the past

would you doit all again like thomas in the circle or just stay how you are now? or would you change something? and what? was your life worth living, heartbreaks llosses and all? or would you change something? if not what could happen to change your mind?

is there anythi g that could happen that would make your life no longer worth living?

Hi Enril!

The question of what would we change if we could go back seems to be a cultural staple. I guess part of being human is to always long to try to go back and "fix" things -- like resetting a video game but presumably with the knowledge we have now, since hindsight is always 20/20.

If I could go back but wasn't allowed to remember how things had turned out, I'm pretty sure I would make the same old dumb decisions. In fact, I might even make worse decisions the next time -- and I'm sure this must be part of why God doesn't allow resets in this life.

I'm often a big fan of time travel storylines, as much as they can turn your brain into a pretzel, but I'm especially drawn to the ones in which people go back in time to try to make things better. But even though they know how things turn out and try as hard as they might, it usually winds up somehow making things worse. Either their life gets better -- but someone else suffers -- or they wind up suffering more, but perhaps this makes things better for someone else -- even if it's the wrong people (allowing an evil person to do even more evil, etc.) I'm pretty sure if it were actually possible to do this, it would literally drive people insane.

I go through bouts of depression in which I'm very regretful about decisions I made or how I chose to handle various situations. I remember one particular time of wallowing and God clearly told me, "I didn't make you to be miserable. Now GET UP!"

Someone once told me, "It's ok to look back -- just don't stop and keep staring at the past." I know that for me, I sometimes dwell too much on the past and God is always pushing me to move forward instead. I do try to learn from the past and make better decisions in the present. For example, one of my regrets is how I've handled anger but God has told me, "Sometimes, I use your anger to protect you, and to keep you away from people who would be harmful to you."

This was not an excuse. This was God telling me, "If you find yourself getting angry like that again, pay attention to why and who's making you feel that way. It could be a clue that you should have never started talking to that person to begin with." In other words, He tells me to take responsibility and make better choices.

Just a few days ago I said something that I immediately knew was a remnant of my old self, and is causing me to re-evaluate.

As for what makes life seem to not be worth living... A lot of things. When God chooses to call a young person home whose family depends on them and not an older person who has lived a fulfilling life but now suffers with daily, crippling pain, I never understand God's reasoning. I don't want to outlive my mobility or able to take care of myself in this life, but I know that's not my decision to make.

My whole life, people have told me how wonderful and perfect it will be when we get to be with Jesus. Therefore, my whole life, I've always felt it would be ideal to get home to Jesus as soon as possible.

When my Grandma died, my Grandpa tearfully said, "With her gone, there's no reason for me to live, either." They had literally never been apart, as they'd grown up in the same one-room school in their small, farming town. But live on he did, and for many more years after her.

I think about this often when I sometimes encounter people who pity me and speak down to me because I'm single and they are married. A part of my heart feels sorry for them, because in a way, I already went through a sorrow that will most likely come to at least one of every married couple. When my husband left, I told God there was no reason for me to go on, especially since he already had someone else he was going on with. But God had other plans for me, even though I still feel often feel there was no further reason for me to go on.

I told my Grandpa that at least he knew my Grandma died loving him. I kept it to myself that it's very much a living form of death to know that the one you love isn't there -- because they choose to love someone else. But if I marry again and find myself a widow, I've already learned how to be single. I feel a lot of sorrow for the marrieds who are left behind and will have to learn that lesson as well, as I am seeing that happen to more and more of them, whether through divorce or death.

I don't know what God has planned for me. I do know that it's my job to trust, and obey.

But I also know that just waking up in the morning can feel like a burden so heavy that it's suffocating, and I guess part of why I'm still here is to try to help other people who are feeling the same way.

God bless you, @enril, and may He ever comfort you in your struggles. 🙏❤️✝️

Keep talking to us!

I suppose we ruminate so much over love dying because it is such a precious commodity in an otherwise world barren of it (I might even be considered a miracle that it happens at all). Yet, scripture tells us that love endures so, what are we 'not seeing' then if love, indeed, really never dies. Was the love we had only simulated and not real? I don't think so. Although it may have been quite brief, it budded, bloomed, and then faded and we have a remnant of it pressed between the pages of our book of life, a memory preserved forever of the once vibrant reality. And procuring a collection of these is worth the adventure that is life.

The only way for me to not make mistakes would be to never do anything.

If I had never made any mistakes I would never have learned anything. I would be pretty useless.

Some of those mistakes I made were pretty expensive, and not just in money. But if I learned something from them, it was worth the price.

Nope. Wouldn't change a thing.

That would be a mistake .

Look back just for lessons learned. don't tarry, move on with the learned lessons to build a better future. if not you may get stock in the past and miss the future. Let go of the past and open up to the future. that's my philosophy. I have had a lot of challenges but I believe tomorrow is gonna be better. I trust God will not let me down. I enjoyed every past relationships my only regret is they were sinful. They taught me a lot about me and about others. so I use that knowledge to better myself and to advise others. Some one said you never loved them. I did oh but I can't let their decision to quit ruin me. I am precious to God to let anything ruin me. my thoughts

Silence, thou picker of nits.

if i could, i would change my parents & where i lived as a kid. my life was worth living as of age 18. i would have liked to been born of born again Christian parents. my paternal grandmother i miss very much.

personally there is nothing i would change.
because all that has happened to me is woth it because i am me. i can point to a time and say i wish that had nolt happened. but then i will say but remember if id not done that id never have met you.
never have forged my deepest friendships. never have become my own self. after all... after the worst things in my past... ife as we know it is created aand shaped by them. i would not change anything if i could create my life to the finest detail. because for me the past was worth more than a million chances.

I believe that the ones that make the most mistakes are the ones that try the hardest to be a positive force in this troubled world.

I fully concur with your estimate.

Overcoming mistakes, by the grace of God, plays in important role in defining who we are and what we are about.

I wouldn't change a thing either.

you’re so famous wow

Great topic, @enril !

Most of my regrets have to do with things I didn't do but wished I had, rather than things I did but wish I hadn't. But thats just me, we are all different.

I think my biggest single regret is waiting so long to figure out my gifts and God's unique calling for me. I'm STILL figuring it out in my 40s lol 😆. An earlier start woulda been great. I spent the first 30+ years of my life trying to be anyone but me. ☹

lot's of you here on CC know of my highly abusive parents. if you had them as parents & could change them, you would too!

Thank You dear people. I will pick up some projects

what a great teaching lesson!!!!!!!!!!!! "be not problem pondering but solution solving"!

do not ask others to do something you would not do yourself.
or, dont just pray for reapers to reap the harvest. ask if you vcould be a reaper.

There are such things as flowers that smell like poop.

This is Valerian. They smell like sweaty socks.



In regard to them, the homesteadinghippy says,
"Also known as giant hogweed, this obnoxious and invasive plant has quickly become infamous because of its sheer toxicity
Hogweed is truly awful, releasing a phototoxic sap that will react with sunlight to cause severe skin irritation and blistering. It can even cause blindness!
Trust me, it’s as bad as it sounds but it also has several look-alikes that are just as dangerous – or even more so! A few imposters are innocent, but not many."

But there's a look-a-like, the Elderberry of which the hippy says,

"And while hogweed is very dangerous to touch, Elderberry is not, outside of a potential risk for mild topical irritation.
Also, I am happy to report those appealing berries are safe to eat when cooked and are often used in pies, jams, wines, and syrups.
Again, it’s essential to note that only the ripe, cooked berries are safe to consume:..."




I do wonder if these are otherwise called 'dingleberries.'

@Karlon
to identify elderberries from hogweed the hippy says:
"... check the flowers: Elderberry flowers turn into dark purple berries in late summer, which is a feature that hogweed does not share."

FWIW, you'd make a fine wine.

Hi miss Mem, just to clarify, (with all due respect to The Homesteading Hippy);

Giant Hogweed is not the same plant as Valerian. The flowers are somewhat similar but taxonomically they are not closely related.

Thank you for that correction @Snackersmom. Considering that there are so many look-a-likes with these particular characteristics including (I didn't look over all info the hippy offered since the site lagged so much on this low-capacity computer because of all extra the ads loading) wild garlic and my favorite licorice flavored sweet cicely.