The Banned Game

says the person who put a guinea pig drowning moat around her country.....

um
Lanolinland is an island, its surrounded by sea, not a moat ...I didnt MAKE the island (I am not God) Im just its president.

Being the president doesnt make me delusional about power, maybe other presidents are but Im not like them. I was voted in, that doesnt mean I voted myself or created the whole thing. That the people decided to name the nation after me, is just coincidence. I think they liked the alliteration.

before it was just called The North Island. A boring name IMHO.

Dear Empress Jennymae,

As school-master for Mosestaria's 105th border kindergarten, a delightful place of learning and sunshine for our dark-haired, warrior-children, I hereby accept your surrender to our Great Chieftain, Moses the Young(er). You will immediately withdraw all Jennymaesian military resources from Mosestaria, and contribute half of your armaments to our righteous campaign to de-Nazify the pariah state of Rubyland.

In return, Mosestaria commits to providing a robust and down-to-earth education for any and all of the red-lipped children of Jennymaesia, at any of its 180 border kindergartens.

Signed, this 23rd day of May, 2022

Elvis Parsley
"The King" of Mosestaria, and School-master for Mosestaria's 105th border kindergarten

Better take him up on this Empress JennyMae

Dont do it Empress Jennymae, remember King Parsley has done several stints in jail for fraud and other mischievous acts. I would check the authenticity of the letter before deciding.

He's actually in gaol again, Madame President. We caught him drunk and disorderly, only a day or so after we released him from his previous escapades.

I tell you, if we weren't so desperate for teachers, people like him would never be allowed to teach. Good thing the 105th border kindergarten only takes Jennymaesian kids...

The Jennymaesian Lipstick Army has decided to apply a new shade on the Mosestarian puppet master. The Empress and her army will be invading Mosestaria at dawn, armed with makeup brushes and semiautomatic lipsticks. All treaties are considered null and void.

History has been rewritten and in the new version Mosestaria has always been a part of mother Jennymaesia. 😂

OH OH!------these look to be very dangerous weapons and an obvious threat to the peace of Shittimistan according to Hairy-
We need to up gun our defense forces should this get out of hand-

Lanolinland has confiscated the silver bullets found when shittimstanians tried to poach our moas. It turns out they were lipsticks from Rubyland..some dodgy trade deal is going on between those two

So I have caught up on the real world news.
Jennymaesia is overtaking Mosestasia, which is good news for Rubyland. Maybe we can now knock down the wall that divides Rubyland from Mosestasia.
King of Mosestasia aka Elvis Parsley in currently in jail (till he manages to dig his way out again)
Shitimistan has a decent stock of lipstick missiles. I hope the Ruby red ones are not being used for war.
Lanolinland has a stockpile of Rubylands missiles. We will need to get them back immediately.
Rubyland has peace whilst the King is locked up. It will give us more time to perfect the art of lipstick applying.

If Rubyland wants lipstick missiles from Shittimistan it needs to happen quick, Hairy was told eating them prevents monkeypox, the current pestilence scam being perpetrated on the unwashed masses. They are going rather quick.....

I hope the Jennymaesian Lipstick Army are good swimmers, and that their lipstick is waterproof. Also, the good swimmers better be good climbers, else they won't be able to scale our wall (generously funded by Rubyland).

I decided to release Elvis from gaol, in order for him to lead the kindergarteners of the 105th to dig around the Mosestarian border all night. Suffice it to say, those children learned some important lessons about battle tactics and moats that evening.

Unfortunately, as the Mosestarian border was occupied to the very edge with its strategically place border kindergartens, we've had to annex some of Rubyland to accomplish our brand new moat. Our Fatherland is now as much an island nation as Lanolinland, only our island is better because we also have a wall.


Above: An artist's impression of Mosestaria's new moat (not to scale)

Please also ensure any invading personnel are not allergic to piranhas. Elvis spoke to one of his colleagues in the 104th, whose students were conducting experiments on man-eating fish, and they've generously donated their ample stocks of the ferocious, aquatic carnivores to the cause of Mosestaria and replenishment of life in the moat.

Oh! The Humanity!

Oh dear, fren'. I suspect you are suffering a severe case of the monkey pox. Did you by any chance, visit Rubyland or Jennymaesia in the past 48 hours?

Rubyland is glad that Mosestasia has broken off from our land. So many of our things disappeared and mysteriously appeared in Mosestaria. Something fishy going on, now I know why. It is surrounded by piranhas!!

Also glad Mosestaria has broken off as there was always this Elvis music playing 24hrs a day. Made it hard to sleep.
Are you sure King Moses, that diagram above is not to scale. Seems like the size of Mosestasia to me?

Actually, Madame President, we Mosestarians like to think that it is Rubyland which has been strategically pruned from our land. Mosestarians have long viewed Rubyland as the perpetual veruca atop Mosestaria's magnificent nose, which we have now finally purged of all imperfections.

And you'll be pleased to know that Elvis Parsley is allergic to piranhas, and hence was sadly stranded on the Rubyland side of the moat. However, this was a sacrifice that Mosestaria was prepared to make. He will continually remind Rubylanders of our Mosestarian way of life, helping you not to succumb to sleep and laziness with his continual singing and wailing.

Finally, Mosestaria is significantly larger than you give it credit for! The artist who painted that picture was actually a Rubylander who was trying to make Mosestaria look embarrassingly small and pathetic! If Mosestaria were so tiny, why, we'd probably have the same kind of reputation as some of those other weak countries, such as Lanolinland, out in the middle of the ocean where no one can find it, or Jennymaesia, whose military are more focused on lipstick than they are on militarisation.

King Moses you are dreaming. Rubyland built the great wall to divide the two countries. The weight of the wall was so great it actually chopped the land into two bits. Three quarters was the section of Rubyland and one quarter Mosestaria.
Rubyland was blessed with the section that grows the produce and is filled with rubies and other precious gems. Mosestaria is the section where we dumped the car tyres lol.

The great wall of Mosestaria was actually built by Mosestarians, to keep out the cats! Although it was hoped that this wall would also trim away the useless surrounding bits of land known as Rubyland, the wall was unfortunately not sharp enough, and Rubyland remained an obnoxious, unwelcome appendage grifted onto the otherwise majestic body of Mosestaria.

Sure, Rubyland is full of rubies - that's because it's where Mosestaria conducts its mining operations. Sure, Mosestaria is filled with car tyres - that's because they're attached to the cars we are driving!

You might think Rubyland is bigger than Mosestaria because it surrounds us. However, it's actually only a very thin strip of land that doesn't consist of very much more than a border. Mosestarian surveyors have estimated that Rubyland comprises only about 10% of the area of Mosestaria. International experts unanimously agree that were Mosestaria to eradicate Rubyland entirely and replace with a gloriously large moat around Mosestaria, the world would become a better place.

In a humanitarian gesture of goodwill that peace may abound, Hairy has begun a genetic manipulation project turning piranha into toothless piranha and is releasing them to mix with the toothed type that don't play well with others, some it will be safe to swim in the previously dangerous waters surrounding Mosesteria, and Mosesteria will have a great new protein source for export.
Plus Hairy needed something to do to keep him out of the lipstick missile inventory.