My marriage story

When we were first married, we fought a lot. I grew up in a quite family where my mom and dad didn't really talk much. My husband's family was very talkative and open about disagreements. He and I would talk about something for a long time. I don't remember how long, maybe an hour or two. It would seem like weren't going to agree, we had both said everything we had to say, and were just repeating ourselves. I'd say, let's stop, we're not going to agree, it's not anything important taht we need to resolve. He would keep arguing, so I'd go to another room, just try to ignore him. He'd follow me,so I'd go somewhere else, maybe lock the door. He'd stand outside arguing with me. This was on our honeymoon, but happend many many times during our marriage. Sometimes I feltl ike I would go crazy. I just couldn't take it.

Sometmies he'd accuse me of not bieng a christian, saying I didn't love God, because I disagreed over what a Bible verse meant or about some doctrine. It hurt me so much, for my husband to tell me I wasn't a Christian or say I didn't love God. How can he know whether I love God or not? I know I love God, but I stopped caring what he thought. maybe he can think what he wants. I'm not going to argue with him. If he can't see that I love God from how I talk normally and act, then nothing I say can prove it to him.

I tried to talk to him about it, how I felt during our arguments. But it was always my fault. He'd follow and argue with me until I wanted to scream. If I screamed, then it was my fault because I was the terrible one, the one who had yelled the loudest. I tried to tell him how he was bothering me, but he'd never admit that what he did was wrong. I can admit when I'm wrong, but he has trouble with that. I became tired of saying I'm sorry, because then it was my fault, and that was it. I don't want to admit fault if the other person never allows that he might have something wrong.

I tried to be happy with him for a long time. I acted nice, and did things together, and went along with his hobbies. I didn't show how frustrated I was, but all the time, I felt awkward being with him. I realized that I didn't like being with him at all, it was just annoying and awkward. I was happy once in a while, but not overall. Maybe for the past few years I was like this.

I finally told him how I felt, that I wasn't happy with him and wanted some time apart. Maybe we can be separated for a while. I feel like I'm going to go crazy if I go here. Maybe I'm being a bit unforgiving, but it's just so difficult. He said that I was happy with him, and I was just having a bad mood that started a few weeks ago. I tried to explain that I've felt like this for a long time, but he didn't believe me. He kept telling me about times when I was supposedly happy with him, but I was just acting nice, trying to be positive, to see whether I could improve our relationship. When I told him that I was just trying, that I really wasn't always happy like he thought, he said that I was lying to myself. Then he said that demons were tricking me and lying to me about my past.

I don't know what to say or do about that. It's always been like this -- if I talk to him, it's like talking to a wall. He listens to me only so he can find a fault or crack in what I'm saying. He doesn't try to understand, just listen long enough to find a way to disprove what I'm saying, and then he'll interrupt me and contradict me right out. I'm so tired of this. I don't even want to talk to him any more. I'm a Christian and I love God, but I feel like if I stay here, stay in this relationship, I'm going to go crazy. I don't know if I can do this for the rest of my life.

When we were first married, we fought a lot. I grew up in a quite family where my mom and dad didn't really talk much. My husband's family was very talkative and open about disagreements. He and I would talk about something for a long time. I don't remember how long, maybe an hour or two. It would seem like weren't going to agree, we had both said everything we had to say, and were just repeating ourselves. I'd say, let's stop, we're not going to agree, it's not anything important taht we need to resolve. He would keep arguing, so I'd go to another room, just try to ignore him. He'd follow me,so I'd go somewhere else, maybe lock the door. He'd stand outside arguing with me. This was on our honeymoon, but happend many many times during our marriage. Sometimes I feltl ike I would go crazy. I just couldn't take it.

Sometmies he'd accuse me of not bieng a christian, saying I didn't love God, because I disagreed over what a Bible verse meant or about some doctrine. It hurt me so much, for my husband to tell me I wasn't a Christian or say I didn't love God. How can he know whether I love God or not? I know I love God, but I stopped caring what he thought. maybe he can think what he wants. I'm not going to argue with him. If he can't see that I love God from how I talk normally and act, then nothing I say can prove it to him.

I tried to talk to him about it, how I felt during our arguments. But it was always my fault. He'd follow and argue with me until I wanted to scream. If I screamed, then it was my fault because I was the terrible one, the one who had yelled the loudest. I tried to tell him how he was bothering me, but he'd never admit that what he did was wrong. I can admit when I'm wrong, but he has trouble with that. I became tired of saying I'm sorry, because then it was my fault, and that was it. I don't want to admit fault if the other person never allows that he might have something wrong.

I tried to be happy with him for a long time. I acted nice, and did things together, and went along with his hobbies. I didn't show how frustrated I was, but all the time, I felt awkward being with him. I realized that I didn't like being with him at all, it was just annoying and awkward. I was happy once in a while, but not overall. Maybe for the past few years I was like this.

I finally told him how I felt, that I wasn't happy with him and wanted some time apart. Maybe we can be separated for a while. I feel like I'm going to go crazy if I go here. Maybe I'm being a bit unforgiving, but it's just so difficult. He said that I was happy with him, and I was just having a bad mood that started a few weeks ago. I tried to explain that I've felt like this for a long time, but he didn't believe me. He kept telling me about times when I was supposedly happy with him, but I was just acting nice, trying to be positive, to see whether I could improve our relationship. When I told him that I was just trying, that I really wasn't always happy like he thought, he said that I was lying to myself. Then he said that demons were tricking me and lying to me about my past.

I don't know what to say or do about that. It's always been like this -- if I talk to him, it's like talking to a wall. He listens to me only so he can find a fault or crack in what I'm saying. He doesn't try to understand, just listen long enough to find a way to disprove what I'm saying, and then he'll interrupt me and contradict me right out. I'm so tired of this. I don't even want to talk to him any more. I'm a Christian and I love God, but I feel like if I stay here, stay in this relationship, I'm going to go crazy. I don't know if I can do this for the rest of my life.

I tried to be happy with him for a long time.

I finally told him how I felt, that I wasn't happy with him and wanted some time apart. Maybe we can be separated for a while. I feel like I'm going to go crazy if I go here. Maybe I'm being a bit unforgiving, but it's just so difficult. He said that I was happy with him, and I was just having a bad mood that started a few weeks ago.

You need to forgive your husband. And that is every time he says or does something to hurt you. When you forgive, God will intervene on your behalf. When we do not forgive, we put ourselves in a spiritual prison. Hard? No. Impossible - for us, that is. But there is a way. It works as I know from personal experience. For your own sake, read the article. It could transform your life. No, I did not write it. My late friend and mentor wrote it and many have been blessed.

https://www.christianlife.org.au/can-you-forgive-from-your-heart

I don't know what to say or do about that. It's always been like this -- if I talk to him, it's like talking to a wall. He listens to me only so he can find a fault or crack in what I'm saying. He doesn't try to understand, just listen long enough to find a way to disprove what I'm saying, and then he'll interrupt me and contradict me right out. I'm so tired of this. I don't even want to talk to him any more. I'm a Christian and I love God, but I feel like if I stay here, stay in this relationship, I'm going to go crazy. I don't know if I can do this for the rest of my life.

When we were first married, we fought a lot. I grew up in a quite family where my mom and dad didn't really talk much. My husband's family was very talkative and open about disagreements. He and I would talk about something for a long time. I don't remember how long, maybe an hour or two. It would seem like weren't going to agree, we had both said everything we had to say, and were just repeating ourselves. I'd say, let's stop, we're not going to agree, it's not anything important taht we need to resolve. He would keep arguing, so I'd go to another room, just try to ignore him. He'd follow me,so I'd go somewhere else, maybe lock the door. He'd stand outside arguing with me. This was on our honeymoon, but happend many many times during our marriage. Sometimes I feltl ike I would go crazy. I just couldn't take it.

Sometmies he'd accuse me of not bieng a christian, saying I didn't love God, because I disagreed over what a Bible verse meant or about some doctrine. It hurt me so much, for my husband to tell me I wasn't a Christian or say I didn't love God. How can he know whether I love God or not? I know I love God, but I stopped caring what he thought. maybe he can think what he wants. I'm not going to argue with him. If he can't see that I love God from how I talk normally and act, then nothing I say can prove it to him.

I tried to talk to him about it, how I felt during our arguments. But it was always my fault. He'd follow and argue with me until I wanted to scream. If I screamed, then it was my fault because I was the terrible one, the one who had yelled the loudest. I tried to tell him how he was bothering me, but he'd never admit that what he did was wrong. I can admit when I'm wrong, but he has trouble with that. I became tired of saying I'm sorry, because then it was my fault, and that was it. I don't want to admit fault if the other person never allows that he might have something wrong.

I tried to be happy with him for a long time. I acted nice, and did things together, and went along with his hobbies. I didn't show how frustrated I was, but all the time, I felt awkward being with him. I realized that I didn't like being with him at all, it was just annoying and awkward. I was happy once in a while, but not overall. Maybe for the past few years I was like this.

I finally told him how I felt, that I wasn't happy with him and wanted some time apart. Maybe we can be separated for a while. I feel like I'm going to go crazy if I go here. Maybe I'm being a bit unforgiving, but it's just so difficult. He said that I was happy with him, and I was just having a bad mood that started a few weeks ago. I tried to explain that I've felt like this for a long time, but he didn't believe me. He kept telling me about times when I was supposedly happy with him, but I was just acting nice, trying to be positive, to see whether I could improve our relationship. When I told him that I was just trying, that I really wasn't always happy like he thought, he said that I was lying to myself. Then he said that demons were tricking me and lying to me about my past.

I don't know what to say or do about that. It's always been like this -- if I talk to him, it's like talking to a wall. He listens to me only so he can find a fault or crack in what I'm saying. He doesn't try to understand, just listen long enough to find a way to disprove what I'm saying, and then he'll interrupt me and contradict me right out. I'm so tired of this. I don't even want to talk to him any more. I'm a Christian and I love God, but I feel like if I stay here, stay in this relationship, I'm going to go crazy. I don't know if I can do this for the rest of my life.

When we were first married, we fought a lot. I grew up in a quite family where my mom and dad didn't really talk much. My husband's family was very talkative and open about disagreements. He and I would talk about something for a long time. I don't remember how long, maybe an hour or two. It would seem like weren't going to agree, we had both said everything we had to say, and were just repeating ourselves. I'd say, let's stop, we're not going to agree, it's not anything important taht we need to resolve. He would keep arguing, so I'd go to another room, just try to ignore him. He'd follow me,so I'd go somewhere else, maybe lock the door. He'd stand outside arguing with me. This was on our honeymoon, but happend many many times during our marriage. Sometimes I feltl ike I would go crazy. I just couldn't take it.

Sometmies he'd accuse me of not bieng a christian, saying I didn't love God, because I disagreed over what a Bible verse meant or about some doctrine. It hurt me so much, for my husband to tell me I wasn't a Christian or say I didn't love God. How can he know whether I love God or not? I know I love God, but I stopped caring what he thought. maybe he can think what he wants. I'm not going to argue with him. If he can't see that I love God from how I talk normally and act, then nothing I say can prove it to him.

I tried to talk to him about it, how I felt during our arguments. But it was always my fault. He'd follow and argue with me until I wanted to scream. If I screamed, then it was my fault because I was the terrible one, the one who had yelled the loudest. I tried to tell him how he was bothering me, but he'd never admit that what he did was wrong. I can admit when I'm wrong, but he has trouble with that. I became tired of saying I'm sorry, because then it was my fault, and that was it. I don't want to admit fault if the other person never allows that he might have something wrong.

I tried to be happy with him for a long time. I acted nice, and did things together, and went along with his hobbies. I didn't show how frustrated I was, but all the time, I felt awkward being with him. I realized that I didn't like being with him at all, it was just annoying and awkward. I was happy once in a while, but not overall. Maybe for the past few years I was like this.

I finally told him how I felt, that I wasn't happy with him and wanted some time apart. Maybe we can be separated for a while. I feel like I'm going to go crazy if I go here. Maybe I'm being a bit unforgiving, but it's just so difficult. He said that I was happy with him, and I was just having a bad mood that started a few weeks ago. I tried to explain that I've felt like this for a long time, but he didn't believe me. He kept telling me about times when I was supposedly happy with him, but I was just acting nice, trying to be positive, to see whether I could improve our relationship. When I told him that I was just trying, that I really wasn't always happy like he thought, he said that I was lying to myself. Then he said that demons were tricking me and lying to me about my past.

I don't know what to say or do about that. It's always been like this -- if I talk to him, it's like talking to a wall. He listens to me only so he can find a fault or crack in what I'm saying. He doesn't try to understand, just listen long enough to find a way to disprove what I'm saying, and then he'll interrupt me and contradict me right out. I'm so tired of this. I don't even want to talk to him any more. I'm a Christian and I love God, but I feel like if I stay here, stay in this relationship, I'm going to go crazy. I don't know if I can do this for the rest of my life.

Beloved, I’m sorry to hear of your troubles in your marriage. That sounds very frustrating. I can understand how alone you must feel. I don’t have any advice. I’m not a person to give advice because I am divorced myself. I will tell you this, life is very short and your peace must be protected above all things. My mother currently has four months left to live apparently, according to the doctors, and I witnessed firsthand when I lived with my parents To support early in her diagnosis,how terrible my dad really is towards her. He was very good at masking it to the outside world but when I was young I knew something was wrong. He is what is known as the covert narcissist. Anyway According to the doctor my mom is at the end of her life, and it’s unfortunate that she wasted a lot of years on a terrible relationship. It broke not only my heart but hers to see her in a weakened state, due to cancer, when she had been so strong before. And the way he treated her was some thing I can never forget. I’ve had to forgive for my own benefit. But I will never forget. Take what you want from that story. I hope God blesses you with what you need so that you can have peace in your heart. ❤️

You have dissimilar beliefs, and aren't actually interested in what he does? I didn't know arranged marriages were still a thing .

I feel like it's important to hash out biblical beliefs with somebody before you get married. Are you sure that the things you are disagreeing on really aren't important? Because it sounds like it might be important to him... and if he thinks it's important, the LAST THING you should do is act like it's not important. Even if you don't agree on the issue right away, you should be like "yeah, i don't know, but lets look into this more soon". If you don't understand why something is important, then ask and discuss. If your husband thinks it's important that the two of you agree on something, then let him know that you'd like to come to an agreement as well. Even if he is wrong on the issue itself, if he thinks the issue is important, then it is.

At work, my boss' concerns are my concerns. Her priorities are my priorities. I believe there is a blessing that comes with this kind of submission. That doesn't mean I don't ever disagree, or even change her mind on things, but I never write her off. Even if what I think she is saying is dumb.

If you did a lot of "acting happy" and "going along with" stuff, that probably didn't help matters. It's going to be hard for him to realize you really were not happy. Consider that. Saying you want to separate is going to be perceived as you trying to abandon ship instead of saving it.

I think it's totally possible to have a difficult marriage, fall out of love with a spouse, and still not have a good Biblical reason to get a divorce. When that happens it can feel like you're trapped and without a clear route to escape what can only be described as chaos.

In my opinion, you both need a perspective change on what your marriage actually is. Ask yourselves the hard questions: do I still love this man? Can I see myself with this person for another year or a month? If the answer is no then changing your perspective on what the marriage is could help.

You have dissimilar beliefs, and aren't actually interested in what he does? I didn't know arranged marriages were still a thing .

I feel like it's important to hash out biblical beliefs with somebody before you get married. Are you sure that the things you are disagreeing on really aren't important? Because it sounds like it might be important to him... and if he thinks it's important, the LAST THING you should do is act like it's not important.

OK I know you're joking a bit but we talked to his pastor before we married. We're both Christians. We're not from that different denominations (I almost spelling demoninations ha). We don't disagree anything in the Nicene creed.

I tried to take part with him in his hobbies, talk to him about what hew as interested in. I mean recently. I just felt awkward being with him. I don't think it was really his hobbies themselves that I found boring or uninteresting, just how I felt about being with him to see whther I could improve our relationship or like him better by trying to do things he liked with him.