How many of you are open to having new Christian friendships?

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JohnDB

JohnDB

Well-known member
#41
Jan 16, 2021
6,219
2,523
113
#41
TLC209 said:
Theres a family forum.. I'm sure if anyone wants advice from married people that would be the place to look. It comes off as creepy to see married men in a singles forum.

Since when are women ok with their husband interacting with single women in a singles forum? If you have an open relationship congratulations. But generally speaking the optics of this just doesn't look good. I understood your answer but it just isn't one that seems reasonable. But that's between you and your wife. Assuming she's aware.
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Yes...she is aware...
You singles are a topic of conversation in our house.
(Including this post I've quoted).

I'll explain how you view me as creepy and want to discount everything I say but have yet to figure out how to become married at the same time.

It's not like it's the first time that I've run across singles who are easily offended but terminally single at the same time.
And how they miss the major elephant in the room while focusing on the minor things...it's kinda to be expected anymore.

Just saying...
 
1ofthem

1ofthem

Senior Member
#42
Mar 30, 2016
3,729
1,921
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#42
Even a thread about who wants to make friends turns into a debate :rolleyes:

Why am I not surprised?
 
JohnDB

JohnDB

Well-known member
#43
Jan 16, 2021
6,219
2,523
113
#43
1ofthem said:
Even a thread about who wants to make friends turns into a debate :rolleyes:

Why am I not surprised?
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I'm thinking that someone didn't get that wienie whistle they have been asking Santa for.

Sure the end of Christmas is depressing for many...my license for being excessively giving is over. But I can begin planning for next year.

The fun in Christmas is in the getting ready for Christmas and not the day itself...so many people simply don't want to understand that part.

Oh well...
 
1ofthem

1ofthem

Senior Member
#44
Mar 30, 2016
3,729
1,921
113
#44
JohnDB said:
I'm thinking that someone didn't get that wienie whistle they have been asking Santa for.

Sure the end of Christmas is depressing for many...my license for being excessively giving is over. But I can begin planning for next year.

The fun in Christmas is in the getting ready for Christmas and not the day itself...so many people simply don't want to understand that part.

Oh well...
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I guess, it's a missing the forest for the trees type thing.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#45
Aug 13, 2014
27,364
9,376
113
#45
Doggone entertaining though, for a while. :sneaky:
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#46
Aug 13, 2014
27,364
9,376
113
#46
TLC209 said:
Theres a family forum.. I'm sure if anyone wants advice from married people that would be the place to look. It comes off as creepy to see married men in a singles forum.

Since when are women ok with their husband interacting with single women in a singles forum? If you have an open relationship congratulations. But generally speaking the optics of this just doesn't look good. I understood your answer but it just isn't one that seems reasonable. But that's between you and your wife. Assuming she's aware.
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All I know to tell you is, if you have a problem with the way the forum is run... take it up with the owner. RoboOp owns the site. Or take it up with a moderator, as they help him keep an eye on things.

Right now you are arguing with people who can't even control the thing you're arguing about. Even if we thought this matter was a problem, what could we do about it? Run around yelling at everybody to shun all the married people? Yeah, that works well...

This forum is private property. If something happens at a restaurant, you don't talk to one of the other customers about it. You talk to the manager. So, take it up with a manager.

(Sorry moderators for redirecting this at you, but there's really nothing we can do here.)
 
cinder

cinder

Senior Member
#48
Mar 26, 2014
4,433
2,418
113
#48
TLC209 said:
If their wives are aware they chat in a singles forum I would guess that's ok. If there wives aren't on this site then it's just common sense, you shouldn't be on a single forum.
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There's a big difference between a forum to discuss single life and a dating site and there's a big difference between talking in a public discussion forum and talking in private message. And that's probably why no one has a bit problem with married people posting in singles. It's public, there have been a few CC relationships but not many (an not all successful) but that's not the main reason people are here so there's not a lot of reason to restrict our discussions to just singles. And in some of our more speculative discussions about marriage and married life; it is nice to have people with actual real life experience to give us a reality check.

We can all agree that married men (especially married Christian men) shouldn't be looking for a girlfriend (or boyfriend for that matter) on the side (same goes for married women). But we can't see why we should refuse to let people join in the discussion just because they aren't potential marriage partners for someone.
 
TLC209

TLC209

Active member
#50
Mar 20, 2019
553
182
43
42
Merced, CA
#50
cinder said:
There's a big difference between a forum to discuss single life and a dating site and there's a big difference between talking in a public discussion forum and talking in private message. And that's probably why no one has a bit problem with married people posting in singles. It's public, there have been a few CC relationships but not many (an not all successful) but that's not the main reason people are here so there's not a lot of reason to restrict our discussions to just singles. And in some of our more speculative discussions about marriage and married life; it is nice to have people with actual real life experience to give us a reality check.

We can all agree that married men (especially married Christian men) shouldn't be looking for a girlfriend (or boyfriend for that matter) on the side (same goes for married women). But we can't see why we should refuse to let people join in the discussion just because they aren't potential marriage partners for someone.
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You make good points. The gentlemen got defensive to my posts. They shouldn't be so easily offended..

The forum is for singles. So the topics such as this post is about making friends. I was assuming everyone was single. I can identify with situations in life that another single person may also be experiencing. Marriage is a different perspective.

Like the comment "my wife is my best friend". Thats good to know but this is a singles forum, why is it making it's way on this forum. No one is bashing at being married but there's a space for that.. There's a family forum for married people. This singles space should be respected and given its own space as it is listed.

The moderators aren't parents. People should know if they're single or not. There's no need for a moderator to get involved in this because no one here has done anything wrong.

It's not like these men went into a women's bathroom because Joe Biden said that was ok. Common sense would tell you otherwise. Same goes here. Moderators saying married people are allowed in a singles forum doesn't make it ok. Common sense. You aren't single.

But on that note cc isn't much of a friendly vibe. Seing how negative people get to minor observations I can only imagine the harder stuff that no one wants to address.... I'll take my "weenie whistle" on my way out. 😂 Good luck y'all and happy new years. ✌️
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#51
Aug 13, 2014
27,364
9,376
113
#51
TLC209 said:
You make good points. The gentlemen got defensive to my posts. They shouldn't be so easily offended..
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Not so much defensive as affronted by your arrogance.

We've been minding our own business, having a good time here for years. Suddenly you blaze in and start roundly upbraiding us. Who in the frosty void do you think you are?
 
cinder

cinder

Senior Member
#52
Mar 26, 2014
4,433
2,418
113
#52
TLC209 said:
The gentlemen got defensive to my posts. They shouldn't be so easily offended..

Seing how negative people get to minor observations I can only imagine the harder stuff that no one wants to address....
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When I was a kid there was a saying about the pot calling the kettle black. I completely agree you shouldn't be so easily offended or quick to get negative during a conversation. Now that you know how our little singles forum corner of the internet is typically used, you should be able to make a decision about whether it's your kind of place or not.
 
1ofthem

1ofthem

Senior Member
#53
Mar 30, 2016
3,729
1,921
113
#53
TLC209 said:
You make good points. The gentlemen got defensive to my posts. They shouldn't be so easily offended..

The forum is for singles. So the topics such as this post is about making friends. I was assuming everyone was single. I can identify with situations in life that another single person may also be experiencing. Marriage is a different perspective.

Like the comment "my wife is my best friend". Thats good to know but this is a singles forum, why is it making it's way on this forum. No one is bashing at being married but there's a space for that.. There's a family forum for married people. This singles space should be respected and given its own space as it is listed.

The moderators aren't parents. People should know if they're single or not. There's no need for a moderator to get involved in this because no one here has done anything wrong.

It's not like these men went into a women's bathroom because Joe Biden said that was ok. Common sense would tell you otherwise. Same goes here. Moderators saying married people are allowed in a singles forum doesn't make it ok. Common sense. You aren't single.

But on that note cc isn't much of a friendly vibe. Seing how negative people get to minor observations I can only imagine the harder stuff that no one wants to address.... I'll take my "weenie whistle" on my way out. 😂 Good luck y'all and happy new years. ✌️
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First off, I'm a woman and I'm single. So believe me I have known and met a lot of creepers.

It's not usually the ones that are upfront and say they are married that are the problem. I know it does happen.... but just think about it for a minute....

This forum is not a place to try and get dates or anything like that. It's just a bunch of people sharing ideas and chit-chatting from what I've seen anyways.

As long as their husbands/wives are ok with them chatting openly on a forum, I don't see any problem with it.

The ones you need to be worried about are the sneaky folks and creepers.

You know...the ones pretending to be single. Seeing this is the internet then no real way to confirm who is single or not. So it's usually a plus that someone cares enough about their husband/wife to let others know they are married. Just saying.....:)
 
TamLynn

TamLynn

A heart at rest
#54
Nov 27, 2014
985
1,019
93
#54
I'm single and I visit the family forum now and then. 🤷‍♀️
I was married, have a child, and life experience that enables me to relate to (and hopefully encourage) the members that post there.
The married folk have done the same for many of us singles.
I'd also like to mention that for the most part, the married members rarely talk about anything inappropriate or sketchy and are always upfront about their spouses.
In fact, the majority of them comment about how amazing their spouses are and how thankful they are for them.
I think because (as many have mentioned) it's always stated very frankly that this isn't a dating site, I've never even considered that fact that married people contribute.
Happy New Year to you also! 🙏🏻🥳🎉
 
Oncefallen

Oncefallen

Idiot in Chief
Staff member
#55
Jan 15, 2011
6,065
3,414
113
#55
Just to put the derail to rest, Christian Chat has NEVER restricted the use of any of the sub-forums to users that specifically fit that group. The only time that the subject has ever been considered was years ago when we had a few younger persons (younger teens) that were regularly posting in Singles.

We have only one sub-forum that is restricted to specific users and that one only appears on the main page to the users that fit into that group.

Our stance is that adults can bring much wisdom and insight to topics within the teen forum, every married person has at one time been single thus can bring good advice to current singles, etc.

In reality, if we were to have a specific rule against married persons posting in Singles all someone would have to do to bypass it would be to create a profile listing themselves as single (it's not as if there is a way to verify profile information).

Ultimately, if a married person were to in some way make inappropriate posts they would be booted out the door just as quickly as a single making inappropriate posts.
 
Mel85

Mel85

Daughter of the True King
#56
Mar 28, 2018
10,910
6,897
113
#56
In the real world, do you not have friends who are married? Same applies here bro… @TLC209
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#57
Aug 13, 2014
27,364
9,376
113
#57
Oncefallen said:
Ultimately, if a married person were to in some way make inappropriate posts they would be booted out the door just as quickly as a single making inappropriate posts.
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Oooooh, now THERE'S a theory I could put to the test...

Nah, not worth it. Besides, we all know I'm not very good at making inappropriate posts. :sneaky::whistle:
 
Pureness

Pureness

Banned
#58
Oct 10, 2021
348
165
43
#58
I prefer positive friends that does good things. I don't want a undercover friend who is really a bad person. I don't want a friend like that.
 
DeeGee

DeeGee

Active member
#59
Dec 31, 2021
193
109
43
#59
I like making friends. However, it requires overlooking a lot of flaws, since those friendships are with people. :) I'm naturally somewhat hermitlike, but I think God prefers that I interact and fellowship with others more than I probably would without His direction. True friendships are hard to come by (for me), yet they are worth the effort.
 
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