Singleness: Blessing or curse?

I'm feeling like a black sheep

Spend some time reading posts on the site... you'll soon realize that a good number of people come here because they feel the exact same way, for a variety of reasons -- and you won't feel like you stand out so much.

Yeah I think I just need to get used to talking in a way that we never had in our church because of the way folks are so traditional and I guess

Me too.

I guess I will just take it slow and see if there are people who can help with the healing

Blessing. No emotional roller coasters and arguments.

I have set boundaries for my self for staying pure with my future husband while we are dating no kissing no touching of any kinds no hugging because it will think about making love. I will wear dress that show my body and wear modestly dress it probably make us feel like we are having a sleepover together it’s no no. We will make sure that we don’t have many adult drinks where we get dunk and have fun with each other for the rest of the night wake up in the same bed. I know that we set up walls and pray together that we will not mess up our vows to stay pure until marriage but if we break one rule we broke them all and we apologize to our father for broken vows that we made in the beginning of our relationship.

It's a little extreme to put being single as a curse.

The Bible says that there is no curse against Israel. So, God does not give us anything that is bad in life. (Numbers 23:23)

Throughout the years of human history, some are blessed by God to find a good life partner. While others are not.

Singles are free from duty and commitment. Marriage is God's plan for us. If God intends it for a particular Christian, He blesses him or her with a spouse and children.

A family is a miniature representation of the Church.

But marriage is God's call. We think it's our decision, but it is not. That's why single Christians have to pray for God's plan to be revealed in their lives. If we're to get married, we have to keep that desire in prayer.

If we are to remain single, we have to pray and ask God to show us our purpose here in this life and help fulfill our mission on earth.

Some singles would already know what their call is and would be working towards achieving it.

In both these cases, it is necessary to be patient and wait for God to work in our life. But we also must put in the work necessary for what we want to achieve in our life.

If God has a special person in our life, that person would already be born and God will bring that person in our life at the right time.

Keep everything in prayer. That's all we can do.

Being single is not easy just as being married isn't going to be easy. Life is not easy. But a life lived with God by our side will see us through most of the troubles in our life.

I take it you missed the last several chapters of Deuteronomy where God pretty specifically lists the curses and bad things that will happen to Israel if they fail to keep the covenant. (Duet 27 and following)

I think if you were married before and you spouse dies so that you are single again it could seem like a curse to you. Or if you spouse was unfaithful and you got divorced.

But then those people had gotten used to being married. However I think the latter we ought to have compassion on and the first one God has said good religion looks after widows and orphans so, I think in many ways they can be blessed too.

also if your first marriage was abusive and you left it without finding someone else to marry, it could be a blessing in disguise.

for those in that situation, they had been married before and now they find themselves single and vulnerable and seemingly alone, know that God holds you close. If you have children look to them as blessings not burdens.

For those who have been left by someone unfaithful, you are MUCH better of without them rather than be married and living a lie. Embrace your freedom.

Hi Everyone,

I'm new here and happy to be in the discussion👋🏽🌻.

I've realized that the curse is loneliness not singleness, and you can be lonely and married. When we turn our focus to Jesus everything including loneliness disappears in the light of His love. I see loneliness as my cross to bear in this season, but will let you know that it is heavy however God is able to provide strength for the journey by His grace. Blessings🙏🏽💕.

👍🏽

I don't understand what you mean. I thought I was just giving my thoughts to the question asked by the person who started this thread. It was a simple answer to a simple question. I'd like to keep it that way.

If maybe you know something more than me, you're welcome to share here as well. No one has got all the answers you know.

You said the Bible says there's no curse against Israel, I just pointed you to a set of several chapters in the Bible that details curses against Israel that go into effect if they fail to obey God. Demonstrating that your statement was just flat out inconsistent with what's in the Bible.

Contextually speaking, I was giving my thoughts about being single. I believe that God wants us to live a full blessed life. My reference to the Bible in this situation is not inaccurate. I quoted that there is no curse that can prevail against Israel. Meaning that no one on earth can curse God's people and that they are protected against any and all curses from other human beings in this world. (Read the passage where Balaam was called upon to curse Israel by a king who wanted to curse God's people)

I don't want to go too deep about the curses given in the Pentateuch/Torah for breaking God's law as that is off topic to what I'm conversing in this thread. I think this should clear your perception about what I'm talking about.

It's not really off topic if you're using that same Pentateuch to support your argument, but let's leave that as parts of the argument were poorly constucted and I was a little quick to charge in correctively on a minor point in the argument. I'll agree that singleness shouldn't be considered a curse (everyone starts their lives as a single). And the whole if God doesn't give us anything bad then where do the bad things come from ( and why doesn't he stop them from happening) and the question of god's activity vs ours in the finding a spouse realm are broad enough we would totally derail the thread to even attempt to do them justice here.

some people read the entire Bible and some only look at the Old Testament, where israel is concerned. So there may be some misunderstanding there.
God didnt command everyone to marry, His 'go forth and multiply' didnt necessarily mean everyone had to find spouses.

there was also a curse given to Canaan when Ham did look at his parents having intercourse, though the curse was not to either marry or to be single, but that he and his descendants would be servants or slaves of his brothers descendants.

In bad abusive marriages, it does end up that many wives become virtual slaves of their husbands...sometimes the other way round, but actually that was a curse stemming from adam and eves disobedience. The husband was to 'rule over' the wife. Eve would also have difficulty, pain and sorrow in bearing children. Adam was forced to work for a living and toil on hard ground.

so even though they were married, it was not bliss! Why people have this idea that marriage is easy and solves all problems, I have no idea.

Its better to have friends!

I see it as a blessing. I now consider God my life partner however as a woman not married to a human male I see it as a blessing. I’ve realized that I love my freedom and to not feel like I need to impress any guy by wearing makeup or wearing certain clothes, my time is my own time which I love!

I think a lot of people have been conditioned to believe you have to marry as part of life, that is just something everyone does but actually we have a choice to say YES or NO, and if you say NO people seem to be aghast that you would actually say no to being married and CHOOSE to be single.

Being single requires just as much faith, maybe even MORE than marriage does!

For a start, being single means you are placing all your trust in God, while being married means placing your trust in your spouse, knowing that, because they are human, they will let you down or disappooint you at some stage!

But if you place your trust in God, who is not a man that he can lie, well, its actually the smarter choice. IMHO.