"Not Physically Attracted Enough" - Vs - "Friendship that Catches Fire"

I had clay, but sometimes it went hard and you couldnt mould it, but with slime, its goopy and doesn thave any shape but you can always squish it. You cant BREAK slime.

"Not Physically Attracted Enough" - Vs - "Friendship that Catches Fire"
Thoughts?

What's your take on Play Doh?

What's your take on Play Doh?

"Not Physically Attracted Enough" - Vs - "Friendship that Catches Fire"

I recently started a relationship with a good christian woman who gave me her contact info. We've communicated via text and have gotten to know each other for a few months. We went out on two dates. (I know they we dates, cause I paid for them. )

I definitely like her as a person, and a friend, although we didn't have such a fun time that I'm inspired to hangout with her again. The physical attraction isn't there for me, so I decided I should stop asking her out... beyond friendly chats.

Although I didn't find her physically attractive upfront, I didn't want to jump to conclusions, and wanted to spend some time with her to see if that might change. I would assume people do that, especially women, because they get asked out. What's your experience? What's your advice?


What's your thoughts on "dating" people you're not physically attracted to?

1. It was suggested to me that I go out with, and get to know women, I'm not immediately physically attracted to because a physical attraction -- or some other kind of attraction -- might occur in the future. What's your thoughts on that? Has it ever happened to you?


I've heard a number of christian speakers talk about: "Love is when friendship catches fire!"

When I hear these messages, I roll my eyes. I'd like to go up front and ask them, "Is this YOUR personal experience? When you met your wife, did you first think she was ugly as sin, but then after you knew her for a while, then BAM you fell in love, and now you can't keep your hands off her?"

It's one thing to become particularly physically attracted someone after you've known them for a while... like if you're part of the same group or organization; it's another thing to date someone you definitely do not find physically attractive, and then that changes. I think former happens sometimes, but I doubt the latter does.

That is to say: I think there may be someone you didn't really "think about" as 'your type', or someone you didn't particularly find attractive at first, or someone who annoyed you, and then after you got to know them overtime you then "noticed" they WERE particularly attractive to you. That's more like going from "neutral", "absent minded", or annoyed to physically attracted... as opposed to 'definitely not physically attracted' to a "friendship catching on fire".

There's also the risk of leading someone on when it's 99% assured romantic love is not going to happen.

2. Different for Women?
Experientially, I've found the situation is generally different for women. My mother told me she went out with guys she didn't find physically attractive just go out and have some fun. When the guys asked her about it, she'd have to admit she was using them (though she didn't describe that way, she acknowledged it was wrong and cruel). Also, since men ask out women, a woman may not have given it (him) much thought and wants to be open-minded about it, or doesn't want to hurt the man's feelings, or she's just 'hedging her bets'... that is, she wants to keep some "second choices" and "better-than-nothing choices" in play while she's waiting to see if her Prince ever arrives. Additionally, before women were welcomed in the workplace, some women dated and married based mostly on the 'life the husband could provide her' rather than if she was physically attracted to him. I suppose if she loves and stays faithfully married to him, it's fine. Thoughts?

Ive heard a number of christian speakers talk about how love (a love relationship between a man and a woman) is when a "friendship catches fire"... "catches fire" means becomes romantic and/or they become physically attracted to each other.

My aunt gave me a cassette tape of one of these presentations once.

They are suggesting the "best love relationship", or the "best way to find a spouse", is when you become friends first, and then




I think with OP is problem is the lass is not attracted to him rather than hes not attracted to her.

so the solution is the OP needs to attach some magnets to his body and learn how to have more fun on dates


I mean nobody asked what they actually DID on those dates
Did they just sit around in a restaurant eating and talking? For most women, thats kinda boring. Especially if all the guy does is talk about himself and proceeds to stuff his face
Or did they go bungee jumping or something?

Extremely salty but very filling....Oh, and fun for the kids.

"Not Physically Attracted Enough" - Vs - "Friendship that Catches Fire"

I recently started a relationship with a good christian woman who gave me her contact info. We've communicated via text and have gotten to know each other for a few months. We went out on two dates. (I know they we dates, cause I paid for them. )

I definitely like her as a person, and a friend, although we didn't have such a fun time that I'm inspired to hangout with her again. The physical attraction isn't there for me, so I decided I should stop asking her out... beyond friendly chats.

Although I didn't find her physically attractive upfront, I didn't want to jump to conclusions, and wanted to spend some time with her to see if that might change. I would assume people do that, especially women, because they get asked out. What's your experience? What's your advice?


What's your thoughts on "dating" people you're not physically attracted to?

1. It was suggested to me that I go out with, and get to know women, I'm not immediately physically attracted to because a physical attraction -- or some other kind of attraction -- might occur in the future. What's your thoughts on that? Has it ever happened to you?


I've heard a number of christian speakers talk about: "Love is when friendship catches fire!"

When I hear these messages, I roll my eyes. I'd like to go up front and ask them, "Is this YOUR personal experience? When you met your wife, did you first think she was ugly as sin, but then after you knew her for a while, then BAM you fell in love, and now you can't keep your hands off her?"

It's one thing to become particularly physically attracted someone after you've known them for a while... like if you're part of the same group or organization; it's another thing to date someone you definitely do not find physically attractive, and then that changes. I think former happens sometimes, but I doubt the latter does.

That is to say: I think there may be someone you didn't really "think about" as 'your type', or someone you didn't particularly find attractive at first, or someone who annoyed you, and then after you got to know them overtime you then "noticed" they WERE particularly attractive to you. That's more like going from "neutral", "absent minded", or annoyed to physically attracted... as opposed to 'definitely not physically attracted' to a "friendship catching on fire".

There's also the risk of leading someone on when it's 99% assured romantic love is not going to happen.

2. Different for Women?
Experientially, I've found the situation is generally different for women. My mother told me she went out with guys she didn't find physically attractive just go out and have some fun. When the guys asked her about it, she'd have to admit she was using them (though she didn't describe that way, she acknowledged it was wrong and cruel). Also, since men ask out women, a woman may not have given it (him) much thought and wants to be open-minded about it, or doesn't want to hurt the man's feelings, or she's just 'hedging her bets'... that is, she wants to keep some "second choices" and "better-than-nothing choices" in play while she's waiting to see if her Prince ever arrives. Additionally, before women were welcomed in the workplace, some women dated and married based mostly on the 'life the husband could provide her' rather than if she was physically attracted to him. I suppose if she loves and stays faithfully married to him, it's fine. Thoughts?

I probably see marriage far differently than most. I don't believe in dating per se, and certainly not to "have fun".

My husband never so much as held my hand prior to marriage, and the first time he ever even touched me was when we were walking into the courthouse to get our marriage license, and then he drew tiny circles on my back with his finger.

I'm not sure I had physical attraction at all prior to marriage - but I did love him deeply as a person.

The physical attraction came after marriage.

Nursing an infant releases hormones that create a bond between mother and child. Those same hormones are released with orgasm, and likewise creates a bond between the spouses.

Is the physical a consideration? Maybe, but I don't know what role it really plays. So many people confuse lust with love, or the potential for it but that's not the same, or in my own eyes not that important; we are wonderfully made and when we follow God's plan for us we find happiness.

When you truly love a person you will want the physical during marriage, I believe. It certainly has been in my experience.

Hopefully she is on this site and can give her version of events 🤣

I doubt I can give a helpful answer here lol as Ive never been on a date but Ive been married.
How would you date someone not physically attractive enough?

Im one of those people that find it hard to see people as unattractive. Theres always one thing that I zone in on that I like.

Sculpt what is your idea of physical attractiveness?

Do you have a biblical character or celebrity lol in mind?

Nope, she's not on this site. Did you read the OP (original post), or are you just posting based on the thread title?


You call or message them and say, "Hey, Brandy, want to go out to dinner this Saturday?" Why do you ask? Are you aware of some special regulations or forms to fill out? = p


You're a lucky man. You want to date/marry every woman on earth... Only marital status, state law' restrictions on age, and omnipresence are preventing you?


What's my "idea" of physical attractiveness? On an individual basis: it's subjective what any individual would find physically (sexually) attractive. Don't you think?


Well, I don't think I could trust any of the illustrated depictions in the Bible Picture Book. Plus, I think they're all now deceased. Nope, I don't have any celebrities in mind. I prefer to be surprised. I want an original. Everybody looks different to me, even identical twins.

Comment 2 - I meant if you base attraction and dating on the physical looks, then how or why would you even ask someone who is not attractive to you out on a date? Hence why I said is it a date where you dont see each other before said date.