Court me, Court me Not..

In my culture, women ask the men sometimes, but they prefer to be asked to marry them. At least in my limited experience.

Yes I literally am a widow, my first and second husband are way above ground in Heaven🙏

Well there are some confident men on this site who can balance a womans shyness. Only problem is they seem to be hanging out in the other forums🤣

Ugh.... I am sorry. Well, not for his presence in Heaven, but you know what I mean.

Sadly I stuffed up . It in Gods hands .

Honestly probably a lot. The one thing my husband and I have is good communication, but I still drop hints my husband doesn't catch because, well, it's my nature.

In all this communication/drop hints/more communication stuff, my husband now realizes he's had a lot of interested women he didn't realize at the time were interested in him.

So, you'll have to wait for the woman who will hand you constant engraved invitations... Haha. Because of you're anything like mine you'll never take a hint... Ha

This is my third time through here, and, off the top of my head, I'd say that there have probably only been three (maybe four) women who I've encountered here that I was ever truly attracted to or truly interested in.

In every case, I waited to see if the woman was similarly attracted to me before "making my move"...although I really don't like that terminology. I'd rather say "before showing her a side of me that others here haven't seen".

It's definitely not a matter of timidity or fear of rejection with me. Instead, I truly am a respectful gentleman when it comes to such matters, and I also totally believe in mutual consent or desire. In other words, if I don't sense that someone likes me, then I'll just suppress any feelings for them that I might have rather than to potentially put any unwanted pressure on them or to somehow make them feel uncomfortable.

I came close to meeting one woman here in person, but we ultimately decided against that. She and I are still friends.

With another, the more that I learned about her, the more my interest in her dwindled. In other words, I perceived that she wasn't really who I initially thought she was.

With the last one, there were different variables involved, but the biggest was that she didn't communicate effectively enough to me. I didn't know how to take that, so I just backed away completely. This last one makes me sad because I would have liked to retain her as a friend for life.

Anyhow, the woman here that I'm the closest to is a totally platonic friend. She's married, but I think the world of her (in a respectful way and not in a coveting my neighbor's wife sort of way).

That's about all I've got to say except that life is short.

If you're interested in somebody here, then let them know somehow.

There's nothing worse than regrets or one of those "What if...?" types of lives.

You've got to be in it to win it...

Could you say that a little louder please? There might be some woman here who needs to get the hint that I'll never take a hint.

er, why dont you just say

I am interested in shacking up with you. Are you interested in shacking up with me? And then go from there. Just make it real obvious. Dont beat around the bush.

if they say no, its ok, respect that. Find someone else.
I mean, do it in a christian way of course. Is this too hard to do?

Otherwise, knowing someone is not necessarily meaning you want to marry them. Some things you'd rather NOT know. I am not a mind reader and I dont expect a man to know everything thats on my mind. Actually that would a bit scary, as would be knowing EVERYTHING a man thinks.

Being singleminded, being CHRISTminded is the object here.

If you want to lose your freedom, your autonomy, then sure... get married. Capture and cage someone. But dont be surprised if one day they change their mind and want out. Or lie, say they are happy, when they arent and start secretly seeing someone else...or leave. People call it the honeymoon period for a reason and then reality hits. Marriage is work. Children are work. Being responsible for a home is a lot of work. Juggling finances is work. Accepting another person for who they are and not trying to control or change them required a lot of patience and a higher form of love.

In marriage. one person has to leave everything behind to be with soomeone else. Is it going to be YOU? Are you the one stacking the dishes in your glory box ready for the big move?

I think it was Ruth who famously said 'where you go I will go, your God will be my God and where you are buried I will be buried' but she was a widow and said that to her mother in law, Naomi, NOT Boaz way before he was even considering courting her..she had not even met him yet.

Naomi had to cajole Ruth and get her to cover Boaz feet because he wasnt necessarily going to make the first move. Plus, he let someone else throw their shoe in before confirming that he wanted to marry her.

if you want to be someone I think you have to decide first that is what you will do. And be prepared to make the choice. Also, that person may NOT want to be with you and change their mind or they may elready be engaged or have others courting them as well. But if you are truly happy as you are, then dont be contrary and then complain about your situation.

Naomi, btw was a bit hard case. She was like 'whos going to marry me and have sons, I am too old. But Ruth you are young you can do it. '

It was kind of like Naomi actually wanted to marry Boaz but was vicariously having her grandchild through Ruth. and of course the baby turned out to be a BOY as it seems they always do. Heaven help them if the firstborn was a GIRL.

girls didnt count for anything in Jewish lineage. And that is like that in a lot of cultures.

But you've got such an itchy trigger finger on that flamethrower of yours. It would take a brave woman indeed to do more than hint, or a fireproof one.

Truer words have rarely been said.

The flamethrower is for third party, meddlesome matchmakers. Backtrack my posts and you'll see I only dig it out of the closet when people try to pair me up with other people.

Sure, sure...... I'll just go and remind my friend of that. Maybe she'll be willing to meet you after all

Yeah right. He whips out that flame gun at all sorts of various times and situations.

For sure.

I will take that under advisement.

I've been scorched a couple three times myself.

Between tourist and Sculpt, I get the impression somebody else has been bad-mouthing me behind the scenes...