I want a husband who’s a full provider and protects me

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Sep 25, 2023
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#1
And is very gentle with me. I’m very shy and scared and socially anxious. im I’m my twenties.
Please share your thoughts or prayers thank you
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
15,101
4,660
113
#2
And is very gentle with me. I’m very shy and scared and socially anxious. im I’m my twenties.
Please share your thoughts or prayers thank you
Hi Missy,

Welcome to the forum.

I was just wondering:

* What do you have to offer a future husband in return for provision and protection?
* What does your life look like now? (What preparations are you making?)
* What plans do you have (work, school, etc.) while you're waiting/prepping to get married?

I ask as someone who once thought she would get married early and stay married forever like the others in her family, but unfortunately, it didn't go that way -- and the result was God teaching me to build a life on my own.

I wish you all the best and may God lead your path. :)

Keep us posted on how things go!
 

melita916

Senior Member
Aug 12, 2011
10,418
2,660
113
#3
Hi, Missy!

I understand the desire to have a husband. I wanted to encourage you and remind you that you always have purpose whether as a single or married. The Lord uses us in any season in life ❤️

What are some things you enjoy doing?
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
25,253
8,322
113
#4
And is very gentle with me. I’m very shy and scared and socially anxious. im I’m my twenties.
Please share your thoughts or prayers thank you
Too bad you are in your twenties. I like to stay at home more than I like to go out. If you were closer to my age we would make a great, boring, fuddy-duddy couple.
 

Pipp

Majestic Llamacorn
Sep 17, 2013
5,536
2,703
113
Georgia
#5
And is very gentle with me. I’m very shy and scared and socially anxious. im I’m my twenties.
Please share your thoughts or prayers thank you
Nothing wrong at all with these desires. I hope that you and this Godly, protector, provider with gentle hands and heart find each other in His time ♡♡♡♡
 

seekingthemindofChrist

Casting down imaginations
Jul 10, 2023
1,178
570
113
#6
And is very gentle with me. I’m very shy and scared and socially anxious. im I’m my twenties.
Please share your thoughts or prayers thank you
My thoughts are that you are looking for the right things in a husband, so please do not ever settle for less.

According to what Paul wrote in Ephesians chapter 5, a husband ought to lay down his life for his wife as Christ laid down his life for the church. He also ought to gently nourish and cherish his wife as his own flesh, and to wash her with the water of God's word, or to help her in her walk of sanctification before the Lord.

I will say a prayer that God sends you such a man in the proper time.

In the interim, try to focus on your own walk with the Lord, and if you feel the call to be married some day, then you should also try to spend some time becoming the type of godly woman that a godly man would compliment. Marriage is a two-way street, and both parties need to do their respective parts in order for it to work.

I will also be praying for God to grant you his peace in order to overcome your anxiety.

God bless you.
 

seekingthemindofChrist

Casting down imaginations
Jul 10, 2023
1,178
570
113
#7
I’m very shy and scared and socially anxious.
Hi, again.

When it comes to anxiety, the root cause is oftentimes that we magnify our problems instead of magnifying God or recognizing how big and powerful he really is. I find that meditating on the latter part of Isaiah chapter 40 helps me to put things in their proper perspective, so I will share that here for your potential help.

Isaiah 40:12-31

"Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand, and meted out heaven with the span, and comprehended the dust of the earth in a measure, and weighed the mountains in scales, and the hills in a balance? Who has directed the Spirit of the LORD, or being his counselor has taught him? With whom took he counsel, and who instructed him, and taught him in the path of judgment, and taught him knowledge, and showed to him the way of understanding? Behold, the nations are as a drop of a bucket, and are counted as the small dust of the balance: behold, he takes up the isles as a very little thing. And Lebanon is not sufficient to burn, nor the beasts thereof sufficient for a burnt offering. All nations before him are as nothing; and they are counted to him less than nothing, and vanity. To whom then will you liken God? Or what likeness will you compare unto him? The workman melts a graven image, and the goldsmith spreads it over with gold, and casts silver chains. He that is so impoverished that he has no oblation chooses a tree that will not rot; he seeks unto him a cunning workman to prepare a graven image, that shall not be moved. Have you not known? Have you not heard? Has it not been told you from the beginning? Have you not understood from the foundations of the earth? It is he that sits upon the circle of the earth, and the inhabitants thereof are as grasshoppers; that stretches out the heavens as a curtain, and spreads them out as a tent to dwell in: That brings the princes to nothing; he makes the judges of the earth as vanity. Yea, they shall not be planted; yea, they shall not be sown: yea, their stock shall not take root in the earth: and he shall also blow upon them, and they shall wither, and the whirlwind shall take them away as stubble. To whom then will you liken me, or shall I be equal? says the Holy One. Lift up your eyes on high, and behold who has created these things, that brings out their host by number: he calls them all by names by the greatness of his might, for that he is strong in power; not one fails. Why say you, O Jacob, and speak, O Israel, My way is hidden from the LORD, and my judgment is passed over from my God? Have you not known? Have you not heard, that the everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth, faints not, neither is weary? There is no searching of his understanding. He gives power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increases strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."

You are in my prayers.

Philippians 4:6-7

"Be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,405
16,346
113
69
Tennessee
#8
And is very gentle with me. I’m very shy and scared and socially anxious. im I’m my twenties.
Please share your thoughts or prayers thank you
I wish all of God's best in finding a suitable husband for you. Glad to have you join our community. Welcome to CC.
 

Karlon

Well-known member
Mar 8, 2023
1,978
827
113
#9
And is very gentle with me. I’m very shy and scared and socially anxious. im I’m my twenties.
Please share your thoughts or prayers thank you
you didn't say if you are a born again Christian. if not, become 1 immediately. it's the best way to have all & any problems removed by the Lord Jesus. read Psalm 34:15 "... His ears are open to your cries.....", John 14:13,14 ......whatsoever you ask, that will i do......" John 3:33, ..... I will show you great & mighty things". recognize that the devil wants you in your problems. James 4:7 ....RESIST the devil & he will flee from you". for shyness, practice looking at the people you are talking to more in the eyes with a feeling of confidence, a smile, a Jesus attitude, security & great intent. i will pray for you.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,178
113
#10
What? I nearly adopted a cat called Missy but she already went to a good home.
 

kinda

Senior Member
Jun 26, 2013
3,727
1,452
113
#11
Dream, dream-dream-dream.

Well, of course it’s possible.

Usually rich guys who are single want a trophy wife, but if age isn’t a factor, maybe you can find a rich man on his second or third marriage. This is most likely out of the question with younger ladies. I’m not recommending either scenario though.

I say, your chances are good if you look like Barbie, if not maybe you can find a good job and meet an average man, who is looking for a partner.

It looks like the top 5% of men are in demand, so you will have a ton of competition with other ladies looking for the “perfect man.”

Now things are changing in the relationship world. Marriage rates are down with jewelry stores going bankrupt. Men are realizing the divorce rates are too high to commit, and woman are generally raising the bar of expectations, so this is leading to increased levels of unmarried people.

I actually talked to happily married woman who works and makes a good living, she recommended marrying your best friend. Of course it has to make financial sense, but I hope these comments help.

Personally, I think marriage is for other people, because I see to many downsides.

Good luck!
 

Gojira

Well-known member
Jul 20, 2021
5,785
2,330
113
Mesa, AZ
#12
you didn't say if you are a born again Christian. if not, become 1 immediately. it's the best way to have all & any problems removed by the Lord Jesus. read Psalm 34:15 "... His ears are open to your cries.....", John 14:13,14 ......whatsoever you ask, that will i do......" John 3:33, ..... I will show you great & mighty things". recognize that the devil wants you in your problems. James 4:7 ....RESIST the devil & he will flee from you". for shyness, practice looking at the people you are talking to more in the eyes with a feeling of confidence, a smile, a Jesus attitude, security & great intent. i will pray for you.
Some problems persist for years, if they're ever removed. Jesus doesn't promise us a problem-free life. I speak from experience, and quite a bit over the past 14 years.
 

melita916

Senior Member
Aug 12, 2011
10,418
2,660
113
#13
I married my best friend. We were friends for 7 months before we became a couple. As for the material things, we both had everything we needed. Together we were able to accumulate a little more. Now, we are down to 1 income, and we have seen God’s faithfulness daily.
 

Karlon

Well-known member
Mar 8, 2023
1,978
827
113
#14
Some problems persist for years, if they're ever removed. Jesus doesn't promise us a problem-free life. I speak from experience, and quite a bit over the past 14 years.
true! but being a born again Christian is the best way to live no matter what!
 

MsMediator

Well-known member
Mar 8, 2022
980
629
93
#15
And is very gentle with me. I’m very shy and scared and socially anxious. im I’m my twenties.
Please share your thoughts or prayers thank you
You sound very needy, which is not healthy. It is time for you to be your own person, and conquer some of your fears. Your future husband likely doesn't want to baby you all the time.
 

Gojira

Well-known member
Jul 20, 2021
5,785
2,330
113
Mesa, AZ
#16
true! but being a born again Christian is the best way to live no matter what!
Doesn't always feel that way. But, because there's no place else to go, I don't give up. I refuse to exchange 35 years for an eternity. I can be stupid, but I refuse to be so monstrously foolish.
 

2ndTimeIsTheCharm

Well-known member
Feb 17, 2023
1,446
760
113
#17
You sound very needy, which is not healthy. It is time for you to be your own person, and conquer some of your fears. Your future husband likely doesn't want to baby you all the time.

I agree with this post. I hope the OP takes it well - it is just tough love from a Christian sister who wants the best for you, @Missgirlygirl.

I also want to caution @Missgirlygirl to make sure that your future husband is not a control freak/manipulator who will start out appearing caring and gentle like you want but then turns out to be monster who takes away your freedoms. I will pray for God to protect you and give you discernment as you search for this husband you want.


🎡
 

seekingthemindofChrist

Casting down imaginations
Jul 10, 2023
1,178
570
113
#19
I am just looking for new heavens and a new earth wherein dwells righteousness (2 Peter 3:13).

I am apparently too different from other men, and I have totally given up on ever finding a woman who would appreciate me for who I truly am.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,178
113
#20
I am just looking for new heavens and a new earth wherein dwells righteousness (2 Peter 3:13).

I am apparently too different from other men, and I have totally given up on ever finding a woman who would appreciate me for who I truly am.
@MissyM will appreciate you! Go on.