Dating a non believer and it’s challenges

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#41
I think if someone is agnostic and dating a believer they wouldnt really understand what faith means, and they would not talk about it because the agnostic has no idea what it means.

and the believer who is dating an agnostic wouldnt want to bring it up, because then it would call into question all the reasons why they are dating someone who has no faith in the first place and who they are really placing their faith in.
 

stilllearning

Well-known member
Oct 4, 2021
598
307
63
#42
I'm still not fluent in English, sorry. English is not my mother tongue.
I was dating her that's what I mean, she wanted to leave her husband and family to live with me, but there is no fault for the children so I rejected her decision.

She is still a believer and I did not talk to her about faith, but I did not mean that religion played a role in our story, I just commented on the topic and tell my experience with her as a believer.

Thanks bro appreciate the info. No worries on the English language it is my native tongue and I am illiterate in English......LOL Well I hope and pray as you are here that you see the love of our Lord Christ come shinning through and it makes ya want to make a decision for him.

Welcome aboard and I hope our lights come shinning through so you see that Christ is what we were created for :) Welcome aboard :)
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
4,097
3,196
113
#43
I am married to a non-believer. We have a daughter together. I was a non-practicing Catholic when we got married, but since then I have been born again. I stay in the marriage because of my daughter, and I pray that my wife will be saved one day through my example. One big issue that I have been suffering over...she has been divorced. I have been reading the bible (audible, but still) and keep getting hung up on the numerous passages about how marrying a divorcee is adultery. There really is no hope for me in this instance. How would it be right of me to end this marriage when I have kids? What is the remedy? Abstinence? I am praying that the Holy Spirit will consecrate this marriage now, since I didn't enter into it knowing scripture. I know that God can do all, and therefore He can also save my soul in this situation as well. It can't be His will that I commit the sin of divorce to amend my sin of adultery through unsanctified marriage. And what of my daughter?
There is only one unforgivable sin, and marrying a divorcee is not it. God can as easily forgive that as He can any other sin. It's people that hold onto sins, not God.
 
Jan 5, 2022
1,224
620
113
37
"A higher plane," hehe
www.youtube.com
#44
Yes started dating a non Beliver and it’s very challenging I must say . Because of my beliefs I said I would enter this with caution . We see things so differently, I see things through kingdom eyes . Any one experienced this
I simply would not do it. Can light have fellowship with darkness? Will an unbeliever acknowledge the spiritual authority structure the Scriptures lay out for us? Will an unbeliever want to raise your children with you in the nurture and admonition of the Lord as commanded? Will an unbeliever be growing towards God as you do, or pulling you away from Him, forcing you to choose one or the other?

My grandmother was a Christian, born again AFTER marrying my grandfather, but my grandfather never became a Christian. It was a very difficult situation for my grandmother. She was a good wife and honored and obeyed her husband, but he was bitter against God and there was a lot of friction after my aunts left home.

This is a real temptation I know. There is a gal I work with who from my first day on the job made it clear she is absolutely head over heels for me... and she is exactly my type. Super cute, smart, hard working, long black hair, dark eyes. But she is not a Christian and not a virtuous woman. I could get away with something here if I wanted, but I won't let myself.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#45
when people say 'type' I am never clear what they really mean

How do you even know what 'type' of person you are, or what 'type' of person is for you.


All my friends are so different from me and each other that I dont even have a 'type' of friend. I recall in school, it the only division it seemed to me was an invisible one of 'class'. the richer kids kept to themselves and only seemed to associate with each other. I think maybe they had a secret handshake or something, or just knew from the fancy jewellery they wore...or their show brands I dunno.

Its not as if the poorer kids smelled. Or did they?
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#46
Actually, I dont really know what it was. Maybe it was just location. Those that lived in the valley were seen as different from those that lived in the hills. Though they didnt LOOK much different.

When I went off to uni the very first thing people asked is upon introduction is 'where are you from'.

so maybe it is advantageous to date your next door neighbour. You know exactly where they are from. Next door!
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#47
* shoe*brands not show brands. dang typos. This site doesnt give you much time to edit when you notice a mistake in your own post.
 

OneOfHis

Well-known member
Mar 24, 2019
1,430
2,210
113
#48
I wouldn't even consider starting any sort of relationship someone in unbelief beyond being their friend or someone to help them in a time of need.

Spiritual wisdom will often be foolishness to them. They will be walking by their flesh. Those two will not be equally yoked, imagine a bull strapped up to a donkey and they both want to go in different directions.


Marriage is so special and important, I'd really want to appreciate my wife and her beliefs and her desires. I don't think I could be the same husband to a woman who fundamentally disagrees with what is MOST important about me.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,718
9,649
113
#49
when people say 'type' I am never clear what they really mean

How do you even know what 'type' of person you are, or what 'type' of person is for you.
Oh that's easy! According to my doctor I'm type o negative. :cool:
 

DeeGee

Active member
Dec 31, 2021
193
109
43
#50
Yes started dating a non Beliver and it’s very challenging I must say . Because of my beliefs I said I would enter this with caution . We see things so differently, I see things through kingdom eyes . Any one experienced this
Out of curiosity, what do you talk about? In almost all of my conversations (however, I'm not dating), Jesus, God, salvation, Godly living, prayer, etc. comes into the conversation. I love to discuss the Lord. Everyone in my dog rescue group knows where I stand on the Lord. Not many of them are Christian, but they "tolerate" my beliefs. For one thing, I get results in rescuing the dogs, and I give all the glory to the Lord. LOL So, if they love the dogs, they tolerate me. :) But with those non-believers, almost the only thing we have in common is our love for the dogs. We don't talk about anything except them. Any time we venture into another topic...well, it doesn't work, sadly. Every now and again, I will get the opportunity to personally witness to one of those friends, but, honestly, those opportunities are few and far between. Otherwise, we get along well as long as we stay inside the box of "Keeshond dog rescue."

With those experiences, I cannot imagine dating someone who is a non-believer. Granted, I really cannot imagine dating anyone, LOL, but if I do imagine...I know first and foremost, my date would need to be a Christ follower. I'm not you, though.
 

Lighthearted

Senior Member
Oct 17, 2016
1,779
818
113
54
#51
I think sometimes one wants and needs love so badly, one finds it hard to wait on the Lord and His timing.
What I've finally learned after my experiences...is that I already had the greatest love of my life.
The very one that brought me through the pain of an ill yoked marriage and many poorly chosen relationships and then worked it all for my good.
The good part, the wisdom, was learning to wait and trust God to send me His very best.
 

BrotherMike

Be Still and Know
Jan 8, 2018
1,617
1,671
113
#52
I think sometimes one wants and needs love so badly, one finds it hard to wait on the Lord and His timing.
What I've finally learned after my experiences...is that I already had the greatest love of my life.
The very one that brought me through the pain of an ill yoked marriage and many poorly chosen relationships and then worked it all for my good.
The good part, the wisdom, was learning to wait and trust God to send me His very best.
I’ve learned the same and once I figured that out, I relied on His timing. He brought me an amazing Christian woman. I’m amazed at His goodness and really does want the best for His children.
 

Sculpt

Well-known member
Apr 18, 2021
1,147
368
83
#53
I’ve learned the same and once I figured that out, I relied on His timing. He brought me an amazing Christian woman. I’m amazed at His goodness and really does want the best for His children.
How'd it happen, meeting her and all?
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,718
9,649
113
#55
I'm type O negative too.
Honestly I have no idea what type I am. I was bluffing. All doctors are vampires and I ain't letting one near me with a needle. I know when they look at me they see (as Calvin said) a little pink pincushion. :p
 

Sculpt

Well-known member
Apr 18, 2021
1,147
368
83
#56
Honestly I have no idea what type I am. I was bluffing. All doctors are vampires and I ain't letting one near me with a needle. I know when they look at me they see (as Calvin said) a little pink pincushion. :p
You won't give blood either? We need pincushion blood on hand.