Forgiveness.

So I have debated posting anything for a while but I wanted to ask everyone something. Through trauma or simply being so hurt the pain lingers in every prayer or every time I feel God's caress against my cheek telling me there is something more than this, there is more than pain I feel in my heart. Or the anger and hatred I feel about myself. My question is what does forgiveness truly mean? As a child I thought it was a hug and go back to playing with my toys. Forgiveness is key in our faith. I feel like a failure because I still do not forgive the certain people that caused or are linked to my trauma. The thing is I want to forgive, I want to be free of the strangle hold it has on me. Maybe it is I am afraid of forgiving because the pain has grown to comfort me in some way. I think the Lord is telling me I am scared of truly being free because I don't know anything other than the pain. I have dreams, such vivid dreams of laughing and being happy with the ones I love. A glimpse...maybe of a future I could have. I am struggling with the true Christian forgiveness. Many have different interpretations of forgiveness. So what does forgiveness mean to you?
Thank you for making me feel welcome and taking the time to read this.
Many blessings and love to all.

If you can't forgive them now then try asking your Heavenly Father to forgive them...


Luke 23:34
Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots. ~KJV

My sincere prayer is that peace comes to you in the morning, and that peace involves you no longer being angry or hating yourself.

Holding a grudge ...anger ...hatred or any inequity that has been shown against you ....Hurts no one but you. The other person may not even be aware of them much less care...But it is unhealthy for you ...and you are what matters.
We forgive not because we are such great people.... but we forgive because God for Christ sake hath forgiven us.

Eph 4:32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
Col 3:13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.
We have all been wronged in our lives and I am not minimizing anything you have been through ...but you need to find a way to forgive so you can start to heal and live...... You deserve to live and not be held captive by those who have wronged you.

Genuine biblical forgiveness has several components... acknowledging the reality of the offense or hurt, the damage caused, the wrongness of it, and the fact that it can't be undone. It means choosing not to hold the offense between that person and you, but rather to consider that offense as surrendered to God and paid for on the cross. It also involves repenting for stepping into God's place of judgment, and expecting another person to give you something that only God can give.

We can't do it on our own, so we need to ask for God's grace to forgive properly. He loves to answer prayers like that.

Don't expect it to happen suddenly, but do look eagerly for changes in your heart attitudes towards the offender, and a lessening of the pain.

Forgiveness is release from a debt that we owe. I can quote scripture if you wish.

Humanly speaking, we cannot forgive from the heart. It's always conditional, even with our own failures. We can be our own harshest judges.

The link is to an article that is the most comprehensive and helpful on the subject that I've ever come across. Many people have been helped, including myself. I had a good excuse. My ex took off with my two kids, defying a court order and just disappeared. That is pain. However, the truth sets us free and I have no ill will towards my ex at all. And it was not my doing!

https://www.christianlife.org.au/can-you-forgive-from-your-heart

Forgiving does not mean forgetting (which may be psychologically impossible). It means holding no grudges and treating the other person as though he/she didn't cause you hurt. In practical terms, this means you have to be nice to that person.

"Letting go of the past or the past will not let go of us. This requires an honest willingness
and an honest desire to have a meaningful peace. It's a mind thing, and requires discipline
and self-control.
-Here again I might mention the Serenity Prayer. Over the years I have relied on the prayer to help
with my discipline and self-control. It works so long as I work at applying it to my actions...believe it.
And having a God consciousness is of great significance in helping with forgiveness, keeping in mind
a WILLINGNESS TO APPY AND ACT UPON.

-Make no mistake, through God's inspiration, the instructions have been put forth. And being essential
to apply and act upon. It requires work with perseverance...believe it!
-I hope you find the will power to manage the emotional dilemma and come to know peace being
in your hands and hopefully with guidance of our Lord, through the Holy Spirit, you endure to overcome."

The fact that you wrestle with this shows that your faith is genuine. Some people come to a justification of holding one accountable for their actions creating their own image of God.
God says he not only forgives but chooses to forget unfortunately we dont have that power to forget.
Paul talks about a man that has done him much harm. Instead of vengeance or cursing defiling himself he choose to turn him over to satan for buffeting. Question is could he do this?
I think what paul was saying here is let God be the judge, you know Lord. Paul did not let this stop him from doing what he was called to do.
Try not to confuse conviction and condemnation one is from God, one of the adversary.
I would say you are of the later for it is robbing you of the joy and peace of the Lord.
I would suggest you continue with your calling being that light that shines in the darkness and when you are confronted with these thoughts look up and say....you know Lord.

forgive when you pray thats where it begins between you and God. When you make it a part of your relationship with God , he’s able to imprint it on your heart so it becomes easier later to forgive freely others in our relationships

“And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”
‭‭Mark‬ ‭11:25‬ ‭

Precious friend, I will pray for you. I took care of this early in my walk
with The LORD, and it was (Peace for me) second only to the "day I was
"Saved AND Forgiven By HIM!" Please Be Very RICHLY Encouraged And Edified,
as I believe the following is Both for our "physical And mental" infirmities:

GRACE Word For our infirmities!

Php_3:13 "Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this
one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching
forth unto those things which are before"

GRACE and Peace...

I will summarize first and then go into this big long winded speech maybe that ends with. This went a different way but did end in a period.

I believe I my feel some of what God might be saying to you.
Frist. God would probably be wiping your tears away off your face with His hand gently taking away your fear. Saying "I have always loved you even back when I created you. Fear not, for I do have a plan for you. I have been replacing the bad and hurting things to good loving things. For My love is casting out your fears more and more. Even now you have many friends of Mine to talk with. Please forgive your self and receive my Spirit into your heart and mind. I am always right next you giving you the My Spirt to Comforter you. Even though the world has made you low I will rise you up high upon My holy mounting and your garment will be washed clean and white as snow for what My Son did for the world. I shale place upon thine head a crown of Glory for My name sake and empower you by my Spirit to speak Love into my people, even on to being filled with My Spirit. My Word does not return void , and my promises are fulfilled. This I say onto you my beloved daughter whom I am well pleased."

Each of us sins many times against God, during our lives. And we would surely be lost without his constant forgiveness, no matter how seriously we've offended Him. In the prayer that Jesus taught us, The Lord's Prayer, Jesus stresses the importance of forgiveness. There is great value in anything that Jesus teaches us.

“And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those that trespass against us”; this request to the Father is a two edged sword. We ask for God’s mercy and forgiveness, but only if we are merciful and forgiving to others.

Immediately after teaching the apostles ‘The Lord’s Prayer’ Jesus told them, “If you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.“ (Matt 6:14)

Understand something about the nature of forgiveness. When we truly forgive others for the wrongs they have done to us, we’re not doing them any favors, but ourselves. When we forgive, we take away the chains of the stings, resentments, and the bitterness of the wrongs they have done to us. Our forgiveness frees us from things that make us miserable.

Forgiving our enemies does not mean having to be pals with them or even seeing them again. What it does mean is letting go of hatred and grudges. In your heart, wish your enemies well, say a prayer for them, and move on.

“There is great value in anything that Jesus teaches us.”

that sure is the truth of all things , it’s the life within us and our light that goes before us lighting our path ahead and steps we take in our travels.

It is the hope that presses us forward and the strength in our walk. The promises we depend on , encouragement and even the correction we need to live for eternity

Our minds do not run away from us, we are able to steer it as God directs us to do. We are told what to do about sin, and through God we are givewe n the power to dWe are tp repent of sin, turn our backs to it and let Christ forgive us. We are told we can have absolute faith in Christ, Christ will do what he promised. We are to accept that and not live in guilt.

Joyful, victorious Christian living is free of sin for it is turned from with repentance, and when we accept others, warts and all, we can accept the forgiveness Christ offers us.

Try to think, if someone murdered you, can you forgive him,Or try to forgive something you think you can't forgive,
Forgiveness requires practice, not innate.

I'm very happy for you. At least you realize the importance of forgiveness.

One way to achieve forgiveness is appreciation.
for example you go out for a walk and appreciate god’s creation. You appreciate the birds, the sun, you breathing and walking. You may feel like buying a cup of coffee for people in need or others such as a cop or a construction worker or a nurse and than you may reach the point of forgiving and appreciating whoever hurt you.
why? Because you’re appreciating GOD’s creation.

"But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?" - Romans 7:23-24 KJV

The approach Paul takes in scripture is to identify different parts of one's self and to nurture that part of us that is good and diminish the power of that which is carnal.

If we are to love our neighbours as ourselves, surely this means that the same principle applies outwardly as it does inwardly. Just as Paul remarked on his own carnal side as wretched, seemingly we can apply that thought to the carnal nature of others (and to love the part of them that shares in the love of God). You'll notice that Paul doesn't focus vehemently on his inherent carnal nature and instead speaks of it like a snake that had bitten him once that he has grown wiser to. He does not speak in a way that suggests that he fears the snake, but rather respects its power to cause harm and keeps it in check by doing his utmost to let God work through him so to displace that carnal drive. Christ and Paul both openly chastised the wrongdoing of others. There is a time and a place to be on alert for a snake in the grass. It may have bitten us once but we don't need to hold onto that grudge or blame. Like holding a hot coal with the intention to throw it, the act of holding on to a negative intention burns us. Self forgiveness is key to forgiving others. And if God can forgive you by Christ in you, it is in you to forgive yourself (and from there: others). Forgiveness doesn't mean pretending that the snake in the grass isn't there. Forgiveness is about letting go and letting love guide your way. Love is patient, love is kind.

Precious friend, A Very Warm Welcome To Chat.

GRACE And Peace...