I gave up on finding a mate.

This reminds me of the following meme:



I'll never forget what my ex said to me when I proposed to her.

She said, and I quote, "I want you to know that I would never want to marry a man like you."

I was like, "Okayyyyy..."

She continued, "I don't mean that in a bad way (I'm thinking, "Whattttt?!?"). I mean that I would never want to marry a man like you because I know that you'll always want to do what is right."

She then said "Yes", btw, because she knew that God told both us to marry each other.

In hindsight, that was the primary reason why she hated me.

Not because of anything bad that I ever did to her or our children, but because I did that which was right.

The real root reason why she hated me and ultimately divorced me is that she grew to hate Jesus Christ.

He was the one who was always directly dealing with her, and she wanted nothing to do with the type of crucified life that he calls each and everyone of us to. I was just collateral damage. In essence, she couldn't handle the truth, and the Truth is a person (John 14:6).

Anyhow...

Please do.

I still pray for her every day.

She regularly takes Jesus' name in vain now.

There was a time when she literally used to cast demons out of people in Jesus' name.

Having watched her downfall, and having seen how God himself sought to get her to repent so many different times to no avail, I have to consider that she's been given over to a reprobate mind.

As I said earlier, it's horrifying to watch.

P.S.

She calls Christianity a "cult" and "bondage", and she's told others that I'm a "cult-leader".

I wonder if the OP still wants to get married after reading some of the responses here...



Again, marriage is no joke.

Instead, it's a natural representation of the spiritual union between Christ and his church.

Let none of us deceive or delude ourselves into ever believing otherwise.

I live in a corner bedroom on the top floor of a townhouse. Sometimes it's kinda lonely. Though it is quiet and peaceful. It's God and me.
"It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife." - Proverbs 21:9
So true. It took years, but my ears finally stopped ringing! Silver lining.

@anne03

I think there was a misunderstanding. Someone pointed out that I missed a term in your initial post that was in the one you were responding to. I did not read your message -- or his -- that closely, and I'd like to give myself some leeway because of that (I missed a single word in each post).

That being said, I think that if I was in your place I might want someone to offer an apology or at least an admission that they responded without having all the facts in mind, whether or not they missed a single word. So, because of that, I ask your forgiveness for anything in my post that caused offense.

I do get tensed up about this topic, because so often Christians will say in one post how we ought to derive our deepest satisfaction from Christ, how this life is not our true home, etc. But then, in another post they will express loneliness or hurt out of a human relationship or lack thereof. So, my response to you was largely out of my deep annoyance with that.

I don't mean to come out gangbusters like that, but sometimes I do. I forget myself because a nerve was hit. I will endeavor to be more measured in my future posts. I will not be perfect at this, so I expect the inevitable chiding. But, I am aware and will try to be more careful.

Again, my apologies for jumping at you so hard.

As a very old couple in a former church of mine once said, it ain't for sissies.

The darkness hates the light.

The rest of us TRIED to tell you. And got blasted for our trouble.

There you go.

For whatever it's worth, I'm proud of you.

As I said initially, I get why this is such a sensitive topic for you, and I personally have no problem whatsoever with you honestly (in my estimation) reiterating that in your apology. Yeah, you really only missed one word, and I suspect that we've all been guilty of missing a lot more than that in our own lives if we're honest.

Have a blessed day.

Yes, it most certainly does, and THIS is the reason why so many people will ultimately be condemned.

John chapter 3

[16] For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
[17] For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.
[18] He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.
[19] And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.
[20] For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved.
[21] But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God.

As I said before, with all of the evils that my ex perpetrated against me, and it truly was a constant onslaught (no exaggeration) for many years, I can honestly say that I have no malice towards her now in my heart, but only pity. Again, it took a lot of time and a lot of dealing with issues in my own heart which were exposed by my fiery trials to get there, but I truly am there, and I can talk about these types of things now matter-of-factly in order to try to help others who might be going through similar situations.

Anyhow, we need to realize that the evils which people perpetrate against us are, first and foremost, evils perpetrated against the Lord and his word. That realization ought to enable us to not get so easily offended or to take things so personally as if they were done solely to us, but instead to mourn for those who are committing the same sins against the Lord, and their own souls, and to pray for them.

I'm not saying that it's easy, but, again, it is doable by the grace of God if we're willing to do things the way in which he has commanded us to.

I was really upset and feeling hopeless when I wrote this post.

I've been away from this site for a couple of days. i wasn't expecting 4 pages of long comments. It is almost too much for me to read everything!

I think a lot of people can relate to what you're going through.

Take the time to read everything.

If you do, then I trust that, if nothing else, you'll come to realize that the situation that you presently find yourself in isn't an isolated incident in that many others have gone through or are presently going through the same exact thing.

"Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: Whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world." (I Peter 5:8-9)

"There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it." (I Corinthians 10:13)

Oh, about the usual. Some people gave advice that was on-point, some gave advice that was not really what you need, somebody misunderstood somebody and got upset... About what normally happens on a thread like this.

Speaking of the "same afflictions" or "common temptations"...

I know that this isn't a funny topic, but it reminds me of something funny that happened to me many years ago.

At that time, I had my own retail business, and I sometimes set up as a vendor at outdoor shows like festivals or fairs, and I also sometimes set up in shopping malls.

Anyhow, there was this one time when I set up shop as a vendor on the second floor at a mall in New Jersey. The other vendors and I all set up outside of the actual stores in the common walking area of the mall, and this particular show lasted for only three days. Well, I became friendly with the vendor that I was set up next to, and he and I both basically stunk up the joint in that our sales were TERRIBLE for those three days. Near the end of the third day, I looked at him, shrugged my shoulders, and asked, "What can we do?"

I'll never forget his response.

He replied, "We could hold hands and jump..." (we were both set up on the second floor near the balcony overlooking the first floor)

I laughed my head off.

Anyhow, when we're going through trials and temptations, it's good to know that we're not alone in that others are going through the same.

Rather than "holding hands and jumping", we need to share our experiences with each other in order that we might learn how to overcome life's tough situations as opposed to being overcome by the same.

Hopefully, this makes sense.

II Corinthians chapter 1

[3] Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;
[4] Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.
[5] For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ.
[6] And whether we be afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effectual in the enduring of the same sufferings which we also suffer: or whether we be comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation.
[7] And our hope of you is stedfast, knowing, that as ye are partakers of the sufferings, so shall ye be also of the consolation.

Well, honestly, you were the only one to see and (graciously) point out the error to me. Thanks.

Off topic... but, I think people prefer Hell and that's why they go there. How could I say such a thing? Their pride is more important to them than repentance. They'd rather suffer horribly than bend the knee. We see this in Revelation. I saw it in myself one night while praying, and it terrified me. I saw my own "old man" and have since been asking God to humble me.

I learned a longgggggggggg time ago that correction is a good thing (only the proud hate it). Sure, it feels grievous for a moment, but afterwards it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who truly turn at the same (Heb. 12:11). God chastens the son he loves and scourges the son he receives (Heb. 12:6). In fact, if we're without chastisement, then we're bastards (Heb. 12:8).

Besides, this was clearly just an oversight on your part, so I'm not seeking to condemn you in the least.

Have a blessed day in the Lord.

"Let the righteous smite me; it shall be a kindness: and let him reprove me; it shall be an excellent oil, which shall not break my head: for yet my prayer also shall be in their calamities." (Psalm 141:5)

Hold m
Hold me.

I wouldn't say that it's off-topic.

Why?

Well, because regardless of the topic on this forum, there's always some sort of contention, and "only by pride comes contention, but with the well advised is wisdom" (Prov. 13:10).

Pride is terrifying, and I've had similar revelations in relation to MYSELF in the past as well.

I'm not sure that God humbles us, however.

More like humiliates us for our own good.

The task of humbling is really our own:

"Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up." (James 4:10)

"Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you." (I Peter 5:6-7)

Anyhow, I know what you meant.

In that regard, I more pray in line with this:

"Keep back thy servant also from presumptuous sins; let them not have dominion over me: then shall I be upright, and I shall be innocent from the great transgression." (Psalm 19:13)

Even then, I still blow it from time to time.

Thank God for repentance and the cleansing blood of Christ.