10 things I've learned about the opposite sex

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Jullianna

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1. they think the bathroom is a library
2. underwear is a perfectly acceptable form of clothing for retrieving the newspaper
3. they tell you it's okay to ask questions about their favorite sport, but you must never ask during the actual event. all questions must be saved until after the event.
4. matching socks are optional
5. if a color wasn't included in their kindergarten crayon box, it doesn't exist
6. they can primp just as long as we can
7. no matter how much they deny it, losing their hair IS a big deal to them so be nice
8. when they run in front of you in the outfield to catch the ball, it's not always because they think you can't catch it. sometimes they are just trying to impress you so don't punch them
9. when they see a woman crying, they will look at one another hoping one of them knows how to fix it
10. sorting laundry is far more complex to them than rocket science

have fun :)
 
Jullianna said:
1. they think the bathroom is a library
As opposed to a public girlie hangout? *cough*
2. underwear is a perfectly acceptable form of clothing for retrieving the newspaper
Sounds like jealousy; yes, we don't need to cover up as much as you women, yes it is much nicer not having to wear a bra! :)
3. they tell you it's okay to ask questions about their favorite sport, but you must never ask during the actual event. all questions must be saved until after the event.
Sounds like a personal problem. Maybe try again when they aren't in the middle of something exciting?
4. matching socks are optional
On saturdays, matching anything is optional!
5. if a color wasn't included in their kindergarten crayon box, it doesn't exist
Oh really? Sounds like you're dating kindergarteners, you might want to try some guys who are a little more advanced in years!
6. they can primp just as long as we can
Uh, no. It can take a while to get ready, but definitely no primping going on there.
7. no matter how much they deny it, losing their hair IS a big deal to them so be nice
...
8. when they run in front of you in the outfield to catch the ball, it's not always because they think you can't catch it. sometimes they are just trying to impress you so don't punch them
Unless you wanna be "one of the guys". Then it's a good plan, maybe even tackle him! :)
9. when they see a woman crying, they will look at one another hoping one of them knows how to fix it
And if there's no one else around, decide that we know how to fix it, and only make it worse!
10. sorting laundry is far more complex to them than rocket science
As long as they fit and don't smell, who cares? And if they don't really fit, just pass them on to the (much smaller) woman folk.

have fun :)
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How do you come up with these threads of yours? I think CC has overtaken your life :)
 
1) They are complicated, so it's best to stop trying to figure them out and just enjoy the ride.

I could attempt to list 9 more things. However, I'd only come back to this a month from now, maybe even a day, to see I was all wrong. :D
 
niceguyJ said:
1) They are complicated, so it's best to stop trying to figure them out and just enjoy the ride.

I could attempt to list 9 more things. However, I'd only come back to this a month from now, maybe even a day, to see I was all wrong. :D
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In other words...he's grown very wise :)
 
5. if a color wasn't included in their kindergarten crayon box, it doesn't exist
Oh really? Sounds like you're dating kindergarteners, you might want to try some guys who are a little more advanced in years!

hahaha! Can't you lose your man card for knowing more colors than that? :confused::p
 
1. Some (not all) girls, are just as messy as some (but not all) guys.
2. Some of them have two faces: Make-up face and natural face.
3. They hit just as hard as guys.
4. Pregancy is not a "magical" experience.
5. There are moments where they make no sense. Just moments...
6. Frail, like eggs, but strong like stones.
7. Favorite towel is NOT an option.
8. Eyeliner = Important. (to some)
9. Try to think of an alternate response, other then what wants to come out naturally.
10. Take mental notes of certian things...

11. "I'm sorry." is a good tool if truly meant. But, also a response with a limited effect.
 
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Jullianna said:
1. they think the bathroom is a library
I don't spend enough time there to read
2. underwear is a perfectly acceptable form of clothing for retrieving the newspaper
Definitely not happening
3. they tell you it's okay to ask questions about their favorite sport, but you must never ask during the actual event. all questions must be saved until after the event.
Ask away, if I'm watching sports, I'm not paying that much attention to it.
4. matching socks are optional
All my socks match
5. if a color wasn't included in their kindergarten crayon box, it doesn't exist
Are we talking the 20 pack or the 164 bonus pack?
6. they can primp just as long as we can
Definite loss of man card
7. no matter how much they deny it, losing their hair IS a big deal to them so be nice
Actually the turning grey bothers me more than the loss.
8. when they run in front of you in the outfield to catch the ball, it's not always because they think you can't catch it. sometimes they are just trying to impress you so don't punch them
I don't really play sports, so I can't comment
9. when they see a woman crying, they will look at one another hoping one of them knows how to fix it
I already know that in most circumstances a hug and sincere attention is all the "fix" that is wanted most of the time.
10. sorting laundry is far more complex to them than rocket science
Sorting laundry is complex?
have fun :)
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Broad generalizations that I really think don't apply to me. (Pun not intended)
 
So Kooper is the only guy in here who has learned anything from women???;) hmmm...

GO KOOPER! :D
 
Jullianna said:
1. they think the bathroom is a library
If that were true, most guys would avoid the bathroom.
2. underwear is a perfectly acceptable form of clothing for retrieving the newspaper
Especially if said underwear has flashy patterns of colors that need to be shown off to all the unappreciative neighbors.
3. they tell you it's okay to ask questions about their favorite sport, but you must never ask during the actual event. all questions must be saved until after the event.
...which they hope will give them time to make up an answer.
4. matching socks are optional
Many of my socks that were once paired with others have become too holy to be considered socks, so their non-holy partners have been paired with other non-holy socks to make a complete, though non-matching pair.
 5. if a color wasn't included in their kindergarten crayon box, it doesn't exist
some of us enjoy colors of all shapes and sizes
6. they can primp just as long as we can
but never with nearly the results
7. no matter how much they deny it, losing their hair IS a big deal to them so be nice
baldness does indeed limit the hairstyle options, and many of us would prefer to cover up our linus-like lumpy noggin...plus its cold not having any hair.
8. when they run in front of you in the outfield to catch the ball, it's not always because they think you can't catch it. sometimes they are just trying to impress you so don't punch them
girls seem to prefer guys that can catch to the less coordinated type, so proving they can catch is apparently a big deal. Or maybe they want to give you an excuse to punch them, which you have been wanting to do anyway.
9. when they see a woman crying, they will look at one another hoping one of them knows how to fix it
when men see a woman crying, it decreased the blood-testosterone level, which was probably intended to increase sensitivity, but since most men think with their *cough* "testosterone", this decrease is usually accompanied by a decrease in the ability to think.
10. sorting laundry is far more complex to them than rocket science
as mentioned previously, i enjoy all sorts of colors, so if they happen to mix in the wash, i embrace it.

have fun :)
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P.S. I'm not a hippie.


 
1. It is possible for them to speak paragraphs without really saying anything.
2. Put- downs, dark humor, and cutting sarcasm are no-fly-zones with most of them.
3. It is acceptable to leave a half hour after the appointed end of a social occasion.
4. They are under this strange impression that all men want and/or think about is sex.
5. This commonly accepted notion that all women are neat and tidy is patently false. I have plenty of anecdotal evidence to prove otherwise.
6. Under no circumstances should you ever take what a woman says at face value.
7. Passive aggression...I will say no more (this was submitted to me by a woman).
8. While watching any sort of movie containing violence, some level of abuse towards humans is acceptable. However, if an animal is in someway harmed it is a tragedy.
9. Multi-tasking is another commonly accepted myth. I can multitask better than most women...and I am "learning disabled."
10. If they are younger than 20, they shouldn't be allowed to date anyone. ;)
 
1.There are no patent rules to women....the rules always change.
2.Leave me alone usually means come hold me.
3.We can go out wherever you like usually means you better choose a place I like or you'll hear about it 6 months from now in an argument.
4.The bathroom is their personal domain for storing implements of self torture and disfigurement known as "beauty aids".
5.They invariably believe that men will not pick up feminine products for "that time of the month" for them.
 
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1/ They have no respect for the sanctity of a man and his football team.
2/ They love the idea of chivalry yet react badly to many acts of chivalry.
3/ They have a bizarre obsession with organising laundry.
4/ They test men all the time, but deny it. Like every request is given in question format so they can be critical when we get it wrong, and they enjoy it, but again deny it.
5/ They should never be allowed to congregate, men never do well out of that setup.
6/ They are able to apply the word 'cute' to almost anything on earth.
7/ They are masters of the stare that can leave a man's soul in terror.
8/ They aren't complicated at all, they just work hard to make us think so, so we'll keep trying to earn their love, it's how they know we are 'worthy'
9/ They love romantic movies, but have concerns about the manliness of men who like romantic movies, whilst simultaenouly complaining men don't embrace the things they like.:confused:
10/ They mistakenly believe they can multi-task, they actually cannot, they can just mess up mutliple things at the same time. :D
 
Ritter said:
1. It is possible for them to speak paragraphs without really saying anything.
errrrrm....okay. Can't argue with that.
2. Put- downs, dark humor, and cutting sarcasm are no-fly-zones with most of them.
but some of us love it even more than chocolate
3. It is acceptable to leave a half hour after the appointed end of a social occasion.
I hate being late for anything
4. They are under this strange impression that all men want and/or think about is sex.
Our fathers tell us this so we won't date them
5. This commonly accepted notion that all women are neat and tidy is patently false. I have plenty of anecdotal evidence to prove otherwise.
I am extremely neat and tidy, except for my bed. I refuse to make it.
6. Under no circumstances should you ever take what a woman says at face value.
We excel at the art of suggestion
7. Passive aggression...I will say no more (this was submitted to me by a woman).
She must surrender her woman card immediately, along with the secret female code book
8. While watching any sort of movie containing violence, some level of abuse towards humans is acceptable. However, if an animal is in someway harmed it is a tragedy.
Animals and CHILDREN must never be harmed. Women who break heels, sprain an ankle while running, or don't go for the gun while the men are fighting don't deserve to survive the movie. Men who aren't funny or can't do a reverse serpentine at 120 mph don't deserve to survive the movie either.
9. Multi-tasking is another commonly accepted myth. I can multitask better than most women...and I am "learning disabled." I can multi-task, but I really don't like it.
10. If they are younger than 20, they shouldn't be allowed to date anyone. ;)
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Sounds reasonable
 
Oncefallen said:
1.There are no patent rules to women....the rules always change.
The woman who told you this must surrender her lady card
2.Leave me alone usually means come hold me.
It means you need to rethink every word you've said for the past week because you said something very, very bad
3.We can go out wherever you like usually means you better choose a place I like or you'll hear about it 6 months from now in an argument.
It means we don't want to hear men complain because they don't like the food at the place we picked.
4.The bathroom is their personal domain for storing implements of self torture and disfigurement known as "beauty aids".
I'm sorry. I don't see an issue here.
5.They invariably believe that men will not pick up feminine products for "that time of the month" for them. ...................
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much better :)
 
Matthew said:
1/ They have no respect for the sanctity of a man and his football team.
2/ They love the idea of chivalry yet react badly to many acts of chivalry.
Some adore chivalry, as long as it doesn't include catching a fly ball I wanna catch
3/ They have a bizarre obsession with organising laundry.
It must be done or the washer explodes
4/ They test men all the time, but deny it. Like every request is given in question format so they can be critical when we get it wrong, and they enjoy it, but again deny it.
You've met some very mean ladies :(
5/ They should never be allowed to congregate, men never do well out of that setup.
Good luck with that :)
6/ They are able to apply the word 'cute' to almost anything on earth.
Adorable is better
7/ They are masters of the stare that can leave a man's soul in terror.
*glaring at you right now*
8/ They aren't complicated at all, they just work hard to make us think so, so we'll keep trying to earn their love, it's how they know we are 'worthy' We are complicated, but apparently some of us are also very mean
9/ They love romantic movies, but have concerns about the manliness of men who like romantic movies, whilst simultaenouly complaining men don't embrace the things they like.:confused: You can enjoy them as long as you don't cry when we're crying because you only have one hankie and WE need it.
10/ They mistakenly believe they can multi-task, they actually cannot, they can just mess up mutliple things at the same time. I can poke you in both eyes at the same time Mister :D
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You need to stop dating mean women :)
 
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