Very concerned about Hebrews 10:26 (New Member)

The same circumstances you describe similarly apply to me.

Years ago, I was bored so I began reading Ezekiel in the Bible. As I read it, I was afraid because something in me knew that all the railing from God was directed to us. Many think, oh, that's the Old Testament, God was different back then.

I studied the Bible for about a year with much devotion then lost interest.

About ten years later, I felt ashamed for not studying it anymore so I picked it up again.

The very Hebrews chapter/verse you cited also worried me. Not only that, when I was reading about Saul, how God gave him his Holy Spirit and even caused him to prophesy among the prophets, then God took his Spirit and his mercy away from Saul and we all know the end of Saul.

That's heartbreaking and it makes me wonder.

But, since God had arranged everything well in advance, even before the creation of everything, if he had purposed to spare me and hide me in Christ, then he will do it regardless of my concerns. And if not, well ... woe is me.

The very best thing you can do to help calm yourself and relax somewhat is to read Psalm 119. Read it every day. Every day read it as a daily prayer to God. It's what I do. I don't know what to pray for and it sure seems to me that Psalm 119 is written for our benefit to help us ask the right things of God.

Here are some antidotes for those who are terrorized by such passages as Heb 6...

Romans 5:9-10 ESV
[9] Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. [10] For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life.

John 5:24 ESV
[24] Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life. He does not come into judgment, but has passed from death to life.

Philippians 1:6 ESV
[6] And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.

Good afternoon. I grew up christian, but didn't go to church, didn't live much different. September last year I started going to church.(OPC)
I went for about 2.5-3 months, and started praying, and then the Holy Spirit came into my life. For the first 2 weeks, I was just IN LOVE with God.
I stopped swearing very quickly, the hate in my heart went away, my talk otherwise cleaned up. That went away, (being IN LOVE with God, I think Satan got involved) and I got very anxious and depressed. I cut out everything bad in my life that were obvious, visible sins. Stopped watching ungodly TV, radio, etc. Looked away from any woman when driving down the road. I still struggled, but overall I was really trying, which might have fed my pride, which I prayed about.
There were times of great peace, when I truly felt like everything made sense, Christ died for my sins,etc. I confessed my sins and the guilt started going away, though I don't know if I have saving faith. I was starting to walk in grace a bit, when I realized I made a mistake, I'd confess it. I tended to focus on the worst versus in the Bible, Parable of the Sower, Hebrews 10:26, etc. I also just started reading The Pilgrims Progress, and the man in the cage stood out to me. On Thursday (last week), I was on my phone, and got this conviction that I shouldn't be. I finished the email and repented, but everything felt HORRIBLE. Like the Holy Spirit had left me. I feel hard. For a few days, I felt extremely empty, but now I feel sort of normal. I've struggled I feel very convinced that I'm hell bound. I've talked to 3 pastors and another man I trust, and they think I'll be fine. They mostly think that 10:26 applies to apostacy, but the way it reads, I don't like it. What are your thoughts?. Thank you

A number of things crossed my mind reading this.
I'll first reiterate what crossnote said. Faith and feelings are often in opposition. And if your faith is based on how you feel your faith will never last. Faith is trusting something even when there is no evidence to support it. Whether you're rich and successful or broke and in prison, faith should be unaffected by either. Truth is truth and it doesn't change because your feelings or circumstances do. Focus less on your feelings.

It sounds as though you've neglected self care. Becoming a spiritual person isn't about locking yourself away and reading the bible all day. God created an entire universe. Why not enjoy it? Get some exercise and get out of the office and house and give your mind a break. Even Jesus himself knew he had to get away and take time for himself. God created a 7th day for people to take time away from their pressures.

Learn to enjoy what you have rather than relentlessly striving for what you wish you had. You have murdered the joy of your salvation by turning it into a machine where you, alone, are the sole worker.

Your focus is on sin, not God. Your focus is on works, not God.

You're describing a person who has taken the burden of their sins upon themselves to personally beat by their own will.
But, really, all these things you're destroying yourself with are because of this. The things you're striving so hard to force to happen aren't out of God's will, but yours. These changes should be a result of the fruits of the Spirit which happen as your grow spiritually.
You've stopped growing spiritually because you've left God out of the picture and began doing works by your own power.
That's not to say you shouldn't still work at overcoming sin, but the purpose here, first and foremost, should be God, not sin.

Have you ever been diagnosed with any mental illness? Your behavior reminds me of Christians I've seen that had OCD. Focusing on sin and works, fear of losing salvation or having not been saved, taking negative views of things. It all sounds very similar.

Ultimately stop trying to be God and instead get to know God. And that can happen through exercise, talking to other people, music or a number of other things. Set your time aside for bible, but utilize the rest of the time to the other things God intended us to enjoy.

It was kind of you to assemble those citations for me. Thanks.

I've struggled with the doubts

I’m literally going through exactly all of what you said!

That's heartbreaking and it makes me wonder...
...if he had purposed to spare me and hide me in Christ, then he will do it regardless of my concerns. And if not, well ... woe is me.

IF "doubts, fears, and terrors, and woe" are infirmities, Then Perchance This may be helpful:
GRACE Word For infirmities!

Precious friend(s), Please Be Very Richly Blessed/Encouraged!!

the Holy Spirit came into my life. For the first 2 weeks, I was just IN LOVE with God.

There were times of great peace, when I truly felt like everything made sense, Christ died for my sins,etc. I confessed my sins and the guilt started going away, though I don't know if I have saving faith. I was starting to walk in grace a bit, when I realized I made a mistake, I'd confess it.

I finished the email and repented, but everything felt HORRIBLE. Like the Holy Spirit had left me. I feel hard. For a few days, I felt extremely empty, but now I feel sort of normal. I've struggled I feel very convinced that I'm hell bound.

And when I say I felt it I mean ... I felt it! with my nose! A sweet smell, something similar to flowers and myrrh (the comparison is approximate because the smell is unidentifiable). This perfume is not from this world. Is subtle, yet, you can feel it. The whole place was filled with this smell (the Holy Liturgy was held outside of the church due to Covid restrictions).

my original comment was past tense and was designed to encourage, not be a target for correction.

Also, I consider a fault and lack of faith that "I am normal again". I am seeing and thinking like the world, when I should see and think like God. Especially if I believe I have experienced God.

But that's the problem: Jesus Christ is not hegemonic, He does not want to dominate you. He wants you to follow Him freely which is why He always leaves room for DOUBT.
"Is it possible that you imagined the smell?" asked my unbelieving husband. I know I didn't imagine, yet, I feel I don't believe strongly enough, like I should.

I need to become again enthusiastic with Jesus Christ and the Church (that's how you get back on track).

In fact, the latest studies have confirmed that schizophrenia is an autoimmune disease.

The sealing of the Holy Spirit and all of the other promises are dependent upon faith. For we are saved by grace through faith. If a believer wanders away from that and goes back to willfully living according to the sinful nature, in that state they are accumulating sin and are on their way to death.

Does this mean there is a cure for it?

I assume you believe this said believer can also return? Just like them israelites went to worship ba'al and God asked them to come back

NOW how does that jive with Hebrews 6:4-6?

Hebrews 6:4 is a very controversial scripture. First off, this is in reference to complete apostates, i.e. those who believed and have completely turned away from Christ. That true believers are being spoken of is obvious from the following:

"It is impossible for those who have once been enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, who have shared in the Holy Spirit"

One does not share in the Holy Spirit unless one is a believer. This hypothetical condition is not referring to unbelievers.

In addition, this scripture IS NOT speaking about those in Christ who sin due to our weaknesses, but is speaking about complete apostates.

The impossibility of being restored to repentance, is not because God won't forgive them, but because they themselves have turned against Christ and remain there. For we have other scriptures that state that those who have fallen or wandered away, can receive forgiveness, such as the following:

"Therefore I tell you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven men, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven."

"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

The state of apostacy and his inability to repent is on the part of the believer, not on God. Here is another example of those who hypothetically have turned away from Christ and their ability to return:

"My brothers, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring him back, consider this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save his soul from death and cover over a multitude of sins."

The believer in the hypothetical state above, if they should wander away (not having faith), while in that state they are accumulating sin and are on their way to death. But if someone brings them back, then their sins are covered and they are saved from the results of their faithless state, which is death.

So to recap, I don't believe that the scripture is saying that if a person turns away from faith, that they can't repent and return to Christ because God won't forgive them. But rather that, it is because of the persons state of apostacy, i.e. their againstness of Christ, that it is impossible for them to return.

Do I believe that one can lose their salvation? Yes, I do. Otherwise all of the warnings in scripture would be unnecessary and empty. If a person turns from Christ and willfully goes back to living according to the sinful nature and dies in that state, never turning back, then while in that state they are accumulating sin and are on their way to condemnation. We are saved by grace through faith. If a believer turns from their faith and remains there, then they have unplugged from God's grace.

Does this mean there is a cure for it?

To add, my life for those 4 months has been work and bible. It's all I did. I was advised to go on walks, which I very rarely did. I have also lost a great deal of sleep, and have tried Advil PM and anther pill, but they didn't help much. I don't have near the zeal for God I did. My mind is changing a bit as well.