checks.

Stop looking back on what could’ve been. Get a job in any field for at least 40 hours a week, save some money, and get an apartment to do the things your moms been doing for you. And to pay your own bills.

Start with those.

I know it’s scary to try something new. Cooking was that for me! But I looked up easy recipes online and on YouTube. Now I have maybe 5 meals I’m pretty comfortable with.

I’ve come to do a lot of searches on YouTube for tutorials. The other day I needed to come up with a cleaning solution to mop the floor. YouTube helped lol. Anytime my husband sees work needed on the cars, he’ll use YouTube to see if it’s something he can do.

Things take practice. But the more we practice, the easier it may get. I’m fully confident in cooking spaghetti lol

Since I'm married I seldom venture into this forum. But the title to your thread made me come and take a look. I fell into a similar pattern that you have. I had health issues that kept me close to home and stresses made me worse. I was depressed, had no skills and didn't know what I was going to do with my life. I began traveling and singing with my family and did that for a lot of years, but that didn't help me grow personally. My younger sister was talented, skilled at various things, outgoing and beautiful. It wasn't long before she found herself a husband and began having children. And me? I was just sitting at home wasting away, like you are. I hadn't even dated anyone. I felt hopeless and behind my back my family was saying all kinds of things. I knew it and it hurt.

Around my 40th birthday I did something huge in decision making, something I never did before, I dated. And I fell hard, of course, I had no experience in dating. My family hated the guy, again they talked behind my back. Before long he lived up to their expectations and moved for a job. We were suppose to be having a LD relationship but that didn't last and his brother told me he moved in with a woman. Yeah, so I was devastated and back to square one. I just wanted to give up. I remember my mother trying to cheer me up. She said "by next Christmas, you might have someone". I stood in the store surround by Christmas decorations and cried right there.

That summer I did in fact meet someone. He was a wonderful guy and I feel in love again. But this time I was really going to take my time. I kept the brakes on and three years we dated. One day I finally broke down and said I had health issues and I had no skills to be a wife. I couldn't cook, clean, laundry, none of it. And the man that is my husband today said " I'm marrying you because I love you, not because I need a maid." He said he could cook so I didn't need to. And so I finally agreed to get married. We bought a house and moved in. Hubby did the cooking, had the kitchen set the way he liked it and I sat watching him make the meal. I offered to help but what help could I be? One day when he was at work I looked in the kitchen and I made a decision. I was going to master every tool, I was going to learn to cook and bake, clean and keep my house. My family joked and said they felt sorry for my husband. I stepped in the kitchen and made it my home. I learned to cook and bake and clean. I have a two story home, not bragging, just saying I mastered it. I made a choice. As sister Mag said, I hit bottom. I found I had a skill in baking and cooking. So much so that hubby gained too much weight and the doc told him he better slow down. lol

So I told you all that to say this, you can change. It's not too late. Depression makes you loose interest. But pick one thing and trying to be successful at it. It will boost your confidence. You don't have to be outgoing, plenty of people are shy. And most shy people end up with out going people. So don't worry about it. Baby steps. The internet has a world of information. Learn to cook a little, learn some things to boost your confidence and make you feel "adult". It will do you a world of good. Trust me. People will begin to treat you differently. I don't know if you are a Christian, but that will help you pull out of depression. If I can marry at 40ish + and become a homemaker and more, you can do whatever you set your mind to. It's not too late! Not even a little. Be encouraged, start small and come back and tell us how you are doing. You can do this!!

All my life I was pampered by my mom and because of that, I have not a care in the world with problems. Basically from what I was when I was a teenager, this is the same mindset I have.
Since I was a kid and up until now, My mom does all the work at home. She does all the laundry, she's the one who cooks food, basically she does everything and it makes me feel guilty and useless. Up until now this is the case and I haven’t improved.
By this time I should have been helping with the laundry, the dishes, the cooking, cleaning the house and everything else housekeeping related. I should have learned how to do “manly” stuff like fixing the sink, changing a car tire, going on adventures, learned to overcome my fear of heights, etc. Instead, I stay at home all day doing nothing but playing games, not talking with people, or hiding when people come to our house.
I am a picky eater and eat mostly unhealthy food. I only eat soft or comfort food which in turn didn’t make me any leaner and more muscular. I have a body of that of a frail little boy. I don’t have strong hands, arms or legs, I can’t run that fast and sweat easily. This is because I don’t exercise and don’t have a healthy lifestyle.
I spent my whole life just playing video games, watching too much anime, movies, Netflix, I had no goals in life, no direction, not thinking about the future. Because of that, It took me very long to finish a single course which took me 8 years. Gaming, Anime and Movies became my life instead.
I am not a people person at all. I hide when visitors come to our house. And because I have made this a habit, I am awkward when trying to approach a person and ask questions. I always get bullied and can become the laughing stock of the group.
I was lucky enough to land a job related to my career which was an electrician and but it involved heights and my fear of heights wasn’t helping, it also required some muscle like carrying big things and doing troubleshooting things and like I said, I have a frail body so basically I was useless.
Since I suck at being an electrician, they placed me over to do admin stuff related paperworks at the same company. Again, I had difficulty because all of there are so many variables to work with and I kept doing wrong things. The manager got so mad at me and I had to get tutored so many times by the staff and they started to hate me.
They put up with me until the end of my contract and were relieved that I was finally gone and replaced with someone with actual skill and someone who had the muscle and the brain.
Then I went freelance. I was able to manage it because they are mostly small businesses, not a lot of variables and was thinking this could be a good career. Then COVID happened and the instability of freelance affected me. I lost a client and then I started to panic and worry that we won’t be having any money left.
Now at this point I began to panic, all of this overthinking, my anxiety and depression was triggered and regrets and worries began to flood my mind.
I am experiencing:
-heartbreak
-palpitation of the heart
-cannot sleep due to heartbreak and the palpitation
-loss of appetite
-slight chills
-loss of passion to do the things I want and love
I keep asking myself what if I finished school earlier? What if I just developed my manhood instead of staying what I was when I was just a kid? Maybe I could have earned a lot more money and did not have to worry about our finances, my parents medication because they are now too old,
And then I just told myself: I should have grown up.

I'm fully confident in boiling water. Just kidding - used to be a chef.

its not too late to learn how to cook, its pretty much cutting up food, adding seasoning if needed, heating it, and not burning it!


maybe its a cautionary tale, but if I see any child in school (im the librarian) that seems obssessed with video games I get concerned. Firstly, that their parents are spoiling them and secondly they will become addicted. like the obnoxious mike teavee.

So thanks for sharing your story, because I would like these children to grow up. One of the staff told me her ex gave her son expensive tv and video games and a phone, well she got so mad as he spent all his time gaming that he never had any time to learn anything, she smashed his phone and ran over the tv with the car. Then he had to tell his dad, dad, dont give me anything expensive cos mum will just smash it up.