Blain's Testimony

I would love if my family could be like you, I have enough issues seeing any good in me as it is and I certainly don't think myself a strong person but my family thinks I am weak and need protection they always cage me in restrictions that I have already shown I can overcome my own mom came home drunk one night and said I was the weakest person she knows

But deep down I know how they wrong they are they have never understood me and don't see me as I really am they just see my brain damage and disability and because I am a tender soul and wear my feelings on my sleeve they think I am weak unintelligent incapable and doesn't know anything.
Needless to say I live in a unhealthy environment but that also is why my room is my sanctuary with God as well as cc

I thanked God yesterday after reading your beautiful script to @Magenta ...
I do not think you truly understand what a beautiful gift God has blessed you with concerning your writings , you bless so many people and you do not know it...

Your writings reaches the bottom of our souls and we give thanks to God for you...
...xox...

I havent made a testimony because ppl hardly even read testimonies let alone post in them but I figured I might as well.
I guess it begins when I was with my mom and dad, as a young kid as long as I could remember they were always abusive and starved me severely. I was always hungry and I was treated like a slave, I did all sorts of chores and for no reason at all they would hurt me. I had to clean the carpet with nothing but water and a tooth brush and they hit me a lot. I remember they would sit in a circle and I had to take my pants off and one by one they would stab my in the but with a sowing needle. there was one time they made me eat a cockroach another they made me eat my sisters poop another they made me drink my uncles throw up.

There was another time my mom cut my bottom with a knife and said the blood coming out was demons and scared me. my mom would sometimes make special pancakes for me, she would make pancakes crunch up lots of pills and say they were sprinkles and drench it in syrup. I knew I would black out if i ate it but i never get to eat good so I did it no problem.

Basically I had a terrible child hood, and I dont even remember the worst parts, when I was taken away at age eight apparently my parents spilled the beans of all they did and I was put in a foster home. my foster mom still wont tell me the parts I dont remember she said it was to gruesome and horrible for me to handle all i know is that they sexually abused me and lots of horrible things that my mind apparently cant remember because they starved me so bad and they drugged so much that I somehow had brain damage. at the age of eight I was the size of a four year old due to not being fed good so I had to eat a whole lot so my body could gradually catch up

I was put in a good foster home, the dad was a real jerk but i dont hold grudges. I had already forgiven my real parents I am not able to stay mad at someone trust me I have tried. I had 4 good years although I had medical issues they werent that bad but then I got cancer luekemia, its a deadly blood cancer. Cancer of course is no joy ride, you have to go through so much stuff like radiation and chemo therapy you get stuck with needles a whole lot and you get more medical issues from the radiation and it damages your body. I had it for four years but finally it was in remission meaning its basically asleep but can come back at any time. to this day I still suffer from the cancer and the damage it did to my body, I have many health issue I received another dose of brain damage and I now have diabetes. I even for some reason get this horrible pain in my nerves and bones.

People say I am brave and strong for fighting and beating cancer, but im not because I didnt do anything it was all because of the doctors help that I am even alive. there were a couple times i almost died and they saved me. all I did was put up with it.

I eventually graduated high school but because I cant drive due to the brain damage I cannot go to work as there is not a place to work in walking distance and plus I have trouble remembering simple things and following simple commands. So I live with my mom and in all likely hood will for the rest of my life because I have no way of earning money and cant live on my own. But anyways I was saved two years ago and it was the best decision I ever made, my family doesnt think I will ever amount to much or be anyone special but God says that I can and will

Hi Blain..You may not remember me..but I was in here in 2017 understand the name of Stewart and we used to interact on here..If you just type "Stewarts final poem"..you commented in that poem which was my last one here in Sept 2017.Have a look..it may refresh your memory..it has been a while.
Dude..you testimony is so deeply harrowing and heartfelt.How on earth could they treat you like that and go to bed each night with a clean conscience??You have suffered so much and are still living with the impact of what you suffered.I praise God for your life dude and I love how you ended your testimony..👏🏻👏🏻
How you were treated is not a reflection of your true worth.You're a diamond,one of lifes survivors..precious and so much more.God loves you more than you will ever know and though you have struggles and certain limitations now..Jesus Is now your lord and saviour and i can relate to life being been in an abusive home too.
I know many here have been both touched and blessed by your powerful testimony.
I am so glad to have found you her again.I joined here just over a week ago.

I may have to check the poem to refresh my memory but if we knew each other I may remember.

Thank you for your generous and overwhemingly kind words it is true that I am still affected by what I went through and lately it has gotten a lot worse I just came out of a massive storm when the enmy was poking my weakest inner wounds it was probably the worst and most painful storm I have ever been in I was in such deep and heavy inner pain and couldn't help breaking down a lot my family never listens to me and I have carried these inner wounds since I was a kid but hid them deep inside and never realized the damage I was making inside.

But I cling to God in this time after all he was all I had only he knew and could understand fully what I was going through and so many times he reached out to me and sp[oke gentle encouragement whether that was a song a movie show a person or something someone else says to me on here. We eventually made through the storm and I do feel closer to him but I also realized that I have a lot of inner wounds that I ignored and a therapist isn't an option right now not even an online one we simply don't have the money and plus I cannot drive and have no ride to there anyways.

The pain is still there just npot as bad but I also believe that God is using this experience to shape and mold me even perhaps free me from all the inner chains and wounds I placed on myself

I havent made a testimony because ppl hardly even read testimonies let alone post in them but I figured I might as well.
I guess it begins when I was with my mom and dad, as a young kid as long as I could remember they were always abusive and starved me severely. I was always hungry and I was treated like a slave, I did all sorts of chores and for no reason at all they would hurt me. I had to clean the carpet with nothing but water and a tooth brush and they hit me a lot. I remember they would sit in a circle and I had to take my pants off and one by one they would stab my in the but with a sowing needle. there was one time they made me eat a cockroach another they made me eat my sisters poop another they made me drink my uncles throw up.

There was another time my mom cut my bottom with a knife and said the blood coming out was demons and scared me. my mom would sometimes make special pancakes for me, she would make pancakes crunch up lots of pills and say they were sprinkles and drench it in syrup. I knew I would black out if i ate it but i never get to eat good so I did it no problem.

Basically I had a terrible child hood, and I dont even remember the worst parts, when I was taken away at age eight apparently my parents spilled the beans of all they did and I was put in a foster home. my foster mom still wont tell me the parts I dont remember she said it was to gruesome and horrible for me to handle all i know is that they sexually abused me and lots of horrible things that my mind apparently cant remember because they starved me so bad and they drugged so much that I somehow had brain damage. at the age of eight I was the size of a four year old due to not being fed good so I had to eat a whole lot so my body could gradually catch up

I was put in a good foster home, the dad was a real jerk but i dont hold grudges. I had already forgiven my real parents I am not able to stay mad at someone trust me I have tried. I had 4 good years although I had medical issues they werent that bad but then I got cancer luekemia, its a deadly blood cancer. Cancer of course is no joy ride, you have to go through so much stuff like radiation and chemo therapy you get stuck with needles a whole lot and you get more medical issues from the radiation and it damages your body. I had it for four years but finally it was in remission meaning its basically asleep but can come back at any time. to this day I still suffer from the cancer and the damage it did to my body, I have many health issue I received another dose of brain damage and I now have diabetes. I even for some reason get this horrible pain in my nerves and bones.

People say I am brave and strong for fighting and beating cancer, but im not because I didnt do anything it was all because of the doctors help that I am even alive. there were a couple times i almost died and they saved me. all I did was put up with it.

I eventually graduated high school but because I cant drive due to the brain damage I cannot go to work as there is not a place to work in walking distance and plus I have trouble remembering simple things and following simple commands. So I live with my mom and in all likely hood will for the rest of my life because I have no way of earning money and cant live on my own. But anyways I was saved two years ago and it was the best decision I ever made, my family doesnt think I will ever amount to much or be anyone special but God says that I can and will

That is a difficult path to walk but know that others have had bad paths as well. Maybe not in the ways that you have dealt with but in other ways.

Hi Blaine: I read your post and it tugged at my heart as others who read it I'm sure. I too had a difficult childhood, not ANYTHING as the posting you described. I felt lonely and angry at my parents for many many years. I was angry mainly for the lack of love. There were other issues but mainly having unloving parents.

The reason for my replying to your posting is to share with you what the Lord (years back) shared with me which was: It was not my parent's fault for not loving me and doing the things they did. It was their upbringing. They treated me the identical way they themselves were treated. This of course was contrary to what I had always thought which was, they would know better since they were treated this way BUT, sadly a lot of parents do treat their children the same as they were treated when they were young.

I am not a psychologist but I am fully convinced now that some children when very young experience happenings in their lives that stick with them thus treating others as they have been treated, not every individual, but some. I prayed about this for I felt this was possibly from the Lord. As I continued to ponder these thoughts above, I continued in thought about my own children. How I would loose my temper (which in many many cases was so unnecessary for the trivial things they did and so on) It had been done to me. The hurtful things I would say (again as was done to me)

PLEASE UNDERSTAND I am not saying what was done to you was in ANY WAY RIGHT - IT WAS NOT! Nor am I saying it was because of the way they were brought up. I am only sharing some of what was revealed to me from the Lord.

Most IMPORTANTLY the Lord revealed I needed to forgive them. Now this was (or so I thought) something I was going to have a difficult time doing. I read Scriptures on forgiveness, I prayed and prayed yet still found the hurts I experienced beyond my ability to forgive. As the Lord again revealed, yes, it was beyond my ability BUT not beyond His unlimited grace, I only needed to ask for His grace to allow me to forgive. In other words, I needed to let go and let God. He reminded me of all that Jesus took on the cross for me, for us, the entire sins of the world. AND..... Since Jesus forgives me, (on a daily basis) who am I not to forgive.

As I prayed for God's grace it was freely given, as of course it always is, I needed only to ask. Then one day as I was reading God's Word I came across Scripture that I feel led to share. Its found in Psalms 27:10 "Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close." I do not take the word abandon as literally "giving away" or "dropping off" but rather in cases as you discussed and also in mine. This Scripture brought me so much comfort.

I apologize for the length of my posting, I just wrote the thoughts that came to mind. One last one and I promise not to continue. God is so awesome, how He uses our circumstances to share with others. ALL GLORY AND PRAISE TO HIS NAME.

I havent made a testimony because ppl hardly even read testimonies let alone post in them but I figured I might as well.
I guess it begins when I was with my mom and dad, as a young kid as long as I could remember they were always abusive and starved me severely. I was always hungry and I was treated like a slave, I did all sorts of chores and for no reason at all they would hurt me. I had to clean the carpet with nothing but water and a tooth brush and they hit me a lot. I remember they would sit in a circle and I had to take my pants off and one by one they would stab my in the but with a sowing needle. there was one time they made me eat a cockroach another they made me eat my sisters poop another they made me drink my uncles throw up.

There was another time my mom cut my bottom with a knife and said the blood coming out was demons and scared me. my mom would sometimes make special pancakes for me, she would make pancakes crunch up lots of pills and say they were sprinkles and drench it in syrup. I knew I would black out if i ate it but i never get to eat good so I did it no problem.

Basically I had a terrible child hood, and I dont even remember the worst parts, when I was taken away at age eight apparently my parents spilled the beans of all they did and I was put in a foster home. my foster mom still wont tell me the parts I dont remember she said it was to gruesome and horrible for me to handle all i know is that they sexually abused me and lots of horrible things that my mind apparently cant remember because they starved me so bad and they drugged so much that I somehow had brain damage. at the age of eight I was the size of a four year old due to not being fed good so I had to eat a whole lot so my body could gradually catch up

I was put in a good foster home, the dad was a real jerk but i dont hold grudges. I had already forgiven my real parents I am not able to stay mad at someone trust me I have tried. I had 4 good years although I had medical issues they werent that bad but then I got cancer luekemia, its a deadly blood cancer. Cancer of course is no joy ride, you have to go through so much stuff like radiation and chemo therapy you get stuck with needles a whole lot and you get more medical issues from the radiation and it damages your body. I had it for four years but finally it was in remission meaning its basically asleep but can come back at any time. to this day I still suffer from the cancer and the damage it did to my body, I have many health issue I received another dose of brain damage and I now have diabetes. I even for some reason get this horrible pain in my nerves and bones.

People say I am brave and strong for fighting and beating cancer, but im not because I didnt do anything it was all because of the doctors help that I am even alive. there were a couple times i almost died and they saved me. all I did was put up with it.

I eventually graduated high school but because I cant drive due to the brain damage I cannot go to work as there is not a place to work in walking distance and plus I have trouble remembering simple things and following simple commands. So I live with my mom and in all likely hood will for the rest of my life because I have no way of earning money and cant live on my own. But anyways I was saved two years ago and it was the best decision I ever made, my family doesnt think I will ever amount to much or be anyone special but God says that I can and will

Blain, this has got to be one of the most heart breaking stories I have ever heard--I am so sorry that all those things happened to you--your parents sound as if they were demon possessed. There is a clinical term where people in the same family--I read a story of two sisters--European --here i just found the story: https://www.bizarrepedia.com/ursula-and-sabina-eriksson/

I am sorry too for what you are going thru now--I had not read this post before I responded to your dream. It's astounding that you have kept a sound mind despite all you've been thru. I will be praying for your healing from your childhood trauma as well for your physical healing. You were very brave to be so vulnerable here.


"God nothing is impossible for you--please heal Blain completely--please make a way so that he can go out into the world. Give him friends who understand him. In the meantime give him your comfort, your peace, your joy."--Amen.

Blessings,

Laura

But as for me, I will pray to you, Lord;
answer me, God, at a time you choose.
Answer me because of your great love,
because you keep your promise to save.
14 Save me from sinking in the mud;
keep me safe from my enemies,
safe from the deep water.
15 Don't let the flood come over me;
don't let me drown in the depths
or sink into the grave.
16 Answer me, Lord, in the goodness of your constant love;
in your great compassion turn to me!
17 Don't hide yourself from your servant;
I am in great trouble—answer me now!
18 Come to me and save me;--Psalm 69

I havent made a testimony because ppl hardly even read testimonies let alone post in them but I figured I might as well.
I guess it begins when I was with my mom and dad, as a young kid as long as I could remember they were always abusive and starved me severely. I was always hungry and I was treated like a slave, I did all sorts of chores and for no reason at all they would hurt me. I had to clean the carpet with nothing but water and a tooth brush and they hit me a lot. I remember they would sit in a circle and I had to take my pants off and one by one they would stab my in the but with a sowing needle. there was one time they made me eat a cockroach another they made me eat my sisters poop another they made me drink my uncles throw up.

There was another time my mom cut my bottom with a knife and said the blood coming out was demons and scared me. my mom would sometimes make special pancakes for me, she would make pancakes crunch up lots of pills and say they were sprinkles and drench it in syrup. I knew I would black out if i ate it but i never get to eat good so I did it no problem.

Basically I had a terrible child hood, and I dont even remember the worst parts, when I was taken away at age eight apparently my parents spilled the beans of all they did and I was put in a foster home. my foster mom still wont tell me the parts I dont remember she said it was to gruesome and horrible for me to handle all i know is that they sexually abused me and lots of horrible things that my mind apparently cant remember because they starved me so bad and they drugged so much that I somehow had brain damage. at the age of eight I was the size of a four year old due to not being fed good so I had to eat a whole lot so my body could gradually catch up

I was put in a good foster home, the dad was a real jerk but i dont hold grudges. I had already forgiven my real parents I am not able to stay mad at someone trust me I have tried. I had 4 good years although I had medical issues they werent that bad but then I got cancer luekemia, its a deadly blood cancer. Cancer of course is no joy ride, you have to go through so much stuff like radiation and chemo therapy you get stuck with needles a whole lot and you get more medical issues from the radiation and it damages your body. I had it for four years but finally it was in remission meaning its basically asleep but can come back at any time. to this day I still suffer from the cancer and the damage it did to my body, I have many health issue I received another dose of brain damage and I now have diabetes. I even for some reason get this horrible pain in my nerves and bones.

People say I am brave and strong for fighting and beating cancer, but im not because I didnt do anything it was all because of the doctors help that I am even alive. there were a couple times i almost died and they saved me. all I did was put up with it.

I eventually graduated high school but because I cant drive due to the brain damage I cannot go to work as there is not a place to work in walking distance and plus I have trouble remembering simple things and following simple commands. So I live with my mom and in all likely hood will for the rest of my life because I have no way of earning money and cant live on my own. But anyways I was saved two years ago and it was the best decision I ever made, my family doesnt think I will ever amount to much or be anyone special but God says that I can and will

Wow, first of all thank you for being so brave and sharing your testimony with the world. I feel many different things from reading this, mostly love and happiness that you know the Lord. I've been through a lot of abuse but not as much or as horrific as yours so i'm very humbled. It's not everyday I find someone who truly knows what it's like to go through some of these things, a lot don't even believe it because it's so far outside what they can imagine. I feel like I have millions of words trying to come out and speechless at the same time. Your story and your strength are like kindling in my soul now. I would like to talk with you more if you are up to it. God bless you brother, I think the Lord has a very special place for you in the kingdom and maybe i'll be somewhere close too.

I havent made a testimony because ppl hardly even read testimonies let alone post in them but I figured I might as well.
I guess it begins when I was with my mom and dad, as a young kid as long as I could remember they were always abusive and starved me severely. I was always hungry and I was treated like a slave, I did all sorts of chores and for no reason at all they would hurt me. I had to clean the carpet with nothing but water and a tooth brush and they hit me a lot. I remember they would sit in a circle and I had to take my pants off and one by one they would stab my in the but with a sowing needle. there was one time they made me eat a cockroach another they made me eat my sisters poop another they made me drink my uncles throw up.

There was another time my mom cut my bottom with a knife and said the blood coming out was demons and scared me. my mom would sometimes make special pancakes for me, she would make pancakes crunch up lots of pills and say they were sprinkles and drench it in syrup. I knew I would black out if i ate it but i never get to eat good so I did it no problem.

Basically I had a terrible child hood, and I dont even remember the worst parts, when I was taken away at age eight apparently my parents spilled the beans of all they did and I was put in a foster home. my foster mom still wont tell me the parts I dont remember she said it was to gruesome and horrible for me to handle all i know is that they sexually abused me and lots of horrible things that my mind apparently cant remember because they starved me so bad and they drugged so much that I somehow had brain damage. at the age of eight I was the size of a four year old due to not being fed good so I had to eat a whole lot so my body could gradually catch up

I was put in a good foster home, the dad was a real jerk but i dont hold grudges. I had already forgiven my real parents I am not able to stay mad at someone trust me I have tried. I had 4 good years although I had medical issues they werent that bad but then I got cancer luekemia, its a deadly blood cancer. Cancer of course is no joy ride, you have to go through so much stuff like radiation and chemo therapy you get stuck with needles a whole lot and you get more medical issues from the radiation and it damages your body. I had it for four years but finally it was in remission meaning its basically asleep but can come back at any time. to this day I still suffer from the cancer and the damage it did to my body, I have many health issue I received another dose of brain damage and I now have diabetes. I even for some reason get this horrible pain in my nerves and bones.

People say I am brave and strong for fighting and beating cancer, but im not because I didnt do anything it was all because of the doctors help that I am even alive. there were a couple times i almost died and they saved me. all I did was put up with it.

I eventually graduated high school but because I cant drive due to the brain damage I cannot go to work as there is not a place to work in walking distance and plus I have trouble remembering simple things and following simple commands. So I live with my mom and in all likely hood will for the rest of my life because I have no way of earning money and cant live on my own. But anyways I was saved two years ago and it was the best decision I ever made, my family doesnt think I will ever amount to much or be anyone special but God says that I can and will

Reading this left me gasping... PARENTS LIKE THIS EXIST?!??!