Making ChristianChat a Safe Place

Viv, cases like this, I would (and this is just me) strongly suggest, to get a moderator involved. Well, first of all, have them report it to moderator. If they refused, or are too scared, get a moderator involved (3-way conversation, or BCC or CC a moderator). This is something that is supposed to be reported. Since she was too scared to do it, and has passed the responsibility to you (and you have accepted it), then get a moderator involved. No need to take matters into our own hands when there are authorities.

It is our responsibility to teach these people what to do, when they're clueless.

As for CC being a safe place. This is an internet forum. It can only be safe for us, as we want it to be. CC does make it easy for us to report forum posts, report offenders (that report button - in chat, however, would be helpful if that's also available).

Also, Yerava is right. If this was a kid, it is her parents responsibility to monitor their child. Again, let's not take matters into our hands. I know we're just trying to help, but there is order on how things should be done to be effective.

I completely agree with the op she has a good suggestion, it is very easy for ppl with dark intentions to come here and they sit around the forums looking for any kind of weakness and the prey on it, not just in cc but every online site. The thing is however in order for everyone to be protected then every pm would have to be visible to every mod and every private matter that say you and a close friend are talking about would no longer be private not to mention how many mads it would take to keep everyone in check. There are thousands of members in cc alone which means we would need thousands of mods to monitor everyone's pm and posts ect. It is literally impossible if you want your privacy

I have two daughters. To put this whole situation in context walking anywhere alone, the men they pass in the street often call out, make suggestions, want attention when they are obviously just going from one place to another. It creates a whole environment of domination and threat.

Now into this world, when you seek a place to share openly about things you care about, find men send you directly sexual explicit suggestions, this is 100% inappropriate and sinful. What makes it all the more threatening is the two parties are complete strangers, but some recipients are not aware no-one knows them, can get to them, has any way of being a part of their life other than suggesting something in appropriate. In normal life this level of annonimity is not possible, but to the recipient, they react as if some stranger had done this in the street.

And yes, 100%, this should not be happening here, at any level.

After being called non-christian while sharing some 100% biblical theology, and suggesting I am motivated by satan, was hard to take, but I have got used to this level of insanity, and abuse now. When it is about sexual things, I can understand how this could be 100% traumatic.

To those men who dismiss this, you are extremely ignorant how abusive normal life is, and how many things women have to deal with daily in everyday life going to work.

A culture of lust and psychological sexualisation

I worked with a man whose continual words were - do not judge me.
He looked at porn night and day, and talked about all the lustful ideas he thought about.
When travelling in a train, any female he met he tried to see her as a personal sexual gratification approach.

I did not quite believe him, until consistently over a 6 month period he did the same things. It was completely selfish and self obsessed, and any woman who had contact with him I would be worried about. It is hard for me as a dad to think guys like this are about, but it is actually far worse I am sure than we realise.

This is the fruit of the pornography industry and until this is properly recognised and the destructive nature it is having on society, things appear to just be getting worse.

Don't have to have any mods to monitor everyone's PM but my suggestion is having the system to be developed to alert the moderator when an inappropriate message had been sent out to another user.

so basically what nsa is doing? everyones emails and messages and posts everything online is constantly being monitored because they are looking for terrorists and they have certain words that they pay special attention to like obama terrorism and stuff that they may see as a threat to the united states. In the same way we could have a computer system here that is alerted to key words like cussing sexual words and other things that ppl are dealing with

Not really...each time a message is sent, the user will hit the Send button. Several methods can be done. An example would be, a program can be written "On click" of the Send button to run a check on the message. If there's some sexual implicit message found, an exit can occur - meaning, the program will stop the message from being sent to the user.

Yep.
Like those words, Blain.


If I were you, I'd run.

Go turn yourself in, Blain. Clearly, an inappropriate post that should trigger Big Brother's hunters.

At one time RoboOp was trying to make something like this work that would automatically post reported private messages from chat show up in the Mod Forums (just like reported posts and PM's from the forums do) but I think he ran into problems making it work since chat is custom programmed by him, but the forum side is off the shelf commercially available software.

The only problem with this is that there are a lot of words in the English language that context would dictate whether it is appropriate or not. It is entirely possible to be highly explicit and inappropriate without ever using a word that might trigger programming like this.

I can only reiterate, REPORT, REPORT, REPORT. Even in chat, PM's can be screen shot and sent to a Mod (if there are none in chat) via CC mail.

If this user had truly been harassed over a time frame to the point that they are scared to return then this site cannot be held responsible if that user never utilized the tools that are available to them.

Understood that. I'll speak to her again...

Good point, brother.

Whew! Because my mind went to what happens sometimes with shaving, so I immediately wondered what was at the tip of your shoe when kicking them.

So the fact that this 'not an adult' Girl is being sexually approached my multiple men equals drama and needless offense? I didn't see the word 'offended'. I saw where what sounds like an underage girl is being intimidated and is afraid of all the sexual advances she receives on this site. But as usual you're response is callous and insulting and seeming as though you are more concerned at the idea that people should not be hurt or offended more than people themselves.
Theres a time for calling out such things and there is a time to realize and understand how a person feels. You seem to often miss the person for what you feel you need to criticize. Quite often you have a 'blame the victim' attitude and seem to care little for justice.

Let's cut to the chase. It should be standard procedure to allow victims to quote the predator's pm and share that pm along with the predator's username with the entire CC family.

So how does that work if, for example, a man is having an issue of a sexual nature and is talking to another man for help? Then one or both get autobanned? Or this private interaction gets forward for admins to be alerted to and the privacy is now lost?
There are ways to report. Most refuse to use it. Many guys that are long term predators last because women won't take action.

I think the problem is that she was young, and frightened, and didn't avail herself of any of the mechanisms already in place.

- In chat you can block someone, and then message a mod.
- In the forum, you can block someone, and then message a mod.

Maybe we can make these systems better... but we do have simple systems in place to deal with problems.

If a girl chose not to use those systems, there is really nothing anyone can do.

This is not the first time that you trashed women's feelings and just blew them off.

The teen forum should be password protected and also a men's and women's forum, password word protected to take the word 'masturbation' and other sensitive material out of public view, through I am not looking for it.

For any of the men out there thinking, "What if she was a psycho chick, and just making stuff up?"

Well, we live in a fallen world.
A. We DO have men who are predators, and come onto sites like this to mess with naive young girls.
B. We DO have girls in the world who are mentally unstable, and can wrongly accuse others.

Both scenarios are, unfortunately, a real issue in a fallen world.

For the men, I'll share my simple security precautions.

1. I never PM anyone, male or female, who is under 18.

2. I don't put anything in a PM that would embarrass me if it were shared in public.
(I sometimes put private thoughts in a PM, and expect it to be confidential, but it's never anything egregious.)

3. I generally stay out of live chat.
(Chat records are probably erased from the server quickly, if not immediately, and therefore it's hard to defend yourself if any false accusations were ever to occur.)

EVERYONE needs to be thinking about security and safety on this site...
both the men and the women.