I need counsel!!! Is love wrong between friends and family?

Why does The Bible not say that you cannot be in love with your friends and family members? / Is there a difference between love and sex? / What kinds of physical affection are meant to be sexual? And what kinds are meant to be love?
I already believe that there are two different kinds of hugs: an agape hug (a gesture that you care); and a hug that feels like two hearts becoming one heart, that is deeply spiritual, and that feels like what I would imagine falling in love to feel like; are both kinds good between friends and family? And what about kissing on the mouth? Is it part of sex? Or is it part of love? The Bible practically encourages kissing between brothers and sisters in Christ, in 1 Peter 5:14 and other places, but nowhere does it specify that you cannot kiss friends and family on the mouth. The only thing I could find is in proverbs, where it warns against kissing strange women (women you don't know, or women who clearly have sexual intentions).
If I have access to all knowledge that pertains to life and godliness, 2 Peter 1:3, why am I so confused? If love is wrong, why does The Bible not say so?
I know that The Bible says that sex is wrong outside of the marriage of one adult man and one adult women, but it does not say that love is sexual or wrong between anyone.
I am asking these questions because I feel like people have confused the difference between love and sex; and I believe that the true enemy is capable of making good things look bad in order to set the forces of light against each other. I am worried that homosexuality exists, not only because of sin, but also because of deceptions about the difference between love and sex.
I have no experience in these matters, I have never kissed anyone, I have never even been in love. The love I have for my friends and family is a very stoic agape love.
I am trying to get council from other Christians; I would appreciate input from anyone, but if you reply to this please let me know if you are "born again," your opinions will, quite honestly, hold more weight to me if you are truly saved.

Not really sure if there are many members on this site that are confused about the difference between love and sex. The kissing mentioned in the bible is in reference to the culture and traditions at the time, and in regard to particularly greetings. Glad to have you onboard with us. Welcome to CC.

This isn’t the best place to find your answers, many false Christians here. Find a biblical church and ask the elders.

Who said "love is wrong" unless someone crosses the line and brings sexuality into a relationship where it does not belong? So yes there are different kinds of love, and agape love extends to both friends, family, and the whole world. God so loved (with agape love) the whole world (which consists of sinners and evildoers) that He sent His only begotten Son. That is because GOD IS LOVE.

You have the response, the major reason..........sex is not love otherwise it would exist in the Kingdom, and it does not.

The world confuses lust ,love and sex. The Scriptures are clear on the three . Sex and that kind of love belong in marriage , Love between friends is good . Lust in sin, Born again believer Jesus Christ is King Lord Saviour etc

once you have what you have explained out of the way, it boils down to morals. if your morals align with God, then you will refrain from sex until marriage. if your morals change from day to day, then it's pretty clear what will be happening.

There are certainly degrees of love, and therefore also different expressions of love. As long as your expression of love is appropriate to the relationship there is no problem.
Hugs and kisses are among those expressions, but there are degrees of hugs and kisses as well. There are hugs and kisses that are sexual in nature and therefore should be between spouses, and there are hugs and kisses appropriate between friends. You must have your own personal boundaries and you must respect others personal boundies.
I dont know what you are trying to figure out exactly. The nature of the relationship should dictate the level and liberty taken in expressing love.

Whatever love exists in most churches seems stoic, it does not take initiative to reach out to other people; there is only kindness when there needs to be; it seems that love has been reduced to little more than being polite. I feel like even my family members are only acquaintances; they are honorable, and they make sacrifices to serve The Lord, but being around them only makes me feel more lonely.
I know that I fail as much as anyone else in showing love on a personal level, and engaging in personal conversations, and getting to the root of how people truly feel from day to day, and finding out what they truly love; but I see almost no examples of this in The Church.
I know that feelings are not as important as actions, but the exchange of love in my life feels like little more than an exchange of favors; it feels like a business relationship.
I'm convinced that something important is missing from every church I have ever been to. Either agape love barely exists, or the church needs another kind of love: what about Philadelphia love in Romans 12:10?
I know that there are different cultures in different places at different times that determine what is and is not appropriate, but what if the culture is the problem? I believe the culture of the Christian Church should look completely different from the culture of the world, especially considering how dark the world is these days.
I prefer to judge things based on The Bible rather than what the culture says, and I prefer to judge the heart more than physical actions, so I still have questions...
Is it wrong to be in love with your friends and family?
Is it wrong for men to soften their hearts toward each other?
Why is it awkward for men to look into each other's eyes for more than three seconds?

Thank you everyone for your feedback; I know these might be hard questions to answer; please do your best.

Five Greek words for "Love"

Read on:

There are no equal translations of the word "love" into English that are going to be accurate. Because there are many types of love referenced and commanded in scriptures but only one word in English to cover them all.

Natural love. This is the normal love of a parent has for their child.

Brotherly love....the type of love between siblings. Never with sexual connotations as the Westermark effect prohibits this sort of behavior.

Friendship love. The type of love you have for members of the community you live within. This can be a close friendship to just well wishes of people who live in your city.

Romantic love. The type of love that is specifically reserved for husbands and wives. In scripture, polygamy was common as women in general were considered a HALF step above property.

Agape love or Godly love. A unique type of love that God has for us and is capable of. It is described in 1 Corinthians 13.


Sex is not love. Never has been and never will be. Forget the crap displayed in the movies and television....it's no where near correct.
When a man and woman share emotional and intellectual intimate feelings and thoughts and are united in these things they then share their bodies with each other. This is what marriage is about. Sex is not just a group activity for two people who find each other attractive physically and are friends. Physical intimacy causes a whole litany of emotional and mental changes within a person. When Reserved exclusively for marriage it will be unique and special and a glue that helps unite a couple. It also will grease the skids for getting along better when things get difficult.

In the Genesis account...the act of sex is one where the men "give their seed" to women. (Very different world back then)
Children were considered a blessing and not an ongoing expense and an expensive luxury item. Nor were they considered an accident requiring extra responsibilities from having unprotected sex.
Children were a woman's retirement program for when they became too old.
Not like today, when Children leave home these days they blame parents for every slight real or imagined but have the Netflix password memorized...and expect parents to keep paying for it and other expenses they utilize.

With all the various viruses and diseases possible....
Do not kiss me! Handshaking is scary enough.

And I don't want Judas to kiss me either.

in the o.t. book of Leviticus, there is info on sexual relations with relatives. also, in the n.t. too. IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN. God has put into us His laws into our minds & wrote them in our hearts to understand what is proper. (Hebrews 8:10). i have a cousin who i always thought is pretty but that's as far as it will ever get. there is nothing wrong in thinking your female cousin is pretty & beautiful. huge difference between love & sex! too much to get into here. 2 guys will hug each other in a moment of extreme instance. example: rescue from a car accident long term care after a hospital stay, etc. as in brotherly love shown in a big needful way. 2 women also hug each other in this way. and there is missing each other if you have not seen someone for decades. i'm not the type to hug a male friend or family member in this way but i show love with words & action in deeds. & i'm not the type to even kiss a girl on the lips in a gesture of love, a hug yes. i always think that lip kissing is reserved for a g.f. or wife. yes, a holy kiss on the cheek, i think God says, is alright. i'm a rock drummer & had the chance to kiss 100's of women on the lips but didn't. (i'm a clean freak anyway). you almost contradicted yourself. ALL & ANY SEX OUTSIDE OF MARRIAGE IS SIN!!!! don't let the creepy modern day sexual beliefs & new ideas get into your head because politicians & the masses are pushing it!!! LISTEN TO GOD ONLY!!! why are you worried that homosexuality exists? it's not your issue. you didn't invent it. pray for those who are involved in it. i am a born again Christian since 1993.

Daniel, you need to connect to an elder in your area: someone who has walked with the Lord long enough that the grace of the Lord is seen in his own household.

There are many more Christians on this site than there are false Christians. In your estimation, what would be some of the traits that would exemplify a false Christian? Christian Chat is as good a resource as any that might provide meaningful spiritual counsel based on sound biblical principles. I can't really see this member actual asking a church elder about what is appropriate kissing in regard to certain types of relationships.

...Mary Magalene maybe. It's a thought anyways.

Not really....for me:
Just a very few women are allowed to have hugs...and that's about it.

I love my wife...I'll hold her hand, give hugs and kisses...some PDA but not a lot....otherwise it's left for the house...but her I don't mind or feel squeamish about whatsoever.

If you are wondering what bibical love is it is found in the attitude of a servant. Jesus the best example of this.
Love for the father and love for his people. Because of his love for the father he loves his people.
The passion CHRIST had for the father was not expressed in the physical but the need to fill the gap per say to that which would bring a everlasting joy and life to the lost. Looking only for the father to be glorified through him.

Physical expressions of love can have many meanings even to the point of deception.
One that truly loves esteems all others above their self and serves what needs they can without reguard to reciprocation. With no respect of persons.
For while we were yet sinners CHRIST died for us.
For the glory that was set before him he endured the cross.

Thank you for your reply. Believe me, I'm trying to model my life after Jesus, but even Jesus seemed to desire physical affection with other men in a way that most people these days would call gay: John 13: 23 and Luke 7:45. I believe that physical affection is immensely spiritual, and it is not something that we should allow to become inappropriate in The Church.
There are a lot of people whose love language is physical affection, and when Christians say that it's inappropriate because the culture considers it sexual, it makes me think that a lot of unmarried people have no hope of feeling loved without turning to sexuality. I think that people are more likely to turn to sexual immorality when there is no clear difference between that and physical affection. I'm not a psychologist, it just seems obvious to me.

I would rather spend 4 hours baking and icing a cake for a guy than give him a 15 second hug....just saying.